They all watched me warily; Dimitri offered me a smile of encouragement and motioned for me to join them on the U shaped couch. I did, snuggling into the comfy leather beside him and Christian. Lissa sat on the other side of Christian and I couldn't help smirking at the idea of a double date like this. We still hadn't gotten around to explaining the relationship between Dimitri and I to Mia and we both hadn't forgotten we were on duty- we wouldn't usually be rigid with our guard in a well protected place such as court, but Dimitri and I both had harsh experiences with the failure of wards, so we didn't sit too close. I could definitely feel the electricity between us though and I was betting he could too.
I turned my attention to the large poster spread across the table and directed my question towards Lissa.
"What's this?" She nodded towards the table.
"The box, underneath it. We... uh... it was delivered to me. It got past security- barely- because they decided it wasn't going to endanger my physically." She shrugged "I haven't... I haven't read it yet, but I..." she shook her head and corrected herself "-we have a general idea of what... what it's about." She bit her lip, looking down. I scanned the faces of my friends in the room; none of them would meet my eyes. I would have killed to have been able to read her mind right now. After at least a minute, Dimitri finally spoke up.
"We decided we should leave it to you... let you decide what you do with them, but there was a note attached, addressed to you. We haven't read that, nor do we have any idea what it says." I grumbled something about my irritation at not knowing what they were talking about but reached for the box anyway. I couldn't help the slight tremble in my hands as I curiously lifted the cardboard lid. The tape that had previously sealed it had been ripped open, probably by security, and the flaps came loose easily. Inside was a stack of books, the one on top had the same cover as the poster; I held back a gasp as I reached for a note sitting on top of this book. It was sealed, Rosemarie Hathaway written in cursive on the front. I snatched it out of the box and shut the flaps again, not wanting to see my young face any longer.
Making my way back to my spot on the couch, I noticed the curious, confused looks my friends were giving me. I was used to being gossiped about, but with my friends it was different. I wanted to know why they were talking in voices too low for my dhampir ears to pick up, occasionally sneaking glances at me, too. This was the case with Mia, Christian, Eddie and Adrian, at least. I realised that Christian and Lissa had swapped spots- Lissa was now sitting next to where I was to sit. I knew her well enough to know she wanted to be close enough to me in case I had a fit of rage, or simply just because she wanted to be there to comfort me. Either way, I was happy to have her closer.
I took my seat and sighed, taking comfort in Dimitri's warmth. We had apparently given up on staying separated because he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer. We remained this way for a couple of seconds, he was lending me strength and I appreciated it, but I was curious. He let go of me and both he and Lissa leaned away, allowing me privacy as I read the note. I brushed my hand over where my name was written before unfolding the note. I sunk back into the couch as I read.
Rose,
These books are your thoughts, every thought from when you were captured and brought back to the academy until when Lissa became queen. These books hold all your secrets, all your thoughts and hidden feelings. I urge you to share these with your friends, for you will struggle to leave so many secrets untold. Read this book with them and avoid consequences in the future- it is in your best interest.
When I finished the note my mind was spinning, I had so many questions and very few answers. These were my thoughts? How could my thoughts possibly be in a book? And my friends knew? Why hadn't the note been signed, and who would have written it? Avoid consequences in the future. That line stuck with me. Somewhere, somehow, in my mind I felt I knew the right thing to do, but I couldn't. I wouldn't. My secrets were secrets for a reason, yet... they were tearing me apart, tearing me from Lissa, Dimitri, the people I loved the most. I had to tell them, I had to read these strange books to them, but I was still waging this mental war within my mind. I sighed, letting my thoughts settle as I realised I had crumpled the note into a tiny paper ball. I tucked it into my pocket for later investigation and sucked in a deep breath. The words were out before I had time to think about them.
"Let's do it." Six heads turned to look at me. "Let's read them."