AKissAndAGunshot: Haha, thanks for your opinion, I'm glad I've kind of meet your standards…? Thanks for your semi critique *thumbs up!*

Sweetcookies82: YAY! I'm glad you like it ;)

Hrosanna: I youtubed the song and it was beautiful J Thank you for your input! I really appreciate it.

MERRY CHRISTMASSSSS and HAPPY NEW YEAR

Ren could not meet her gaze. His eyes were hollow and he would not touch his food. He anxiously fiddled with the rocks under his feet, as if he was either preparing to run or use them as a kind of defense against her. He was nothing like the little boy who rescued her from the darkness, nothing like the boy who gave her a reason for living. I need to leave. Rin thought dazed. Why am I so useless? I can't do anything for him. (Again.)

With that, she fished out a slip of worn paper. She crouched slowly and deliberately and slid the piece of paper in front of him. "I'm sorry, Ren. I truly am." Rin murmured. She turned, grabbed her meager belongings and left with a murky (unobtainable) goal in her mind. She did not look back, even as a pair of forlorn silver eyes gazed at her slightly bent back, as if she knew how it was going to end.

The piece of paper laid untouched. Silver eyes stared bemusedly at the flyer for Shinigami recruits.

Rin passed the academy entrance exam with ease. Her mask was already on, as if it was never off in the first place. The Cheshire grin intimidated official Shinigami officers and recruits alike.

This is where you belong, Rin. It's with me here, forcing the world to kneel under your thumb.

His glasses were already off, his eyes hypnotizing.

Rin merely deigned him with her usual smile.

She slid her eyes shut and forced her grin wider. From then on, no one ever saw the lost blue orbs underneath.

That was fine with Rin. Because even she did not know where she belonged.

Everyone talked about the silver haired genius that managed to graduate with outstanding scores less than half a year. The captains are hesitant to claim her; her smile never fell even as she cut down her sparring partners.

Aizen takes an interest to her. He asked her about how far she would go. In response, she cut down his lieutenant. He smiles, and presents her the still bloody badge.

Her time as the newly minted lieutenant of division five was boring and the same as she remembered. The other lieutenants avoid her like the plague. She quickly gains the reputation of being the most ruthless lieutenant of the century. Kaien Shiba consistently tried to befriend her, and she went out of her way to avoid him, as he reminded her way too much of an orange haired ryoka that, long ago, she had handed her most precious person to.

Her sanity spirals with no sense of up or down as she spends time with Aizen. Even though she was physically younger than before, he had no problems touching her. He seemed pleased with the bruises and cuts he leaves on her pale, smooth skin. Rin merely closed her eyes and convinces herself that she was doing this for Ren. Nothing more.

On these nights, it became harder to persuade herself. Two bodies melded underneath the moonlight (Because people like us don't belong in the light) doing something so wrong, but so right-

For Ren, Ren, Ren. She chanted to herself. She pretended that another part of her was not singing a different tune.

Ren is my precious light. But I've become so tainted that… If I so much as to even touch him, I would be consumed by the light.

I cannot have Ren. Even if my vengeance were to succeed, he'll never look at me the same way again.

Aizen is all I have.

Perhaps, that was why when word reached her ears of a talented auburn haired, silver eyed male recruit, she merely retreated into her shell, stretched her grin wider, and walked away, ignoring the hurt expression of her childhood friend.

It always ended this way. No matter how much she tried, she could not get away from him. She always submitted, succumbing to Aizen. Sometimes, she could see it in his eyes, and she loathed herself for putting that self-satisfied expression in his eyes. And yet, she knew she desired it. He held absolute power over her, and part of her loved it.

"That boy."

Despite that, cold fear crawled up her spine.

"What about him, Aizen Taichou?" He smirked, glasses shading his sharp, calculating eyes.

"That childhood friend of yours… should he become an obstacle. Crush him." The smirk became perceptive and predatory. "Teach him not to interfere."

"Hai, Aizen Taichou."

The next day, Rin Ichimaru, the lieutenant of the five division left an abandoned hallway, her smile present and gait satisfied. But if one squinted really hard, they could see a slight wobble in the corners of her mouth.

After a few hours, Ren Natsumoto stumbled out of the hallway, with a lost yet determined expression. If one squinted really hard, they could see deep tear tracks and a small, fading hand shaped bruise on his throat.

Vastolordes' corner

Hi! Happy holidays! Here's your belated present…. This fic is gonna end soon, two chapters maybe?

Rin realizes that something about her and Aizen that ruins her relationship with Ren. Will she instead commit to Aizen's plan wholeheartedly this time?

HANG ON BEFORE YOU GOOOOO

Should I convert the omake in the previous chapter into an actual fic after this one?

Ok! Review and favorite!