Seven had intended to return to Astrometrics as soon as she left the Ready Room, she'd delayed her shift there for long enough today, but the sudden shift in atmosphere as she stepped back onto the Bridge made her freeze within a few steps of the Ready Room's door. The usual activity of Voyager's hub, happily ticking over merely seconds before, had ceased abruptly. Since all of its inhabitants had their eyes riveted on her, Seven could only conclude that she was the reason for this burst of inefficiency. The urge to run back into the Ready Room and change back into her biosuit rushed through her mind, but, considering that idea counterproductive, she restrained any sign of unease except swallowing back a small lump forming in the back of her throat as she said, "Is there something I can do for you?" The words sounded harsh even to her own desensitised ears, more accusatory than she'd intended, but she hadn't asked for this attention and didn't hesitate to mirror their stares in her own expression as she awaited an answer.

Several people flinched at her question, but from the red that tinged their cheeks and the way they looked away from her for a moment, Seven guessed they were embarrassed by their own conduct rather than offended by her own. She heard a familiar chuckle and focused on Tom Paris with more than a little relief. He had, characteristically, recovered himself first and as he met her gaze his own was as open as ever and as he spoke his tone was one of easy warmth and curiosity. "I think we were all just a little…shocked by the uniform Seven." He explained honestly, "Not that you don't look great…" he added, flashing her a quick grin before shooting a dazed Harry a teasing glance.

Seven set her shoulders back, not sure how to reply to that when everyone else seemed so…disconcerted by her. "Thank you Lieutenant…" She finally began to reply stiltedly.

"What happened?" Ensign Daltrey suddenly asked loudly, cutting her off. "Did the Captain order you to wear that?"

Seven couldn't suppress a flinch as she heard his anger at the idea woven into his voice. "No…" She admitted, stiffening as she noticed the quiver in her answer before continuing in a stronger tone, "I asked the Captain to be allowed to wear a Starfleet uniform and she granted my request."

Even Daltrey seemed to be affected by that, caught off guard. "Why would you do that?" he questioned in genuine amazement.

Seven couldn't hold back a small sigh, part of her, the logical, detached part which she'd relied on almost exclusively for so long, had been asking that same question. She realised she was taking a long time to answer as Daltrey cleared his throat and decided that there was little point in hiding her alteration of perspective. "I believe I may be more cohesive with the crew this way, perhaps 'blend in' more effectively than I have before." She replied, her soft thoughtful tone, more to herself in many ways than her assembled crewmates.

"An honourable, and logical, goal Seven." Tuvok stated levelly from his post at Tactical, pointedly holding her gaze for a moment before calmly ending the brief pause in his work and focusing again on his console.

Tuvok's reassuring words, as close to a declaration of approval as the carefully reserved Vulcan ever came, was enough to push the others forward and Seven was suddenly surrounded by a cloud of positive babble. Harry Kim even moved towards her from the console, smiling at her sheepishly, feeling ashamed that it had taken him so long to speak up, but he couldn't help that Seven's new look had left him more tongue tied than ever around her. He took a deep breath as he began, "It's great Seven, I'm glad you asked, but you were always a part of the crew anyway."

A knot of tension she'd barely been aware of slackened in Seven's stomach so suddenly that she was startled by the mist that formed a veil over her eyes for a moment until she blinked it away, "I appreciate the sentiment Ensign." She murmured thickly, lowering her gaze as she composed herself and shivering as, unbidden, the image of the troubled glint in Chakotay's eyes as he'd seen her in the uniform haunted her again, diminishing any short burst of relief and pleasure.

Tom took the blue accented shoulder of her new uniform in his friendly grasp. "My only sentiment is why you don't have any pips Seven. Living Voyager has been better training than Starfleet Academy could ever be!" He laughed to himself, perceiving just as Seven did that many people stiffened and frowned at his words, but he simply ignored them. He wasn't one to hide his opinions, nor to bow to the pretentiousness of some Academy alumni either.

Seven couldn't be so indifferent however, though as she felt hot blood rush uncomfortably to her face she wished she was. She was too pragmatic to devalue her own intelligence and capability, but also knew that requesting a rank she hadn't earned in the traditional manner would've been a step too far for her to take in the eyes of most of the crew. Witnessing the lingering, though now relatively minor, trials the Maquis crewmembers faced had vividly taught her that. "Perhaps." She muttered, the only concession she dared make to Tom's kindness. Sensing that she outstayed her welcome, and more than ready to slide back into some form of normality, she turned swiftly to Tuvok, "I will return to Astrometrics now." She informed him mutedly.

"Of course." Tuvok agreed smoothly, indicating by his tiny frown in the direction of the others that they were to return to work themselves as Seven quickly disappeared into the turbolift.

A rush of air escaped her chest as soon as the turbolift doors closed behind her and she had to take several deep breaths before she could restore her body to a calm equilibrium and issue the direction to Astrometrics. As the turbolift reached Deck Six, she plunged forward out of the confined space and strode rapidly towards her refuge.

"Seven!" Naomi Wildman's voice ringing down the hall brought her to a halt as the young girl reached her, beaming in surprise and delight. "You got a uniform!"

Seven felt her lips curve up fondly at the sound of her rampant enthusiasm but was too drained to give the full explanation she'd been cornered into on the Bridge. "Yes." She confirmed simply.

"Well, it looks awesome!" Naomi declared before apparently deciding that would be her last opinion on the matter, "I was just coming to Astrometrics to visit you, are you going there?"

"I am." Seven responded, letting herself mimic Naomi's pleased smile as the child confidently put her small hand in her cybernetic one and began to walk with her companionably. "Is there any particular reason why you wanted to see me?" she asked.

"Not really." Naomi replied cheerily, "But Neelix did say he might arrange a kadiskot tournament for tonight, do you want to go with me?"

Seven paused momentarily, feeling embarrassed. It would probably be awkward to explain why she had an engagement with Chakotay. "I cannot attend tonight Naomi, I…" she started regretfully.

Naomi grinned knowingly up at her, "You have a date right?" she finished, "With Commander Chakotay?" She giggled as she saw Seven's speechless amazement, but then, always older than her years in some ways, she gave her friend's hand a reassuring squeeze, "I helped Neelix give the Commander a cooking lesson this morning, I guessed he might be doing it for you."

Why did you guess that? Seven longed to ask, but she reigned herself in and said instead, as lightly as she could, "Then I'm sure I will eat a pleasant meal tonight."

"You will, me and the Commander made sure Neelix didn't put any Leola root in the recipe." Naomi told her confidently before looking over Seven's uniform again, "Do you think I'll get a uniform like yours someday Seven?"

Seven smiled at her then, pushing thoughts of her evening ahead aside for now. "You will if that is your goal. Yours will be red however, as befits a Captain's assistant."

"Yeah…" Naomi said wistfully before adding as they reached Astrometrics, "Maybe I can work in Astrometrics too though."

"I would certainly like that." Seven admitted warmly as they stepped inside to join Icheb.

Chakotay pensively glanced at the door, his stomach clenching in preparation for a twisting flip flop as he felt the time tick away, growing closer every second to Seven's agreed arrival time, and he knew she'd be perfectly punctual. Distractedly lowering the heat on his kitchenette's tiny cooker, he stepped out into the living area, feeling overheated as well as overwhelmed. The decision he'd come to just hours ago about telling Seven the whole truth, not only about his feelings now but how exactly they'd come to be realised, was gnawing at him more intensely than ever as he approached actually being faced with her. It would hurt her badly, and rightfully so, he knew that, but he also knew that hiding it from her would taint his relationship with her forever if he wasn't honest. Still, he kept asking himself, what right did he have to wreck Seven's peace of mind just to restore his? He wasn't even sure that telling her wouldn't make him feel worse than he did hiding it. He was trusting that she'd forgive him when she understood his side of it, that he'd never meant to hurt her and that he never would again if that was in his power, but what if she didn't, couldn't, forgive him? She was happy with him now, if he kept this a secret who was to say they wouldn't keep being happy if she never knew? The memory of his earlier conversation with the Captain brought back his greatest fear however, if he let things grow more serious between himself and Seven, and then she found out what he had done from another source, that would be his true betrayal. No, his only option now, as deep in as he was, was to lay out his cards, his heart, in front of her and see what she would do.

The unmistakable buzz of transporter behind him made him jump violently and spin around to face the intruder in all readiness. In fact, he was faced only with Seven of Nine's clear blue gaze, her head unconsciously cocked a little to the side as she studied his shocked reaction inquisitively. "Am I early?" she queried, an anxious edge to her neat voice.

Chakotay stared at her, his gaze caught somehow on the way her loose waves of golden hair danced with her every moment. He realised he'd never seen her with her hair fully down outside of her holodeck programmes. "You're right on time." He answered honestly after a quick glance at the clock, but couldn't stop his brow furrowing with a question of his own, "Is there something wrong with the door?"

Seven started, she'd considered the impropriety of walking to the First Officer's quarters dressed as she was, but had perhaps dismissed too readily the prospect of offending him with her unannounced transport. Humans were obsequious about their privacy after all. "No…" She tried to answer, flushing more as her tongue began to stumble over her reasoning, "I thought it would be inappropriate, attract undue…attention, if I came to the First Officer's quarters at night, let alone dressed neither in uniform nor a biosuit…" She gestured down at herself, tugging self-consciously at the neckline of her cowl neck sweater, chosen because the collar disguised the bump of the Doctor's cortical monitor placed under her collar bone. Keeping her hair down also served to disguise it, rather than for any aesthetic purpose. If he knew about the failsafe in any way, particularly that she was only halfway into the process of its removal, this date would end before it had properly begun.

Chakotay ran a hand through his hair, her nervousness of being close to him around others was starting to bother him. "I guess I didn't think of that side of it. I'll just need to forget about the unauthorised use of the transporter systems won't I?"

Seven inhaled sharply, her eyes shooting to his, but upon seeing a smile tugging at his lips and a bright twinkle in his absorbing gaze, she soon smirked back. "I suppose you will Commander."

"Don't call me…" Chakotay began to rebuke her automatically, before starting to laugh as she arched an eyebrow at him.

Seven allowed a small laugh to leave her own lips before the alluring smell of cooking food reminded her of her conversation with Naomi. "How is your experiment with cooking proceeding?"

Chakotay stared at her in surprise before his face fell comically. "Which one of them told you?" he asked with an exaggerated sigh.

"Naomi Wildman." Seven answered as she walked into the kitchenette. Her face became pensive as she took in his preparations, "You were not obliged to go to this much trouble…" She murmured uneasily.

Chakotay's fingers laced firmly around her elbow, directing her face back towards his, "I wanted to do it Seven." The conviction and sincerity in his voice made Seven's skin warm up and the arm he held began to tingle. "I needed to improve my cooking skills anyway." He added lightly, his grip on her loosening until his hand just settled resting in the crook of her arm. "I promise there's no Leola root or anything remotely like it anywhere near what we're going to eat."

"Naomi already assured me of that." Seven informed him with a smile, "It is a good thing, I'm not sure if my tactics to avoid consuming it would've been effective with you after you dared me to use them on Neelix." His full laughter at that was soon joined by hers, but she was still mildly curious. "What are you making then?"

Chakotay grinned at her, "The famous 'Talaxian tenderloin in ten minutes' of course."

Seven nodded, but then gave a small frown. "Didn't you learn that at the cooking class weeks ago? Why did you need to be instructed again?"

Chakotay winced a little but tried to hide it, "My culinary talents aren't honed enough to remember a recipe after one try Seven…" He sighed as he realised she wasn't buying that entirely, "Actually, I never went to that cooking class after you…er…refused to go."

Seven stiffened guiltily but still wasn't sure what that meant, why had her lack of participation stopped him then? "You didn't?" she asked, her voice tight with disbelief.

Chakotay shook his head slowly but gently pulled her closer to him as she started to tense. "It doesn't matter." He said dismissively, unhappy that the previously teasing mood had dissipated but also knowing that seriousness had to come. "Why were you worried about how you're dressed tonight?" he asked softly, his hand travelling down to hers and squeezing it, "You're beautiful."

Seven ducked her head shyly, it seemed the air had thickened between them, she was struggling to breathe. "Thank you Chakotay, but since the crew are still adapting to my uniform, I did not want to shock them further."

Chakotay's breath unconsciously became heavier as his eyes swept over her. As well as the long cowl neck sweater, a blush pink to bring colour to her pale face, she was wearing a straight black skirt that just grazed the tops of her knees. Her legs were hidden by thick black tights so she was actually very covered up, but in a way he preferred this to the knockout dress of the night before, she looked more approachable and relaxed. "The only way they'd be shocked is in a good way Seven, you're stunning, literally."

Seven's grateful smile in return was a little wobbly as she thought of her earlier confrontation on the Bridge. "Perhaps." She conceded, "The crew seemed to have varying views on it today."

"Well…" Chakotay began, then reconsidered as he caught her subtle but anxious glance his way. "I for one am sorry I wasn't as enthusiastic in the Ready Room today as I should have been, that wasn't really about the uniform…" He trailed off but decided to explain as he realised that Seven was listening intently, desperately. "The Captain's take on it threw me off guard, I don't want you to feel pushed into Starfleet…"

Seven touched his arm to stop him, sighing wryly. "Don't worry on that account. That is just the Captain's way. Starfleet is her vocation, she likes to believe everyone would be better off within it."

Chakotay relaxed as he heard the truth in what she said, but he was more intrigued than ever now. "Do you agree?" he asked quietly, "Do you think you'd be better off in Starfleet if and when we return to Earth?"

Seven bit her lip, shifting back from him as she pondered a question she'd asked herself repeatedly. "I do not know." She admitted, her throat clenching, "I do not know what will happen to me if we return, I try not to think of it…" She swallowed hard and tried to collect herself, "Undoubtedly, I'd need to at least be debriefed by every level of Starfleet about my knowledge of the Collective but as for what they'd let me do after that…" Her voice broke with dread.

"Seven…" Chakotay interrupted, guiding her onto the couch and sitting down beside her, "No one has control of your life anymore except you yourself. Starfleet, nor anything or anyone else, can't stop you from living life like you want to, alright?" He smiled in relief as she nodded shakily, "You won't be alone either, all of the crew are going to face those same issues when we get home to some extent." He told her seriously, taking one of the hands she was distractedly twisting in her lap, "I can promise you though that I won't be more than a transport away from you if you ever want me."

"I will…" Seven admitted brokenly, flushing bright red as she realised what she'd said but then just ran a strained hand over her face as she met his gaze again. "I may be compatible with Starfleet; Voyager has accustomed me to it somewhat." She mused thoughtfully, leaning forward, "However, I have never really been a civilian in my life, it might be better to explore that instead…" She stopped as she felt Chakotay's gaze intensify, "What's wrong?" she asked sheepishly.

"Nothing." He assured her quickly, absently reaching forward to brush a strand of her hair behind her ear, his hand lingering on the blonde tresses. "You just really surprise me sometimes."

Maybe it was the touch of his hand so near to her face, his openly affectionate tone, or the warmth in his dark eyes as he said that, which made the uncalled for thought that she could surprise him much more flit across Seven's mind, but in truth that thought barely had a chance to occur to her at all before she acted on impulse and pressed her lips to his. She realised the enormity of what she'd just done as soon as their lips met, but his immediate response, his warm mouth moulding around hers, made every thought of pulling back from him fly out of her mind. Only a physical need for air broke through her numbed mind enough to make her pull back after those few prolonged seconds and suddenly the two of them had resumed their previous position, face to face on the couch. Seven felt the badly needed air stick in her throat as their eyes locked without a word being spoken. "I'm…" She breathed, further words dying on her lips as she realised she had no idea what to say. Chakotay's gaze, already intense, had darkened until his eyes looked black in the low light rather than their normal cosy brown. Meeting that expression somehow brought on dizziness in her as she felt her heartbeat ignore its regular rhythm and skip continually.

Something in her face must've changed then because his hand suddenly ran down her hair and cupped her chin, the other arm looping around her waist as he pulled her back into him. The kiss was deeper this time, Seven found herself responding with eager instinct to his cues and he immediately reciprocated by intensifying the passion further. Chakotay was blissfully lost in her until her hand curling around his shirt, her fingertips brushing his hot skin under the open collar, and the feel of her tilting in his arms brought the knowledge of just what he was doing flooding painfully back and when they had to break for air the spell of the moment shattered around him.

"I…" He forced out as his chest heaved, his entire body still pulsating with desire and arousal. "I need to…" He stopped again, freezing as she looked at him skittishly, "We have to talk…"

Seven twisted her head away, the panicky note in his voice making a shiver of warning run up her spine which pushed away the heat of the moment. "No." She assured him hurriedly, her voice catching, "We need never discuss this again." She started to scramble up from the couch, "I apologise for my actions…"

Chakotay's hand flew out to stop her standing up, suddenly his skin was ice cold. "God no, Seven, you have nothing to be sorry for…" He felt her stiffen as she sensed a platitude and tried desperately to recover his wits, "I need to explain something to you…please." She reluctantly turned to face him again, her lips were still bright red from their kisses but the rest of her was white with dread as she nodded slowly. He had to look away from her as he tried to drag up the words, they wouldn't come with her looking at him like that. "I knew you had feelings for me…"

Seven's hands clutched her knees until her nails pierced the tights she wore. "I would say that I just made that obvious." She choked out, humiliation making her stomach churn.

Chakotay felt a painful lump in his throat start to suffocate his voice as he nodded heavily in agreement. "Yes…" He whispered, "But I knew about it before." He gulped hard and had to bury his face in his hands to bring the words out, "I saw your simulations of me."

The feel of Seven's hand moving to his arm made him meet her gaze. He had never seen Seven, the most intelligent woman he'd ever known, look so utterly uncomprehending before. "I don't understand…" She said faintly, her stare so vague that she seemed to look through him rather than at him.

"I…I know you don't." He admitted thickly, gently putting his hand over hers, "I wish it wasn't true but…I watched your simulations of…of us on the holodeck…"

Registering what he'd just said seemed to take her a long time, but when it hit her it hit her violently. She ripped her hand, her whole body from him and frantically backed away from him until her shuddering back slammed into the arm of the couch. She was like a cornered animal. Chakotay physically hurt to see her like that, to the point where he couldn't say anymore. A sickened, tremulous gasp left Seven's throat as she was met with his silence. "No…" She rasped out, "Why would you…"

"The Captain was worried about your holodeck use, she asked me to check up on you…" Chakotay began, though he knew that wasn't an excuse and the strangled sound from Seven as she staggered up from the couch proved it. "I know I should have refused, but I was concerned too Seven! I was going to lie, but then I looked quickly and…and it was eye-opening seeing you like that…"

"I'm sure it was." Seven interrupted, blunt and bitter despite the sob he could hear behind the words. Her arm swung around to encircle the room in a frustrated gesture, "This was all out of pity?" she barked harshly, her shaking back to him.

"No!" Chakotay cried out, "This was real Seven, I've never lied to you, that's why I needed to be honest about…"

"Stop!" Seven almost shrieked, squeezing her eyes shut as agony hit her head in waves, practically blinding her. "Just stop it…please." She whispered hoarsely as she tried to breathe, stepping further away from him.

"Seven…" Chakotay choked as he tried to approach her, tears of guilt and fear burning at his throat and eyes. "I can't stop how I feel now anymore than I can change what I did, I'm asking you to try to forgive…"

Seven spoke as if she hadn't heard him, her voice disturbingly cold and robotic, eerily reminiscent of the drone she'd once been. "Tell me Commander, what is considered more piteous? Someone merely losing themselves in the fantasy in first place or that person prolonging it until they believe it's their reality?" She stumbled forward at a run, all remnants of that eerie self-control gone as she bolted from the room.

A/n: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! :D