A/n: I apologise for the lack of chapters over the past few days. I had the long journey home from uni on Friday and have come down with a cold since then, but its time for me to knuckle down and get on with this story like you've all been requesting. Thanks so much for the support everyone. :)
"Is there something you wanted to ask me yourself Commander?" The Captain asked a moment or so after the doors had slid shut behind Seven of Nine. Chakotay's demeanour had piqued her curiosity somewhat; she'd presumed that he and Seven had just coincidentally come to see her at the same time, after all, what had Seven requesting a uniform have to do with him? Right now though, as he hovered by the doorway, a slight frown hanging over a distant gaze, Kathryn had a strong suspicion she was missing something and her years as the only Starfleet Captain in the Delta Quadrant had made her develop a dislike of that feeling, it was dangerous, especially where her crew were concerned. "Chakotay…" She prompted again, her voice trailing off as he gave a small start, his usually admirably composed eyes blinking at her as if he'd forgotten where he was.
Chakotay felt the uncomfortable warmth of embarrassment creep up his skin as he registered Janeway's searching and openly inquisitive gaze on him, wondering if she could have overheard his whispered question to Seven. He had the irrational feeling that if he looked at her directly now she would hear his thoughts, which would definitely be incriminating in her eyes… "Uh…" He stalled, running a harried hand through his hair as his mind hastily latched onto the first work related thought it could, "I finished the week's crew evaluation report last night if you want to see it…" Kathryn's raised eyebrow at that reminded him sharply that every other such report over the years had been sent from his desk's console to hers without a specific meeting to escort it, but it was too late now. Thankfully, and unusually for her, she didn't comment on the change in routine, though her lips twitched as if she were restraining the urge. Quickly, before she reconsidered, he moved over to the Ready Room's secondary console and swiftly downloaded the report to a PADD before bringing it to join the others already overwhelming Janeway's desk.
She picked it up immediately, obviously not ready to dismiss him. Well, a sarcastic inner voice taunted him; you do appear to be here just to deliver that report, so it must have something worthwhile in it. He wondered then, as he watched her scan-read, why he should feel the need to hide the fact that he'd just been here in order to serve as Seven's moral support. The Captain of all people should appreciate that, but a large part of him doubted that she actually would… She glanced up at him then, her focused, level gaze on his as she laid the PADD aside telling him that she'd seen right through the report excuse within a few seconds of starting to read it. "Thank you Commander, the crew seem to be doing well. You should probably talk to Seven about combining this with her personnel efficiency report."
Chakotay grimaced a little despite himself, unsure whether Janeway had mentioned Seven to unsettle him or if he'd entirely imagined it, a completely unintentional shot across his bow as it were. "I will Captain." He agreed smoothly, too practised an officer not to regain his composure speedily.
"I'm sure." The Captain replied, a thoughtful glint in her eye. "You were awfully quiet when Seven made her request."
Chakotay's jaw clenched as he heard the questioning note in her tone. Did she really, honestly, think he could be against it? "Actually…" He corrected her testily, too defensive to consider the wisdom of revealing anything, "Seven came to me to see what I thought of the idea first."
"Oh?" The Captain stated, her surprise evident. "I wouldn't have thought…" She stopped herself, obviously seeing Chakotay stiffen, but he could quite easily finish the statement, she wouldn't have thought Seven would've come to him. "Anyway…" She continued lightly, "I'm glad you decided to encourage her, this is a wonderful step forward." Her brow furrowed and she sighed as she watched him, deciding to brooch her first thought again. "You just didn't look too pleased while she was here that's all." She finished.
"Then you've misunderstood Captain." Chakotay answered a little too hotly, "I'm very pleased for Seven, of course I am, after all this time she deserves all the acceptance we can give her…"
"That's not how I see it at all." The Captain interrupted in a musing tone, "I think this signifies her acceptance of us Chakotay, of what's best for her. She's let go of the Borg now and embraced Starfleet."
"Maybe." Chakotay conceded as he unconsciously released a small sigh, "But you pushed Starfleet a little hard on her, Voyager itself is probably more important than Starfleet right now. Wanting a uniform to fit in with the rest of us doesn't mean she wants to be signed up for Academy entrance exams…"
"Icheb does." She countered defensively, sighing herself as Chakotay shot her a sharp glance, "Alright, I admit they're both individuals and that I shouldn't jump to conclusions." She stood up from her desk, taking her faithful coffee cup to the replicator for a fresh caffeine shot but meeting Chakotay's eyes over her shoulder. "I stand by the fact however that Starfleet would ultimately be the best place for Seven of Nine Chakotay, her attributes would be appreciated and…" A worried shadow passed over her face, "…her past wouldn't matter as much as it probably would in civilian life."
Chakotay swallowed as her point him him, icy fingers of concern clawing at him. "That's probably true." He admitted, surprised at the thickness in his voice as they shared an empathic look, "But that's for Seven to decide for herself." He added firmly.
Kathryn nodded slowly, studying him intently as she did so. "You've gotten closer to her recently haven't you?" She remarked softly, continuing before he could answer, "I should probably stop worrying about that holodeck incident shouldn't I?"
Chakotay flinched, the off-hand comment shocking him more than the more impassioned words of just moments before. "Captain?" he asked tersely.
She gave him a slightly apologetic look, thinking he was still sore over her reaction to his refusal to relieve her worries. The refusal itself still angered her, but at least she could smooth it over by conceding that what had fuelled her concerns had mostly faded with time. "Well, I've decided that she can't have been doing anything too self-destructive with her time in the holodecks if it's helped her reach you Chakotay. Helping her is worthwhile, I promise you."
Chakotay felt numb as her words sunk in. "Thank you Captain." He forced out, the words burning his throat even as he gave a self-conscious shudder, his mind suddenly churning. "I…I'd better be getting back on duty now." The stale words barely had time to reach the Captain's ears before he turned away and walked straight out of the room, not waiting to be dismissed as the sick feeling of guilt he thought he'd pushed away returned, having grown greater and more vengeful in its short absence from his heart and mind. He looked down at the hand he'd used to hold Seven back as she too had left, the fingers beginning to shake under his gaze as self-hatred hammered into him. What was he doing? Had he really believed that just because his feelings had changed he now had the right to hide the facts about their development from Seven? He had always intended to tell her, had planned to tell her on Ledosia for God's sake, why hadn't he? Her right to know hadn't lessened, in fact it had grown with every minute he'd spent with her since. Of course, it didn't need much self-analysis to know precisely why he hadn't one ahead with his intention, he now feared her reaction more than ever, more accurately what it meant for him. She'd be angry with him, upset, and now that was the last thing he wanted, but did he have a right to let his own feelings dictate anything? He'd brought this on himself after all, and knew that he deserved at least some anger for his intrusion. If he never told her then he wouldn't need to face up to the guilt of hurting her, since she'd never know of it, but could he really develop a real, lasting relationship with someone while carrying that guilt around? He sighed heavily, oblivious to the curious stares of the Bridge crew who'd just gotten over Seven new appearance before she returned to Astrometrics. He knew the answer to that. He'd have to be honest, and then accept the consequences.
A/n: PLEASE REVIEW! :D I did honestly intend for this chapter to be longer, but I'm still not feeling that great so writing is taking a lot out of me. I hope you still liked it though; I'll deal with the reaction to Seven's uniform in the next chapter, since lots of people requested to read that. :)