A/N: Well, here I am again. Sorry for the missing update last week. I ran out of chapters already written and last week was a week straight out of hell. First I was sick then I had to go to a funeral. Not the conditions under which writing is possible, at least writing things that make sense. But enough rambling and whining. The chaps is finished, read on. And be so kind to leave a review.

Chapter 8 - Tell Her This

Tell her what was wrong
I sometimes think too much
But say nothing at all
And tell her from this high terrain
I am ready now to fall
- Tell Her This - Del Amitri -

"Well, I'm not quite sure what exactly happened myself. It's all a bit confusing and muddled up. And I know that it was part of our deal that I keep no secrets, except the ones that could endanger the timelines, of course, but here I am, trying to keep something secret." Shadow stopped herself and took a deep breath because she was babbling. And when she didn't want to end up as a sobbing mess, she needed to control her thoughts. Especially the ones that she verbalized.

"It's alright. Just tell me what happened at the prison." Sarah Jane was a bit at a loss for what to do. Shadow wasn't the type to accept comforting of any kind. But she had learned by now that every time Shadow started to babble, her brain was almost in overdrive and all one could do to prevent her brain from shutting down, was to bring it onto one track and keep it there. Focus was needed.

"I was on board the ship and we were nearing the orbit. Then I geared up and double-checked my equipment. Just before I teleported down onto the surface, the pilot got the message that his cash hadn't been transferred. He pulls his gun, I give him a comment and am gone."

"Good. What happened then?" Sarah Jane didn't like the part about the gun and how Shadow had handled it but Shadow was taking after her father in that matter.

"Then I broke in into the building where the Extrapolator was in. Looked up a route there, memorized it flawlessly and then got lost. I really don't know how they managed it to get the corridors moving. That is something that the TARDIS does. She gets you lost for her amusement. But how could that be in a prison? I don't think that at the time of the construction the technology existed to let the corridors move as a security system. So how did they do it?"

"Shadow!" Sarah Jane stopped the word torrent coming from Shadow. She had been going off on a tangent. "I don't care how the corridors were moving. What happened then?"

"What? Oh, sorry. Then, as I was walking down the same corridor for the third time, some guards crossed my way. I tried to hide but they spotted me and I took them out and taped them to a wall. Then I walked further down the corridor but I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Curious as I am, I took a closer look and found a woman standing, or more leaning, casually against the bars of her cell. We talked, made a deal and I let her out."

"You what? You can't just break out prisoners. Bad enough that you broke into a prison. Now you break prisoners out of the prison? What were you thinking?"

"Firstly, it wasn't prisoners, it was prisoner. Singular, one person. And secondly, I was thinking that it might be my only chance to get the Extrapolator and get out of there alive. By the way, the Extrapolator was the Extrapolator of that woman. Anyway, we make our way to the storage room, get the Extrapolator, get locked in by the guards, improvise a bit, bomb, no, smoke our way out and in the end I took her with me because the guards that were after us, were about to shoot us. And that was only the beginning of a series of mistakes I made."

Shadow took another sip from her mug.

"I took her with me when I gave the Extrapolator to Margaret the Slitheen. Have you ever realized how dumb the Slitheen's are? Anyway, after that I took her with me to this time and introduced her to the Torchwood team. Big mistake, that one." Shadow briefly smiled in remembrance. "She could smell Jack's 51st century pheromones and he was making her itch, well, she noticed that there was something weird about him. And well, due to Jack's unique nature of being a fixed point in time, only time sensitive races notice that there is something not quite right about him. And added to that her immunity against his pheromones, led me to question, if she really was as human as she appeared to be, hence I did a complete bio-scan of her."

Sarah Jane really hoped that there would be a bottom line to this. Shadow seemed to be able to ramble just like her father, too. And it wasn't really helping that Shadow spoke very fast.

"Turns out that she has a record on file at Torchwood. Torchwood got that file from an abandoned Teselecta. A Justice Department Vehicle. Remind me to kick their butts out of the solar system, if we ever should encounter one of these. It seems they travel through time and give criminals hell, literal hell. And they are even higher in the food chain than the Time Agency. They remind me a bit of the CIA. Well, I don't mean the Central Intelligence Agency, I mean the Celestial Intervention Agency on Gallifrey. They are even worse than the CIA on Earth. But anyway, that's a story for another time. So, where was I?"

"She was on file at Torchwood." If that was a good thing or not, she couldn't decide. The Captain had said something about a big and unexpected surprise. But was this it?

"Right. So, the scan completes, it beeps and a file pops up. Jack draws his gun, points it at her and I suddenly stand in front of her. Turns out she is one of the most wanted criminals in the universe. And one of the most dangerous." A goofy smile spread across Shadow's face.

"And you brought her here?" Sarah Jane thought that it couldn't get worse. But as she observed Shadow's reactions, she realized that Murphy's Law was at work here. Anything that can get worse will get worse. "And you fell for her." That got Shadow's attention.

"No, yes, maybe. I don't know. It's all very complicated. I don't even really understand it."

"Well, I don't understand it either. But maybe we could cast some light on the situation together." Shadow thought it might be worth a try. After all, Sarah Jane was less rational than her. So Shadow nodded her consent.

"Good. Then let's start with her name."

"River Song." Shadow frowned. "Or Melody Pond."

"Which one? Melody or River? Or don't you know that, too?"

"I know it. She said it's River Song and I believe her. Pond is the name she went by in the past. She is trying to redeem herself for what she did...will do." And time was a pain again. Why did everything have to be so complicated?

"Alright. What's her crime?"

"Murder."

"Just murder?" Shadow nodded. "In my experience, murder alone doesn't qualify you to become the most wanted criminal in the universe. Except... How many people?"

"Just one person."

"Who?" That had to be one really important person.

Shadow sighed. "The Time Lord known as the Doctor."

"Impossible."

"Obviously not."

"And you freed her?" A slightly accusatory tone crept into Sarah Jane's voice.

"I didn't know that then." Shadow defended herself. "And anyway, she doesn't seem to be able to recall that event. She seemed to have accepted the fact. Maybe it's her future."

"Even worse."

Shadow looked at Sarah Jane disbelievingly for a moment. Then something in her ignited and flared up. Her eyes narrowed and a deep, wolfish growl escaped her throat.

"Do not talk about her like that. Sometimes people can't choose what they have to do. Sometimes everything goes smoothly and sometimes the universe throws abysmal problems at you. And when faced with a decision over life and death of a loved one, sometimes you have to choose death to gain life. A bargain with the devil is something that can sometimes work for you, instead of it being used against you." The air around Shadow seemed to bristle with power. "And remember this: Never judge someone by actions committed in the past or in the future. Judge them by actions committed in the present." With that said, everything around Shadow returned to normal, leaving no trace of what had happened mere moments ago.

Sarah Jane sat in her chair, slightly intimidated and taken aback by the display of power from Shadow. Looking over at Shadow it looked as if she, too, had no clue about what had just happened.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have judged her without knowing her." Sarah Jane smiled faintly. "You must really have it bad."

"Maybe. But it doesn't matter anymore; I left her to her own devices."

"You did what? Are you insane?" Sarah Jane couldn't believe it. First, Shadow had a violent reaction because she thought the girl to be misjudged and then she just leaves her, although she obviously cared a great deal about her.

"You know how it is. Insanity runs in the family." A short lived one-sided smile crossed her face.

"Yeah. But I still don't get, why Jack called me and said it might be a little later that you'd be here." It was one of these situation in which you want and also don't want to know what happened or what was going on.

"Well, River and I left together at Torchwood yesterday. Jack probably thinks that we...well, um...that we hit the sheets."

"Oh...and did you?" Definitely a situation she usually didn't want to know what happened but asked anyway because she cared.

A deep sigh. "Yes. And it was amazing. Totally mind-blowing." Sarah Jane held up a hand and stopped Shadow before she could delve into to much detail.

"I really don't want to know. But you know that if you go by human law it would've been statutory rape. You're still just 17."

"Well, I think it's time to come clean about that one." Shadow gulped down the rest of her tea. "I'm not 17 anymore. I'm 26."

"What? How?" It seemed to be a day for surprises.

"I was swallowed by the Rift and transported somewhere, where I would have rather not been. And I really don't want to talk about."

"How did you get back? And when did this happen anyway?" Concern was evident in Sarah Jane's voice.

"You remember the week when I suddenly disappeared and then reappeared and you said that I had changed but I refused to talk about where I had been?"

"Yes."

"That's when. And I got back on the same way as I got in. It was as if it was some kind of mission. It was definitely weird." Shadow tried to discourage Sarah Jane from inquiring further.

"Alright. But what do you think is going t happen to River now?"

"I don't know. I hope she doesn't come looking for me."

"Why? Would it really be that bad, if she were to pursue you?"

"I'm not really someone anyone would really want to be romantically involved with. I hope for her that she takes it as a one-time thing and moves on."

"And what if she doesn't? What if she does want to be involved with you? What should I do, if she were to appear here and wants to talk to you?" Sarah Jane didn't want Shadow to make the same mistake like her just because she was afraid. There was a lot Shadow seemed to have inherited from her father. The commitment issues seemed to be amongst the lot.

"I don't know. You're the one that writes stories. You'll think of something to dissuade her from wanting to talk to me."

"I'm a journalist. I write about facts, not fiction."

"Except you're writing about fiction." Shadow cut in, earning a glare from Sarah Jane.

"But still, do you want me to say you're here or what? Do you want to talk to her? I think you owe her that much, after taking off in the middle of the night."

"I didn't take off in the middle of the night. And who said that I did take off at all?" One look was enough to make Shadow cave. "Okay I did take off. But it was in the morning, not the middle of the night."

"You should probably tell her, why you did take off in the first place."

"You think? I don't even know why I did that."

"Maybe you were scared."

"I'm not scared of anything."

"Then maybe it's time. Maybe you're scared of being hurt. Maybe you're scared of hurting someone else."

"No. I'm not scared." Shadow tried more to convince herself than anyone else.

"Then what should I tell her?"

"Tell her, I emigrated to Raxacoricofallapatorius. And I left no forwarding address. But it wasn't her, it was me." With that, Shadow stood up brought her mug to the sink. "And now I'm going to bed. And I don't want to be disturbed, except World War Three broke out. Good Night." Shadow left the kitchen and made her way upstairs and into her bed, being almost instantly asleep.

Downstairs, fairly concerned, sat Sarah Jane. She didn't know the full story, of that she was sure. Shadow was definitely hiding something. Probably it was something that voice of hers had said to her that had upset her so much. She took a look at the clock on the wall. It was around noon.

She got up and brought her own mug to the sink. Then went to the living room, maybe she could read a bit.

She had just sat down with her book and gotten comfortable, as the phone rang. She got up grumbling slightly and took the call.

"Yeah."

"Whoa, Miss Smith, what did Shadow do to make you that grumpy?"

"Sorry, Captain. What have I done to deserve a second call today from Torchwood?"

"Well, you will get a visitor later."

"Oh, what's her name? River?"

"Yes. How did you...?"

"Shadow told me. Sort of. She was miserable and I made her tell me. And anyway, I suspected that she would be wrong in believing that no one would want to be romantically involved with her."

"Oh, commitment issues. The Doctor will get a big surprise once he finds out. Anyhow, I just wanted to give you the heads up, not that Shadow decides to make a run for it."

"She told me that I should say she emigrated to Raxacoricofallapatorius with no forwarding address. So, thank you. Was that all?"

"Yes, that was all. Goodbye."

"Bye."

That could get interesting. Sarah Jane was in no way inclined to let Shadow get away with not facing her fears and not talking to River.