Chapter Nineteen

"This was a bad idea," Zane said as he stepped in front of me and pushed me toward the tree line. I tried shoving his arm away just because I hated when he thought he could control my movements.

"We need to find them," I whispered. I glimpsed at Zane's grave face. Red started leaking into his eye color. I watched in amazement as the bright blue of his eyes turned blood red. His emotions became veiled and only anger filtered through. It was the only time I'd ever been able to feel his emotions. The connection was still fogged, and I could barely feel the anger. Maybe since he opened his emotions to me earlier, he couldn't block them as effectively.

"My human, you need to stay with me. If we ever split up you need to hide somewhere no one can find you. Do you understand?" His voice was rushed and serious.

"Yes," I answered. My palm was suddenly being opened. Zane roughly placed a knife in my hand. His hand pressed my fingers around the knife.

"It is imperative for you to do whatever is necessary to protect your life," Zane stated. I could feel the intensity of what he said through his eyes. He was ready for this fight. His back turned on me.

"Zane, wait!" I voiced. He glanced over his shoulder at me. His lips were pressed into a thin line. I took a deep breath.

"Just…don't do anything stupid," I said. He actually smiled at me and snatched my hand with his. He tugged me forward with him. We ducked behind a house.

"I need you to stay here for a couple of seconds," Zane demanded. I wasn't happy about it, but I couldn't do anything about it since he hadn't waited for my response. I coughed as smoke made its way into my lungs. Tears started forming in my burning eyes. I panicked when I realized Zane had suddenly disappeared. I wasn't going to wait for him. Who did he think he was telling me to wait there? I slowly peaked around the corner.

Silver gleamed in the night. The knife quickly slid across the vulnerable neck. Zane was behind The Court of Shadow's guard. Zane's hand covered the guard's mouth. Knees fell to the ground. The smoke clouded my vision. The guard was still alive, and I knew what was going to happen next. Zane wasn't going to let the guard slip into the Hold and live. Zane wasn't the type to let his enemies live. Mercy was a word unknown to him, so I turned my head. I've seen enough decapitations.

My head was sharply turned. Zane held my chin with his pointer finger and thumb. The pressure made me wince.

"You choose not to listen to me. That angers me. Listening to me will keep you alive. Do you understand?" he asked with authority. I didn't answer him. I was not a computer that he could program. I acted on my own accord.

"Well, do you?" Zane asked roughly. I nodded my head agreeing. I didn't agree.

"The Prince is here," Zane said. My heart speed.

"Which one?" I asked hoping it was Cain, the nice one.

"Sebastian," Zane answered as he led me around a corner. A guard let out a small gurgle as his throat was slit. Zane dropped the guard uncaringly.

"I would love to kill all of these guards, but it seems that time is wasting away. We have to find everyone," Zane commented as he left the guard still living on the dirt ground. I never felt the need to kill someone. Never. But in that moment, with my friends in danger, I wanted to rip The Court of Shadows apart.

The night basked in flames. Panic settled deep in my chest and fought to break free. I needed to keep calm. A woman's scream split through the crackling sound of the fire. I stiffened at Zane's side. Just around the corner was the cabin everyone lived in. I knew they wouldn't be there, but we had to check. We had to be sure.

"My baby!" The cry of desperation plagued my mind with sorrow. It was a mother's sob. It was a whimper of loss, a high pitch wail that meant the death of a child. My heart clenched. The fire was spreading inside of me. It lit my veins with anger and retaliation. Someone was going to die for this, and Sebastian was the revenge of my choosing.

We turned the corner to chaos. A wolf over six feet jumped past me. The sleek black fur would blend into the night but because of the flames it wasn't as camouflaged. Three girls stood in a circle and held hands. I remembered the blonde girl from when I hit her with an egg a while ago due to my poor skills. I had meant to hit Dean and Allan.

"What-" I began, but Zane answered before I finished the question.

"Witches," he explained. I glanced at them in wonder. This place that Ash started was strictly for refuge. If Sebastian was here for me, was this all my fault? I wanted to throw up thinking about it.

The crying woman leaned over her dead child. Blood soaked her hands like a parting gift. It was the last warmth she would receive from her child. Behind my eyes I felt a prickling sensation, the formation of tears. I knew that brown hair. I knew that dead figure that lay dead in his mother's lap. I felt like sinking to my knees in defeat.

"Allan!" I screamed, and I abandoned the safe spot Zane and I were standing in. I joined the chaos of the flame filled night. I chocked on the smoke filled air.

"My human!" I heard Zane's furious voice, but I kept running. For once, Zane lost control of the situation. I could make out the sound of a struggle behind me. Zane was probably in another fight. Just before I made it to Allan, I slid in the sticky grass. My cheek slipped onto the blood soaked ground. The taste of metal stung my bottom lip. Blood. I didn't care. I didn't care at all. I pushed myself up onto my bloody hands in fury and started crawling the remaining three feet to Allan's body. A shot rang out.

The cry of the mother suddenly ceased existing. I replaced it with my own shriek of terror. The mother buckled over. Blood seeped through her white shirt and painted a picture of death. I pushed her brown hair out of her face. Brown irises focused on me. I think she was asking me something. I saw the life drain from her eyes.

"Allan, Allan, Allan," I whispered as I moved from the mother and onto her child. Allan's unresponsive blue eyes glanced up into the smoky sky. I ran my shaking hand over his cold twelve year old cheek and pressed my other hand against his chest. His heart remained still. Lifeless. Dead. Gone. He was gone. The world wasn't fair.

"No, no, no!" I shouted as I shook his body hoping he would wake up.

"Blair, just the girl I was looking for." My head slowly turned away from Allan's lifeless gaze and wondered to the man that had done this. Prince Sebastian. I would laugh when the light drained from his eyes. I would laugh and laugh and laugh.

"Your mistake," I said as I got to my numb feet. I held the knife in my hand like Zane had taught me. Sebastian's demeaning laugh only made me smile. Confidence could lead to mistakes.

"Blair!" I heard Dax's hysterical voice scream out in worry. Sebastian's attention wandered to Dax, and I had no choice. I threw my knife. I wasn't surprised when the knife dug into Sebastian's stomach. Torture came up behind him and slightly slashed the back of his neck. Sebastian stumbled. A few of the Court of Shadow's guards noticed what had happened, but they were in fights of their own. Torture's foot came up and crashed down on Sebastian's stomach. Traces of blood leaked down his mouth from the blow as he fell to the ground. Smoke fled my lungs, and I fell to my knees in a cough fit.

Someone roughly grabbed my shoulders and pulled me from the ground. My legs were almost slack and barely held my weight. It was a guard. His fingers dug forcibly into the muscles in my shoulders. I couldn't see his face since he was behind me. An arm wrapped around my neck and a blade met the exposed skin of my throat. My eyes started to tear from the smoke. I coughed and tried to catch my breath. My arm moved up to grip his arm. My nails dug into his flesh.

I heard a knife entering flesh right behind my ear. Warm liquid spewed onto the side of my neck, but it wasn't my blood. The arm around my neck went slack. The knife scratched the surface of my skin on my throat as the guard fell limply to the ground. The cut wasn't at all deep, but it burned.

"Beautiful." Dax's normally positive voice was soaked with grief. He had just saved my life. Dax was helping me stand. I glanced toward Torture who was taking care of Sebastian.

"No! Don't kill him!" I screamed. Dax's hold tightened on me. I glimpsed over at Dax. It was the first time I ever saw his eyes red. Torture's foot dug into Sebastian's stomach as he held the prince down on his back. Torture's eyes were stained red as he looked in my direction.

"Beautiful-"

"I want to. I want to kill him," I whispered seriously. My fingers itched for a knife. I wanted to avenge Allan's death. I wanted to feel a sense of peace wash over me. I wanted to kill him. I stepped forward and Dax followed me.

"Blair, listen to me," Dax started. He wasn't able to finish whatever it was he was going to say. Familiar hands tore me from Dax's hold. The bond sent an electrical current through my body. I suddenly felt secure.

"What did you say?" Zane's voice was muddled with irritation. I stared into his red eyes with certainty.

"I. Want. To. Kill. Him," I repeated. I glimpsed over at Torture who seemed surprised by my outburst.

"You are not a killer." Zane glared past my green eyes. It was like he was looking at me. He wasn't looking at what I was, but he was looking at who I was.

"You are a fighter, but there is no way you are a killer," Zane strictly told me as he ran a hand down my cheek that was smeared with blood.

"Do it, Torture." I furiously glimpsed over Zane's should to watch Torture, but I was turned away. I grunted in annoyance and punched Zane in the chest. It was the first time I wanted to see someone die. The first time I wanted to watch the light fade from someone's eyes. The first time I wanted to witness the wrath of death, and I was denied. Zane had turned my prying eyes away.

"It's already done, my human." I thought I would feel relieved when he died. I thought I'd feel inner peace. It only made me feel emptier.

"Zane, you should go hide her. Torture, War, and I can easily get the remaining guards to leave. It shouldn't be hard since their leader is dead," Dax suggested. Blood trickled lightly down my neck from the small cut from the knife.

"Dean," I said as I grabbed onto Dax's sleeve. Zane was holding my weak body up. I kept on coughing. Tears streamed down my face in an endless flow. The smoke burned my eyes.

"I will look for him and-"

"Keep him with you. I want to talk to him when you find him," I demanded tiredly. Dax nodded his head. His blond hair was sprinkled with ashes.

"We are leaving," Zane started to pull me away from the group.

"No. I need to help." I tried pushing off of his body, but I only stumbled over my feet.

"My human, you are in no condition to help. There's too much smoke for you. There's nothing more you can do." Zane tried to reason with me.

"No! You always do this! Why don't you just listen to me!" I pushed against his hard chest, but his hands that murdered people kept a firm grip on my slim waist. My hand reached up and slapped him across the face. Zane went statue still. I was breathing hard. My breath caught in my throat, and I coughed. His hands caught my hands. His red eyes glared at me.

"Everything I do is to keep you safe! Sometimes I have to do things you don't like!" Zane yelled back at me. I couldn't believe he snapped at me so violently. Usually he was calm and in control. He never raised his voice.

Without him supporting my waist and my body, I fell to my knees. I was too weak to stand.

"Do you understand what I do for you?" Zane spoke lowly. He still held my hands while I was on my knees. He started to pull me up, but a knife slashed at him from behind. That was the guard's mistake. Zane was too good of a fighter. Zane turned around furiously and lashed out at the guard in one easy strike. The guard fell over decapitated. Zane was in an angry mood. He roughly picked my body up and tossed me in his arms. We headed toward the lake and left the burning village behind. I knew Dax and everyone could handle themselves. The Court of Shadow guards had been scurrying off.

The smoke started to clear away. The fresh oxygen felt nice as it entered my lungs. The night dimmed to its normal lighting without the fire. Zane set me down when we reached the beach surround by the forest. The cold sand dug into my sensitive skin. Zane's arm wove around my shoulders.

I was beyond thankful that Revenge hadn't been there. He was safe. I was relieved. There was a hollowness inside of me that was hard to get a grip on. I couldn't understand it. I felt purposeless. I couldn't even protect my friends, and I was the one bringing them danger. What kind of sick joke was that? Allan's drained blue eyes were etched into my memory. My shoulders slumped.

Zane stiffened beside me. I was going to ask what the problem was, but he slapped a hand over my mouth. Two seconds later, I was in his arms again. It was clear that he didn't want me to speak, so I didn't. When he began to wade into to the lake I became especially confused. Freezing water brushed against my bloody and dirt covered body. It was nice, washing away the bad. If only the water could cleanse my mind too.

A drop of water hit the surface of the lake. Seconds later the sky opened up and rain fell in huge drops from the sky. Salvation from the fire. I grew suspicious when Zane moved under the dock. My eyebrows moved together in confusion. I almost spoke, but Zane's red blue eyes stopped me. He held his pointer finger to his lips in the quiet gesture. From under the dock, I couldn't see anything because of the rain. It ricocheted off of the surface of the lake and clouded the area around us.

Voices murmured close by. I completely froze. Zane's eyes looked into mine intently. His hard chest pressed against my body as his hands held me up by pushing my stomach against him. My brown hair was matted down and stuck to my forehead. His silver hair was in the same condition. My arms were wrapped around his neck and my legs around his waist. It kept me above water. Electricity ran up my spin. Mine. I thought simply, even though I had told myself many times before it wasn't true. But just maybe it was true. I couldn't stop staring into his red and bright blue eyes.

"You told me that you saw her here," a female voice said. I knew that voice all too well. Princess Kalia. I resisted the urge to shiver. Footsteps fell on the wooden boards above us. I stared into Zane's eyes willing us not to get caught. Do you understand what I do for you? Zane had asked me earlier.

Here we stood, under a dock in the middle of a lake. The princess of The Court of Radiance was looking for us, which only meant that she was allying with The Court of Shadows. She was almost right above us. The rain and dock were our only shields for our hiding place.

"Lying to me is never a good idea," the princess said to who I assumed was a guard.

"Princess, I can assure you that I-" The voice was cut off. A chocking gurgling sound came from above us. I heard a sword cut through flesh once again. More death. I wondered if the grim reaper followed me around just for fun. Just to see me suffer.

"Let's move on! If any one of you lies to me, you will receive proper consequences. She stomped loudly as she walked off of the dock. It made her have a more dominant way about her.

The pain of everything hit a couple of minutes after she left. The water around us had turned red. It was the blood from the guard that she had killed minutes ago. My grip around the back of Zane's neck tightened. It made his grip on me tighten too. Do you understand what I do for you? Zane had asked me earlier. He was always there, bond or no bond. I decided that I no longer cared. It didn't matter if it was the bond or not, because we would always have the bond. Zane was holding me above the death water we hid in. Not once had he given up on me. There were times when I thought he might have, but he never did. He was safe in a dangerous way, but my life wasn't completely secure. It made sense in that way.

"I understand you," I whispered. The first tear fell and joined the death water surrounding me. The emptiness inside of me began to fill. Sorrow, regret, death, sadness, dreams, everything constricted my heart. I gasped as I let out a chocked sob. My life was a puzzle, and I felt like pieces were always going missing.

"Do you trust me?" he whispered against my neck and into my ear. I thought about him. I trusted that he would always make his decisions based on my well-being. That didn't mean that I had to like his decisions, or that I agreed with them. It meant that I may argue with him because sometimes I held my well-being under other people's well-being.

"Yes," I answered sure. Then he kissed me. I wasn't like our other kisses. This one was slower, more understanding. It sent my heart racing and an alarming current through me. The emptiness seemed to leak from me. His lips on mine felt stable in an unstable way. It was as if he could hold me until forever, but there would always be someone trying to knock me down. It was safe in a dangerous way. I knew that this meant something more than our other kisses. It was a seal that said we had finally agreed on this, and that was dangerous.

We broke apart. Tears gathered in my eyes. The sadness in me couldn't be helped. I needed to cry. I rested my head on his chest as we sat under the dock. I shivered. It was a little chilly. It was the second time I thought about the same word that day. Pressed against his chest, his hand running down my soaking hair, I thought about the word love. Because maybe, just maybe, I loved him.

Hello! So I hope all of you who have been asking for some more Zane time enjoyed this chapter! This really was a sad chapter to write though! There's only one chapter of this story left, but I have the beginnings of a plot for the sequel started! :D I'm really excited to expand the court conflicts aspect of the plot in the next story!

****THANK YOU TO ALL MY AMAZING REVIEWERS****

Alerts and Favorites also make my day : ) Thanks!

xoxDarkFallenAngelxox - Hello :) Well! I hope you did like this chapter then because there was some more Zane/Blair time. I love Zane's character too, and I feel like Blair finally realized that certain parts of his personality she doesn't like are there just because he wants to keep her safe. Thank you for your review!

LoveThat- haha! I think you and me have the exact same main problem! I like your description on Zane! Zane is more at a loss with human emotions... in his line of work it's easy to lose a connection to them. Ahaha! I'll put in a good word with Revenge :D Thank you for reviewing!

Forever-Buckskin- Thank you :) Ahaha Zane does have a lot of faults in his personality. Reacting violently to make his point is one of those haha. Rant all you want! I understand! I hope you enjoy them while they last :) I will have a sequel out though! Thank you for reviewing.

solangedrake - Hello! Haha, Blair's a little confused about who she loves too :D so it's okay to be confused about it! Thank you for your review!

Selene- Hi there! Haha! Revenge is a little more fragile because of his sickness... but his emotions are more fragile too I suppose! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter since it had a lot of Zane in it! Thanks for reviewing!

vampiresrule- Aww! I'm so glad that you've enjoyed it so much and that you think it's one of the best! I bet you liked this chapter since there was a lot of one on one Zane/Blair time! Thank you so much for reading and taking some time to send me a review! I really appreciate it!

DJShayShayxx- Hello there! :) ahaha! I thought you'd like that last chapter since it involved the kiss :D Blair really did need to see her family! How do you feel about Zane after this chapter? Still the same? Zane did want to leave the gang... in a way it was only to protect Blair, but it was selfish in a way since Blair wanted to go help! Anyway, as always, thank you for your review! :)

blargablargameh- Ahaha! I loved your little Revenge cheer review! It made me smile. Thanks for giving one! :)

Minelis D' Salvatore- Well thank you :) I understood everything. Your english is very good! If you love Zane I think you loved this chapter since it had him in it so much! Blair also had some insight about Zane too. Thank you for your review!

District7TE- Hello! haha! I go back and forth about the her being with Revenge or Zane allll of the time! I mean, I do already have the ending to this book and the sequel figured out, so I do know who she does end up with! haha. But in my mind, I think about changing it sometimes. Thank you for mentioning my grandma and for your review :)

Hana15498- Hey there! haha! Well I am so glad that you gave it a chance! I tried to make it as original as I could. The world I created around this story is just so interesting to me and I can't wait to expand on it in the sequel! :D haha Thank you for taking the time to read and review!

immafungirl- haha! I think that after this chapter you can confirm that Zane suspicion! Thank you for your review!

***Have a great rest of your week!***