S is for Santa
"You know, if you think about it, the idea of Santa Claus is totally insane," Santana mused from where she sat back on the couch, sipping the hot chocolate in her hand as she watched Rachel playing the glass Santa Claus ornament on their Christmas tree. Technically, she too was supposed to be helping her and Kurt decorate, but after a few ornaments and half-hearted efforts at helping Kurt untangle the lights, she had sat back down, declaring herself to be "supervising," to Rachel's disgruntlement. "Like, forget all the crap about how impossible it is that he'd be in like ten million houses at once in a single second, and the idea of having height-challenged people like Berry work as slaves all year round. But when you think about it, some old, fat guy in an ugly suit perving up on little kids, asking them to sit on his lap and tell them their wishes and fantasies…I mean, who came up with that, Pedophile of the Year?"
"Santana, really," Kurt rolled his eyes, glancing over his shoulder at her as he continued to struggle with the lights. "It's innocent, and it's fun. And if you talk about it like that it will give me creepy images in my head every time I pass one of the bellringers on the street corner that I'm really not okay with having up there. Can you actually make yourself useful here and help me with these?"
"Innocent, whatever," Santana rolled her eyes right back, pointedly ignoring his request for help as she took another sip of her drink. "Wait until you get a boner up your candy cane tights before you tell me about it being innocent."
"Actually, the original tale of Santa Claus was rather intimidating, Kurt," Rachel piped up brightly as she carefully arranged another ornament on a branch. "He was rather different in appearance than the jolly obese man we know of now, and he had a companion named Black Peter who would carry a whip and physically harm the children he perceived to be naughty-"
"See?" Santana pointed towards Kurt, laughing aloud. "I knew it! Kinky S&M Santa…you ever seen any pics?"
"Well, as the tale is older than the invention of the camera-" Rachel began, even as Kurt blinked, taken aback by this information.
"And there goes that last shred of innocence he was clinging on to," Santana observed, smirking.
"Should we tell him about Santa's strangely close relationship with his reindeer?"
"Santana!"
"What? I gotta supervise his education along with his tree decorating…by the way, you totally missed a spot there, and those two ornaments put together clash…"