N is for Nutcracker
"That ballet would be so much better if they would cut out like, the entire first act," Santana commented, not even bothering to stifle her yawn behind her hand from where she was curled up, blanket wrapped around both her and Dani on the couch. "Come on, guys, can't we fast forward to the good stuff?"
"And miss Baryshnikov in his tights?" Kurt asked in disbelief, immediately shaking his head. He was seated on the far end of the same couch, Rachel in between him and Santana, the four of them a tight squeeze, but it was two days before Christmas, nearly midnight, and it was cold outside, so none minded the close quarters. "Are you out of your mind?"
"No, just sick of seeing his junk…and the rat heads are disgusting, I see enough of those walking to work and in the apartment hallway," was Santana's remark, accompanied by yet another eye roll, as she nestled her head against Dani's shoulder, wrapping her arm more securely around her girlfriend's waist. "Do we have to watch them prancing around on TV too?"
"I thought you like dance, babe," Dani reminded her, dropping a soft kiss on her forehead and stroking back her hair. "In fact, I thought you wanted to BE in the Nutcracker next year if possible, isn't that what you said?"
"No," Santana muttered unconvincingly, even as Rachel flapped her hand, shushing them all.
"Shhhh, it's about to be at the part where the Prince and Clara dance privately!"
"Ohhhhh, okay, let's all quiet down so the 30 year old dude dancing around with his dick poking out can seduce the 12 year old girl who had an orgasm over getting a doll for Christmas five minutes ago, we wouldn't want to miss that great romance," Santana replied, eyebrows raised.
Dani snorted, even as both Kurt and Rachel glared in her direction, and Rachel snapped back at them both.
"Santana, you just want to fast forward to the girls in skimpy leotards dancing because you're hoping to see nipples through their leotards. Let me dash your hopes now, if you haven't already noticed, most of the girls have an extremely low body mass index and therefore their breasts are extremely small, also most of the costumes are not at all revealing, and they are appropriately clad so exactly such an incident will not occur and embarrass them in front of mass audiences. Dani, you may not find her so amusing were you to realize that she simply wishes to gawk at other females rather than a very fit and attractive male."
"I'm not too worried, Rachel," Dani replied mildly, giving Santana a light squeeze, even as Santana exhaled, disappointed.
"Seriously? Then what's the point of even watching?"
"Enjoyment, entertainment, and in my case at least, stimulating experience?" Kurt put in, as Rachel added, "It is a traditional holiday viewing, and as you, Kurt, and I are all involved in and interested in ballet, surely you can appreciate it for the excellent talent displayed in it, perhaps even model yourself after some of the great classical dancers of last century, if you were to simply pay attention."
Santana, however, simply rolled her eyes up to the ceiling and sighed all over again.