Effin notebook

Effin notebook,

I don't know how in the world they made me keep you or what the hell I was thinking when I accepted doing so. I don't even know why! The only thing I know is that I am stuck writing a stupid journal because of sensei that says I am in need for coming in touch with my inner world and thus understanding my own surprisingly perplexed feelings. One word my friend: bullshit. I mean who knows me better than I know me? Huh? Sensei…pffft. When did he become an expert in such stuff and at what point did he get interested in psychology and since when does he go all Freud with me? And to think Anis is the one to blame. If I am not mistaken sensei's exact words after one of our fights were: «I believe that the actual term for what is going on with you two is sexual frustration.». And why should I be sexually frustrated anyway? It's not that I like her or something, no, not at all. Okay, maybe I do but she won't get it even if I tell her. I just want to hit something right now or bite or destroy in general…She wouldn't get it if I put a huge neon sign on my forehead saying 'I have fucking fallen for you'! Maybe that's too long…what about 'me likey you!' sounds retarded and simple but, come on, what has the best chances of her understanding? And what I did yesterday was beyond stupid. To say the truth I expected her to slam my head on the wall. And after the mall things were so awkward between us that I swear I got on the verge of letting a bunch of cars run over me…but it did got better when it was time for her to home. Heck yeah I had forgotten the rest of my clothes in her room-those that had got wet last night-. So it went a little like this:

Seiran promised to wait for Kaede at the entrance of the apartments' block. It was easy. He just had to go straight in and straight out. It would be done in sooner than two minutes. He climbed the stairs with her leading the way, allowing some space between them. No one dared to speak a word until they got into the apartment.

'Errm…I guess my clothes should be in the bathroom.' he rubbed the back of his head nervously.

'Y-yeah.' she stuttered.

He rushed in, leaving her alone in the bedroom. He scanned the area for the items and upon locating them, threw them into the bag Seiran had given him this morning. Why was his heart racing, why did his breathing come out so sharp and why was he getting all too fidgety about being there? He opened the door…

She was waiting for him to finish and come out. She was biting her nails, it had gotten pretty bad, and her thumb had even started bleeding a bit. Why was she anxious or rather about what? Her stomach felt empty but it wasn't due to hunger, it was a strange sensation that made her palms sweaty. When she heard the click of the door her heart skipped a beat and only then she realized she hadn't moved an inch and released a breath she didn't even notice she was holding.

He stood there for a while just looking at her but she was too busy gazing the oh-so interesting floor to notice that.

'I found what I wanted to sooo…I'll be going now.' He turned to leave slowly in the hopes she would at least say bye.

'Kaede wait…I just wanted to say that I am glad you stayed yesterday.' she looked away.

'Are you trying to say thank you?' He eyed her raising a brow and grinning.

She cleared her throat 'Well yes I do…thank you..' she frowned a little.

'In that case you are welcome…'he smiled 'After all I promised to always be there for you.' He tilted his head, observing her better, awaiting her reaction at those words, the words of a promise that he came so close to breaking once before.

She faced him, biting her lower lip a bit hard. 'Yeah, after all we are friends, right?'

'Mhhm…friends' he found the word hard to roll on his tongue.

She smiled softly.

'Tomorrow I am going to pass by to get our nails done…' he poked her forehead with his index finger.

'Hey don't do that!'she whined touching where he hit her.

'Or else?' he he pretended to be frightened.

'Oh you don't want to know…' she said in a threatening voice with a slight playful tint in it.

'Says who?' and with that he repeated what he did before.

'Oh…you asked for it…' she crackled her fingers, trying to look scary.

'You are so stupid some times…no…all of the times.' He chuckled getting a grip on the hand she was sending at his spined her around, her back at his chest.

'I'll show you stupid!' she stepped on his foot hard enough for him to let go.

'Ouch!Now that was low…' he frowned.

'Ha! You're a jerk!' she crossed her arms.

'So what?You gonna whip me?' he teased.

'Sparring ain't my thing but in you case I'll try!' she scowled at him.

'You are silly.'

'And you're an idiot, can we stop pointing out the obvious now?' she sighed.

'No, I want revenge…' he shrugged.

'Wha…!' before she knew it he had picked her up throwing her over his shoulder.

He let out an evil laugh.'You gonna pay for what you said to me?'

'Put me down you fool! I will kick you!' she desperately moved, but nothing happened.

'There isn't really much you can do.' he laughed devilishly once more and she couldn't help chuckling along with him.

'So…now what? You gonna leave me up here for how long exactly?' she murmured.

'I was planning on ruling the world but…probably Seiran's waiting for me so, what about doing it another day? Are you free on Wednesday?' he let her down, a fake questioning look on his eyes.

She landed a punch on his was a bit that? He could see her cheeks burning with a cute pinkish shade.

'What the hell was that for?' his voice a bit louder than before.

'Because…' she snapped still embarrassed.

'You my little Lady need some serious help…' he raised both his brows, shaking his head.

'Shut up Kae-baka!' she didn't even look up saying those words.

He sighed in defeat.
'Sorry if I said something that got you upset.' He whispered pulling her in a little embrace. His smell so tones, wood and something warm like cinnamon and other ones she couldn't identify, his scent brought in mind rainy days and was just so manly…Just like the morning she couldn't help but take a deep breath before she pushed him softly away.

'It's okay…'she whispered.

'Bye Anis.'he smiled a little walking towards the door.

'Bye…'she answered as he left.

Flashbacks…oh dear flashbacks…seriously I wouldn't put so much «her heart raced»and «his breathing…hula, hula» or that kind of stuff if I were the storyteller…but I am not and this thing is doomed to become cheesy…Good job! And about «we are friends right? » why does every girl use that lame line the whole time? In movies in books…everywhere! It gets on my nerves, Anis hellooo I do not want to be just your friend! Dammit, she is right, I have anger management issues, but only when it comes to her that is…I still don't get why she got angry when I said that thing about world domination…Women…

Why do I feel like a wimpy kid? ...Oh, yeah because I am writing in my diary. Sparkle -sparkles fairy dust…Am I overdoing it a little? Nah, who cares?

And for crying out loud things go from bad to worse. I mean I get tenser every single day, sometimes at the point I can't stand seeing anyone else near her! I don't know, there are times that I want her only for myself and others I want to honestly strangle her. Well almost because at the same time I find it incredibly sexy when she gets mad at me. It's just hard to lie to myself and, yeah, the day that I won't be able to keep it under control and that I will kiss the crap out of her is ever approaching. She drives me nuts!

I wrote more than I promised my self I would…Why am I even writing something like this in here? Whatever, it is not like someone is going to find out about this and I sincerely doubt this thing is bound to be of any use. Anyway ain't gonna write ever again, ever…I think…

Anis was lying on her bed trying to relax. Why was she feeling so damn tired the whole time lately? She had even done her homework today, and she felt proud of herself being able to do it all in only two hours. Then she watched T.V. trying to pull her mind away from the stupid thought of that stupid thing that stupid Kaede told her. Maybe she was overusing the word stupid but it just came to her. She couldn't even take her usual nap because of him and now she was stuck looking at the ceiling of her apartment.

I am so pathetic…it's not like he meant it that way…Why did I overreact so much? She buried her face at the pillow she was hugging. He didn't even think of it that way when he said it…I just couldn't help getting embarrassed when he did…Stop Anis, stop, stop, stop…she was hitting the side of her head in an effort to get him out of her head. He was just being playful…dammit girl it's not like he purposely asked you on a date…I mean think this over, he said he wanted to rule the world…She sighed…I am an idiot…

'Why do such things happen to me the whole time? And why did my sick mind took a little joke and twisted it in something so ridiculous?Why would he ask me out? And I need to stop talking to myself some time!'
Now that I think about it I am a freaking psycho…It's flipping obvious that we annoy the hell out of each other…I mean put us in a room alone and then get prepared to witness the clash of titans-not the movie-. But we are…ff…frrr…friends. It's fine…he is stupid but we accept our ff…frrr…oh screw it…the thing I said before, the way they are…But why won't I forget it? It's not like I would want him to ask me seriously out…Pffft why would I anyway? Hmph…Get out of my head, get out get out… she moved her head as if she was trying to get water out of her ear.
Tomorrow was the beginning of a long week.

So guys I am back!I had a great time going on vacation.I returned just yesterday and tried to be fast with this chapter^^Hope you don't mind me being one day late*puppy face*.Now that was long, was it a bad move making this from Kaedes POV?I know I made Anis a bit…just a bit paranoid but for the plot's sake…*shrugs*…it was imperative…Again thank you so much for the faves=)I checked my mails and I was like 'wow I was away just for 10 days…'.Let me know what you think. See ya next chaptaO.O

Love

Q.VO.O