Last Time:

I walked back into my room and shut the door. Walking back over to the bed and sat down atop of it. Lying down, I leaned over the edge and reached for the little black book.

Slowly, I opened the book again and began to read the second entry.

December 12, 2003

Okay, kind of a long time has passed. But that's all right. I just got back from school. Break starts next week. My cousin Luanne's coming to spend Christmas with us. So is my aunt Dolly.

We have a concert this week. Tomorrow, actually. The annual concert we have at our school. Every grade up to 7th has to participate. I have a duet! It's with this boy named Mark Kelson. We're singing Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree'. The music director likes the way our voices sound together.

I wish I could be famous someday. A singer is what I want to be. My dad used to be a singer. Country is what he sang. He even had a mullet. That was before I could remember. I think my mom made him cut it off. Even though, he likes to think otherwise.

I hope I don't mess up tomorrow!

I probably will. Gosh! Why does this always happen? It's weird. Like, I get in a weird kind of mood. I start feeling so sad and depressed and I put myself down all the time. I know that I should have more confidence, but I don't. I just wish I was more confident in myself. But that only seems to happen when I try to disguise myself as someone else. But, I doubt I can get far with some sort of secret identity.

Plus, these feelings for a certain someone don't help. Sometimes I get rid of these feelings in a not so 'healthy' way, as I said before.

I'm eleven years old! I shouldn't be having all these feelings! I should be worrying about normal things. Like, school work, school in general, and boys. Not my best girl friend.

But, I guess it doesn't really matter. I've already done it and nobody actually cares. I guess I should've thought about it more. But, I'll just have to live with the scars there to remind me of what I went through. Physically, and emotionally. I didn't put them in obvious places, if you're wondering. I mean, seriously.

I hope everyone would understand if I told them. I doubt it, though; everyone likes to blow things out of proportion.

Jackson's coming.

In case you haven't figured it out…

My name is Miley Ray Stewart and I'm a cutter.

I finished reading the entry and set the book down beside me.

My body felt weird.

Was that really me?

Am I that person?

Did I really write that?

Scars?

I looked down at my hands and over to the bedside table.

Thinking, I stood up from the bed and walked over to the window. Pulling back the curtains, I saw mountains on the horizon; the sun was hovering above them. The clouds were scattered across the sky and made it look darker than it was.

Looking down at what I was wearing, I saw my dark blue trunks went down below my knees; my t-shirt was white with a flowery design covering most of it.

I heard my dad from downstairs telling me to come down for dinner.

Does he know?

I sighed, I had so many questions, but it seemed like I was the only one who could answer them. But, I wasn't even me.

I turned from the beautiful yet depressing sight, and walked downstairs to eat dinner with two people I didn't know.

Two people who didn't even know me.

AN: okay, thank you everyone who reviewed, I have way more stuff to add, but my chapters are always short and updates are far apart. I'm sorry for that, and I'll try to be better about it. My fingers hurt right now, I recieved a guitar for Christmas! lol. Sorry for changing my penname if it confuses anyone! but I need a new change. I'll try to update by next week! Review please!