The moment I sit in the chair questions start bombarding me and soon enough the eldest start arguing. Godric and Ian are taking my side, Luke and that bitch are opposing them, and my brother and Eric keep it neutral. I turn to make an eye-contact with my brother a couple of times but it is all in vain as he is, as it looks, in deep shock. Eric isn't very talkative either, so I am left empty-handed.

"How can you explain her disappearance then!?" hisses Luke at Ian.

I flinch at his tone and am about to stand up and give him a piece of my mind when I catch Godric glaring at me, obviously telling me to sit on my ass and keep my mouth shut, so I lean back in my chair and wait patiently. And I intended to keep it that way until I sense a faint smell lingering in the air. It seems familiar to me and I look around for the source of it, despite the fact that whoever bled in here should be long gone. That's when I spot the glass full of blood sitting on the table, long forgotten by the ginger-haired woman; the substance in it is definitely blood but its unnatural colour makes me think that it isn't human's.

I glance at the arguing vamps and when I make sure they won't notice me I stand up and go near the table. Taking the glass in my hand I sniff the liquid. 'Oh my God! Vampire blood?!' the shock is written all over my face, I know, as I leave the glass back on the coffee table.

I quickly return to my previous spot then glance over at my brother and catch him staring at me. He turns his head away from me and I feel a pang in my chest. Gritting my teeth I turn to Eric but he is looking out of the window, lost in his own thoughts, so I look at the arguing vamps in front of me again. They all seen so calm, yet the venom dripping from their words, the sly irritation and unhidden hints can't fool anybody. I know they are all on the edge, waiting for a chance to start a fight. 'Leaving won't be a smart move…' I muse and again look at my brother for help but in vain. His head is bowed low, his elbows resting on his knees, his face hidden in his hands.

And as I sit there it clicks to me how to get out of the room without being followed by a bunch of angry vamps. As I relax in my chair I try to recall all the things I had learned during my time as a breather. It had been so long ago since I last practised it but the moment I let my consciousness go I feel the pull. It is like something grabbed me and pulled me out of cold water. The feeling is close to the one after somebody manages to pull you out of the depths of the sea, seconds before you drawn, and the first sip of air you take brings you back.

The whole process of letting go of the material world and embracing the spiritual one takes me a second or two. After I open my eyes I now feel rather than see. My senses are a bit blurred but quickly that inconvenience disappears and I'm now standing in a room full of colours. There is no furniture in my new vision, rather than a palette of colours, some of emotions – mainly red around the arguing four, some yellow and blue around Jason and Eric, which meant that the blondes were anxious, sad, depressed etc. Looking around I see my own 'dead' form sitting in the chair, a cloud of green dust floating around. But the thing that worries me the most are the colours that show state of soul. As I glimpse at souls in the room I notice that Godric's soul, unlike last time, sparkles and swiftly moves around. Unlike him, that ginger-haired bitch's soul has the whole freaking red and yellow palette in her! Luke's soul I skip to see as a trace of bluish dust catches my attention. It's faint, almost unnoticeable, due to the hour distance, but I know that it's exactly what I'm looking for. Leaving my body behind I follow the trace down the corridor, past the wooden doors and in the dungeon where my 'greeting' ritual had taken place. I can't see if the room is still the same but I lack the need to as the colours that swirl here make me feel strange.

Contrary to general opinion when in this form the soul feels everything, including pain, sorrow, happiness and fear. And after I examine the colours for another moment I sense a ball of fear and rage settling in me. I near the farthest wall and spot someone's soul… or at least what's left of it. The light is gone, the colours are dull but not because the person is sad or lost, but because he or she is dying. I need nothing more so in a blink of an eye I'm back in the living room and in my body. The sudden reconnection makes me jolt like I had been struck by a lightning, a gasp for air leaving my lips. I lift my head only to see that everybody is looking at me. I catch Ian's eyes and I see the sorrow and regret in them just like the last time, but unlike then now I know why they are present. I jump on my feet only to be pushed roughly back by Luke.

"And where d'ya think y're going, missy!?" he snarls at me.

Without paying him any attention I rush out of the room, through the corridor, then down the stairs and through the door until I stop, finally reaching the dungeon. In the very far end I hear a muffled cry of agony and a familiar scent washes over me. Chanel 5.

"SABLE!" I yell as I rush next to her coiled form.

She tenses up and makes a weak attempt to pull away, but I grab her gently around the shoulders and position her head on my lap. She is shaking like a leaf, bleeding and most of all – dying. Her skin is so pale that I can see her purple veins; her lips have lost their puffiness and cherry redness and are now greyish and cracked. As she opens her mouth I expect to see her sharp fangs but that doesn't happen. No fangs are present in her mouth. The place where they are supposed to be is now swollen and still bleeding. By the sight of this I feel my stomach clench.

"Tell me who did this to you." I whisper in her ear as I bent down.

Her lips move but only muffled words come out. I lean even closer and this time I hear a name. I gently push the hair out of her face and without looking back I call Eric.

"Carry her up and call somebody who can cure her."

He looks at her then at me and kneels down next to us. He gently grabs Sable and carries her out the room. I turn around and spot the gleeful smile on Sophie-Anne's face. She mocks me. Tempts me. And I'm willing to take the bait only to smash her face in the nearest wall. But Ian acts faster than me and gets in my way.

"Move." I hiss.

"I can't let you do this, Childe. I know she had caused your friend great pain but challenging her won't do you any good."

"You all knew!?"

"Ah… " my Maker is in a loss of words and I turn my attention towards Godric.

His face is as stoic as ever, only a few wrinkles around his eyes show me that he actually is amazed.

"Did you know?" I whisper as my eyes water.

The very thought itself that Godric knew about Sable's state and didn't tell me sounds unreal.

"He didn't know. Nor did Eric. Only me and…" Ian stops and looks away.

"Hah. What a fuss about a mistake of nature like that French trash." Chips Sophie-Anne as she takes a sip of her drink while looking directly at me.

This time I snapped. A rush of hatred hits me like a tidal wave and I let it consume me. Fully. But yet again, before I even managed to grab her by the ridiculous hair, a pair of strong hands stops me. My back is suddenly firmly press against Godric's chest, his strong arms keeping me at place. But it's all in vain as my rage is blinding me.

"Let me go! I'll kill her!" I yell, but the grip around me doesn't loosen.

Seeing no way around this situation the brunet pins me to the wall, his hands holding my wrists above my head, his hips pressing mine in an attempt to stop me.

"Stop it! Look at me!" unlike his usual calm tone his voice now is angry and he barely contains himself from shouting at me.

"Let me go, damn you!" I continue to struggle.

"Ian, get them out of here."

"But…" my maker's poor attempt for contradiction is stopped by Godric's growl.

"Now!"

In a blink of an eye they are all gone but I can still hear the ginger's sinister laugh from the first floor.

"Let me go!" I'm now shouting, my fangs bared at him.

"Stop yourself!"

"Fuck off!"

"As your Sheriff I command you to take hold over your emotions. And it would be in your favour if you do not disobey me." The warning in his voice is clear so I stop struggling. My body goes limb and only his hold keeps me standing as tears start streaming down my face.

I slump down the wall a little bit, the ancient vampire's hands loosening their grip around my wrists a little bit while his hips and chest are still press against mine, keeping me on his eyelevel. Before I can stop myself a hiccup and a quiet howl skip through my lips, even more bloody tears running down my cheeks, as the realisation that my friend almost got killed thanks to me, hits me.

"Hey." Godric's whisper in my ear makes me huff.

"It's entirely my fault. Thanks to me she is in this state! If I hadn't chicken out after Jason told me…." I stop there as my throat clenches painfully, blocking all my words.

"Hey. It's all going to be alright. Sable will be taken care of. Eric won't let her out of his sight." He gently caresses my hair and runs his fingers through my locks. "Your brother told me what had upset you so much. And no, we will not talk about your abrupt departure of the nest now. " he tells me softly when he sees my sudden change of moods. "But you shall be punished once everything is back in place, little one." He adds lowly, his breathe tickling my ear. A sudden rush of heat washes over my sensitive senses and a whimper, my greatest shame, escapes from me.

"Godric…" his name leaves my lips like a prayer.

I search for his eyes but he looks away, trying to hide his feelings. He knows that the only way I can see him, all of his emotions and fears, is through those orbs of his.

"Look at me." I whisper, as I slowly move my body, creating slight friction between us.

He hisses lowly and turns his head towards me, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"Spare me, Godric." I murmur, my eyes travelling from his eyes down to his lips. 'God, I wanna kiss you so much!' "Be my redemption…or end my misery right now."

The ancient vampire intakes loudly the unneeded oxygen as he searches my eyes and face for any signs of falsehood. I stay still, letting him look at me closely.

"If you seek answers, you won't find them on the outside but rather…" I free my right hand from his low grip, take one of his, and place it over my non-bearing heart " here…"

And then I let my walls grumble down before this man's eyes. It takes no more than a second for centuries old barriers to fall, and leave me bare for the whole world to see. Only once have I let them all fall, only once letting myself admit defeat and after then I had promised myself to never, ever, let another man see my truly. Yet here I am now, breaking that promise after two centuries.

"This is me." I whisper as wave after wave of memories, emotions, feelings and hurt wash over both of us.

I stand still, trying not to flinch under the Sherriff's tense gaze. I see his body stiffing and relaxing, his chest raising and falling fast, the pupils of his eyes expanding and contacting. I feel a string, thinner than thread but stronger than steel, connecting us. I don't break our gaze or let his hand go as colour after colour hits Godric's soul, letting him see what I have seen, letting him know what I know and allowing him to feel everything I have ever felt. And as I perceive the time loosing it's meaning and power over us I force my walls up around both of us. The basement disappears in a void of nothingness, tagging along all materialistic things, leaving only our colours to collide, dance, mix, flow around, and touch innocently.

"This is pure magic." I hear Godric's voice, filled with awe.

"No. This is us. The real us! " I reply as I send a wave of happiness and comfort his way.

Not a word more is said for what seems like days, but I know only a few minutes have passed. Soon it's time for the veil to be lifted and emotions to be hid. I try to memorise as much as I can from the brunet's soul, having more colours and less cracks now.

Before I know it we are back in the moist basement and I feel my legs turning into jelly. As my body goes down the wall two strong, yet gentle, hands catch me. My lids are heavy now and I know I'm about to faint, yet I struggle with the tempting void that calls me, enough to repeat my plea:

"Spare me or kill me."

And then the world vanishes, the only thing that I manage to glimpse before fainting, are the two blue orbs looking at me.

Silence. That is what greets me when I finally gain my consciousness back enough to make at least one of my heightened senses work. Yet not even someone's even breathing can be heard. I still fail to move my limbs as they feel heavier now and all my stamina is gone. 'Wake up…' I try to talk myself into doing something but even thinking takes my energy away. 'Shit!'

And just like that all the sounds around me hit my delicate hearing. It feels like the wall that separates me and the rest of the world disappeared in a puff of smoke. I hear at least four voices but they all mix together, yell at each other, hiss, curse, whine and I find it impossible to understand even a word. Moreover my head is pounding now and the noise only worsens it. 'Shut up!' I yell and suddenly all the hustle and bustle vanishes. 'Why thank you!'

"Sookie?!"

Unexpectedly a male's voice breaks through my soundproof bubble and reaches me. It is painfully familiar and brings a whole short film along. I find it really strange how a person's voice can unlock a storm of memories.

A sharp intake of breath brings me back. I had been peacefully and blissfully asleep, drifted away from the painful reality and bitchy karma for no more than 24 hours! It becomes obvious that somebody out there just doesn't want me to be left alone for a while. My eyelids flutter open and the bright light blinds me for a second but I get used to it. The first face I see is Godric's. His soft blue orbs are gazing at me worriedly and I barely manage to crack a smile his way before a terrible headache makes me squeeze my eyes shut.

"Shit!" I curse lowly and make a frail attempt to turn to one side as lying on my back seems to only worsen the newly appeared pain.

"Godric make them leave…" I mumble as I bury my head deeper into the softness of the pillow.

In a hush the room is basically empty. Suddenly a wave of laziness washes over me and I feel as if I'm about to fall asleep again. The sound of the puffing of the bed warns me that someone, named Godric, has just climbed next to my almost unconscious form.

"Mmhpmmm…. I feel like a bull played step dance over me… " I mumble into the pillow.

I hear Godric moving again and the mattress swings lightly under his weight. When he finally stops I feel his hot breath on my neck and instantly stiffen. His proximity makes me wonder what exactly flows in his head. The next thing I know the warm and comfy duvet is tossed aside and my T-shirt is ripped open. I'm about to yell and scold him but a soft pressure over my neck stops me. Before I start having any strange ideas the pressure vanishes and it's his hot breath that ghosts over my hair.

"Then, if you do not mind, let me bring back your lost vitality and energy."

He kisses the back of my neck before I can reply, his playful tongue darting out and gently touching my sensitive skin. I shiver as a wave of pleasure washes over me, a throaty moan disturbing the silence of the room. The fact that I enjoy this seems to amuse him as a low chuckle suddenly vibrates over my back, showing me how close we are, and almost immediately earning him a pleasure-filled purr.

As Godric's skilled lips and tongue go down my spine I feel his fingers tracing my tattoos and old scars. His journey, though, stops abruptly when his fingertips run over a deep, relatively fresh, wound.

"What did this to you, love?" his low whisper is filled with unsaid promises of unimaginable pain to those who have dared to hurt me.

That fact that Godric asks 'what' rather than 'who' doesn't stay unnoticed by me but I only shake my head and move my shoulder blades anxiously. He gets what I mean, but his frail kiss on the shoulder leaves no doubt that he will ask me again later and then I'll have to answer him.

"Shhh…"

His mouth moves over the wound and his tongue darts out to lick the still sore gash. I hiss, not from pain but rather surprise, when his sharp fangs appear, skitter over the cut and carefully reopen it. I have no idea why he did it but soon after I feel a puddle of blood forming on my back. And just like that he licks it off! Before I can even open my mouth in protest I feel and ancient and alluring odour linger in the space between us. I turn my head to the side and see that he has bit into his bottom lip and now crimson drops were running down his chin and dropping on my back. Unknowingly I lick my lips and my gaze blurs slightly as I try to follow the movement of every single drop that temptingly lands on my bleeding back.

All of a sudden Godric bends down and his cut lip gently touches my wounded flesh. This time a loud moan passes through my full and aching lips as a rush of heat strikes my body and a knot ties in the pits of my stomach. 'Oh God, I'm so wet! And he barely touches me!' I think as he closes both our wounds and licks off the blood that's left.

I blush when I hear Godric sniffing the air, and feel him smirking down at me. I try to hide myself in the pillow and ignore the male on top of me but I fail miserably. So when his hands find their way to the lower of my back I try my best to keep all kinds of vocal approval to myself, teasing him and knowing perfectly well that he'll get irritated of my lack of~

"Ouch!" I yelp as his teeth bite into the back of my thigh, very close to a certain soft stop.

My legs twitch nervously as I try to close them, but his iron grip leaves no room for protests. Moreover I have to bite my lip so to keep quiet and that just makes him dig his teeth even deeper, making my plan even harder to accomplish. A low growl rumbles through his chest, showing me that he isn't pleased with my lack of moaning and warns me that a pleasurable punishment will await me if I don't do something about the sound check. I can feel my control slipping away as his traitorous hands glide over my firm ass and down my legs but not even once touching the already sensitive skin. A chew my pillow as my body starts to fail and little by little succumbs to his will and body.

"Come on now, lover. Don't do this to us." his breath ghosts over my now red flesh, where his bite-marks are still visible.

"Mhmp!" I grumble as his sharp fangs now travel over my skin, nearing that pulsating patch of skin between my legs that seems to activate itself every time I hear Godric's low and seductive voice. 'God help me!'

Before I know it he has me laying on my back, his head bowed over my stomach and his tongue playing with my navel.

"Oh my…" I moan when his sharp fangs graze over my skin, sending chills all over my body.

His hands wonder up to my breasts, squeezing them gently while planting butterfly kisses all over my stomach.

„I missed you."

I run my hand across his dark locks, locking my eyes with his.

„You don't know me for so long so as to miss me already."

„That's what you think." He says and slips his head between my breasts.

I gasp as his mouth closes around my nipple, gently biting it with his sharp teeth. After a moment his lips move to my other nipple, giving it the same treatment. I twist like an arc, driven mad by the magic his lips do on my body. Leaving my now swollen breasts he travels south, only stopping when his tongue reaches my navel again before it moves lower.

„You missed me as well." He whispers with that typical male satisfaction as his middle finger is slightly tracing over my wanting centre. „I feel that you are ready and desire me just as much as I desire you, young one."

He lifts my legs and puts them on his strong shoulders, burying his face in the hotness between my thighs. I feel his tongue like hot velvet over my sensitive skin. My hands grab the sheets, my breasts start lifting faster as his skilled muscle starts describing circles around my clit until he finally touches that hypersensitive ball of nerves. I moan, moving my lower body, searching for his devilish teasing that's making my muscles tense from the uncontrollable desire to finally cum.

„Please, Godric….!"

„Not yet... After all this is a punishment. „

And he is really torturing me, driving me to the very peak of my orgasm and then leaving me like that. And he does it over and over again until I am glittering from the drops of sweat that roll down my aching body.

His tongue is moving skilfully and tirelessly, masterly focusing on my clit, until he brings me to the very point where the only thing I really want is to finally have my release.

His sudden departure of my now throbbing vagina makes me yell out loud from frustration and pull the sheets so hard that they rip apart. My breasts are lifting hastily up and down and my fangs have come out of their gums.

"I swear in all the gods that are out there that if you don't fuck me right away I'm gonna destroy you…" I huff, puff and hiss as I look down at him, barely propping up on my elbows.

Godric snickers and suddenly appears right in front of me.

"I'd like to see you try, lover." He murmurs as he starts kissing my face.

First my cheeks, then my chin, my temples, my forehead. And I'm lying there wriggling underneath him, trying in vain to make even the least of contact.

"So eager.." he mumbles as he kisses that soft spot behind my ear, ".. so horny…" kisses my jawline, "..so impulsive.." kisses the corner of my mouth.

Godric lifts his body and I manage to finally have a good look at his face. And I'm pleased to see that he, just like me, is almost itching with want and lust. His eyes are so intense and dark that a sudden shiver wrecks my body and I moan. In return a grumble vibrates in his chest and my breathing quickens.

"What's wrong, Miss Starcrom? Have I reached your limit? " his low masculine voice fills the room.

In a blink I turn us over and straddle him, a victorious smirk gracing my features. As I move my hips seductively over his hardened groin I see him take a long unneeded breath and hold it, until I rub against, as it seems, a very sensitive spot and Godric arches his back, hissing threating.

His strong hands grab my thighs and pull me down, almost painfully-pleasurable, against his hard member. I moan, arching my back and tossing my head back, basically throwing my tits in his face. Apparently taking that as an invitation he rises fast and takes one of my nipples in his hot mouth. I whimper as he bites the sensitive bud and then licks it.

By the time he is done with my other nipple I'm panting and am so wet that my panties are soaked. But that doesn't make Godric finally take me. Rather than that he bites and kisses his way up my collarbone, my throat, and then the jawline until he reaches my mouth. He stops there, only a millimetre away from me, and our hot breaths mix as I try to not to come while we continue the little game of cloth-fucking. I rock my hips against him a little bit slower as I rest my forehead against his. He grunts as he closes his eyes for a brief second, letting me admire his marvellous face. His cheeks are slightly red, his brows furrowed and nose wrinkled from the effort he puts in not to fuck me right there and then. When he looks at me again, his eyes are even darker with lust, his pupils have become so big that I can't even separate them from his irises. Then my gaze travels lower and I see that, just like me, his fangs are out, biting slightly his lips.

"Godric…" is all I manage to say before our lips meet in a heated open-mouthed kiss.

I moan in his mouth and he takes the opportunity to stick his marvellous tongue deeper in my hot cavity. His hands rock my hips lower and faster, deeper and more sensual and I feel as if I'm about to break. His hardened member is already quite obvious through his khaki pants and the moisture in my sex seems to increase.

When our mouths finally separate I decide it's time to get a little bit more naked if the 'torture' will continue. So I grab his cotton T-shirt and rip it apart throwing the pieces aside.

"Someone just got impatient…" he murmurs and rises an eyebrow at me.

In return I grind my hips even stronger, my hands travelling over his body. Godric hisses and throws his head back, howling lowly, and I use that golden opportunity to marvel at his bared throat. I start from his collarbone, kissing and nipping at the thin skin until I reach his Adam's apple and give it a full long lick, feeling it bob under my wet tongue after I gently bite it with my canines.

"Sookie…" he moans and grips my ass tightly, pulling me even closer to his bared chest.

Kissing his jawline I travel west to his ear and take its soft part between my lips, squishing it playfully, which earns me another squeeze accompanied with a growl.

After a light bite I trace my hands over his hard chest, my lips admiring him like a god. One of his hands leaves my ass and buries itself in my locks, pulling my head closer to him. My lips leave a hot and wet trail over his toned muscles until he pulls me by the hair and sweeps us over. After he is comfortably situated between my legs he pulls me by the calves and lifts my lower part.

"You smell… wonderful, my love." He says after pulling my panties aside. "And I intend to find out if you taste just as wonderful…"

After what seems like hours I'm so horny, swollen and aching with lust that I find it hard to think, talk or move. Godric has made it crystal clear throughout those 'hours' that leaving without his knowledge was a bad move, and that I deserve to be punished. And he made me like it. Being the old and powerful creature he was, during his long existence he had… learned quite a few tricks on how to make a torture be a living hell and at the same time a pleasure-filled game. He never, even once, let me finish so when he finally decides I have had enough he kissed my breast and huffs. I take that as a green light and finally smile.

"You seem happy."

"I am."

"And why is that if I may ask?"

"Because…" I whisper seductively as I put a hand over his chest and push him lightly, "…I will have the opportunity…" Godric lets me push him so that he's lying on his back and I toss one leg around his waist, straddling him but not touching skin, ".. to get fucked …" I grab his pants and pull them playfully, biting my bottom lip, "… and make sure to rip your shell to shreds." With that I pull the pants off of him with a single movement, tearing the fabric apart.

I find out that he has no undergarment and I smirk, moving my already dripping sex over his. He hisses lowly while observing me as I lower myself over him. I'm swollen and dripping which makes everything a lot easier. As we are both beyond the point of patient love-making I don't take him in bit by bit but rather all at once and he doesn't fuck me slowly but rather like a wild animal. Just the way I want it.

I wake up with the sense of satisfaction. Even before I open my eyes I know he is sleeping next to me. Grinning like a total loony I flutter my lids open and stretch my arms. Lifting myself and peeking at the watch on the wall I see that there's at least one hour until the sun sets and the vampires rise.

Sitting in the bed I gaze at the brunet's sleeping form and just can't stop myself from tracing my fingers over his peaceful looking features. A warm feeling settles in when he subconsciously leans towards me, seeking my touch. Yet that warming feeling vanishes in a second as I feel my 'morning' sickness crushing me back into the soft duvet. The pain wracks my body and I hiss, gripping the bed for support and clenching my teeth. I try not to trash in bed or yell, as I do not wish to wake Godric from his slumber. So as much as it pains me I leave the bed and as fast as I can I rush to the bathroom.

The dark spots and the dizziness have already appeared when the bathtub is finally filled with icy water. As I look at my reflection in the calm water I know that the pain that's harassing my body now will be a child's play once I enter the bathtub and my body dies. 'He'll get worried… I should warn him…' I tell myself to rise and go to the wash basin where I grab the razor that is hidden in one of the cabinets. As I near it to my vain I start losing focus over my arm, melting away and reappearing. I'm swaying on my feet so I rush back to the bathtub, sitting on the edge, and I almost fall back in the water. After regaining my balance I lose no time and cut my arm then I dip my finger into the bleeding wound. I write my message to Godric with shaking hands on the wall and that takes all my energy and strength. The razor slips from my fingers and falls to the ground… I slip from the edge and fall in the water.

Pain. That's all I can feel in the beginning. Enormous waves of non-stopping pain. My lungs were fighting for a gulp of air but now they need it no more. My body is dead. I'm dead. And it hurts like a mother-fucker. The cold water suffocated me in no time and now it keeps me at the bottom. Only here I'm truly a vampire, truly whole. But if I get out I'll soon get back to my twisted, only half-dead life. And I don't want to. Not yet. So I let the coldness engulf me and kill me.

I was never like the others, as you know. The story of my miserable and hard life I can tell until I bore you to death. So here's the short version: when Ian turned me he laid us in a grave where we should have slept the day out and woken up the next evening when my first kill should have happened. Well it didn't happen that way. I didn't wake up. I'd have never did if he hadn't thrown me in the Ice Lake. It was in the middle of one of the coldest winters in the history and the Ice Lake had turned into a Frost one. Its layer of thick ice was impenetrable. There was a legend that in that lake lived mythical water creatures that hated intruders. Once they used to be a peaceful and helpful tribe but people used and corrupted them, turning them into blood-seeking monsters. Yet it was believed that the Lake's magical healing powers remained. So despite his instincts to run as far away from there as possible Ian brought me to the Lake and walked over the ice. While walking, knowing perfectly well that they could hear him and, if wanted, kill him, he told them what had happened. He had begged them for help, asking for their long gone, yet not forgotten mercy towards human girls. They heard him and decided to help me. They showed him a hole in the ice and told him to throw me in. At first he thought they were joking but seeing that their favourable attitude had started to fade away he threw me in the dark cold pit, praying the gods that I'd live. And I did. Well, as a vampire of course.

The thing he didn't know was that when he threw me in there the creatures grabbed me and pulled me to the very bottom of the Lake. There they tied me to a rock and with something sharp started cutting me. I had woken up by then thanks to the unimaginable coldness of the water so the pain that came from the darkness made me yell, therefore exhale all my oxygen. The death was slow and painful. They were killing me, trying to make me succumb to their will and give up. They wanted me to die. To really die. And with every passing second I wanted to die, to finally be free and pass on. But then I remembered how kind was Ian towards me all those months, how he adored me for my humanity and naivety, how we laughed around the fire when I told him how my day had passed, how I had chased rabbits and deer, how I scared off intruders that dared to come too close to his grave and other funny stories. My memories flashed in front of my eyes and I just couldn't find the guts to give up…. To leave him alone. So I fought. I kicked and scratched until I managed to, somehow, free myself from the ropes they had tied me with and just swam. Swimming like crazy I managed to reach the light, to find the hole in the ice gropingly and finally take a long gulp of air. Only to realise I don't need it. I had turned into a vampire!

Later on it turned out nothing was the way it seemed. My transformation was only half-way done. Neither I, nor Ian knew what was going on, why it had happened or how it can be fixed. Having nothing to lose we made a little test. Tying me under water for hours did nothing to me. Tying me under ice-clod water did a lot to me. It seems that after being in cold water for more than an hour I re-die after literally going through hell, only to wake up as a vampire. A whole and complete one. But the effect disappears after a week or two, depending on the hours spend underwater.

That way we found out that I was at death's door. And I couldn't cross any of the lines. I had been doomed to be half-vampire half something else.

I have been staying away from cold water as much as I could during my after-life. I admit sometimes I was tamped to turn into a real vampire but deep inside the fear of the pain made me change my mind. And thanks to that fear I worked twice as much as the others, fed more, yet careful not to kill somebody, and eventually became a better vampire. You all know that every vampire has that 'dark' period in their life time? Well, thanks to the fact that I'm only a half one I skipped that step. And I'm grateful!

The water is calm. My body lays motionless on the bottom, my hair swimming around me and my body – bristled. And despite my dead-looking form my mind is fully operational. Due to the water in my ears I can't hear much, but when somebody bangs the bathroom's door open and yells my name out I know an hour has passed. 'If I wish to stay full long enough I need a 24-hour course.' I whine to myself as a sudden wave of pain starts crawling from my toes up my body. When the wave, moving slower than a snail, reaches my chest area and literally makes my internal organs contract painfully, little bubbles of air leave my swollen lips. A hand breaks the water shield and gently caresses my cheek. I know it's Godric that's looking after me so I relax. 'Only a few more thousand times.' I muse as the pain comes again, crushing my body and killing me in the process.

Death's only the begging…