Title: Four Suits (Roy and Maes POV)
Warnings: Don't worry, I'll keep you safe.
Disclaimer: I hate this part; it just reminds me of my lack of owning such a great story.
Players In
Roy could barely breathe.
Pant.
He looked around at the destruction, the chaos and the smoke.
Pant.
There weren't fires any longer, he had put them out the moment he had arrived at the scene.
Pant.
What had happened? Why did this happen?
Pant.
His blood was boiling in rage, this would not happen again!
He had run from his car parked on the other side of Headquarters. He told himself over and over it had nothing to do with Maes.
Pant.
He refused to think about the apartment, the close quarters, how soft Maes's hair was. None of that had anything to do with him running like a bat out of hell as soon as he stopped the car. He was just a wreck and needed something, anything, to make his heart stop breaking.
Pant.
Roy stopped in front of a pile of what looked like foundation chunks. He figured it would be as good a place as any to start looking. The smell of charred wood and the dust settling on his clothing wasn't unfamiliar. They were many instances like this near the end of the war, where they spent half their time fighting and the other half digging.
Pant.
He wiped the back of his hand across his forehead and winced. Roy still had his gloves on. He looked down at the grime and dirt covering his once white gloves. He hadn't let them get so bad since… the battle assessment. Roy stopped and rolled up his shirt sleeves. Looking around he saw similarities in the wreckage. At the time, Roy had been surprised and amused that such a pipsqueak of a kid could cause all that damage.
Pant.
Now that same shrimp was under it. Roy took off his gloves and put them in his pocket. Edward was one of his men now, and no pile of pebbles would stand between Roy Mustang and the safety of his subordinate!
Pant.
He saw Maes talking with Havoc but that only made him work harder. Edward was under this rubble and no man was going to distract Roy from his goal. Maes wasn't important right now. Roy didn't love him or anything. It was just old memories surfacing because of his lack of sleep. Roy didn't like men. They were big, clumsy and smelled… well some did. Roy didn't think those things of himself. He was slender in a good way, graceful in an even better way and he rarely smelled of anything but the finest aftershaves.
Pant.
Maes was like his brother. That was all. Like Ed and Alphonse were brothers. They had a close bond, closer than any Roy had ever seen. Roy just thought of Maes that same way. He was certain of it.
Pant.
Thoughts of Edward brought him back to the task at hand. There was no goddamn way he was going to let that boy die underneath all of this. Roy attacked his section with more vigour in the dawn's early light.
Maes walked over to Havoc. Roy had run off before he could say anything and perhaps that was best. He felt uncomfortable after breaking down by the man's front door. It had been worth it though. He felt better even if horribly confused. Maes had longed for that kind of embrace and he hadn't even realised it.
Gracia was always the one who had held him after his nightmare and stroked his hair. It was bizarre to get that same comfort, even though she was gone. It was the same but so very different. Gracia had never held him that tight, as if he would slip away. Gracia's head had never rested on his own. Gracia never smelled like mixed spices. Gracia never had leaned but firmly muscled arms.
Maes scratched the back of his neck. Should he really be accepting that kind of comfort from another man, and enjoy it, crumble in it, crave it?
"Stop it Maes, Edward needs our help now," he told himself. He stood beside Jean Havoc and greeted him. "Hey Havoc."
Havoc looked up with tired eyes and merely addressed him. "Lieutenant Colonel."
Maes saw exhaustion written all over the man's face. He looked almost distraught with worry. Maes scowled himself for being so preoccupied with his own problems. Edward needed his help and all he could think about was how good Roy smelled. What the hell was that?
"He'll be fine," Maes found himself comforting the poor older blond. He stepped closer and was trying to decide if Havoc would appreciate a shoulder pat. Normally these things wouldn't require thought, but Maes found himself very aware of how Havoc was a man, like Roy, and yet he didn't feel the same towards him.
"I know," Havoc said with a small quiver. "It'll take more than this to kill that little shit." The man turned away.
Maes looked over to where Roy was frantically digging. Yes, he thought about the two men very differently. He quickly answered Havoc back in his casual way, looking at the blond. "He's come through worse. Besides, Roy'll kill him if he doesn't make it out."
Saying Roy's name out loud made him feel strange. Not bad strange, but not good strange either. Maes decided he was just sleep and food deprived. He was getting delusional and needed to take his mind off of Roy completely. So he focused on Havoc.
That man was pale and looking rather frantic. Havoc clenched his hands. "Not if I find him first."
Maes looked at his expression in worry. The white of Jean's eyes were all red, making the blue stand out alarmingly. "Jean?"
Havoc looked down. "It's my fault."
"Don't be stupid…" Maes said but couldn't think of what else to say.
Jean was shaking now. "I'm not being stupid here. I know what it is and it's my fault Ed's under this somewhere. If I hadn't cancelled, if only we'd gone for that drink as I promised; he'd be safe and alive and clapping himself silly to help everyone else right now!"
Maes took a stern tone, trying to be strong for Jean, even though on the inside he was falling to pieces. "You didn't know this was going to happen Jean. Don't blame yourself for something you had no control over."
Jean looked at the rubble to the side and spoke bitterly. "I know that! Shit, Hughes, I know that! But I was being selfish and now Ed's caught up in this. It's my fault he's in there!"
Putting aside his new found discomfort at male contact, Maes put his hands on Havoc's shoulders. Jean looked at him and Maes was relieved he didn't feel uncomfortable. "Ed will be fine. And it's not your fault. There was no way you could have known this was going to happen. Ed will be the first one to tell you that."
"I hope so," Jean whispered, "Hughes. I really I hope so."
I hope so too Havoc. Maes left the man to his feverish digging, no longer able to be spared. He was called away when they found someone. A survivor at long last, and with that corporal came the hope the rest of the diggers needed. Maes dashed over and helped the man onto a stretcher.
"Hey soldier," He said to the man with a smile. "You like a building just fell on you."
"One kind of did sir." Maes was pleased to get another smile in return, even if a strained one.
"So, any idea what happened? Actually you know what, Why don't I get your name and visit you tomorrow after they patch you up. I'm sure the last thing you want to do now is give a report." Maes said this lightly, trying to keep the gravity of the situation at bay.
"Sure thing Sir, I wouldn't mind having a visitor. My wife is out of the country. Boy is she going to freak out when she hears about this. My name is Kiger, Brett Kiger, spelt like mustang." The man told him with a groan. The medics promptly took him away to patch up. He wasn't too bad but Maes was no longer paying attention.
The sun was rising over the mountains of debris, casting everyone in an almost heavenly glow. At the mention of mustang, Maes, without thinking, sought out the man. It only took a moment to find him working away at his pile. Roy's light blue shirt was soaked through with sweat and clung to his narrow chest.
Maes's breath caught as he watched the man stand up straight and stretch the kinks out of his back, much like a jungle cat, all slick and alluring. His eyes travelled freely along the man's turned back, watching each muscle flew and relax.
Maes! What on earth are you doing? He kept yelling that over and over again in his mind, but his mind was no longer on task. His whole body was rebelling against his wish to run and hide from this strange feeling, this feeling of pure want.
"No," Maes said as he walked over to where Falman was. "I'm just lonely. That's it, right?"
His back was killing him, but Roy refused to give up. This nagging tug in his mind kept telling him that Edward was just one more stone away.
He couldn't stand the silence any longer. "Hello?" Mustang said in a soft voice to the rubble.
He was such a fool for expecting answer. He scowled for a moment then heard something. Was that a cough?
"Is someone in there?" He spoke again, this time louder.
Exhilaration pumped purely through Roy's veins when a weak voice answered back. "…Yes."
"Hold on and don't move! We'll get you out in a moment." Roy looked around frantically but couldn't see anyone to signal over.
A slightly stronger voice spoke from his pile. "…go anywhere, stupid moron."
It sounded very familiar and Roy's heart filled with glee, but he had to be certain. "Ed? Is that you?"
He'd never been so happy to hear the sarcastic reply of, "No, I'm at the fucking Library, you idiot."
Roy pulled another stone aside. "Ed?"
The name was like honey one his tongue. Ed was alive. Grinning like a fool, Roy pulled away another piece of wreckage. The half up sun beamed down a small crack in some of the foundation. Roy could see one golden eye.
"Mustang." Relief was laced in the very familiar voice.
Roy wanted to pull the debris away like a mad man but sense returned to him. Edward may be injured badly and moving random rocks would only make it worse. "Ed, how bad is it?"
"My legs are stuck and there's a beam that wants to squash me, other than that it's fine." Ed croaked. Roy could hear the limited time in his voice.
"I'll get some of the others to help. We'll get you out as soon as we can," Roy said in a loud voice for Ed to hear and stepped away from the crack.
"Mustang!"
Roy quickly brought his face back into view. "What?"
"Don't let it be too long." Edward sounded small for the first time and it tore at Roy's heart. Roy hated that tone in someone like Edward. Edward always spoke as if he could step on them all and it was the only voice that suited him.
When Edward looked away, something clicked in Roy's mind. Compelled by a sense of reasoning he couldn't figure out, Roy reached into the hole and brushed Edward's bangs aside. His skin was rough with dirt and his hair was cracked with grime.
"It won't be long," Roy comforted. "I promise."
He quickly hopped down from the rock he was using to peer in. It looked like he could get Ed out with just another person. Roy shouted out to Havoc who was within shouting distance. The blond signalled Hughes and the two were there in no time. Roy was about to help them, but something white caught his attention.
Zolf Kimblee was wandering around the site, watching Roy. Suddenly Roy felt very self conscious of how he looked. His shirt was soaked with sweat and sticking to him like a second skin. He had long since taken off his jacket and pant-skirt. Roy regretted it but made no move to reclaim them. He would not hide. Roy was no longer a teen at the academy and he sure as hell was not the man he had been in the war. He was Colonel Mustang, the Flame Alchemist and that was enough for Kimblee to respect him.
"Maes I leave this to you. Something important needs my attention." Roy told Maes in a low tone and walked over to the equipment truck, away from all of them. He needed to draw Kimblee away from everyone's attention in case there was a scene. HE put on his gloves, just in case.
Roy picked up a clipboard and checked over the signatures. Damn, for once people did their paperwork right. What was he going to look engrossed in now?
"HeyRoy, whatcha doin?" Kimblee made his way over to the truck, sidestepping medics and a much winded private carrying blueprints; he must have found those in the archives across the base.
Roy turned away from the truck and headed for the next one. "How nice of you to join us in this crisis, Lieutenant Colonel but I do believe last time we met I ordered you to be in uniform this morning."
Roy knew he sounded like the perfect bastard colonel he was often called. He knew how to be whoever was needed for whatever the occasion. Roy was a master of masks.
"Well I do believe you said I had to be in your office at nine in my uniform. It's six in the morning Roy. I still have time before you break out the court marshal papers." Kimblee laughed a bit before fixing his hat. He was wearing a similar suit to the day before, except this time it was a snow white with thin blue pinstripes.
Roy picked up an unopened box of gauze and handed it to a nearby corporal, giving him instructions. He could only look busy for so long.
"How long do you plan on ignoring me?" Kimblee cut off his planned direction of walking.
"I'm not. This is a crime site now. Go get your uniform on to at least look professional. We have evidence to gather." Roy said dismissively and made his way to the center of where the building would have been. He may as well look now before whatever may be there was destroyed by the medical teams running around.
"Fine, Flame. I'll meet you back here in twenty minutes; it isn't as if you're going to talk to me properly. After all I only found the array." Kimblee told him in a disinterested voice.
He started walking away but Roy grabbed him by the elbow. "You found it?" Roy exclaimed.
Kimblee quickly grabbed Roy's hand and twisted around so they were face to face. No one around them seemed to notice and Roy couldn't help the feeling coming over him. It was like he was twenty and helpless all over again. He resented it.
"Now this," Kimblee whispered heatedly, "is the 'Stang I remember."
Roy shoved the man back hard. "You are to report back here in twenty minutes from now dressed in full uniform Lieutenant-Colonel. You are dismissed."
Kimblee's eyes were wide for a moment, then his familiar slimy smile spread across his lips. "I see the pretty pony has learned a new trick."
Roy poised his fingers to snap.
The taller man sighed. "Fine, it's a good thing I haven't been issued a dorm yet. I'll be back, don't miss me too much."
Roy watched his back until he was offsite.
"Fuck."
That's all he could think of to say.
"Ed?" Maes asked the rock pile.
He and Havoc evaluated the rubble when a tentative voice spoke up, "Hughes?"
Hughes sighed and smiled at Jean. The man still looked terribly pale as he eyed a massive beam. Hughes spoke. "Thank God you're okay. Listen, we're going to move some of this away. You have to tell me if it starts to fall on you."
He knew he sounded lame, but in the situation they were in…it was the best he could come up with.
"Gee thanks Hughes. I can see this is a first class operation."
Maes smiled at the sarcasm but picked up on the underlying panic. They needed to move fast.
"Jean," Maes said softly so Ed wouldn't hear, "We need to get that beam first. I think only the two of us can handle it. Getting another person will take too long."
"You're right," Havoc wiped his forehead and hurried to the far side of the beam. He gave Maes a thumbs-up and positioned himself to lift with his legs.
"Okay, one, two, three and lift!" Maes whispered urgently.
The beam made their spines creak with its weight. Falman rushed over with a shovel and used it as a lever. Between the three of them the beam wiggled to the side. Falman used to shovel to wedge it away so it wouldn't roll back over Ed.
Maes looked back into the now wide hole. He tried to keep his face blank but couldn't help being worried at how awful Edward looked. "Ed?"
"Cramp," Ed grunted and twitched as he rolled over. Falman reached in to pull the younger man out but he was caught. "Fuck!"
Maes grabbed him before more damage was caused. "Damn. Sorry Ed. Havoc there's something in the way. Can you get it?"
Havoc nodded and reached under Ed. A jagged window frame with some glass still attached was cutting into Ed. Havoc tossed it aside. "Got it."
Maes then pulled Edward out completely while Falman grabbed the stretcher, signalling to Havoc to get the other end. Maes placed the top half of Ed on the stretcher and hurried to grab his legs before Ed slipped off. It would have been so much easier if Roy had stayed. Maes looked around for Roy but he was nowhere in sight.
"Hey Havoc," Edward said lightly.
Maes grinned and noticed Jean had tucked Ed in with a grey blanket while he wasn't looking.
"Hey Boss," Havoc said in subdued tone.
Maes sensed it was time for him to leave. He couldn't put his finger on it, but these two needed time to talk some things out. "I'm off to let Roy know you're out, Ed. Havoc can make sure you get to the medics."
Ed gave him a half hearted wave as Maes left. "Okay. Thanks Hughes."
Maes returned Ed's gesture with his signature finger salute then headed over to the equipment trucks. He could have sworn he'd seen Roy here. Not being able to find the man left him feeling empty. What were these odd feelings?
Roy walked down the makeshift road with purpose. It was made by many boots and trucks driving from the damaged building to the triage tent. All the survivors were sent there before they were moved to the base infirmary. Roy looked up at the green canvas pointed pyramid for a moment, before entering.
The array photos were still developing so he had time to visit Fullmetal. The doctor had already called indirectly to Hawkeye. Scratches, bruises, a few cracked ribs and of course, a non lethal head wound, so basically it was just a case of the 'Elric Special'.
Roy was overly happy Ed was safe but something was different. He was half unsettled and off centered, as if something catastrophic had almost happened and Roy had just survived by the skin of his teeth.
"Except it wasn't me... not me, Fullmetal is the one that almost died, but then, why do I feel it was me instead. I should be used to visiting him in the hospital by now." Roy spoke softly to himself.
Roy looked around the tent. It was mostly empty now, most of the people already moved to the infirmary. He was relieved it was only the foot of Ed's bed, a handful of medics and…a jackass.
"Well, well, this looks cosy," the familiar voice said ahead of him. Roy looked him standing just a couple feet away from the cot. "Is it a private party or can anyone join in?"
"Definitely private," a different voice from within the room growled. That was Havoc without a doubt. It was hard to hear from the other side of the tent.
Roy walked over closer to get a better look at what was going on, schooling his face into a cold expression.
"A pity. I've always been partial to blonds." Kimblee hadn't seen him yet so Roy walked over further.
He saw Ed glance his way then looking back at Havoc, who was… on top of him in a hospital bed. That was an interesting development of events. Roy's eyes grew wide a moment despite his mask. What was going on? Why did this unsettle him? It must be Kimblee's presence, who decided to make himself known again.
"Although the occasional brunette is always worth playing with." Kimblee voice was low and thoughtful with an almost silken edge. Roy knew this mode all to well. Kimblee was like a snake, all cool and slick with no edges. In a sense he was beautiful but in that same way he was repulsive.
Roy addressed Kimblee. "Lieutenant-Colonel."
Kimblee turned away from the two in the bed. His wide grin told Roy the man knew he was there from the start.
"Two blonds Roy, haven't you even been tempted once?" Kimblee's tactics were old and Roy didn't respond. It would be best to not add fuel to the fire, but then Kimblee added more. "The younger one looks rather tasty."
The man licked his teeth much like a savage beast about to devour its prey and once again, something inside Roy broke. He wasn't even aware of his body moving until he had Kimblee's uniform collar gripped tightly within his fists.
"Let's go," Roy growled only loud enough for Kimblee to hear.
He then dragged the man out of the tent, not acknowledging the two blondes left behind.
"So, you've learned more than just one new trick." Kimblee snickered when Roy released his uniform jacket. "And why did I have to put this thing on if you were just going to mess it up? If you have a kink for wrinkles, my leisure suit would have been more than adequate."
Roy ignored him and scowled at himself. He was just making things worse. Why was all of this happening now? He glared at the wall blocking the two from view. He had dragged Kimblee here to literally beat him to a bloody sack of useless skin but now he just wanted to go home and sleep. Too many things had happened all at once and Roy needed to figure out why he was so reactive.
Kimblee broke his trance of utter chaos with an unexpected gesture. His cold hand ran up the side of Roy's neck to the back of his head.
Roy was losing his mind. "What are you doing?"
"What's it look like I'm doing? I'm making up for lost time." His low voiced oozed over Roy like thick and sticky syrup. No, that wasn't accurate; it was like being circled by a snake. Kimblee Cobra was loosely coiling around his ankles now, getting ready to trip Roy, and then attack while he was down.
No!
Roy smacked his hand away and glared at the convict. "Lost time? LOST TIME? What the fuck are you talking about? You're a mass murderer dammit. You killed all those people. You thought I'd just forget?"
"Yeah, I killed those people but so what? It was a war dammit. Roy, don't start pointing fingers like you some kind of hero… wait a second, didn't Colonel Mustang get covered in those pretty little medals for his heroism?"
-----
Roy was stand on the brink of a great chasm. It was smouldering and smelled strongly of burning flesh. He couldn't feel sick anymore. The war had made him hard and distant. Roy gathered his brown over coat close to his neck and stepped into the hole.
"Hiya Roy-boy. Come to give me a kiss and tell me what a great job I did?" It was Kimblee. His eyes were impossibly wide and only rivalled by his intense grin. His insanity was measured in the size of his creation, or more appropriately, his destruction. Roy walked to the center of what used to be the last Ishbalian city, populated by a peaceful group of families who had surrendered already.
Now it was a hole, a literal scoop out of the landscape. No one would have ever guessed a city was once there.
Roy made sure his gloves were on snugly before speaking. "We need to leave, Kimblee."
"Kimblee? We're closer than that." He grinned and stood up in lavish spin. "Look around us! I did this. I did this all. This city size hole is mine. I mean, I forgot that part over there," he gestured to the far side where buildings and a road still remained, "but I can demolish that too."
Roy tried to speak but was cut off. "But why? The war is over—"
"Over? Oh my, over? It has only begun." Kimblee eyed the remaining section of the town.
Before he could do a thing, Kimblee was running towards it. Soldiers were still trying to clear out the survivors but Kimblee never paid attention to those kind of details, after all he destroyed a city that was housing a lot of the injured Amestrian people. The death count was already too high and Roy knew what he had to do.
He had to do what only he could do. No one else could stop the savage alchemist who used to be his friend…and lover.
Kimblee was already in the middle of the street and Roy had to sprint to reach him before the man clapped.
"Kimblee! You move I'll snap and this will be over for everyone!" Roy stood his ground with his hand poised. It was suicidal but he didn't care. What did he have to live for? Maes was getting married in a couple months.
"Is that how it's going to be, Roy?" Kimblee's face was dark and feral. "You snap, I clap and we all die? You may not know how to enjoy this war thing properly but surviving is key. If you and I joined forces, just imagine what we could do. No more secrets and hiding. We could do what we wanted, even take over. Wouldn't that be the ultimate, Roy—?"
But Roy never heard the rest. Their conversation distracted Kimblee long enough for the madman to be arrested. Roy watched them drag Zolf away and swore he would never walk this path again. This was an obvious sign that loving you own sex was wrong.
Roy would never be wrong again.
-----
He was a hero for saving everyone from the alchemist menace, but really, he had only saved himself from making poor choices.
"Lost time? The only person who lost time was you. Now get out of here before I find a way to stick you back in that cell for the rest of your insane life." Roy growled and shoved the man away.
Making any sort of physical contact was a bad move on Roy's part. Kimblee grabbed his hands and pinned them above his head. His back burned with the regretful memory of all the lifting he did only hours ago. He was in a fresh uniform but still tired as hell.
"Fuck you Kimblee, let me go!" Roy felt like a complete idiot but he refused to just let things happen like before.
"You used to," Kimblee leaned down, "but I think I fucked you more." In a quick motion he brought his lips down onto Roy's and pressed them aggressively. Roy wiggled his wrist so that he could position his fingers.
Maes gave up. Roy was no where to be found. He scratched the back of his head and headed for the tent where Ed was. He was so tired and just wanted to go home and sleep. But home meant the utter quiet of that wonderful house and the memories that surfaced in the void.
"I have to stay distracted. A visit with Ed would do just that. I'm sure he's being a pest to the doctors and need my help. Ed always needs me, whether he admits it or not. Plus, it is a sin for him to be in there by himself." Maes went over many different versions of the same justification speech as he opened the tent flap.
All the occupants were gone but Ed now. Hughes was glad. He spotted the doctor and went to chat with him.
"How's Edward Elric doing?" Hughes smiled when the doctor let out a massive sigh.
"Giving him his needles was fun. I had to get his older brother to hold him down. That young man has more energy than all my daughters put together."
Maes laughed but then stopped. "His brother? Alphonse is here?"
Dr. Cimon, as his nametag said, paused and looked up. "No… I believe his name was Jean Havoc. At first I thought they were just co-workers but after all thatit's obvious they share a very close bond. I just assumed they were brothers. You don't see many cousins who are that close. The surnames through me off but considering their ages they must be half brothers or something similar. The blond hair gives them away though."
Maes thought about it for a while. He never recalled those two being very close, at least not close enough to be considered anything but light friends. Maybe he wasn't as perceptive as he thought. Maes scowled himself. That would not do well for the case he was working on. Kamp and Roy were depending on him to be like a hawk. They couldn't afford to slip up with how serious this group was getting in their demonstrations.
He and the doctor rounded a shelf of supplies that block Ed's cot from immediate view. Maes looked at the two in a comforting embrace and was reminded of the last night. Dammit, he was thinking about it again. It meant nothing!
He turned his attention back to Ed and Havoc. "What happened?"
Havoc replied tersely, "Nothing."
Ed look at Jean briefly then turned to Maes. "Just an asshole."
Great, Ed describing someone as an asshole was like him saying they were taller than him, so basically anyone. Maes asked Ed to specify, "Which one?"
"Kimblee. But the bastard took him out."
" Roy did?" Bastard usually meant Roy. Is that where he's been? Was Kimblee causing problems or were they working on the array? Either way Maes needed to be there. He turned on his heel and left.
If I were Mustang, where would I be?
In a field… Maes slapped himself in the face. This is not the time for lame jokes!
As if to answer his question seriously, an orange flare lit up the morning scene of rubble. Found him!
Maes walked towards the small piece of wall where the flash originated from when a smoking man bumped into him. Maes turned around as he walked away. It was Kimblee… and the end of his pony tail had a ribbon of smoke trailing from it possibly. What had just happened?
Maes looked around the corner. Roy wasn't there at first glance, but then Maes looked down. Roy was sitting on the ground, head in hands.
"...Roy?" He asked carefully.
Roy didn't respond. Maes walked over in front of him and knelt. " Roy...?"
"What do you want Hughes. I'm in an important meeting." Roy didn't move from his position and was very quiet. He voice was dull and without any conviction.
"A meeting? With who? Kimblee just left." Maes inquired and tilted his head to the side, trying to get a look at Roy's face.
At the mention of Kimblee's name, Roy's head snapped up. "What do you want Hughes? I have things to do and no time to just sit around talking about my schedule."
"I was just wondering if you were okay." Maes saw the spiralling out of control the conversation was doing. Maes saw the out of control direction the conversation was taking and became worried. What was going on with Roy?
"That is none of your concern. If you need someone to poke at to fill the void in your life, go bother Fullmetal. The last thing I need is your worry. I'm a fucking grown man." Roy stood up abruptly and wiped off his pants. "I'll drop the array pictures off at your office tomorrow. Good day."
Maes panicked as Roy started to walk away so he grabbed his hand. Roy froze and pulled away. "What are you doing?" He said in disbelief, but also kind of coldly.
"I don't know," Maes replied honestly. He had acted impulsively.
Roy looked away and straightened his pant-skirt. "Next time I suggest knowing. You can't hold just anyone's hand because you 'don't know'."
Maes thought a thousand things at once, Ed hugging Havoc, Roy holding him and the odd tickle in the pit of his stomach that fluttered every time he saw Roy now were just the foremost. Were they all connected?
"I have to go," was all Roy said before striding away. Maes felt twice as stupid as he did grabbing Roy's hand, now that he was kneeling in the debris alone.
He got up and walked a couple steps around the small wall. What was he going to do now?
"Dammit! I need to go home." Roy cursed to himself as he roamed around a white hall that looked just like the last one, and the one before that. Damn medical facilities always had the sane drab coloured walls. It drove him mad.
Roy thought the long walk he took would cool him off, but it hadn't. Then lunch should have done the trick, but now he just had more fuel to add to his tantrums. Now he was flying down hallway after hallway. A sure fire way to blow off steam was to talk with Fullmetal, so that's what he was going to do, that and check his injuries. He hadn't seen the boy since he pulled Kimblee out of that damn tent.
He stormed over to the nearest nurse's station and demanded directions. She gave him a bored look and pointed to a room down the hall. Roy thought she should be more attentive or even intimidated by his uniform but didn't bother to stay and impress that on her.
He was by the door in a few strides but stopped short. It wasn't fair to bait Fullmetal into a heated conversation. It would only make his stitches tear. Roy had already gotten a full briefing on Ed's behaviour from the doctor already. It explained seeing Jean on top of Ed back earlier that day, but Roy still felt uneasy.
He opened the door, more calm than prior and walked in. It was a private room with even more white than the halls. Roy felt like he was caught in the most boring blizzard of all time. The only colour to be found was the sprawl of golden locks almost peeking out from under a blanket.
He walked over to a spare chair and sat, fully intending to wait until the younger alchemist woke up. He sat there for about ten minutes in silence. It was nice. With the chaos of all day it was blissful to just sit there quietly, but he knew it wouldn't last long.
And it didn't.
Edward made a noise from his white linen nest. The muffled sounds were soft but Ed started to thrash as they got louder. The blanket wrapped around him like a cocoon.
"Fullmetal—Ed don't wiggle so much, you're trapped." Roy whispered loudly and tried to pull the sheets away. Ed was very still now, hearing a voice must have calmed him. Roy was able to pull the sheets away from his face and froze. Ed's hair was gone. Well not completely gone, but a big shaven chunk was missing.
"Got to get out…" Ed was murmuring in his sleep. Roy leaned in close to hear him better. "Out of here, get me out of here."
Roy turned his head to face Edward. It was so sad; the sheets must have triggered a memory of being stuck under all that destruction. Roy looked at Edward for a long time. He was so different now then when they first met, or was he?
Hospital bed, that was the same even if in a different place. Injured as a result of alchemy, that too was the same but only vaguely. Edward wasn't nearly as beaten and broken as when he was twelve and missing two limbs.
Roy huffed a bit and watched Edward's hair move. He moved away. Why was he vulturing over the boy like that? No, Ed wasn't a boy. He knew that. Ed was never a boy. He had that burning will back then that he still had now. It was that fire that kept Ed alive all these years.
Roy reached out his hand and touch Edward's forehead with two fingers. He ran them horizontally, brushing a piece of golden hair side.
Dammit, what am I doing?
I don't know.
…knowing before doing…
Roy pulled his hand away and left the room. The sun beaming in from the window down the hall told him it would be dinner time in a matter of hours. He looked in through the small door window. Edward was awake and looking around the room.
Roy ducked aside and leaned against the wall. He felt terribly depressed and his boots weren't as shiny as they should be. He focused on them with acute attention.
"Mustang?"
Roy turned his head without raising it. He recognised the voice but his mind did not want to connect it to a face. He would like very much to sink to the floor and not move until night fall. He was drained now. First there was the torment in his apartment and then the anguish of Edward's plight. Then Kimblee decided he didn't care that it was Roy who allowed his capture and imprisonment, no, he just wanted to fuck Roy into the floor.
A pink string bag entered his view. In it was…a melon. He snapped to attention, resulting in him banging the back of his head on the wall. Roy squinted and gave the Fuhrer a watery eyed salute.
"Are you alright Mustang?" He asked in an oddly concerning tone.
Roy couldn't help but feel it was a fake comment even though he had no reason to think that way. He said an abrupt "Fine Sir," and wait to for him to say 'relax'.
"You know, Mustang, I think you may be under too much pressure." He lifted up the melon so Roy could see it while remaining at attention. "See this? This fruit here is the secret of life. I suggest you take today off and find some solace."
"Solace Sir?" Roy turned his head and looked at Fuhrer Bradley curiously.
"You almost lost one of your men today. I know how watchful and loyal you are to them, it reflects in how they serve you. You're dismissed for the rest today, take advantage because tomorrow you and Kimblee will be working no stop on that damned group and finding out what the hell they want."
Roy felt the honesty in those words. The Fuhrer didn't want to see more deaths just like him. Roy gave the appropriate answer of, "Yes Sir," and left the hospital.
There was nothing Roy could think of that would give him any form of comfort. He could go pick up a woman somewhere, but he didn't want to. He was tired and the last thing he wanted was some person trying to wiggle their way into his life unbidden and without real fervour. All those single seamstresses, waitresses and actresses only saw the uniform, the body, the charm but never the man. It wouldn't bother Colonel Mustang but at that moment he felt like just plain old Roy, and Roy wanted to get plastered.
So that's what he planned to do with his afternoon off. No Edward, no Kimblee, no Maes and no life to bother him.
Maes pushed his food around on his tray. He could cook but eating alone in his house wasn't very appealing. That's how he ended up at the mess hall. He stabbed his fork into the potatoes and sighed when it didn't fall over. No potato should be able to stand up to the force of gravity that was acting on that fork.
Today was just a day of things that were not supposed to be.
Kimblee was not supposed to be out of prison. He should be rotting in there until he actually succeeded in rotting away. Now he was roaming around the base in his leisure suit and sometimes even in uniform. The psycho even had the same rank of Maes, the nerve.
Roy was not supposed to be stressed. Maes had gone went to his office earlier and found out from Hawkeye. The Fuhrer himself had given gave Roy the rest of the day off. When does did that ever happen?
Ed shouldn't be living in the infirmary with Havoc as his oddly constant companion. Al should be here looking after Edward. Hughes spooned some peas into his mouth. Where was Ed even going to stay when this was done?
In a flash of sheer brilliance, Maes Hughes discovered a way to solve all his problems. He stood up and smiled at the ceiling, unknowingly attracting the entire mess hall's attention.
"Edward can stay with me!" He announced loudly for everyone to hear, his reason unknown to all, including himself. Maybe it was joy? Maybe it was insanity? One thing Maes knew for certain was that, it was brilliant.
He jumped up on the mess table, fuelled by his enigmatic glee. "He can live with me and my house won't be so spooky. Any building with Edward Elric in it is full of yelling, crashing, snoring and many other wondrous sounds! The loneliness will go away and life will be ok again. Oh joy of joys…I must tell Roy!"
He leapt off the table like a deer and danced his way towards the double doors leading out. Not once did he give heed to the slack jawed soldiers staring in his direction.
He was halfway down the front Central Headquarters stairway when a thought occurred to him.
"I don't know where Roy is… I'll just go and tell Ed the great news." Maes smiled and hurried off to the Infirmary on the other side of the base. He tried to be faster but the little bubble of energy his genius gave him wasn't enough. The weariness of the day was pulling at him now.
"What if Ed says no?" Maes found himself talking out loud as he walked. "Ed would never say no. He loves it at my house. Well he used to, he never visits anymore. Roy doesn't either. Poor Elysia would walk around with that lonely face. It's good she's away. She has a chance now, a chance to make some friends and forget all this."
Maes looked over to where the male barracks used to be. All the evidence had been gathered, so now there were teams working on salvaging beams and other large pieces of the building to make a new one. Armstrong was in the thick of it. Maes thought that if Edward was in better health, he could make all their lives easier. Armstrong was an excellent alchemist and an asset to have, but he was nothing when it came to recreating something on that scale. Edward would be able to, without even breaking a sweat.
"Ed needs to get better soon so he can help us all out. He would recover better if left in my care."
Maes fixed his coat and thought briefly of all the work it took to find that damned array. They spent the better part of the day gathering stones with charred lines and photographed each one. Armstrong was in charge of making certain none remained but Roy had already written the report saying marked stones wouldn't be enough. Assembling the stones into an array that would actually be plausible would be a hell of a project. He didn't envy Roy and Kimblee. Maes personally hated picture puzzles. He loved logic ones, but that was something completely different.
Soldiers rushed passed him, guns in hand. Oh yes, security was increased ten-fold. HE doubted he could so much as scratch his chin now without a patrol seeing him. There were snipers on the room tops and guards walking the perimeter at all times. He wondered if Hawkeye was on duty right now, watching him from above. All the snipers were double tasked. They had their real job and then their sniper job. Maes thought it sounded awful but Hawkeye said the pay was double too so she didn't mind. There was an expensive dog bed she was looking into buying.
Maes walked up the Infirmary steps and opened the doors. The front lobby was not its usual sparkle of cleanliness. Muddy stretcher tracks and foot prints lead in all directions. He could see a couple of nurses trying in vain to clean up the bloody finger trails on the walls with wash rags.
"Would you like some help? Where is your janitorial staff?" Maes asked and bent down.
A tired nurse with her blonde hair pulled back in a long French braid passed him a pair of gloves to put on. "For yer protection Sir." She gave him a weak smile and went back to her bucket. Maes rolled up his sleeves.
The other nurse with a black bob and a hair band handed him a sponge. "They can't be spared for something as trivial as this. They have been working all day trying to keep the surgical wards spotless. I'd say they'd be lucky to get them sanitary. I'd like to know why the last batch brought in was so wet. It's not raining is it?"
Maes had his gloves pulled up to his elbows and a sponge in hand. He submerged the sponge in what smelled like watered down bleach and squeezed it. "They found an intact shower area. All the water pipes actually protected the men in there from certain death. In order to get them out, the pipes had to be cut and… the sprinklers started. At least they were clean?"
The blonde laughed. "Ai, they were clean and healthy, but the ones who brought'em weren't." She had an accent he couldn't quite place, it was light, somewhat eroded away after years in Amestris no doubt, but pleasurable. "You know, the walls won't get any cleaner unless you move that sponge of yours, sir."
"Call me Maes. I doubt my rank has anything to do with clean walls," said Maes with a grin.
"And poorly at that, just because we aren't using water doesn't mean you don't have to scrub." The brunette snickered and moved his hand up and down the wall vigorously. "Like that. My name is Blythe and that one over there is Deirdre."
"Ya make it sound like I'm not important; I hope you remember who is being groomed for the next management position." Deirdre scowled and scrubbed her section of wall to a remarkable white.
"Deirdre, that's an interesting name. It's like DEER-tree but… not with a t… heh." Maes said stupidly and laughed.
"Yeah, somethin' like that, but yer one to talk. What kind of name is 'Maes' anywho?" Deirdre had her hands on her hips and waiting. Her brown eyes practically smiled with mischief.
Blythe shook her head and continued her cleaning. Maes suddenly felt the need to defend his name so lovingly chosen by his equally caring parents.
"Maes means field. My eyes match the fields of where I used to live," he reasoned with an upturned nose. He liked his name.
Deidre smirked and turned her attention back to the wall. After a moment she wiped around and pointed her sponge at him. "Oh, so yer named after corn fields, like 'mais'."
Blythe laughed, "No wonder you're so corny."
"Hey now ladies, I'm just a poor soldier who came in here looking for his friend. If you want to mock me, I can gladly go sit in his room and leave you two to clean." He winked at them as he began to pull off his gloves.
"We're sorry," Blythe exclaimed.
"Please, just help with the walls," added Deirdre, "if we leave the blood on it will stain and painters will need to come in. Ya know how hard it is ta recover when there's paint fumes about?"
Maes made an over theatrical groan and resumed his scrubbing. "Fine, I guess Edward can wait."
"Yer friend is Edward? Thet adorable blond on the second floor?" Deirdre started to laugh. "Doctor Cimon has been up to his ears in problems with that one. I says to him, 'why don't ya just give him a sedative?' but he says to me that 'the squirt has to much spite for it to work.' I can see that."
"Deirdre, you've been at this too long." Blythe took the bucket away from Deirdre's side. "I think the sodium hypo is rotting your brain. You should hear yourself; I could hardly understand what you just said. Speak slowly or speak properly."
Maes listened to them bicker as he scrubbed away the last of the blood streaks. The floors were another story, but he didn't have time to help with those.
"Well ladies," Maes said to them but he wasn't certain if they even heard him. "I need to be on my way now… goodbye…" He gave up and just deposited his sponge in the bucket.
He went to take up his soiled gloves but Blythe stopped him. "If you touch your skin with the outside of the glove, it defeats the purpose of wearing them. I doubt you know the trick of it so I'll just remove them for you."
Maes inspected his hands. "I don't see anything on them."
"Yes but even a drop of blood you can't see can spread a disease. It's best to not take any chances. So far we haven't had any fatalities today; I don't want to push our luck further."
Maes held out his hands. Blythe rolled the gloves meticulously down his arms with practiced precision. They were lucky not many people had been in the dorms when they had exploded. There had been an all night event, listening to that silly radio show Roy's staff liked to listen to, in the Junior Ranks club. The big finale was coming up so the station had been doing a marathon broadcast to catch everyone up. They still hadn't been as lucky as he would have hoped, many were severely injured, both permanent and not.
"Maes, don't look down. Yer friend is fine and so are many others. There was an angel looking over that building last night." Deirdre smiled at him warmly.
He felt his mood darken and that weary wave wash over him once again. "If there really were angels, Miss Deirdre, no one would need to be here in this hospital. If there were angels, evil people wouldn't be killing mass quantities of people for no reason. If there really were angels, my little girl wouldn't have to live with her grandparents because there was no angel there for her mother. There are no angels Miss Deirdre, and someone in your profession should realise that."
Maes rolled his sleeves back down without looking at the two nurses. "If there really were angels, I wouldn't be offering my now homeless friend a place to stay, nor would I even know him. A severe lack of angels and good things watching over us is what brought most of the people in my life together. So I ask you this, do we really want angels and gods around? I say none of them exist, because if they do, why is there so much evil in this world?"
He left the two speechless. Maes felt centuries older and very sad. Garcia was his angel. Her letters during the war had kept him safe and now it was his turn to save another. He guessed that's how it went.
He was in front of Edward's door at long last. The sun hung low in the sky through the window down the hall. He leaned against the door by the wall and looked at his hands. Did he believe in angels?
Voices from inside brought him back to reality. Maes looked in through the window.
Ed was sitting in his bed with Jean in a nearby chair. Edward said "Did you get any sleep today?"
Jean sleepily replied, "Not yet. It's on my list of things to do."
"You look like you need it," Ed commented and Maes couldn't agree more. He wondered what he looked like. At least he smelled clean… well as clean as bleach. So toxic, he smelled delightfully toxic. It was fitting with how he felt, but that would soon change. Ed was going to live with him and make everything right.
Maes opened the door. "Hey Ed!"
Havoc looked at him with a relieved look. "Lieutenant-Colonel."
Maes bluntly told him, "You look tired." But Jean only smiled and replied "So do you, Lieutenant-Colonel."
Maes sighed and looked at the even lower sun in the small room window. It would be dusk in a couple hours. "It's been a long day."
Havoc got up. "I'll just go get some coffee, Ed? Sir?"
'Yeah," Ed replied, "thanks Havoc."
Maes was glad he was leaving. Not out of dislike for him, but for the nature of the conversation he wished to have with Edward. "Not for me, thank you. I'm only here a few minutes."
Maes watched Havoc leave and once the door was closed behind him, Maes sat in the chair. "So how exactly are you, Ed?"
"You know exactly how I am," Ed said with a smirk, "you nosy bastard. You read my charts on the way in."
"Now Edward, how can you say that?" Maes cursed himself. That was an excellent idea, why didn't he think of it himself? He must be more tired than he thought.
Ed grinned at him. "Because that's what you do, Hughes."
Maes found it in him to grin back weakly. "Ed, I came to ask if you wanted to stay at my place when they release you from here."
"You… want me to stay?" Ed's portrayal of a fish out of water was astounding. Maes almost wanted his camera, but he hadn't touched on since Gracia's death.
Maes tilted his head to look out the window. The glare from the setting sun was caught in his glasses. "Yes. It will be a while before they rebuild the dorms and I have plenty of room."
"Uh…I… I already agreed to stay with Havoc." If Edward's earlier impression was good, this one was phenomenal.
Maes somehow knew Ed would say no. "Ah, I see."
Edward scrambled to say, "I'm sorry, Hughes, but…"
"It's ok," Maes tried for a smile but the empty house loomed in his mind. It was all he could do to appear calm when inside, he wanted to curl up into a ball. "Ed. It's your decision. I'm not asking you to change it."
Why was he staying with Havoc? What was wrong with him? Was it because of all that hugging earlier? Maes thought about it, Jean has been in this room as long as Ed and hasn't left his side since they all pulled Ed out of that hole. Or at least, it seemed that way.
Maes was ashamed of himself. This was only the second time he visited Ed all day. Of course Ed would choose Jean; they had this closeness, 'like brothers' and all that. He felt strangely jealous but wasn't certain why.
"Well, I'll be going. I only came to check up on you." Maes said it crisply as he got up. He needed to leave before he did something regretful.
"You don't have to go yet." Ed said. Maes could here the surprise in Ed's voice.
"I still have a lot to do." Like face my house alone. "I'll come and visit properly tomorrow." When I don't feel so unstable.
Maes made his way to the door. He had his hand on the knob when Ed called after him. "Maes! Get some sleep."
Maes looked over his shoulder at Ed. "I will. You just get yourself better. I'll be fine."
Maes left the room and quickly made his way to the stairwell. He didn't want to bump into Havoc in the halls. How close were those two? It wasn't as if they were a couple, young men like them didn't go down that path.
Maes stepped down once.
Men like them? What was that suppose to mean. When had he started stereotyping people? So what if they didn't act gay, that didn't mean anything.
He went down another step.
Why did being close make them a couple? He was close to Roy and they were not an item.
Another step closer to the bottom and Maes stopped.
Where was the line between close and close? Was it sex? No, that could not be it, not all people who were couples have sex. They could be together for years before they got married and settled down. Then the question still stood, where was the line?
He looked up the stairwell behind him. The line was the intent, the want, the desire to be closer than close. It was when things stopped being about close and started being about being together. What did that even mean?
Did Ed really want to be together with Jean? How did he know the difference between the kinds of relationships?
Don't be silly. You feel it right here.
He remembered a teenage Gracia telling him the difference.
The difference is something you can feel here.
She pointed to her heart in his mind and smiled.
If I was just your friend, it wouldn't hurt so much to let me go. Wanting more means never wanting to let go. You hold that person you love close to y our heart, and pray that they will never be farther away than you can see.
Maes shook his head to break the memory. It was too hard.
Another took its place. Maes though of how he had felt that night in Roy's arms by the door. It was a brief and interrupted embrace but the warmth lingered around him. He also thought about how he had felt when he couldn't find Roy that morning. That sickness in his heart had overwhelmed him.
Did this mean he loved Roy?
Maes smiled and pushed open the stairwell door.
"Of course I love him," he smiled and waved to Blythe and Deirdre at the desk. He slowly opened the doors to the outside. The orange sun warmed his face as it began to hide behind the horizon. "I love him because he is my brother but… why do I hope that he loves me more…"
He frowned and headed for Roy's apartment. Maes had to know where the line was between them. He'd never felt so uncertain in his life.
Roy fiddled with his keys outside the door. They kept overlapping and merging with one another. He leaned heavily against the wall and threw the keys at his front door. "Damn keys, choose a shape or I'll melt you."
His world was spinning, but he could still walk, so he wasn't even half as drunk as he wanted to be. The bar had closed promptly at 1am so he was left to drink the night away in his little apartment.
Roy reached down and gave his keys a menacing look. They quickly came into focus long enough for him to pick the correct one for his door. A stumbling turn and a jerk of the knob saw Roy into his apartment and walking quickly towards his study.
He searched his liquor cabinet but his scotch wasn't present. Misery of this depth could not and would not be sated with whiskey. It needed his prized bottle of scotch he had been saving for when stars fell from the sky and the last woman on earth was a six foot tall miner named Merle.
Maybe it was in the kitchen?
Roy searched his flat while striping, his uniform being too hot to have on. His jacket was left in the hallway, his pant-skirt in the living room. Roy took off his pants in the kitchen and undid the buttons of his shirt in the hall. All this happened during his epic search of course.
He reached his bedroom and paused. His door was closed. Roy never had the doors closed in his apartment. They filled up with smoke too quickly that way.
Someone was in there. Armed with his gloves while looking very intimidating in navy boxers, black socks and an open dress shirt, Roy turned the knob. He slipped into the room with minimal wobbling.
" Roy?" A sleepy voice carried from his bed. It must be a liquor induced dream because that voice sounded a lot like Maes.
"What took you so long," Maes asked as he sat up on the bed. He was in his dress pants and black tee-shirt he always wore underneath.
Roy looked around his room in amazement. The small dresser had a Lieutenant-Colonel jacket draped across it as well as a pant-skirt. This was too real to be a dream. Maes was sitting cross legged on his comforter with the small throw from the living room around his knees. His glasses were on the nightstand… dreams never had those kinds of details.
"Hughes," Roy tried to keep his voice calm but the reality of the situation was sinking in. Maes Hughes was half dressed and on his bed. Holy Fuck. "you… you're here?
"Yeah, I have been for the past… several hours probably. Damn I need my glasses, what time is it?" He reached over and put them on with a yawn. " Roy it's almost 2am! Why are you coming home so late?"
Roy took his gloves off and put them on the small table by his door. He was half afraid to enter the room.
"I had to walk… I can't drive like this," was the only thing Roy could say. Anything remotely eloquent he could have come up with died when Maes stretched and flopped backwards on his bed.
"Well I'm not leaving now. I waited for you all night." Maes was looking at his ceiling now but Roy still couldn't move. His black socks were glued to the floor and his feet were reluctant to leave them behind. "Listen, I think we need to talk… about last night, well yesterday."
Roy sat down in the chair next to his door he used for reading.
" Roy, I can't talk to you from across the room." Maes sat back up and looked at him. It was too dark to see his face but Roy could discern the strain in his voice. "What happened to your uniform..?"
Roy looked down at himself. He watched the moonlight cascade off his bare stomach and sighed. "I took it off. I thought I was here alone…and still wondering why I'm not."
Maes looked out the window. "You said earlier… that I should know before I act. I don't know anything anymore. I feel so confused and lost. I came here because I thought, maybe you know..?"
Roy stood up and walked over to his bed. Maes was too engrossed in his thoughts to notice. Roy spoke slowly, suddenly feeling very brave and sober. "What do you want me to know, Maes?"
He could think clearly but at the same time he must have been drunk out of his mind, because his inhibitions were not stopping him.
Maes whispered to the window. "You said you loved me. I want to know how?"
Roy kneeled on the bed and crawled over to Maes slowly. He put a hand lightly on Maes's shoulder and felt the tension there. In one slow and graceful motion, Roy pushed Maes onto his back and crawled on top of him, without actually touching Maes anywhere but on the shoulder.
Maes's eyes were wide. " Roy, what are you—"
"You wanted to know."
Roy leaned forward and brushed his lips gently against Maes's. He whispered five words against Maes's lips. "I love you like this." Then he passed out on top of Maes.
END
Author's Note: Okay, THIS was one long up hill battle after another to write. It came with very many shallow and not so shallow threats from Silky. She kept using her dragon against me. It wasn't my fault though, honest. Half of my more distracted moments where because of links she wanted me to see. We just won't talk about the other half. ;)
Alright here the part were I tell you to go read silkendreammaid's bit to find out about Ed and Jean always being caught in those… interesting positions.
I was so tempted to leave out that last sentence so you all would think they slept together. Be thankful I'm not as big a demon as Silky claims…lol…
I had A LOT of fun writing this. If you get even half the amount of pleasure I did, I will be happy and you will be thrilled.
Silky wants to post now, so bye!
-Rix "the demon"