Professor McGonagall, directing from the front of the stage, said, "Okay, guys, from the top!"
Cho and Cedric were onstage now. Both of them were standing, Cho glancing at her script constantly, trying to get Cedric to notice her eyes flirtily look up. Cedric rarely glanced at the script and was wondering if Cho had been living under a rock - hadn't she heard about the engagement?
"Action!"
Cedric, grinning, said, "Are you ready?"
"Yeah. Billy... I'm scared."
"Don't be. I've been around a long time. Believe me, you've got nothing to worry about. It's all a circus, a 3-ring circus. The trial, the whole world... is all a show business.
Kid, you're gonna be a star."
Neville pressed play on the CD player in the back. Cedric, already getting nervous because he still hadn't been able to get the lyrics down, but trying to look at the script as
little as possible, sang,
"Give 'em the old razzle dazzle,
Razzle dazzle 'em...
Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it,
And the reaction will be passionate!
Give 'em the old hocus pocus,
Bead and feather 'em...
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?
What if your hinges all are rusting?
What if, in fact, you're just disgusting?
Razzle dazzle 'em,
And they'll never catch wise!
Give 'em the old razzle dazzle,
Razzle dazzle 'em...
Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous,
Row after row will grow vociferous...
Give 'em the old flim flam flummox,
Fool and fracture 'em,
How can they hear the truth above the roar?
Throw 'em a fake and a finagle -
They'll never know you're just a bagel!
Razzle dazzle 'em,
And they'll beg you for more!
Give 'em the old double whammy,
Daze and dizzy 'em,
Back since the days of old Methuselah,
Everyone loves the big bambooz-a-ler...
Give 'em the old three ring circus,
Stun and stagger 'em,
When you're in trouble, go into your dance!
Though you are stiffer than a girder,
They'll let you get away with murder!
Razzle dazzle 'em,
And you've got a romance!
Give 'em the old razzle dazzle,
Razzle dazzle 'em...
Show 'em the first rate sorceror you are!
Long as you keep 'em way off balance,
How can they spot you've got no talent!
Razzle dazzle 'em,
Razzle dazzle 'em,
Razzle dazzle 'em,
And they'll make you a star!"
McGonagall yelled, "Cut!"
Cedric rolled his eyes. "What did I do this time," he thought.
So, McGonagall saying, "Perfect," was a bit of a surprise. And everyone was relieved when she said that rehearsals were done for the day.
Diana, who hadn't been needed at rehearsals that day, was in the common room singing, since no one else was anywhere near.
She, sprawled on the couch like a rag doll with eyes closed, sang along with the radio turned up full-blast.
"I am, he is,
You are, he is,
You are me,
And we are all together,
See how they run like like pigs from a gun, see how they run,
I'm crying...
Sitting on a cornflake,
Waiting for the van to come,
Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday,
Man, you've been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long...
I am the eggman, they are the eggman, I am the walrus,
Goo goo ga'joob!
Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye,
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess,
Boy, you've been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down...
I am the eggman, they are the eggman, I am the walrus,
Goo goo ga'joob!
Sitting in an English garden, waiting for the sun,
If the sun don't come, you get a tan from standing in the English rain...
I am the eggman, they are the eggman, I am the walrus,
Goo goo ga'joob!"
She heard someone laughing - Diana opened her eyes. Cedric was standing in the doorway, laughing like an idiot.
Diana raised an eyebrow, turned down the radio, closed her eyes, and sang,
"Hufflepuff dork, don't you realize
John Lennon was a freaking genius?
Stop laughing at me, I'll sing this if I want to,
You're a dork squaaaaad..."
She opened her eyes again, grinning. "I'm out of ideas - I don't think I need to explain my point further."
Cedric crossed his arms, smiling a little. "The latest in a series of you singing along with obviously-drug-induced lyrics. And you're right, John Lennon was a genius - one who happened to be tripping on LSD. Hence 'Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds'."
"Ced, just shut up. His songs are my anthems."
Just then, the radio announcer said, "And that was 'I Am the Walrus' by the Beatles... next up on WWN Oldies, we've got 'Shake Shake Senora' by Harry Belafonte - enjoy!"
Diana laughed, "If I had a Sickle for every time I've heard that song, I'd be rich - what're you doing?"
Cedric had picked up the book she had set on the table. He'd seen her reading it before - something about a coven in New Orleans by a Muggle named Anne Rice. Diana was always reading her books. "Interview With the Vampire... now, why are you reading this again?"
"You of all people should know why, honey."
"Either they want you to play Madeleine or you're too obsessed with vampires."
"I'm obsessed. Actually, according to this list my mom sent me, I have no life."
"What are the signs?"
"I classify everyone as either a Louis or a Lestat."
"Wha? You do?"
"Yeah. And you're a Lestat, by the way. If only because he's my favorite."
Cedric raised an eyebrow, then cleared his throat, grinned, and said with a French accent, "I'm honored, ma cherie."
Diana started laughing louder then she usually did. "See, THAT, right there, is why I love you so much. You never think I'm crazy."
"What are some other signs?"
"Let's see... buying Blood-Flavored Lollipops -"
"You've actually done that?"
"Yeah. Your point?"
"...never mind. Please continue."
"Okay, there was naming your owl Mojo, blaring 'Louie, Louie' at full volume just because, and I almost broke my mom's VCR watching and rewinding Louis and Armand's almost-kiss-scene. Proof enough for ya?"
Neither of them was sure how to continue the conversation, so they remained quiet. Finally, he said quietly as he sat down next to her on the couch, "You really are a silly one. In fact, that what's I love about you."
"Oh really now? You enjoy being engaged to someone who'll probably wind up in a room with padded walls?"
Cedric laughed a little, then said, "What do you think our first dance song should be?"
"... I haven't given it much thought."
"That's okay, considering we've decided to wait until after graduation to get married, right?"
"Yeah... wow, it's only the end of 6th year now. I don't know if I can wait another year."
"I don't think you'd want to be the only honor roll student with a husband."
"Good point. And you wouldn't want to be the only guy on the Quidditch team with a wife yelling at you to stop playing Quidditch and take out the trash."
They both laughed a little, and then Diana said, "To be honest... I was going to ask you if you wanted the song to be 'Chances Are'."
Cedric stared at her for a minute, wondering if she had been taking mind-reading lessons or something. "Did you know that's my song for you?"
"No... that's kind of funny..." Diana looked down at the floor, smiling. "You should've heard my mom freaking out when I told her you proposed. She sounded like a Valley Girl or something."
"My parents kept telling me about all the different ways I should propose... they mentioned putting the ring in your food and things like that."
"I like the way you proposed... it was lovely."
"Really? God, I was so scared that night, I kept thinking, 'What if she says no?' and -"
"Why on Earth would I say no?"
"Well, you know me, I worry about random things."