C is for Caroling

"What the hell," was Santana's deadpan reaction as the chorus of voices rose still louder outside their apartment door, and she slowly lifted her hands towards her ears, covering them, even as she spoke with increasing volume herself. "Is someone being scalded out there?"

"I think that must be people…singing? Or attempting to?" Kurt responded, his eyes shifting uneasily towards the door, and he flinched too at a particularly painful high note that was not at all in tune. Grimacing automatically, he looked back at Santana's hunched form at the counter, where she was bent over with her hands still covering her ears, as he half shouted to be heard over the noise outside the door and her own blocked ears. "I think it must be carolers…I had no idea people literally did that in New York City!"

"Get a pan of hot water and throw it on them," was Santana's immediate decision as she barely looked up towards him, also nearly shouting back at him in reply. "What the hell, people, this is New York, we don't do friendly gestures of good will around here, this is a friggin' assault! Unless…Rachel, tell me you didn't invite this crew! Tell me this isn't a group of your vocally delusional drama pals or worse yet, the newbies in New Directions coming up to spread some Christmas fear!"

"No, no, I didn't ask anyone over, although now that you mention it, Santana, it WOULD be very nice if the Glee club from Lima could-" Rachel began to muse, the distress that had been tightly etched across her face at the painful singing outside the door fading as she began to muse aloud, but Santana almost immediately shut her down.

"You didn't invite them? Great. Because either way I was getting rid of them, and you'll be pouting less about it if they're not your friends."

Stalking towards the door, still covering her ears with both hands, she threw it open and began to holler over the cheerfully dressed, earnestly "singing" group, hands still clamped over her ears. "HEY TONE DEAF TRIO, YOU'RE TRESPASSING ON THE ONE TIME OF THE DAY I DON'T HAVE TO HEAR RACHEL BERRY TRILLING ALL OVER THE HOUSE AND YOU'RE RAPIDLY SHREDDING MY EARDRUMS ALONG WITH MY SANITY!"

"Santana!" Kurt exclaimed, but he wasn't too loud about it; he wanted them to go as much as she did, though his preferred way to ask them to go would have been more tactful. Exhaling, he came up behind Santana in the doorway and gave the now-quiet and somewhat taken aback group a small, embarrassed smile, even as he covered Santana's hands with his, dragged them off of her ears, and pulled her back out of the doorway a little. "Sorry, guys, she's a little cranky without her coffee… or…always…but um, we really would appreciate if you could continue on to another apartment, or…building…thank you, but,"

"Wait, Kurt, Santana," Rachel piped up from behind them both, and as both her roommates turned their heads, looking back towards her, she moved past them into the carolers' view, smiling at them. "There is no need to be so rude, nor so hasty. They are simply showing the spirit of the season, and although I myself am Jewish, I am still unopposed to any activities that show good will and good cheer and of course, musical talent."

"MUSICAL TALENT?! Would you ever pair that particular phrase with THIS crew?!" Santana exclaimed, gesturing pointedly towards the hapless group before them, and as Kurt attempted both to give her a reproving look and to hide his own instinctive smirk, Rachel shook her head at her, admonishing.

"Santana, there is no need to be so rude. They were…well, they were doing their best, and I'm sure with some careful guidance, much practice, and considerably less sharp notes…well…perhaps if you all sang at a much softer volume, and had a leader to sort of…well…compliment and embellish your voices…in fact…"

And then Rachel disappeared for a few moments, leaving her roommates still standing with the seemingly dumbfounded carolers in the doorway. Santana was already reaching for the doorknob, ready to shut the door in their faces, when she reemerged wearing her heavy coat and earmuffs, gloves in hand, Santana's and Kurt's coats draped over one arm. She threw them both their clothing items so they had no choice but to catch them, then linked her arms through both of theirs as she attempted to propel them forward.

"We'll join you," she announced brightly, smiling first at the carolers, then at Kurt and Santana. "You see, the three of us are very musically experienced, in fact we have won Nationals in our Glee club, and I am a rising Broadway star while Kurt here attends NYADA, and Santana is currently drifting musically but she is also quite talented and will undoubtedly find her niche soon. We will join you and improve your efforts dramatically."

"Rachel…what are you doing?" Kurt hissed under his breath even as Rachel dragged them both forward, with surprising strength and determination. Santana's protest was more adamant as she attempted to dig in her heels, not even bothering to lower her voice.

"What the hell, Berry, there is no way I'm joining the rejects from the old geezer choir auditions. No way, what the hell is wrong with you, you not only can't send them the hell away, you JOIN THEM?!"

"Look at it like this, guys," Rachel insisted sotto voce, still pulling them forward, smiling even as she spoke out the corner of her mouth. "Everyone will look at and hear us, and they will all become very familiar with our talent. People talk, word spreads, networking…it could happen. The more people who are aware of our talent, the better chances of our eventual success there will be. This is free advertising and frankly I'm disappointed I didn't think of it myself."

And on that note, her roommates couldn't argue, and it was with no less enthusiasm but less grumbling, even on Santana's part, that they continued on their way.