I don't own any rights to Hollywood Heights storyline or characters; this is the fantasy world I created.

Keeping Secrets Chapter 17

I Can't Stand The Rain

Okay, I deserved that. I hurt him; but he hurt me too. We need to talk about this. We can work this out and get remarried and start over again. I just need to find a way to get through to him. I follow him into the kitchen. "You still love me Eddie, I know you do. I know you like I know my own heartbeat. You're hurting, I get that. I know I'm responsible for the pain you're in. I'm sorry. But you hurt me too, and I forgive you Eddie. I forgive you for having a secret friendship with Chloe for five years. I forgive you for that bullshit goodbye kiss you gave her. Why can't you forgive me?"

I don't bother making tea; I just get the bottle of whiskey out of the cabinet and pour some into my tea cup drinking it down in one gulp.

"Whiskey won't make you feel better Eddie," I say.

"Yeah you should know," I say with animosity. "Maybe I'd feel better if I threw the bottle at your head after I take a few shots," I tell her pouring more whiskey in my tea cup and taking a long drink.

"Do it," I tell him.

I lower the cup, "What?"

"You heard me, do it." I challenge him, "throw the bottle of whiskey at me if it will make you feel better. If you really think throwing that bottle at me will make you feel better, do it," deep down I'm afraid he will throw the bottle at me. "I will stand here and be your target on one condition," my breath catches in my throat, as tears pool in my eyes, "you have to forgive me, I made a mistake; we both made mistakes" I shake my head and gasp for air, "you have to tell me you forgive me and mean it," I suppress a sob, willing myself to stand still. I try as hard as I can to control the tears but a few escape, falling down my cheeks. I quickly wipe them away because like he said, my tears no longer affect him. "Throw the bottle at me Eddie," a sob escapes.

I stare at her in disbelief. She is really telling me to throw the bottle at her. "Did it make you feel better when you threw a bottle of whiskey at me?" I arch an eyebrow, "Or how about when you threw the shot glass at me?" I throw my arms out spilling whiskey on my hand, "I know. You felt better when you threw your cellphone at me then punched me seven times in my face and head. That's when you felt better right?" I take another long drink of whiskey, pick up the bottle and refill my cup. "Sorry babe, I'm not in a forgiving mood," I say walking past her and plopping down on the couch.

"What do I have to do for you to forgive me Eddie? What will it take to prove to you that I'm sorry and I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you?" I ask with my back to him.

I down the last of the whiskey in my cup. The liquid burns as it slides down my throat. "Go stand out in the rain for a while, then I'll forgive you," I tell her. I know I'm being an ass but I'm hurting and I want her to feel as bad as I do. I lean my head back on the couch and close my eyes waiting for the whiskey to numb me. A few minutes later, I hear the cabin door open and close.

Damn it's freezing out here. The minute I opened the door I feel the sting of the cold night air on my skin. I'm standing in the rain in a t-shirt and panties and bare feet so the man I love will forgive me. I know he still loves me, if he didn't then he wouldn't be this mad. Together we can ease each other's pain but he has to be willing to meet me half way. If this is the only way for me to prove my love then I will happily stand here in the freezing rain.

I shake my head. Does she really think I'm going to forgive her just because she's standing out in the rain? How delusional can she be? She only married me because of a challenge? What a wonderful way to say I love you? I chuckle. My mind wonders back to our conversation trying to make since of all this. How did we get here? Oh yeah, it started with my secret five year friendship with the woman who makes my wife insecure then ends with my insecure wife, girlfriend at the time, challenging my ex-fiancée turn friend. "Wow Duran, the women in your life challenged each other for your affections. You should be flattered. Your head should be so big right now," I say to myself. Well I'm not flattered; one is responsible for the death of my mother and the other only married me because of a challenge. After everything we've been through, how could Loren think I would ever cheat on her? I sit up so fast the room spins. How long has she been standing out there? I jump to my feet and run to the door. I throw it open and see Loren is standing there shivering; teeth shattering, lips blue t-shirt soak and wet with no shoes on. I run down the steps and scoop her up in my arms and run back inside slamming the door shut behind me. I walk over to the fireplace and place her on her feet. "What's wrong with you Lo? Why would you stand out there in nothing put a t-shirt and panties? I'm not worth your health."

"You're worth it to me." I say through my chattering teeth. For the first time since I told him I regretted marrying him, Eddie looks at me with love in his eyes. My whole body is numb, I can't feel my toes. I watch as Eddie puts more logs in the fire and runs to the bedroom bringing back several blankets.

"Let's get this wet t-shirt off you," I say pulling the wet shirt over her head, throwing it in the corner. I pull off her wet panties too and throw them in the corner too. I pick up the blankets off the floor and wrap them around her then sit her on the rug in front of the fireplace. I run to the bathroom and grab a towel and go back and towel dry her hair.

If he didn't love me he wouldn't take care of me like this. I know we can get past this. But first I need to get warm. I can't stop my body from shaking. "Thank you," I tell him.

Her body is still shaking and her teeth are still chattering. I can't believe she stood out there that long to gain my forgiveness. "You're welcome," I say sitting behind her wrapping my arms around her. Damn she should be warming up by now. I stand up, put more logs on the fire and then strip off my clothes. I take the last blanket and lay it directly in front of the fireplace. I go back and scoop her up in my arms and lay her down on the blanket. I open the blankets and lay down with her covering us with the blankets. I wrap her in my arms around her and pull her body closer to mine.

"I love you Eddie," I say my teeth still chattering. I feel his heart beat faster.

I don't answer.

After a few minutes, I feel my body start to warm up. My arms and face are plastered to his chest. I can't help myself; I caress his chest with my hands and follow the path with my lips. I can feel his body react. My hands move up to his shoulders and my lips follow. Eddie's arms tighten around me as he caresses my back. My lips move to his neck and I gently bite the spot on his neck just under his jawline. A moan escapes his lips. I roll him over onto his back and climb on top of him straddling his hips. His hands move to my waist pulling me close to him, I feel his excitement for me between my legs. My body reacts to the feel of him. I cup his face with my hands and stare in his eyes lowering my lips to his. His hand travels up my back to the back of my neck pulling me closer to his mouth. I close the distance as my lips connect with his. He bites my bottom lip and I open my mouth allowing his tongue inside. We kiss and caress each other's body until the need to have him inside me becomes painful. Eddie rolls me over onto my back as I wrap my legs around his waist locking my ankles together. I gasp at the feel of him inside me. I miss this. He starts thrusting and I move my hips to match each of his strokes. I cup his face urging him to look at me. I want him to see my love for him in my eyes; feel my love through the beat of my heart; know my desire from the rise and fall of my hips as they match his strokes. I love this man with every fiber of my being. I roll him over so that I'm on top looking down at him. He grabs my hips and pulls me down as he thrusts up. I lean over and he takes my nipple in his mouth. I moan. Eddie quickly finds my spot and concentrates his thrusts there I feel the fire starting to build in the depths of my body. My walls contract as his strokes slide in and out of me. He rolls me back over onto my back. The fire continues to grow as I get closer to my release. I clinch my muscles around him because I know this pushes him over the edge. Together we climax fast and hard. He pulls out, rolls off me and pulls me into his arms, my back to his chest. "I love you Eddie," I tell him once my breathing is back to normal. I wait for him to say it back. After a few minutes, my heart drops to my feet as tears pool in my eyes threatening to spill over. This is the second time he doesn't say it back.

"I love you too Lo," he whispers. I smile and settle into his arms and drift off to sleep.

~jm~