I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created.
Keeping Secrets Chapter 15
Some Birds Are Too Bright To Cage
(Lyrics from Falling Into You by Cody Longo)
Oh my gosh! I said it out loud without thinking. I never wanted him to know I regret marrying him. I didn't want to hurt him like this. If I had known then that this is how we would end up, I would never have married him in Las Vegas. I would have waited a year or two to have the wedding I'd always dreamed of, with my mom and Mel there. I would have been sure of his love and that Chloe was out of his system for good. But I acted on impulse and married him the day after he proposed to me because I thought he really and truly loved me and Chloe was no longer a factor in his life. I wanted to hold onto that happiness. As long as people didn't know we were married nothing could come between us. I always knew she would find a way back into his life. That is why I wanted to keep our marriage a secret. I love him. I really do love him but everything comes back to Chloe. Her presence has always been in our relationship, his friendship with her started five years ago, shortly after we got married. We came home for Tyler's big movie premier and Eddie disappeared for a few hours. When the tour was on break for the holidays, Eddie disappeared for a few hours. I didn't question him because I trusted him and now I know I was foolish for not asking questions. I was foolish for letting it go on for five years now look at us sitting here in this cabin in Big Bear, me wanting a divorce, him desperately fighting for our marriage. It all comes back to Chloe. I can't take the look of shock and disbelief in his eyes so I turn my head and wish that I hadn't. Sitting on the coffee table is our divorce papers, the attorney messengered them to me the day before I went to Fresno. Eddie must have found them in my bag; my favorite writing pen is sitting next to the papers.
"What. The. Hell!" I say to myself. I pour my heart out to her, and she regrets marrying me? I loved her, made love to her, shared my life with her and she regrets marrying me? I tell her she's the love of my life and she regrets marrying me? What is it with the women I open my heart to? Do I have "Fuck Over Eddie Duran" tattooed on my forehead or something? The pain I felt when Chloe broke my heart is nothing compared to what I'm feeling right now. I have to go. I can't stay here any longer. I can't look at her another minute. I get up and almost trip over the coffee table. I look down and see the divorce papers I found in her bag while she was asleep. I pick up the pen, sign my name and place the pen on top. I walk to the door and grab my jacket off the hook. Just then lighting flashes across the dark night sky followed by a ground shaking clap of thunder. I slam the cabin door and stomp down the stairs. The clouds open up and rain pours down on me as I run away from the woman who regrets marrying me.
I jump up at the sound of the door slamming, run to the door and throw it open, "EDDIE!" I call out but he isn't there. I close the door, walk over to the coffee table and pick up the divorce papers staring his signature. I should be happy that he signed the papers but instead, I feel like my whole world is ending. I fall onto the couch resting my head on the back. "What are you doing Loren?" I ask myself. I close my eyes and try to make sense of what just happened. I decide to go take a long hot bath to try and relax. I go pick up my bag by the door, Chloe's book drops out. I pick it up and carry it to the bathroom with me. I run the water in the tub and add some bath oils. I grab a flash light from the drawer in the kitchen and go back into the bathroom. I take off my clothes and slip into the hot water. My muscles begin to relax. I pick up the flash light and open the book to the first page.
I've been sitting in the coffee shop for three hours waiting for the rain to let up. I don't want to have pop driving up here in this kind of weather. It's a good thing the coffee shop is twenty-four hours otherwise I would have to wait out the rain sitting at the bus stop. I can't wrap my head around her saying she regrets marrying me. Just thinking of her words brings a wave of unbearable pain. Has she always regretted marrying me? Why didn't I know this? I always said I know her like I know my own heartbeat so why didn't I know the love of my life regretted marrying me. Well I'm giving her what she wants. She wants a divorce and I signed the papers. I don't want to be tied to someone who doesn't want to be tied to me. I sat there and allowed her to take her anger out on me that night and all along she was regretting marrying me. I begged my father to put me out of my misery and all along she was regretting marrying me. Well she doesn't have to regret it any longer. I signed the damn papers. This doesn't make sense. How could I have lived and loved her for five years and not know she regretted marrying me? Now that I think of it, she couldn't look me in my eyes when she asked if I regretted marrying her. Loren isn't telling me everything. I pay my tab and walk out the coffee shop heading back to the cabin. It's raining harder now and the temperature has drop tremendously. I ignore the pain of the cold wet weather; Loren Duran owes me an explanation.
After three hours, I finally decide to get out the tub. I put the book down long enough to dry off and slip on an oversized t-shirt and panties. I let the water out of the tub and carry the book and flashlight into the bedroom. I climb into bed and continue reading the book. I get to the middle of the book and something pops into my head. Chloe didn't know we were married the first time she called Eddie, no one knew. We didn't tell anyone until almost a year later. I sit up and flip back to the title page again. I hear the front door open and slam close. I jump out the bed and run to the doorway. Eddie is standing in front of the door, dripping wet and looking furious. "How Long?" He ask me in a demanding voice. I look down at the floor. "How fucking long Loren?" I jump and look up at him with fear in my eyes. Eddie has never used profanity towards me. tears start to form in my eyes. Eddie is about to learn he wasn't the only one keeping secrets.
~jm~