A/N: Well, here we are again. About four month later than I initially expected. But this chapter was really mean to me. And now I've decided to be mean to it and now it can be frustrating elsewhere. I've already started on the next chapter and if that doesn't throw a tantrum it will be finished soon. As soon as possible for I've got another project right now. But more to that at the end. Now enjoy the chapter and please review.

A/N2: I'm aware that I'm using something in this chapter that is here not what it is in real life. And I've got no rights to it either. It, too, belongs to its rightful owners. Just wanted to say it to be on the safe side.

Chapter 11 – Anything, Please Forgive Me

I'm a fire
Burning like a house aflame
I am motionless
I cannot move
I only see you fly
- Anything – Clement & Murray -

Still feels like our best times are together
Feels like the first touch
Still getting closer baby
Can't get close enough
- Please Forgive Me – Bryan Adams -

When Sarah Jane realized that the atmosphere in her living room was quickly becoming inappropriate for children, she grabbed Rani and Clyde and dragged them to the front door.

"I've got an idea. Let's go out." Sarah Jane's proposition was met with skeptic looks from the other two. "I'm paying." That changed the situation. Now their looks where enthusiastic and they almost bolted out the door. Sarah Jane followed them and, with a last glance in the direction of the living room, closed the door behind her.

Inside the living room, things indeed where heating up but not to the point Sarah Jane had expected them to. It might not have looked like it but Shadow as well as River had still some self-control. They were definitely not going to jump each other just because the physical attraction between them was almost unbearable. And Shadow would most definitely not have sex in the living room of the woman who provided her with food and shelter and could kick her out without a moment's notice.

So they stopped before they were beyond the point of no return.

"How is it possible for you to be in my mind?" River asked after she had gotten her breath back a bit.

"Actually that's another thing that should be added to the list of things that I'll explain later." When River shot Shadow a glare, she continued. "But I'll explain it to you now. I'm right to assume that you shut your mind from incoming psychic things?"

River frowned. "Yes. But how do you..."

"I can...feel it. I do the same. But there is one sort of telepathy that slips past these defenses. That's low-level telepathy." River just stared at her blankly. "Well, I call it that, the official name for it is reduced-frequency alpha waves."

"The TARDIS has a low-level telepathic field. Is that why she can enter the minds of people inside it?"

"Yes, I believe it is. But if you really want it, you would be able to throw the TARDIS out of your mind. But anyway, I don't think we're here to discuss scientific things. Come on." And with that Shadow grabbed River's hand and half-dragged her up the stairs and into her room.

"Nice room." River commented. "But compared to mine, it's a bit smaller."

"Yeah, but I've got four solid walls, you only three." Shadow smirked playfully.

"But mine is a bit cleaner." River said after briefly glancing around the room and noticing that it was quite cluttered.

"Oi! I like it that way. It's chaos with a system. And anyway, I don't think you have enough stuff that you can clutter your room with."

"Ey, that's not fair." Shadow's smirked and tilted her head.

"Don't mock my room and I won't mock yours."

River moved over to the only place that wasn't cluttered, the bookshelf on the far side, and Shadow closed the door with an audible thud. Then she walked over to River coming to stand on her left side, watching her every move.

"I see you like books." River said, still studying the titles.

"I don't like books, I love books. The others always poke fun at me because of it. Just because I once yelled at Clyde for throwing a book across a room." River was now looking directly at Shadow.

"You were absolutely right to yell at him. Books shouldn't be treated that way. They deserve respect and protection." Shadow also took her eyes from the books and looked at River. Their eyes locked and they lost themselves into each other.

Slowly Shadow took River's hand again and led her to the bed at the opposite side of the room, never breaking eye contact.

Shadow still couldn't quite believe it was possible that River was here because she wanted to be with her despite all the things speaking against it. River was theoretically cheating on the Doctor, Shadow's father. That fact alone made this whole thing majorly weird because River was her step-mother, of sorts. But that all didn't matter to them right now. Right now, all that mattered to them was each other.

Shadow tentatively reached out and slowly pulled River atop of her. The air around them was charged with tender emotions. It was a stark contrast to what had been their first 'encounter'.

Then...

...the air was charged with unresolved tension. It was like a bubble of methane coming up to the water surface, which was ablaze with burning oil, ready to be consumed by sweet oblivion. By the time they had made it to the bed, they had already lost their clothes and their hands had been roaming over each other in a frenzy. Almost as soon as they had hit the mattress, Shadow had made it unmistakably clear that she was leading this dance.

Now...

...Shadow surrendered to River and made it clear that she accepted whatever would be between them. Asking with tentative touches for River to understand the urgency of the situation but to also take it slow, to keep it tender.

River understood and responded with a deep look into Shadow's eyes, with which she tried to convey all her feelings for Shadow. To make her understand that this thing between them was not just a spur of the moment thing but would last forever, if Shadow would let it.

Shadow's answer to this unspoken question was to pull River into an affectionate kiss to give her her word that she wouldn't run from it ever again.

After what seemed like an eternity and a half they had to come up for air and River initiated their bliss by slowly pulling Shadow's shirt off.

Shadow's hands weren't idle either. She pulled off River's silvery-gray vest and got started on her trousers when River took her hands and pinned them down left and right from Shadow's head. Therewith signaling to Shadow to relax and enjoy.

River then progressed to memorize every inch of Shadow she could reach. Slowly building the pleasure, intent on making Shadow reach highs she has never reached before. And if Shadow's squirming was any indication, then River was doing things just right.

Afterwards they both were completely spent but happy. Cuddled up to each other, Shadow had her head resting atop River's shoulder, one arm thrown across her stomach. The sun was starting to make its descent on the horizon.

A light chuckle stirred River from her doziness. She questioningly looked down at Shadow.

"I'm...I'm happy. That's all." Shadow smiled up at River. "But there's still one thing that I'd like to know." She continued, frowning.

"What's that?"

"Don't get me wrong but really... Why? Why did my dad marry you?" Shadow rested her chin on her folded arms. "Alright you're brilliant and absolutely wow. But he still has severe commitment issues. They are part of his general MO."

"I don't know. He just did."

Shadow seemed to struggle with what she wanted to say next.

"What is it?" River prodded.

"Would you mind...I mean could I...no, no, forget it."

"What? Come on, tell me." River sat up causing the blanket that had lain over them to slide down. Shadow shortly stared and then closed her eyes.

"Not helping." Shadow mumbled.

"Oh." And River pulled the blanket around her. "But what is it you want to ask me?"

"I'll probably be absolutely out of line with it. But I wanted to ask, if you'd perhaps be willing to...let me see the marriage with my dad."

"What? Why?" River was slightly confused because she could not see a reason for Shadow to want to know about it.

"Why am I out of line with my request or why am I asking?"

"Both?" River replied, a little unsure, if she really wanted to know the answer.

Shadow sighed and then sat up herself, pulling the other side of the blanket around her in the process. "It's private. You don't ask things like that. It really isn't any of my business." Looking down and drawing a breath. "And as for why." She looked up again. "I just don't understand it. It's something that I really want to know because it bugs me that I don't understand his motive. Yeah, I know, not everybody has an ulterior motive. But most people do and definitely him. And I'm ranting, sorry."

"No, it's alright. But how would you do it? I mean you can't just step in my head, or?"

"Well, basically that's exactly what I would do." Because of River's slightly shocked look Shadow elaborated. "Not physically, of course. I would make a connection, a bridge, between our minds and you would put the memory to the forefront of your mind and I would watch it. Like a movie, in a manner of speaking."

River seemed to think about that for a moment before finally coming to a decision. "Alright. Do it."

"What?" Shadow exclaimed, her voice rising one or two octaves.

"You heard me. I'll show you."

"But...why?" Shadow was confounded. She had expected anything but that.

"If I were in your position, I'd probably wanted to know why he broke with his MO, too. And maybe, afterwards, you'll tell me why I shouldn't be worried about my marriage with the Doctor. No, I didn't forget. And I still want to know why you were surprised back at Stormcage." River clarified, matter-of-factly.

"You sure?" She had to know. "It will be something extremely private."

"Yes, I am sure." River stressed every syllable.

"Well, when you're sure." River nodded. "Then I will do it. Just let me..." Shadow reached over the edge of the bed and grabbed her t-shirt from the floor and put it on.

"Spoilsport." River muttered under her breath.

"I just don't want you to get distracted." Shadow smirked. River really began to see different smirks for different situations. Shadow then sat in front of River, whilst River securely tucked the blanket around herself. When she was finished, she looked expectantly at Shadow.

"What now?" She asked.

"Now you just pull the memory of the marriage to the forefront of your mind, so that I don't see anything else. Just completely concentrate on the memory. Nod, when you're ready." Shadow instructed and then went to also focus her mind, as to not let River see what was in her mind. And then she waited for River's affirmation.

When she finally nodded, Shadow leaned in a bit. "Come here." She told the woman opposite her, whilst she raised her hands and laid them on River's face, positioning her fingers.

At first Shadow didn't see anything clearly. Come on, focus. You can do it, my dear. After that the pictures became clearer, although they were still a little blurry. Shadow assumed that River had just been a bit teared up at the time. The Doctor was with the back to her and a machine of some kind, probably a transmitter, was between them. To the right she knew were River's parents.

The Doctor seemed to struggle with something. But then got a determined posture. "Amy, uncuff me now."

The redheaded woman, most likely Amy stepped forward and went to take the handcuffs off of him.

Then, as if a switch was flipped in him, the Doctor turned around, his usual bubbly self. He looks young this time around. And a bow tie? Really?

"I need a strip of cloth, about a foot long, anything will do. Never mind." He grinned and pulled off his bow tie. Getting serious again after that. "River, take one end of this." Moving forward towards the Doctor. "Wrap it around your hand and hold it out to me."

The vision angle was alternating between the Doctor and her hands, wrapping the piece of cloth around her right hand. "What am I doing?" River asked.

"As you're told." That seemed harsh. "Now, we're in the middle of a combat zone, so we'll have to do the quick version." The vision was still fixed on the piece of cloth that she wrapped around her hand. "Captain Williams, say 'I consent and gladly give.'"

She looked up at the Doctor. "To what?" Captain Williams asked.

"Just say it!" The Doctor was distressed. "Please." He added a bit softer.

Looking over at the two persons standing on the other side of the machine. "I consent and gladly give." Captain Williams said, unsure and visibly confused.

"Need you to say it, too..." And then adding as if he couldn't actually believe he was saying it. "...mother of the bride."

Shadow retreated from River's mind at this point. She had seen enough. Dropping her hands into her lap, she saw River looking expectantly at her.

Shadow desperately tried to keep a straight face but really couldn't. Pretty soon small giggles escaped her. River looked offended. "I'm sorry. Really, I am. Just...just..." Another fit of giggles burst forward. "Okay..." Shadow drew a deep breath. And cleared her throat. "Remember when I said that the Doctor always has an ulterior motive?"

River nodded.

"Well..." Shadow tried to come up with a way to explain what she knew in a way that didn't make River go after the Doctor for lying to her. "Are you familiar with the Pyr-galaxy?"

"Not that I'm aware of. But what has that to do with anything?"

Shadow heaved a sigh. "In the Pyr-galaxy is a star-system called Pyram. In this is an inhabitable planet called Pyrus and its sun Pyrix. On the planet Pyrus the marriage ceremonies are quite like the one the Doctor did."

"But...?" River knew there had to be a catch.

"But...it takes someone from this planet that is authorized to perform this kind of ceremony to make that a valid marriage."

"And the Doctor couldn't have acquired the authorization?"

"Nope. You have to be Pyrusian for that. And everyone knows the Doctor is not."

"So basically you're saying that my marriage with the Doctor was never a marriage at all."

"Don't punch me but yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. And anyway, the marriage was in an aborted timeline, in a world that never was...so it never happened."

"But I can remember it." River tried to argue.

"That doesn't make it valid." Shadow shook her head. Silence fell upon them, each immersed in their own musings.

"I was surprised because I didn't expect my decoy to be a stable as it seemed after we were discovered. I thought they had called the troops back. And I half expected hundreds of guards to be blocking the corridors. It was a pleasant surprise but I was still a bit wary of it." Shadow quietly spoke up after some minutes, keeping her gaze fixed on the blanket in front of her. River listened intently.

"Thank you for telling me." River smiled. And silence descended upon them again.

A/N: Well, and now for my other project. Right now I'm in the process of co-writing an article with "TheTV-Junkie" about "The Potter 'Bad Boy Phenomenon'". We are trying to illuminate the reasons why the smutty fics with BDSM elements are the most liked and most read ones. So, if you're interested, head over to The TV-Junkie and read it. Or just follow this link: http: / / www. fanfiction. net /s /7985014 /1 /The_bPotter_b_bBad_b_bBoy_b_bPhenomenon_b (copy&paste, kick out the spacings)