Chapter 8: Intrusion
"Could you have chosen a bumpier road?" Ralph asked sarcastically, "My ass feels like someone bashed it with a sledge hammer." He added as he tried to rub his sore bottom sneakily. "We sincerely apologize sir!" The Chief guard said bowing. That's when Ralph figured it out, he was technically a Goron diplomat, meaning guards had to serve him whether they liked it or not. "No use in trying to take advantage of this." Ralph thought to himself. He knew that even though he was a Goron diplomat, only the eight guards who escorted him knew that. He was sure no other guards would believe that a human child was also a Goron official. "Yeah yeah, stand up already." He said breaking from his thoughts. It was getting kind of sad to watch high ranking officers bow before him. The guards all rose to their feet. "I guess we need to take you to the castle to speak with the king, he's in charge of affairs between the different races of Hyrule. The group walked through the drawbridge to Castle Town. Ralph stood in between the chief and one other guard, the rest of the soldiers walked next to horses, guiding them through the crowded market place. "Ralph!" a voice cried out. "Ralph! Over here!" it called again. Ralph brushed the hair from his face and scanned the area until he saw chubby cheeks and familiar red hair. "Stop." He ordered the guards. "I'll just be a minute." He assured them as he left their protective circle. He brushed through people in the crowded market as he made his way towards Malon. "Ralph!" She cheered as she ran towards him for a hug. "What brings you back to Castle Town? What's with the leather clothes? And… Wh-what happened to… Your ears?" She was excited to see her friend again and had started asking back to back questions. Ralph was just happy to see a familiar face so he couldn't complain. "It's good to see you too." He laughed. "I'll explain everything when I come back, I have some important business in the castle." Malon was astonished. You had to be a very important person to set foot in the actual castle. "Wow, there's more mystery to that guy than I thought." Malon said to herself as he walked back to the group of patiently waiting guards.
Ralph and the group of guards were on their way to the castle, they passed through a checkpoint and continued up the low path. "Couldn't we have just cut through the grass?" Ralph asked the chief. He didn't respond. They were about 30 feet from the next checkpoint when suddenly all the guards except for the chief stopped moving. "Stay by me." The Chief said to Ralph sternly. The two walked parallel to a large black gate as they approached the guards waiting for them at the checkpoint, but before they could get there, something interesting caught the blonde boy's eye. "Why is that fountain connected to the opposite side of this wall? Someone skinny enough could slip through." The guard chief didn't respond. "Halt! State your name and business." The checkpoint sentries ordered in unison. "I am Guard Chief Murphy, escorting this here diplomat of the Goron people." The sentries stood confused. "Is this a joke? Or are you really telling me that a human child is a diplomat for the Goron race?" One of them asked with a cynical tone. "I'm serious, picked him up today and he was being escorted by Goron." Ralph reached in his pocket and showed the sentry a large envelope with the Goron insignia on it. "Pah! You expect me to fall for this!" The sentry chuckled. "I know Guard chiefs don't rank high enough to escort diplomats without at least a captain with them." The sentry added. Chief Murphy tried to explain that they were sent because his cell was the only one in the area, but the sentry had already made up his mind, they weren't welcomed in the castle. Chief Murphy and Ralph walked back down the trail. "Well kid… I don't know what else I can do from here." Ralph paused for a moment. "I know what you can do." He said as he turned his attention to the odd fountain. "Throw me over this wall." The chief gave him a strange look. "I cannot lift you with enough force to send you over this wall." He argued. "No, but your men can." Ralph shot back, the chief detested the idea. "I refuse." He said sharply. Ralph looked him in the eyes and remembered the position he had been put in. "I order you to gather your men, and send me over this gate." The demeanor Ralph was now giving off could've sent chills through even the toughest man's spine. Chief Murphy could sense how serious Ralph was. "Okay… we'll do it." The soldiers made sure they were out of view before surrounding Ralph and lifting him off the ground and into the air. Whilst airborne, Ralph managed to shift his footing so that he landed perfectly on one of the narrow brick columns that separated every ten feet on gate. He hung over the column and dropped heavily to his feet. "Your services are no longer required, dismissed." He said to the group of soldiers through the fencing. They were happy to finally be rid of him, and walked off behind their chief as if the child never existed.
Ralph crept over to the fountain, he had to be careful because he was now just a ways behind the sentries who didn't want him there. He jumped across the moat and into the fountain's frame, then he crouched down and crawled through. The water rushed against his body and got into his face, he couldn't really see, but he kept crawling through the shallow water until his hand tripped on an obstacle. He got up and wiped his face as best he could. "That's the closest thing I've had to a shower since I've got here." He thought to himself. He was in the courtyard and figured he could rest easy for a while, but before he could put faith in that idea, he heard clinking footsteps approaching him from around some hedges. Ralph dashed for the opposite side of the bushes when he noticed another archway. "I'll hide over there!" He said to himself as he sprinted through the archway and behind more shrubbery. More footsteps where approaching, two pairs this time. "Dammit." Ralph cursed. He checked around the corner of the shrub. "Two guards, both walking counter clockwise about eight paces behind one another. This will be easy as long as they don't turn around." He timed his opportunity to break for the next archway. "Three… Two… One… Now!" He whispered to himself as he dashed towards the next part of the courtyard. It was high noon, and the sun seemed to be shining a ray of gold directly overhead. "No guards here." He said as he scanned the room. Ralph looked forward, only to be startled by what he saw. "Whoa! There's someone right in front of me, how did I miss that?" He asked himself, heart still racing from the quick scare. He looked at the girl in front of him, she was around his age, or his current age at least. She was wearing purple and white dress robes with a matching head ornament. "Hi, ummm… You wouldn't know where the king is would you?" Ralph asked the girl casually.
She turned around to face him, her dress robes twirling elegantly with her. She looked at him with deep blue eyes, long ears, clean-cut bangs, and a child-like yet serious face. Ralph thought to ask another question, but before he could open his mouth to speak, the girl gave him a quick jab to the throat. "ACK!.." Ralph choked. He staggered backwards and she followed up two more jabs to his face. "What the he-" His sentence was cut short by a knee to the abdomen, he could tell it was no use. This girl was a skilled martial artist, and she was trying to end him. The girl threw a strong kick, but Ralph ducked and countered with kick of his own. The girl staggered back. "Oh crap it landed!" Ralph thought to himself excitedly. It wasn't enough though. She dashed at him and threw four lightning fast punches. One to the face, two to the body, and one somewhere a lot less pleasant. His armor absorbed some of the shock but not all of it. He jumped back to make some distance between them. "That last one was a low blow! Don't they teach you fight etiquette where you're from?" He yelled at the girl. She smirked at him. "Considering you aren't on the ground groveling in pain, I guess I didn't hit too hard. Then again small targets have always been trouble for me." She sneered. "My balls aren't sm-ACK!" His vocals were interrupted by a powerful arm around his neck. Someone was choking him from behind. Ralph kicked and struggled for a few second before quickly faded out of consciousness.
Ralph awoke hog tied in the same place he passed out at. "What is your name boy?" A coarse voice asked. He turned his head to see a tall, muscular, white-haired woman standing over him. "My names Ralph, I came here to speak to the king about a serious issue involving the Hylian and Goron peoples." The woman looked at him with disbelief. "Very funny, now tell me the real reason you're here or I'll do to you what they do to a troublesome bull." She threatened. "Untie me and I'll prove it." The woman unsheathed a sword from her back and cut Ralph free of his bindings. He reached in his back pocket and showed her the envelope. "Sure enough that's the Goron seal. If they turned to a Hylian child for help, something must be terribly wrong." The woman said to herself. "Now do you see why I have to speak to the king?" Ralph asked. "Even if you're telling the truth, no one has seen daddy in three days. All the provinces of Hyrule are currently being held together by the province thanes." The girl intruded. "Wait did you say daddy? So you're…" "Yes, I am the duchess of this realm, Princess Zelda herself."