Structurally, this chapter is setup a tad bit differently than any other. I quite like it though, and I hope you all will as well:)
Please review as always!
-Hazel
It just keeps getting worse and worse.
Deeks has known for weeks that it's all going to come to a head eventually, and that he will have to deal with the repercussions.
His dad just never stops drinking, nor does he ever stop allowing the habit to affect everyone else in his family- mainly just Deeks.
He isn't truly concerned for himself though. It's his mother's well being that worries him.
Running away would be a simple thing to do. An easy solution that could temporarily fix all of his problems.
But she would be all alone, and he just can't force himself to do that to her. Deeks is her protector, and he knows it.
So, one day it just dawns on him. Suddenly, at seventeen years of age, it is Deeks' duty to keep his mother safe.
Somehow he's supposed to manage school, friends and a supposedly normal life, as well as bear that weight on top of it all.
The bullet explodes from the barrel of his newly possessed gun without a second thought. When Ray had given it to him a couple of weeks prior, Deeks had never actually believed that he would need to use it.
"Never shoot back," he'd said. "Always shoot first."
Deeks recalls his new job title before firing, just in order to make himself feel better.
Her protector.
He has to do it. There is no other choice.
Deeks can't let them both die, so there's no going back.
He calls 911 as he stumbles out the front door. The man is a bastard, but Deeks is different. He isn't a monster.
No, he won't allow himself to become his father.
Deeks' knees finally buckle once his feet reach the cold, dewy grass on his front lawn. He's stuck between feeling proud of himself for taking a stand, and utterly horrified at his own actions.
The sirens of the ambulance ring out in the distance, but are becoming louder and louder with the passing time.
That means it's time to go.
He doesn't want to get drug down to the police station, just so he can answer a never ending stream of questions relating to his father.
There's one person in particular that he wants to see, someone who understands a dysfunctional family dynamic. Not to his extent, thank god- but her situation still doesn't sound too good.
He stands up, almost tripping but willing his legs not to fall out from beneath him. Catching sight of flashing blue and red lights just makes him run faster and harder. He picks up his feet, counting each step as he goes.
One, two, three, four... Deeks looses count after thirty.
But regardless, he must keep going. He can't get caught- they'd probably send him into foster care, or somewhere a long way away from her.
That just won't do.
Deeks can't think of anywhere else he wants to be.
He needs to be around her, or feel her presence somehow. The tears that stain his cheeks seem even more readily apparent in the bright street lights that shine down on him as he walks down the sidewalk towards her house.
His breathing is staggered from sprinting, but he tries his very best to even it out.
Come on Deeks, he tells himself. Don't cry in front of her.
Placing one foot in front of the other he finally makes it around to the back of her house, awkwardly shoving his hands in his pockets once he gets there. Deeks lets out three quick and uneven breaths, picking up a pebble that he finds hidden in the grass.
Inspecting it, he finally comes to the conclusion that it's not gonna do to much damage on her window, and assumes it's safe to use. Swinging one arm back he chucks it in the general vicinity of her bedroom, his good aim coming in handy.
"Kens!" He hisses, hoping to get her attention without waking up Julia. "Psssst! Kensi!"
There's no response, so he immediately picks up another rock and wheels his arm back to throw it towards her.
"Deeks! What are you...?"
He lowers his arm upon seeing Kensi lean out the window, a small, halfhearted smile forming on his face.
"Hey."
Kensi cocks her head to one side.
"Hiiiiii," she replies, cautiously.
Scratching the back of his head, Deeks tries his best to show her one of his usually bright, beaming smiles.
"How are you?"
"It's two in the morning, Deeks."
"I know, but..." He swallows hard, clenching up his jaw. "Could you come down for a minute? Please?"
Normally she'd feign annoyance, or tell him to come up and see her rather than the other way around- but something in his eyes tells her not to protest.
Kensi just nods. "Er... okay. I'm coming."
Deeks awkwardly fidgets where he stands, sticking both hands into his pockets. He sees the light flick on in her room, and catches the edge of her face in the reflection as she pulls a sweatshirt over her head.
After a minute or so Kensi reappears from around the corner, exiting out the back door.
"Why are you here?" She folds both arms tightly across her chest, pulling the long sleeves of her sweatshirt down to cover her hands. "What's wrong?"
He barely grins, the expression clearly strained.
"Couldn't sleep. Just wanted to see your pretty face."
She narrows her eyes knowingly.
"Come on, Deeks. Give it up."
He shrinks back slightly, and that's when she finally notices them- the tell tale signs that he isn't really okay: the tears in his eyes and the bruises that decorate his wrists and arms.
"Oh my god, Deeks! What happened?"
He shakes his head for a moment, eyes and mouth wide as he searches for words.
"I...I shot him."
"You what?" Kensi asks, her chin dropping in horror. She completely closes the gap between them, her tough stance softening. "Deeks, I mean, I..."
"He was coming at my mom, Kens. I just had to do something." He scratches the top of his head, extending one arm out as his vision blurs. "I couldn't let him kill her."
Tears well up in Kensi's eyes as she bites the skin on the inside of her mouth. She tastes something metallic, but doesn't let it stop her from slowly moving towards him, wrapping both arms around his waist.
"I'm here for you."
"I knew you would be," he says, exhaling and returning the favor by holding her back, his hands overlapping one another in the center of her back. "That's why I came here."
Kensi squeezes her arms just a little bit tighter around his midsection, closing her eyes.
"I love you, Deeks," she mumbles, the words muffled and breathy against his shirt.
In a sense of shock he immediately stiffens, both eyes widening as he pulls her away from his chest so he can see her face.
She's looking down to the ground, almost shyly. Deeks taps two fingers beneath her chin, just so that he can meet her eye line.
"What?"
Kensi closes her eyes, bracing for the worst. She should've know, really. Of course he doesn't feel quite as strongly as she does.
He's the gorgeous, popular surfer boy, and she's the awkward, shy, tomboyish new girl.
So she should've known.
"I'm sorry, Deeks... I shouldn't-"
"Kens."
"Have just thrown that out there like that... I mean-"
"Kens?"
"You're going through so much, and I-"
"Kensi?"
"I never, ever think before I speak, and now-"
He just can't take it any longer.
Deeks kisses her suddenly, pulling her head towards his and allowing one hand to remain resting on the small of her back.
She's stunned at first, and rightfully so. But quickly Kensi practically collapses into his arms, her lips pressing against his with a fury of matched intensity.
"Do I have your attention now?" Deeks asks as they finally separate.
She nods slowly, mismatched eyes wide with a hint of tearfulness. He brushes a few stray pieces of hair away from her face, tucking them behind her ear.
"I was going to say that I love you too, Kens."
Her heart lurches up into her throat, and she can't force any more words to escape her lips. It's not like it really matters though. Everything necessary has already been said.
She leans back in to wrap her arms around his middle once more, not at all hesitant this time.
"What can I do? Just name it and I'll do it. You know that I will."
"Just..." He sighs. "This."
"This?" She repeats, not relenting on her grip whatsoever but moving her head up so she can see his eyes.
God, they're just so blue.
Deeks nods, more tears coming forward to sit on the brims of his eyes.
"Just this."
A/N: A little disclaimer- I know that Deeks shot his dad when he was eleven, but I still wanted it to be added into the story. :)