Chapter twelve

Naruto took the job of getting breakfast while Kakashi got some time alone. He took the time to shower languidly, lazily, enjoying the warmth and peace that it brought to stand under the showerhead. He leaned against the tiles, basked in the contrasting feel, the tiles were cold against his skin and the water was soon steaming hot. Ever since he was young he'd enjoyed taking showers, bathing, anything with water in it, because that meant he'd get some solitude without people asking him to do stuff, or go find a missing cat...

He awoke from his reverie when he heard Naruto getting back, closing the door behind him with a constructed thud. He dried himself off, put on some casual clothes, nothing too suspicious and eye-catching, just regular pants and a sweater, stopped in front of the mirror, saw a tired face, the two-day old scruff making his cheeks become tinted with silver, he ran a hand across it, he knew he should shave but he saved it for the next day, now he wanted to eat more than anything. He'd already put a hand on the door knob when he remembered that he didn't have his mask on. He stood still for a while, making a decision. He heard the rustle from the plastic bag, knew that Naruto was dividing the food between them, what's the worst that's gonna happen? That he'll stare at me? He'd stood undecided long enough so with a deep breath he opened the door and suppressed the nervousness he felt.

Just as he'd suspected Naruto was already eating, he nodded towards the untouched boxes on the table, "I bought you saury, you like that, right sens-" A massive intake of air followed, and then he started coughing violently. "You- you actually...!" and then he coughed again. Kakashi ventured forward, not sure if he should be intervening. "Easy, easy." He sat down, still focused on Narutos reddened face.

"You nearly killed me, sensei."

"I noticed. I'm sorry, maybe I should have warned you."

Naruto looked at him, disbelieving. Kakashi figured it would take a while before he stopped, so he started on the food, glad to be able to savor it, something he hadn't done the last couple of days. Naruto cocked his head to the side, to be able to better discern just what kind of face he was looking at and Kakashi couldn't help the blush that crept up on his cheeks. It was unsettling to be so closely examined, so intensely inquired about. From a lifetime of looking at other people's faces he knew that there was nothing particularly special about his own, it was a face among the others. Of course he'd gotten the occasional compliment but it was nothing he held close to his heart. Some thought he looked good while some undoubtedly did not.

"Naruto," he said, and it might have sounded sharper than he'd thought because the other man looked a little guilty.

"Hm?"

"Please stop staring."

He sighed glumly but did as he'd been told, every now and then peeking over his food to run his eyes over whatever caught his gaze first. Kakashi didn't get what was so interesting, he wasn't especially beautiful, not like the one sitting across from him, who was simply striking. The previous mission, their "reunion mission", the first in three years, had gone smoothly and Kakashi had had a lot of time to look at his former student. Perhaps more accurately, he had made time to look at him, because he wanted to, because not looking at him would be going against every grain in his being.

It had been a week ago now since they had taken off for a short mission in the neighboring country. Naruto, Kakashi, Hayama and Tekuno had been assigned the task of breaking up a border skirmish that had been stirring and threatened to ultimately reach Konoha. During the years away Kakashi hadn't seen Naruto more than a few times and he'd been overwhelmed with how much he'd grown and matured, especially in working with a team. His usual carefree smile was still been in place, but it had more depth to it, as if he'd found out just how dire a smile could be at times. He'd grown tall, wiry, knowledgeable and still not blunt. Kakashi adored the way he dove into his duties with an unrivaled determination, so clear on his duties and what repercussions they could have. The only downside Kakashi could see was that he might be working a little too much. Not that he could actually chide him for it, not since he was doing the exact same thing. Though probably not for the same reason he was.

They'd gotten to the little town in the afternoon after half a days travel. The battle had started over a young girl being killed in what looked like an accident, but there was no way to make sure since the witnesses, however many they were, weren't talking and in the lack of outspoken, provable truth the unsightly rumors had started spreading with a speed that was unsettling in itself. Their work was like that of a crime scene investigator, start at the beginning, see what clues they could gather and what was the most probable cause. They talked to the ones involved, carefully weighing facts against each other on a scale made of gold and insincere intentions. They went through the archives from the scene of the crime, talked to the village's leaders, did everything they could to shine light on the incident and when they thought they'd reached a conclusion they tried to get the parts together.

This time it seemed it had simply been an accident, a little girl had fallen down a slope, hit her head and met her end much too soon. Kakashi hated these kinds of things, reminding him all too clearly of what he'd lost himself, or perhaps more accurately, he was reminded of what he'd had and what he could never get back. Perhaps it hurt more to know what he could've had. As with everything it was not knowing that was hurting him the most.

They'd gathered a meeting with the villager's leaders and talked through what they had found. Konoha, in its position as one of the positively biggest countries sometimes interfered and acted as a judge of some sort to the other countries. Not to say that people actually enjoyed it but everyone knew that Konoha didn't want another war in their backyard and so they kept their mouths shut. Perhaps a snarled word behind their backs every now and then, but nothing they couldn't handle. Kakashi had heard more curses at home than all together out in the field. The emotions during the meeting had risen high and grown feverish in no amount of time at all, people were still making claims as to what was right and probable when a farmer, the little girl's father had suddenly drawn his kunai (which he should have been relieved of before the meeting, someone had been slacking off) and, aiming for the accused, he slung the knife through the air with wanton, hateful accuracy. Before anyone had had time to react Naruto was on his feet, grabbed his arm to steer the knife off its intended course and after watching it land in the wall, some distance away from the skull it would have been buried in, he turned to the other man and let go of his arm.

"If I would have been in your shoes, I would have done the exact same thing. But this isn't helping in the long run."

The other man snarled, looking much like a wild bear on a cliff, waiting to be pushed off but taking his executioner with him as well.

"What the hell do you know? Huh!? You come here from Konoha-" (he spat the word out with such a scorn that Kakashi wanted to lower his gaze in disgust at his heritage) "You come here from your cozy little village with your goddamn morale and come here to teach us that we can't have justice? You run half the world down with you in the shit over something we don't have control over, you kill and you kill and you kill, and then you have the fucking nerve to come here and tell me that I can't have this mans head, that my little girl died for nothing, that the one who killed her can walk free while she's never coming back? Is that what you're saying?"

Kakashi felt Narutos aura like a tight clenching fist, all the words that he wanted to say built up until it resonated in his entire being and yet he didn't say it, because he knew he was right, that maybe Naruto wasn't the one with the honor of righteousness on his side, that maybe no one could have it on their side at all in the first place, but he still had to say something, couldn't be quiet when someones life clearly was one the line.

"We've looked at all the evidence, talked to all those who were involved, and it truly looks like it was an accident. That doesn't mean it's not unfair and twisted and simply cruel, but I can't have you killing people because of your need to extract revenge on something that you can't have revenge on."

He wouldn't take the word 'fate' in his mouth, Kakashi realized. Maybe because he didn't know what it was, how it affected him, if he allowed such a thing into his life at all.

"She's no longer with us, you slinging a kunai in the boy isn't going to change that."

The man tried pushing past him but Naruto wouldn't have that, he was immobile in every sense of the word. If he said stay he would stay, until the dawn came crashing down and time itself gave up, because that was who he was. The man seemed to sense it too, that he was dealing with something as eternal as a mountainside, something as never ending as a snowfall when you're cold, that this man wouldn't move.

"Kakashi," someone said from further away, Hayama and Tekuno was shielding the boy, about to bring him outside, away from the upset father and Hayama asked "Kakashi, aren't you coming?" and he froze in place between what he should and what he felt.

"I'll be right there. You go ahead." Hayama gave him a weird look but didn't say anything, respected his evaluation or perhaps didn't want to start an argument in the middle of a room, he was experienced enough to know just how dangerous it could be not to obey. The two nin left with the younger man in front of them, pushing him forward and out through the door. Kakashi stayed right where he was, with Naruto and the rest of the delegates that were all still sitting down, looking unsure of whether to leave or continue on or if these strange Konoha nin perhaps had more to add.

Naruto was speaking lowly now, his voice too dark or soft to follow and Kakashi wished he could hear him, hear those words that came from such a place within him that he could speak them without thinking, like his fingers moving over a blade that had long since become a part of him.

"Naruto..." he said, wishing he'd hear that breathed waft of questioning that he felt when he said it, and he turned around, he'd heard, looked at him. Kakashi looked at the door, just a second, but his meaning came across and Naruto escorted the other man out through a door that led into another direction than one that had just been used. Kakashi turned to the rest of the room, explained how they perceived the situation, and there it was again, the more or less open annoyance with the fact that Konoha was acting high and mighty in a place outside their own borders, but he could see it in their looks that they weren't going to opppose with their conclusion, their verdict. Not when the ones carrying int out were so apparently well-trained and had such a watchful look about them. After finishing and asking for questions but getting none he declared the meeting over and went out to the corridor to check up on Naruto.

The man was gone, Naruto was standing in the hallway, waiting for him, Kakashi, and he met up with him.

"I guess you didn't part on the best of terms?"

Naruto shook his head. "Not really. I don't think he's going to be throwing knives anytime soon though."

He wanted to ask him what he'd said but didn't, remembered his status and the fact that he was not a person but first and foremost the leader and his sensei goddamn it Kakashi keep yourself in check. They started on their walk back to camp, when Naruto asked how the meeting had gone. Kakashi sighed, relayed the sour attitude in the room, and neither one of them were surprised. Konoha wasn't on the best of therms with its smaller neighbors.

"Better than coming here with an armed force when it's already too late" Naruto said and Kakashi nodded, knew too well how quickly corpses stacked up on the streets of what used to be peaceful villages.

"Hayama and Tekuno went with the boy, right?"

He nodded again, "probably making sure he's alright. Poor kid, getting mixed up in this only because he was the one who found her."

Naruto didn't answer ,looked away from him, his gaze tripping over a field as a deer dancing across a meadow and Kakashi assumed he wasn't going to answer, his brain flooded with meanings of other sentences that hadn't been formed and never said.

"He'll live," he said finally and there was something in his voice that told Kakashi that his not many years had taken a toll, that they weighed heavily on his shoulders. It felt strange to be near him again, and Kakashi started fearing that it was more than just enjoying seeing his student again, he'd met Sakura many times from the last war and it had never felt like this. Not like this. He was suddenly aware of how Narutos clothes clung to him, he was rounder in them, filled them out with muscles and his movements were those of a big dog that had yet to become aware of the fact that his paws were just paws and the regulations that came with them. Kakashi looked at him, looked away, felt the sun burn on his skin, felt its rays trying to burn their way through his skull without mercy or maybe it was his consciousness waking up from a sleep that had lasted a little too long.

When they finally reached the camp the sun had begun to set, giving up on him and his thoughts that were so devoid of regulations. They ate their dinner, left some for their comrades that were late getting back, Kakashi looked at everything else except the figure on the other side of the fire they had made, was too absorbed in his garbled mind to realize that the fish was scorching hot and had to turn around and spit it out to keep from more blisters forming. Naruto showed up next to him.

"Kakashi, what happened? Are you okay? W-was it that bad? I'm not very good at cooking yet, I'm-"

Kakashi cleared his throat, tried to scrape some of his dignity back together, and Naruto thought that it was his cooking's fault...!

"Oh no, the fish was great I just forgot that it was hot."

"Oh." Naruto seemed relieved. "...are you okay?" he repeated.

"Yes, I'm fine. I got some blisters though, haha."

He scratched his cheek with a finger to seem nonplussed but mostly to check that the mask was still in place. He was jumpy about taking it off for reasons he didn't know, or more accurately didn't want to know about. He only took it off with people he trusted intimately, and Naruto was not one of them. He felt even worse at the thought. Kakashi took a new piece and this time waited a little longer than necessary to make sure he wouldn't burn his tongue again.

Some time later the other two showed up, looking content.

"How did it go?" he asked and moved over so that they could sit down next to the fire too.

Hayama reached for a piece of fish after that Naruto had handed him a plate and took a bite before he replied "It went relatively good, all things considered. Neither of use has any stab wounds so I'll take it as a success." Tekuno chimed in; "We talked about this on the way over and I still think we should take turns keeping his place under surveillance, to make sure he stays unharmed." Kakashi nodded, in agreement to their plan.

Hayama said: "We can take the first guard, we have knowledge of the neighborhood and know its twists an turns. You guys get some sleep."

This was a subtle hint at their individual strengths, Kakashi and Naruto was very useful in a fight, while the other two thought of themselves as more strategical. True, they were both older than him, but he had high trust in them.

They had all brought their own tent and Kakashi went into his, grateful for getting the later half of the deal. He liked being up early, when everyone else was asleep. He made himself as comfortable as possible, on the stony ground. He'd managed to put his sleeping bag directly on a flat outstretched rock, but he was too tired to move it, so content on finally being able to lie down that he simply decided to live with it.

He didn't know here he was, just that he hadn't been there before, it was a forest of some sort, with warm grass under his feet and he was chasing someone his legs screaming from the joy of being pushed to their limit and he ran, sprinted on the firm ground, his lungs burned but it was the good kind of hurt, the one he loved, and way ahead of him he saw the person, and he ran.

Breathless, he caught up.

A gust of cold air flushed over him and he awoke abruptly.

"Kakashi, it's 3:30 am. Time to get up."

He sat up, acutely aware of the awkward state he was in.

Tekuno was tactful enough to pretend he hadn't seen anything and went back to the still burning fire, leaving him to deal with his business in whatever way he would. A dreadful picture of dead kittens had his least logical part settling down. He took a few minutes to calm down, un-tousle his hair the best he could, and then went outside, prepared for any inquiries.

Sure enough the other man smiled wickedly.

"Someone had a good dream."

Kakashi cleared his throat. "I don't know what you're talking about."

He sincerely hoped tekuno couldn't read minds.

"They way you sighed I almost expected there to be someone in there with you."

"We had such a busy day, I didn't have time to read my book at all..." he said, as he knew it was expected of him. Tekuno made a grimace, "Icha Icha huh? God Kakashi, you need a date."

Kakashi hummed, as if to say "too bothersome." Not that he'd say no to a date, at least not with the one still in his tent, intently sleeping from the sound of it.

A couple of creaks from the forest told him that Hayama was on his way back to end his shift and sure enough the shape revealed a brown-haired man. He yawned, pleased to not have had any troubles.

"No problems?"

"None at all, except not dying from boredom."

"You should ask Kakashi about that, I'm sure he can teach you a few tricks-"

The man in question interrupted him, "Is there any place in particular I should keep an eye on?"

Hayama scratched his head, "well there's this kind of alleyway that makes your sight restricted so I guess you could, uh, … It's easier if you could see what I'm talking about."

Kakashi stood up, "Show me," and then turned back to Tekuno.

"Wake Naruto up, he gets to trade with you and guard the camp."

He nodded. "Will do."

But when both came back from their little reconnaissance Naruto still wasn't up.

By then Hayama was getting tired and his otherwise impeccable posture suffered from a droop on his shoulders. He eyed his tent in a lascivious manner, sleep calling for him. Kakashi waved his hand.

"Go, I'll wake him."

Both dreading and looking forward to it he slouched towards the tent, feeling his guts churn in reproach of his thoughts. He crouched, swiftly undid the zipper, was by no means surprised at how Naruto was sprawled out, his head perfectly free of expressions except a little, little twitch in his eyelid, looking like a buffet with all the things that made his mouth water and Kakashi felt like crawling in beside him but smothered the thought as quickly as it had appeared.

You have a job to do. Not to mention he'd have your head. Tsunade would definitely have your head. There's a slight chance Iruka might shove you down a garbage disposal for even thinking it.

He shivered, used his best sensei-voice:

"Time to get up, Naruto."

No reaction, except the magnetic movement of his lips as they parted and he sighed, sounding troubled even in his dreams.

"It's time to get up now," he repeated, this time a little louder.

Naruto started moving, on some plane starting to question what was in his mind.

"Kaka..." He breathed, still sleepy.

Kakashi froze, all of the hairs on his arms stood up and he drew a deep breath to relieve himself of the prickly feeling that had gotten a hold of him. Damn him for sounding so erotic first thing in the morning. He shook the indulging sensation off, took a hold of his shin and shook it just a little, tried to yank him out of whatever vision he was having.

"Yo, Naruto. You overslept."

A clouded, blue eye was opened, staring at him in disbelief.

"Kakashi-sensei. So you were really here."

What the hell did you expect?

"Um, yeah."

He blinked a couple of times, sat up.

"What time is it?"

"A little past four. You're gonna have to take Tekunos place and guard the camp."

His only reply was an incoherent noise, either directed at him or someone else. He blinked, rubbed his eyes and then finally seemed coherent. When he started to get moving Kakashi left, now that he was sure he wasn't going to fall asleep again. Besides, he had his own duties to take care of.

Despite what Hayama had said he had no problems staying awake, not with all the things he had on his mind. Later on, when they were on their way back to Konoha, Hayama and Tekuno were talkative with a playfulness seemingly not befitting their age and after a while he learned why.

"So, Naruto..." Tekuno said, and Kakashi smelled a dare coming.

Despite his age Tekuno had never approved of or even subjected himself to the rules that came with reaching a certain age and therefore Kakashi wasn't shocked when he continued with:

"Are you ready to bite the dust?"

The blond cracked a wide grin, equally playful, up to no good.

"Oh, you wanna go?"

Hayama joined them as well.

"I wanna have a go too!"

Naruto was quiet, just a while, held the look of a man who knows something is too good to be true but he'll probably do it anyway unless someone comes along to stop him, and he looked in Kakashis direction. He refused to meet his gaze, acted as if he might fall over at any second if he didn't keep his eyes on the road.

I'm not your sensei anymore.

Naruto turned back towards the two older men who undoubtedly had seen the exchange (or lack thereof) between them.

"Bring it!" he exclaimed and then they were off.

Kakashi continued straight forward while the other three scattered. At first he didn't hear anything except the sound of swift movements, later sounds of an exchange of body blows. He wasn't worried, knew as well as anyone that Naruto could handle himself against the two. They played by the book, even in heated situations. Not to say they weren't smart though, and when they teamed up they became hard to beat. Hopefully Naruto would learn a thing or two, and all of them would get the chance to blow off some steam.

He saw them swoosh by, the two older nin had joined forces to level out some of the difference, probably thinking just as Kakashi had, that their best shot was to outsmart him.

After they passed him, Naruto showed up. Joyous, dancing, laughing, he was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen as he rushed through the branches, so sure of his victory, of that undying love of life, of fighting, not hurting but fighting, of hands meeting clothes and chakra that threatened to tear a hole in his heart, but he knew he loved it, lived for it, for the chance to stop and say- I fought.

"How's it going?" Kakashi asked, took in his tousled hair and dirty clothes.

A careful smile got bolder and there was something so undisciplined in it that it sent shivers down his spine.

"Oh, I think I'm winning," he said and then flashed away, for a second looking so much like Minato it hurt.

Kakashi was watching the dead walk again, from father to son, his thoughts wandered. He traveled quickly through the canopy, anxious to get back to Konoha and it took a few seconds to discern the sounds of people approaching from those his comrades made. With a sinking sensation in his stomach he counted ten people or more closing in quickly. He sent out spikes of chakra to make others aware but he wasn't sure they'd notice in time.