Hello! Y'all are all amazing, as usual. Before you read this chapter, I briefly wanted to share with you my thoughts on the little 'I love you' confession that was made in chapters 5 and 6. Here, Kensi and Deeks are different. They're teenagers, and teenagers tend to say what they're feeling without a second though. (I am a teen, so I sympathize.) They're young, naïve and can act purely on instinct.
This isn't to downplay their confession whatsoever, because it was supposed to be 100% real. But I just wanted to say that, solely so you guys would keep it in mind as we proceed. :)
Please review as always! Muah!
-Hazel
Kensi walks down the stairs on the tips of her toes, hoping not to arouse Deeks if he's still sleeping. She yawns, the sound carrying across the small square footage of her house.
If possible, she would've stayed in bed for another hour or so. But with her sorta-kinda-maybe-but-still-definitely boyfriend just a floor below, she'd found catching some rest to be a rather trying task.
Peering her head around the doorway, she's shocked to find the couch completely empty. The blankets are folded up into a neat stack, the room completely desolate.
"Deeks?" She calls, making her way into the kitchen.
No response.
Glancing out the front window, her eyes catch on his swiftly moving figure. All she can see is a mop of unruly blond hair, but that's enough for her to know that it's him.
Clad in only a tee shirt and a pair of flannel pajama pants, Kensi runs out after him.
"Deeks!" She yells, tossing the front door open.
Dammit.
He was hoping to slip away just like that. No explanation, no word. Deeks would call her later, and say that he was sorry for leaving. That he'd just needed some space to think and breathe.
Upon waking up, everything had just hit him all at once. Exhaustion had almost wiped his mind clean as he'd fallen asleep that night, but by the morning the memories were clear as day.
He shot his own father. The man could be dead for all Deeks knew, but he hadn't really waited around to find out.
So he is just walking. No final destination, but keeping a brisk pace regardless.
"Deeks!"
Kensi calls out to him again, her voice just a touch more frantic the second time around.
He slows down as she runs through the dewy grass, stopping directly in front of him.
"What are you doing?"
"Um... walking."
She rolls her eyes, placing a hand on either hip.
"I'm asking where, Deeks."
He swallows, shoving a hand in each of his coat pockets. "Not sure. I just needed some space, I guess."
"Some space?" She repeats.
"Yeah."
"Why? What's wrong?"
Deeks can't tell if she's completely blanking on why he'd come over in the first place, or if she's just hoping to forget about it entirely.
"What do you think, Kens? I shot my dad!"
She slowly drops her eyes down to the pavement, mumbling a hushed apology.
"He could be dead, you know. But I didn't even bother sticking around to see. I ran."
"It's not your fault. You did the right thing-"
"How do you know that? Maybe I'm no better than him!" Deeks exclaims, heatedly taking a step forward. "And what if I killed him? What will I do then?"
Kensi doesn't have an answer for him.
"I... I don't know."
Deeks nods, fresh tears glistening in his bright blue eyes.
"Exactly. Nobody does."
He clenches up his jaw, maneuvering away from Kensi.
"Deeks, wait!"
As he just keeps on moving she turns to watch him go, silently wondering where he's headed and why she can't be there too.
It's been three days.
No phone call, no text message. Not a single word letting her know that he's alright. That his father is either alive or dead.
There's just... nothing.
She gets that he needs some space- she's honestly trying to understand it. Maybe if Kensi was in his place, she'd be feeling the exact same way? It's hard to sympathize when her life experiences are nothing like his.
But even with that in mind, Kensi can't make his sudden absence from her life hurt any less.
Deeks said that he loved her. Twice. A confession of that caliber is supposed to mean that she gets to help him work through all of it. The good and the bad.
Somehow though, the lines have become blurred. Rather than being allowed in, Kensi's been shut out- isolated from his life completely.
But he's still on her mind constantly.
Every word they'd said to one another on that Friday night. Every look, every tear, every embrace. No matter what, she just can't seem to move past any of it.
Then suddenly, it's Monday. Kensi assumes that she'll finally get to see him, and maybe pry some answers out of him.
Except there's a problem. He's not at school.
She's concerned during first period, but doesn't panic too much. Maybe he's just late?
But then her second class of the day comes along- and once again, no Deeks. They have separate third period classes though, so when the time finally rolls around she's anxiously tapping her foot, waiting to get out for lunch.
The bell rings and Kensi sprints towards the doorway, tossing her backpack over her shoulder as she runs. The line for food is too long so she just avoids it altogether, her eyes scanning the room for Deeks.
Her heart drops when her she doesn't find him anywhere. No head of wavy blond hair. No crooked grin.
It's time to panic, and she knows it. Had he gone home on Saturday morning, only to be taken away again? Foster care? Juvy? Her mind can only go to the worst possible conclusion.
Another thought pops into her head though, one that gives her a momentary sense of hopefulness.
Kensi avoids the stares of her friends and classmates, spinning around and hastily walking through the hallway- towards the courtyard. She pauses at her locker, throwing her backpack inside and not even bothering to lock it up before leaving again.
Stepping outide Kensi finds that it's pouring down rain, but she could care less. She shoves the door open, shivering as the water droplets catch on her hair and spill down the back of her neck.
In only a matter of seconds, she perks up- her pulse coming to a standstill.
He's there.
Sitting on a table in the center of an empty courtyard, alone and staring down at his hands. No jacket, just a damp tee shirt and pair of old, ripped jeans.
"Deeks!" Kensi hollers out as she approaches, both arms crossed firmly across her chest. Now that she knows he's alright, the anger that had been previously pushed aside in favor of worry begins bubbling up to the surface.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" She yells, running towards him.
He lifts his head, both eyes wide. But despite her rather aggressive demeanor, Deeks still manages to smile as he hops up from the bench. He's been expecting this- she is a spitfire, after all.
Kensi's thrown off by his reaction, but tries to continue on as if she's not.
"Where have you been! You said that you loved me, Deeks! That's supposed to mean something, but you didn't bother to call or text me for three days! I was terrified! I thought-"
Deeks presses his lips to hers, stealing the end of her sentence. This is becoming a regular recurrence- kissing Kensi just to shut her up.
He doesn't think it's too bad of a deal, and neither does she.
One hand cups her face, the other resting against her back. Kensi resists him for about three seconds, but can't keep her aggravated facade up for too long. She should probably view it as a rude interruption. Maybe.
But Kensi's heart is already his, so she assumes that she'll just have to put up with it.
Oh well.
"I'm sorry I didn't call," he murmurs finally.
She simply nods. The girl is a sucker for those baby blues.
"I know."
"I missed this."
Deeks drops another quick and rather lazy kiss to her lips.
"So did I. But will you ever just let me finish a thought?" Kensi asks, leaning her forehead against his.
"Not when I wanna kiss you."
Her eyes drift away from his, searching the space behind him.
"You know that we're at school, right?"
"I do."
"We could get in trouble."
He shrugs. "I've already skipped three classes."
A smile floods Kensi's features. "Then why not skip a few more?"
She desperately wants to get out of there- all day it's felt like she's gonna suffocate. A combination of an absent Deeks, florescent lights and heavily bleached floors.
Driving around with him towards an undetermined final destination will make her feel better, no doubt about it.
"You wanna get out of here?"
"I mean... it's raining. We could catch a cold. Leaving school early is probably in our best interest."
He nods, winking. "For our health."
Kensi smirks, reaching for his hand.
"Exactly. For our health."