"Computer, how long have I been running this recording?" Chakotay grimaced as he heard the hoarseness of exhaustion in his voice.
"16 hours and 33 minutes." The Computer answered unconcernedly.
Chakotay's loud exhale of surprise and disbelief whistled through his tightly clenched teeth as he rubbed his itching eyes to stare resignedly around the projection of Seven of Nine's imaginary quarters where he sat on the sofa and again considered what the hell he was doing there. He'd seen enough of Seven's simulations to know that he'd have to lie to the Captain just to cover what he'd already witnessed, so why was he embroiling himself even further by continuing to sit here? Yes, he had to reluctantly agree with the voice in his head, which had been growing louder by the hour, that it was a curious fascination with Seven's fantasy that kept him here, a realisation which made him ashamed of himself and embarrassed for her. Even more uncomfortably, he had started to wonder if that would've been the case if the object of her fantasy had been anyone but him…
Seven's voice led him away from his thoughts, bringing his attention from himself and back to her as she announced, "Computer, implement designated changes to programme Seven of Nine Beta 3." Chakotay barely had time to blink before the uniform Seven had been wearing was replaced by a dress, and, his mind couldn't help but focus on, a revealing red dress at that. Now, Chakotay had always been aware of his attraction to Seven, he didn't think there was a man on the ship who didn't at least admire her occasionally, it was human nature after all, but this was a different kettle of fish. Even the shock his senses had received when he'd first seen her after being restored by the Doctor didn't compare to the surge running through him right now. Seven didn't help by walking right past him to stand in front of the full-length mirror that had appeared in the programme along with Seven's costume change. He stood up to be able to see her face, hastily wiping his palms on his trousers as he did so, and was struck by how ill-at-ease she looked. His mother had once jokingly told him that what a woman saw of herself in the mirror was the opposite of what a man would see, but Seven took this to an extreme. Instead of the confidence the screen siren like ensemble should have been inspiring, apprehension was all that was exuded by Seven's face and posture as she pulled at the dress' slender shoulder straps and tugged at the straight hem which barely brushed her knees. Chakotay was beside her as she, after obviously internally disciplining her behaviour, straightened her back as if it were an unbending steel rod and inhaled a deep strengthening breath Chakotay found himself taking with her. She then swiftly loosened the golden helmet of a hairdo she worn without variation everyday he'd worked with her, and let the surprisingly long locks fall over her shoulders and down her back. Chakotay had never noticed before that her hair had a definite wave to it, curling softly at the ends in a way that seemed to him to be at odds with her unyielding self-control. Even now he could practically hear the Borg Queen's taunts and reproaches that were, judging from her uncertain expression and bitten lip, most likely running through her mind. The thought of that aggravated him enough on her behalf to almost put an encouraging hand on her shoulder before he remembered she wasn't really there, not on this holodeck anyway.
"You look perfect." The soft words of his hologram made Chakotay as well as Seven jump; although Chakotay caught a shy flush of pleasure fill Seven's cheeks in the mirror before she quickly spun around to face the hologram.
"You're early…" She greeted shakily, smiling broadly but with her gaze averted as if she were afraid he'd retract the compliment if she looked at him fully. This made her observer wonder how unused she was to compliments, surely one of her professed at admirers had given her as little as a simple compliment at some point? Although, with Harry's nerves and the Doctor's hyperbolic tendencies he sadly supposed it was very possible…
"I didn't want to wait." The hologram explained honestly, dragging his gaze away from his date to glance around the room, smiling at the sight of the newly installed replicator, "I see you got the replicator." He held the bottle of wine in his hands out to her, "I brought the wine with me, just in case."
"Please do the honours." Seven replied with a warm smile as she left his side to bring them two wine glasses from her small kitchenette.
"Right." The Chakotay hologram agreed easily before trying to uncork the bottle with considerably more difficulty. "We didn't have to pass an uncorking class at the Academy…" He joked good-naturedly as Seven watched his struggles in amusement.
Seven's eyebrow arched aloft. "Will you require a phaser Commander?" she teased.
He chuckled, "Maybe…" He replied before giving the cork one last tug, sharing a triumphant grin with Seven as the bottle opened with a satisfying pop. He glanced up at the room's speaks, which were playing a gentle piece of classical piano. "Liszt?"
"Chopin." The real Chakotay automatically corrected from behind him, rather peevishly.
Seven echoed the correction, although in a much pleasanter tone than her observer, "Chopin. I was introduced to classical piano some months ago."
Both Chakotays looked at her in interest, although it was of course the hologram who asked, "You play?"
Seven nodded, "The Doctor has been instructing me." She answered modestly, "I enjoy it."
The hologram beamed at her, "That's great!" He then looked at her more gently, "I'd love to hear you play."
Seven looked up at him, a flattered smile pulling at her lips. "Then you shall, although perhaps another time, dinner is almost ready."
"What are we having?" the hologram asked warmly, following her into the kitchenette with the real Chakotay shadowing his steps.
Seven took a deep breath as she assessed the process of her two courses on the small stove. "Braised leeks for the starter and chicken supreme for the primary course."
Holographic Chakotay licked his lips appreciatively as he leaned over her shoulder, a movement the real Chakotay saw made her gasp slightly. "And for dessert?" he pressed with a smile.
Seven lifted an eyebrow, eyes twinkling. "Dessert will be a surprise." Chakotay felt an involuntary shiver go over him at her low tone and his hologram was openly pleased as he plucked a spoon of stew from the bubbling pot to taste. "Does it require more sodium chloride?" Seven asked him worriedly.
The hologram paused thoughtfully, "0.6 milligrams." He reported, a teasing glint in his eye.
Seven smirked at that but still seriously tasted her meal. "You're right, more salt." She agreed quietly, adding a pinch before setting to chopping more leeks, a task the hologram quickly moved forward to help her with, although the real Chakotay noted that he was more intent on watching Seven chop than doing his own.
"You look beautiful when you're chopping." He murmured near her ear after a couple of minutes of comfortable silence. When Seven couldn't quite suppress a smile in response to that, he grinned from ear to ear. "It's true and you know it, you're smiling…"
Seven looked up at him defiantly, "That was not a smile, it was a smirk." She informed him. The real Chakotay could hear the humour behind this remark and obviously so could the hologram.
"I'll check the internal sensors to confirm that it was a smile." He challenged stubbornly, still grinning at her. It was Seven who gave in first, starting to laugh and stepping away from her preparations. The hologram followed her, standing close to her as he said seriously, "At the risk of sounding like a cheesy holonovel…" The real Chakotay saw a tiny flinch pass over Seven's face as he said that, "…you really do have the most beautiful smile I've ever seen."
That smile was barely evident as Seven's face leaned closer to his, her expression absorbed and her throat swallowing convulsively, "You have a very intriguing facial structure…" She murmured softly.
The real Chakotay felt the blood rush to his face even faster. He'd already backed off when he'd felt the tension in the room begin to spark as well as sizzle, but now he was pretty sure that Seven, in her unique way, had called a hologram of him handsome. The hologram was obviously even more certain as he put his hands on her shoulders and replied huskily, "I'll take that as a compliment." Seven had only just begun a small nod when he pressed his lips firmly to hers, his hands moving down to her waist as she returned the kiss.
In reality the kiss lasted only for a few seconds, although to Chakotay, whose sinking gut was twisting into confused knots it seemed much longer before a flushed Seven pulled back, putting her hands on the hologram chest to steady herself. "I require more practice…" She blushed red as the connotations of this remark hit home but the Chakotay hologram just smiled at her fondly, tilting her face upwards again with his hand. Seven obliged him with a soft smile and a second kiss.
Despite his mounting discomfort, it almost crushed him, Chakotay was fixated on them and therefore saw the shot of sharp pain which flooded Seven's face as if she had been stung. A gasp left her lips as the hologram, who must felt her tense, broke the kiss to peer at her anxiously. "What's wrong?" he whispered in concern.
Seven blinked painfully, looking dazed and bemused for a few seconds, before she forced the lingering wince from her face. "Nothing." She murmured reassuringly, but as she leaned in to kiss her hologram again, Chakotay believed she was lying.
Thankfully for Chakotay's sense of reality, the hologram pushed for nothing more than a few relatively chaste kisses after that, the heat of that first moment had dissipated for now. They had eaten their meal before he guided her to sit with him on the sofa. "You look tired."
"I suppose I haven't gotten used to my lack of regenerating." Seven agreed quietly. Chakotay, sitting directly across from their sofa on a chair, saw for the first time that Seven was pale from lack of rest, dark shadows beginning to blotch her eyes. The Captain had been right about her neglecting her alcove in favour of the holodeck at least, probably the reason for her headache.
"Sleeping has its merits too, I promise." The hologram assured her, gently using the arm he had around her waist to guide her head onto his shoulder. "So, what were these piano lessons with the Doctor like exactly?" he asked as she cuddled into his side.
Seven laughed sleepily, "Some of his teaching methods could be described as unconventional." She admitted.
"Oh, I'm sure." Her hologram replied, not speaking again as Seven gave into badly needed sleep.
Both Chakotays watched in silence as she slept. The real man hadn't even been entirely sure before this if her implants allowed her to sleep. He now saw that she could have nightmares too, she occasionally jumped and whimpered a Borg term, making both men wince. The hologram soon carefully manoeuvred her from his shoulder to lie out on the sofa, biting his lip as she cried out briefly. "You're okay honey, relax…" He whispered to her unhappily, finally lying down beside her and putting a gentle arm around her in an effort to offer comfort. Chakotay saw that it worked somewhat, Seven soon quietened as her hologram joined her in sleep.
He wasn't sure how long he sat there watching them, thinking. Seeing them like this had given him some perspective. If Seven had merely wanted some lustful fantasy, with men romancing her passionately, she certainly wouldn't be the first on board, everyone got lonely and had needs, including the Captain and himself, but that wasn't what this was. He saw now that her loneliness ran deeper, she was starved of attention as well as affection, of any intimacy whatsoever. He wasn't about to say she was blameless in that, she pushed people away on a daily basis, but after her traumatic existence, for it couldn't fairly be called a life, what else was she able to do? He was amazed that she had been able to let go this much, although he knew with a sad certainty that it would trap her in a situation where rather than face her fears she'd hide in this pleasant dream world instead. He sighed heavily and put his head in his hands, only raising it when he heard Seven shift again, back in the grasp of her demons. "Don't do this to yourself…" He pleaded in a whisper, "I'd help you, everyone would help you make reality a little more like this if you'd just try…"
Her eyes shot open as if she'd heard him, but of course it was only her disturbed dreams jolting her awake, breathing hard. She didn't get time to recover as her comm. badge beeped, "Seven of Nine, report to Astrometrics." Chakotay grimaced as he recognised his own words from the morning before. Part of the reason he'd agreed to do this for the Captain was that he'd witnessed her acting even more standoffish than normal, he couldn't believe that had only been yesterday.
Seven's breath caught. "I'm…on my way Commander!" she answered hurriedly, immediately beginning to scramble up from the sofa.
The Chakotay hologram woke then, sleepily pulling her close for another moment. "Good morning." He murmured contentedly.
A horrified grimace crossed Seven's face, as if it had dawned on her just how complicated her situation was, and how tangled her emotions were. Chakotay's chest tightened as a mask of deep guilt and intense self-hatred settled on her face. She stood up, "Computer, deactivate programme." She ordered through gritted teeth and the world she'd created instantly evaporated like the mirage it was. She stood in the grey panelled room, again donning her biosuit with her implants scarring her skin. The only trace of where she'd been was that her hair still lay loose on her slumped shoulders but she eliminated that by sharply sweeping it back up and retreating from the room without looking back.
The Computer's voice broke through Chakotay's frozen thoughts. "Do you wish to see the recording of the programme's next activation?"
"No…" Chakotay ground out, "That's enough."
A/n: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! :D