Chakotay felt his jaw set, his teeth grinding together, as he looked down at the latest duty shift rota. There wasn't much out of the ordinary about it, he might even have been pleased at how much the crew were stepping up in order to complete the repairs caused by the minefield as fast as possible, but as it was he was frustrated by the one person whom he knew was doing too much. He glanced up at Lieutenant Wiseman, who had been helping him compile the duty shifts that day. It was normally his sole responsibility but with having to supervise repairs as well he needed all the help he could get. "Did Seven really request all of these extra shifts in Astrometrics and Engineering?" he asked.
Lieutenant Wiseman was perplexed by both the strange question and the sharp edge to the Commander's tone, but answered honestly, "She was very clear about it to me Commander. Even though all of those hours stretch regulations, she seems to think that with the minefield so close behind us she needs to be extra vigilant in Astrometrics. As for Engineering, with all the repairs I thought…" He stopped as Chakotay breathed a frustrated sigh, "I suppose I could tell her that all of those shifts aren't available…"
Chakotay's lips curled sadly as he saw how intimidated the other man was at the prospect of a confrontation with Seven. It hadn't been long ago that he himself had been exceptionally wary of the former drone, but now he just couldn't fathom it, not for the same reasons anyway. "It's okay Lieutenant." He told him resignedly, "She's probably right about the repairs anyway, they'd certainly go slower without her…"
Tom's ears pricked at Chakotay's tone. "Seven causing you trouble Chakotay?"
"No." Chakotay replied hurriedly, sinking back in his chair with a distracted sigh, "I just wonder how Seven has any time to sleep, that's all…"
Tom twisted around in his pilot's chair, an amused smirk pulling at his lips. "Ah, but that's her trick isn't it? She doesn't sleep, she regenerates and as well all know by now that's more efficient." He saw that his mild jest was just deepening Chakotay's frown and changed tact. "If it makes you feel better about overworking her, B'Elanna told me she's been much easier to deal with in Engineering the past few days, quieter. She's hardly mentioned any so called "improvements" to B'Elanna."
As Chakotay mulled this over, Harry spoke up from Ops, looking almost as disquieted as Chakotay felt by Tom's words, "Maybe she's still feeling guilty about almost missing those mines?" he suggested uneasily.
"I don't see why." Tom said firmly, facing his friend fully, "We did miss them and that's the important thing. If I beat myself up every time I had a narrow escape I'd be…"
"Pretty beaten up?" Chakotay finished wryly as Tom's support of Seven filled him with an unexpected wave of gratitude. It would do Seven a lot of good to hear those words with her own ears, although he doubted that was all that was bothering her. He'd spent over an hour trying to retrieve her holodeck programmes, hoping to help her or, the more cynical part of his brain suspected, alleviate his own confusion and guilt, over the whole thing. However, the deletion of the programmes had been so absolute and methodical that Chakotay knew, even as a depressed, thwarted frustration bubbled within him at the realisation, that Seven had overseen the destruction of her holographic life herself. Of course, she was entirely within her rights to do so, but where the relief should have settled in his brain at the thought of her simulations being over, anxiety stubbornly resided instead.
Tom laughed heartily, "Definitely, and you and the Captain would be due a few blows at me!" Harry laughed too and Chakotay managed to summon up a chuckle from somewhere despite his conflicted thoughts. Harry seemed to take this as a cue to continue conversing as they worked.
"So, did Neelix talk you into attending his cooking class tonight?" he asked in good humoured curiosity.
"I gave him permission to hold it myself." Chakotay replied with a dry smile, "We all need time to unwind and my cooking skills couldn't get much worse." Just as these words left his lips, the taste, as well as image, of one of the Captain's burnt creations popped into his mind and he grimaced. Maybe he should be glad of what culinary skills he had.
"I doubt preparing "Talaxian tenderloin in ten minutes" will give any of us much time to unwind." Tom remarked before cracking a good-natured grin, "B'Elanna and I will definitely be there."
Harry returned the grin in relief, he hadn't wanted to deal with all of Neelix's enthusiasm without back up, and then turned to Tuvok at Tactical. "Are you going to join us Mr Tuvok?"
Tuvok's shoulders quivered in a tiny, almost inaudible, sigh before straightening stoically. "I did not intend to originally, but the Captain has since advised me that it would be illogical to miss the opportunity to perfect a new skill."
"And she'd be right about that." Tom assured him solemnly, although his gleeful smile was at odds with his words. "You'd better report to the Mess Hall at 1900 hours just like the rest of us then Mr Tuvok."
Chakotay's gaze focused on the PADD again as he tuned out the rest of the friendly banter, and to his dismay found that Seven's long hours were still troubling him. He'd understand if she was just avoiding him for the sake of peace of mind, but she was shutting herself away again, the very habit her programmes seemed to be starting to break. He couldn't just let her slide back from all of that progress, could he?
Seven felt her lips purse and her stride shorten in agitation as she spotted another inaccuracy in her report into the alien minefield. It had to be perfect if the Captain was going to forgive her for her idiocy, let alone forgive herself and ease her heart's grip on that particular guilt. Bowing her head even deeper over the PADD, she began to intently dial in her corrections, but as rounded the corner a near collision made her head snap upwards. Blood rushed up towards her face as her eyes were met first with a broad chest then moved upwards to its owner, Commander Chakotay, but thankfully she was almost sure she managed to stop the blood before it reached her cheeks. "I apologise Commander." His easy smile in immediate reply surprised her enough to pause for a second, but that wasn't enough time for Chakotay to reply properly.
The smile he gave her was almost unconscious, he was actually pleased to see her, near collision or not, and his eye thought he caught the tiniest of blushes, although when he blinked it was gone. "It's no problem…" He fought the urge to cry out an irritated "Hey" as she seemed to barely register his words, stepping swiftly aside and striding rapidly on her way. Instead, he impulsively turned on his heel and followed her. He had to jog slightly at first to keep up with her, despite his longer legs. "Where's the fire?" he asked as he reached her side.
Her eyebrows crinkled in bemusement. "Fire?" she asked sharply, although he could hear a quiver in her voice, as if she wasn't certain whether or to take him literally. Chakotay couldn't help but find that somewhat endearing despite her tone and she seemed to take the hint in the words well enough, she slowed to an abrupt halt.
He gave her the explanation she was searching his face for by rephrasing. "What's the hurry?"
Seven's grip tightened self-consciously around the PADD, only now sensing that he wanted to converse with her and picking up her pace again accordingly. "I must complete my report into the alien minefield and their other weapons installations." She answered with cold dismissively, hoping against hope that that tone, which scared off many of her crewmates over the years, would be effective on the Commander too.
He didn't even flinch, becoming somehow more persistent as he faced her. "Come on, you saved the ship, I think you deserve a break." He saw a wince pass fleetingly over her features, disbelief at his words glinting in her eyes for a split second that made him all the determined to convince her. "I'm on my way to Neelix's cooking lesson in the Mess Hall, "Talaxian tenderloin in ten minutes", why don't you join me?" He gave her an encouraging smile, "It'll be fun." He assured her softly.
Seven couldn't stop herself from breaking eye contact, shaken. The fact that here Chakotay was inviting her to cook, a hobby she'd indulged in with her fantasy of him, was painfully ironic. "I am no longer interested in cooking." She finally responded stiffly after an uncomfortable pause.
Chakotay almost reached out for her arm as he realised he'd made a bad misstep. Going cooking with him was just too reminiscent of the holodeck, probably for him as well as her now that he thought about it. Still, he wanted her to go, show her that she could have some of what she'd dreamed of in the holodeck, and it was too late to fully back out now. "Then come for the company." He suggested in a last ditch effort, "B'Elanna's coming, even Tuvok promised to make an appearance." He smiled, as he had earlier, at the thought, hoping to draw Seven in, but it seemed to have no affect, even stiffening her resolve.
This time Seven locked her eyes with him, she had to understand why he was suddenly being so magnanimous towards her when she'd done nothing of merit to deserve it, in fact quite the opposite, she deserved his revulsion for what she had done. Was it pity? The Doctor may have told him something, a nagging voice in her head proposed, but she shunned it away violently as she answered coolly, "I'd rather not." On autopilot, she remembered the courtesies the Doctor had made her memorise, "Perhaps another time?"
Chakotay felt real anger towards her for the first time, he'd never known Seven to be insincere. Cold maybe, reserved, but never insincere. He could see in her eyes that as far as she was concerned she never wanted that "time" to come and that realisation made something in him snap. "You know, I just wanted to socialise with the crew for once…" He told her hotly, barely able to stop himself saying the "real crew" and revealing everything he knew, "It might do you some good!"
Seven stepped back from him, her body lurching momentarily as if he'd struck her. He may as well have, the shock of the angry words was akin to a kick in the stomach. She ignored his gasp as he belatedly took in the hurt he'd inflicted on her and found herself nodding robotically before she turned quickly and headed off the way she had come, away from him and what he represented. After all, what he'd said was perfectly true.
Chakotay gulped, guilt overwhelming him, as she twisted away from him. He had, of course, regretted what he'd said within seconds of it leaving his mouth and seeing the devastation cross her face before her Borg mask asserted itself, enforcing impassivity he knew was false. He couldn't blame her for that self-protection mechanism, far from it. If someone who had seen what he'd seen of her inner, private world could still be unspeakably cruel to her, she obviously needed it. Ignorant of those uninformed crewmembers milling nonchalantly past him, he kicked out at the wall in frustration. None of said crewmembers questioned him, they saw at once that he was in a black mood as he retreated to his quarters. Talaxian tenderloin would just have to wait for him too.
A/n: This is more angsty than I intended, but I hope you still like it! I'll try to update tomorrow. PLEASE REVIEW! :D