T is for Toys

"I swear, kids get all the good stuff now, and none of them even PLAY with toys," Santana commented as she picked up a Bratzilla doll in one hand and a Monster High in the other from the toy store's doll aisle, eyebrows raised as she nodded her interest and approval down towards the items in her hands. "Look at this, how friggin' awesome are those things?"

"They probably would have given me nightmares as a kid," Kurt responded as he narrowed his own eyes critically towards the dolls Santana was holding out for them to view, subtly wrinkling his nose and tapping the Monster High box. "Look at this, Santana, this doll is literally skin and bone. No, actually, it has no skin, because it is literally a skeleton. Its body is literally made of bones, and yet for some reason it's still wearing makeup and fashionable clothes. That is just frightening."

"Bony body with makeup and fashionable clothes, jeez, doesn't sound familiar or anything, does it?" Santana shot back, smirking towards him as she pointedly looked him up and down. "It's awesome and you probably would have played with it hiding under your bed when you were a kid. Or maybe just in your closet?" she laughed at her own joke, though it could have easily been applied to herself as well, as Kurt pointed out.

"Spend much time in your own closet playing with GI Joes- or, excuse me, were naked Barbie dolls more along your style?"

"Hey, naked Barbies were educational," Santana grinned back at him, not denying his accusation at all as she put the dolls back on the shelf almost reluctantly. "No Ken doll needed, the guy didn't have a dick to work with anyway. Not even Earring Magic Ken- who I bet was YOUR favorite."

"I may have had a mint in the box edition," Kurt admitted, his cheeks reddening slightly, as Rachel, having been listening to the exchanges back and forth, spoke up intently.

"I quite agree with Kurt, Santana, those dolls which you are admiring are simply not suitable for children or even for preteen or adolescent girls, nor are Barbie dolls. They are so unhealthily thin they are quite literally bones, and yet they are presented as attractive and fashionable. They are simply not suitable Christmas gifts for any child, nor gifts at any time of the year, because they present a very unhealthy view of how the female body should look, particularly in regards to weight. No child can look such a way and certainly no woman without being quite seriously unwell, and children do not understand this at their limited levels of understanding and comprehension and may become quite mentally unwell attempting to meet this challenge that doll makers are unconsciously setting for them. The affect is very clear in yourself, Santana, you stated that you played with naked Barbie dolls, who are well known for their slender hips and their large breasts, and you yourself received breast implants when you were only sixteen, which is only a few years past the age of playing with dolls. Clearly you were rather influenced unconsciously by the very toys which played such a large and important part of your childhood."

Both Kurt and Santana stared at Rachel, blinking, before Kurt burst out laughing; Santana tried to glare at her, but her lips were twitching too, and she seemed to be finding it hard not to laugh as well.

"Berry, are you seriously telling me I got a boob job because I played with BARBIE DOLLS too much?!"

"It quite possibly had a large impact on your decision unconsciously, yes," Rachel nodded calmly, even as she selected a Barbie doll styling head in its box and held it towards Kurt. "Kurt has stated previously that he enjoyed playing with these as a child as well, and he certainly became quite good with hair and makeup as he grew older, as a result. The same with the Kaboodles and the sewing kits he utilized as a child. What you practice with as a child shapes you as an adult and young person."

Kurt and Santana exchanged incredulous looks at each other, not quite believing what she was asserting, before Santana, eyebrows raised high, asked, "Okayyy then, Berry, what did YOU play with as a little kid? Gold star stickers?"

"Well, I did enjoy those, yes," was Rachel's reply, coupled with a shrug. "However, other than sleeping on occasion with stuffed animals, I didn't really play with toys, per se. I was considerably more active engaging in extracurricular activities and lessons, all which were very helpful to shape and polish my talents. I did enjoy my karaoke machine and my toy microphone, and as you can see, I certainly was influenced by that."

"You didn't play with TOYS?" Kurt blurted, his mouth open in a round O of near horror, and Santana exhaled, rolling her eyes skyward.

"Why am I not at all surprised?"

"What did you ask Santa for on Christmas?" Kurt asked, still appearing to find it difficult to wrap his mind around this, as Santana, apparently having lost interest in the conversation, began to examine other Monster High dolls nearby.

"Well, as I was Jewish, I did not believe in the myth of Santa Claus, so this was not a problem for me," Rachel explained, shrugging. "But my dad was Christian even if Daddy wasn't, so I did celebrate Christmas as well. I simply asked my dad for what I wanted. Usually it would be music or trips to musical events of some kind, occasionally I might ask for warm clothing."

The horrified looks on her roommates' faces left her frowning, confused. "What? I was a very practical child…which of course carried to this present day through my selection of toys and the good choices I made towards them. See how that works?"