The final chapter! This has to be one of the hardest chapters of anything I've ever written, and anyone who knows me will know why. Good luck is all I can really say!
You'll always be our little one, no matter how old you get and how much you pout and sulk over it. Indeed, the fact that you try and fight it just puts you in your place even more, for you will never be able to get us to see you any other way. You might be growing up, far faster than I seem to be able to keep up with. But you'll always be me little boy, whether you like it or not.
You are the final part to my life, the last piece to the puzzle that keeps your mother alive. I see her reflected in you all, different aspects of your personality bringing to life something that reminds me of her, and you complete that for me.
Scott always saw you as the one he could protect. There was enough of an age gap that he could take care of you the way he couldn't with the others. You were young enough to need him in a way the others didn't. You needed me; and he was there to step into that role. He made it his mission to look after you, and I know to this day he still sticks by that. Even if you hate it.
John could teach you. Again, there was enough of a gap between you that you needed help with your homework, and he was far enough ahead to be able to explain the answers to you. I will never forget the days of coming home to find the two of you pouring over your homework as you chewed on a pencil and John tried to explain things, even while Scott watched on, frustrated that he couldn't do more.
Virgil could inspire you. He was too young to make an impact on Gordon, but I saw the way his eyes lit up when you wandered over to watch him play. He played so many of your favourites just so he could have the rapt attention that none of his other brothers gave his music because they were too busy. You would stand for hours just listening to the masterpieces his fingers created, and whenever you finally moved away, the smile on Virgil's face made my heart feel light and free, no matter what else was happening.
As for Gordon… I don't think he realised quite the adventure he could have as a big brother until you were born. He was always causing mischief, but he seemed to make it a personal challenge to drag you into as much of it as he could. You always listened to what your brothers said when you were little. You might not have listened to me, but you listened to them and did whatever Gordon told you, regardless of the consequences that would come your way afterwards.
You idolised them all for their uniqueness. It was as if you could see their differences more than I could, for it was you they showed them too. As the youngest, you were the one they could influence and look after, inspire and protect whether it was from a scraped knee or climbing over a high fence in order to retrieve a ball.
I will never forget the day you were born, the look on their faces when all realised that they had the chance to be big brothers again. They all promised me – separately – that they were going to help look after you and I told them that I would hold them to that. Sometimes I wish I had never said it; for maybe they wouldn't take it so personally whenever something was thrown your way that they couldn't handle. You never needed me by the time I was properly there, for you had found everything you required in your big brothers.
I know I am not the only one who looks on in either pride or exasperation when we see the newest report of what you have been up to. You can rival John if you put your mind to it, but challenge Gordon when it comes to not doing something that you don't want to. The stubbornness certainly runs as strong in you as it does in Scott, yet you still have that flare of creativity occasionally surfacing from so long watching Virgil.
I don't just see your mother in you, the way I do with the others. I see the four of them. I see the way they brought you up, they were there for you reflected in every little thing that you do. Even the way you try and fight against them, wanting to prove that you are old enough to handle yourself, it still shadows some of the things that they have instilled in you over the years. I know I find amusement in the situation, especially considering they seem to see it too. They see themselves when they fight against you, and that tells them that they cannot win.
But you don't always have to fight them. Occasionally it is good to let them win, to let them smother you the way they clearly want to. You are old enough to be your own man, no one can deny that. But you are, and always will be, the baby of our family. Just as being a big brother comes with certain responsibilities, so does being a younger one. And you are the youngest of them all, meaning the role you play is more important than you yourself know.
So when you run off and sulk, hiding from Tin-Tin after another fight or offering to take a rota up on Five because you aren't sure what Gordon is planning, remember something for me. Remember what each of them gave to make you the man you are today, and just now and again, let them have their way. None of us can change our role in this family, regardless of how hard you fight.
None of us will ever change the way we think of you.