Thank you for all of the usual awesomeness! I want to assure you guys that I really do have a plan, and everything I'm doing (whether or not it may seem sad for the time being) serves a purpose. Eventually, you'll see that it's all for the best. *Eventually.* ;)

-Hazel

Time moves in slow motion as they drive towards the cemetery. Deeks' car is the first in the precession, all others following closely behind him. Police officers follow along on either side, prohibiting all other traffic from getting in their way.

Kensi looks out the window to the right, her eyes avoiding the hearse that seems to be staring them down. It's glossy black exterior is glaring at her, serving as a reminder of the loss she's just suffered. It almost seems mocking, in a way, and for reasons completely unbeknownst to Kensi the sight just sends shockwaves through her body.

"Your speech was really beautiful. I think your dad would've been proud."

Kensi snaps her head over to face Deeks, pulling herself out of the trance she was momentarily lost in.

"Oh... thanks."

She smiles, trying to push back the tears that are teetering on the brims of her eyes.

"I wish I could've gotten to know him better," he adds, his gaze boring into the car ahead. "It all happened so quickly."

Exhaling, she forces herself to sit up and speak.

"I told him about you, Deeks. He knows."

He glances at her, offering up a small smile.

Kensi swallows and nods mutely. It's all she can manage.

"I promise. He knows."

She tries to stare out the side window again, but finds that as she rotates arounf her eyes catch on the car in front of them. She just can't seem to tear herself away from it.

Kensi knows that her father is inside.

As they approach the hearse she tucks her head, trying to hide the redness in her eyes from the small group of friends and family that surround her. Everyone keeps shooting her these pitiful little looks, as if to deliver a silent apology that they just can't seem to muster up.

'How cowardly,' she thinks. 'Just say it to my face.'

The pole bearers move at a glacial pace, their motions slow and precise as they slide the coffin out of the vehicle. Her father's teammates were given the honor, and even with their tough demeanors and strong exterior facades, Kensi can easily tell that they're hurting. It's impossible to disguise.

She stands and watches in something remotely resembling disbelief, finding the entire scenario incredibly difficult to digest. Her father really is gone, and she comes to realize that fact in a single moment of stunned amazement.

Well he's not exactly gone per say, he's locked in a box directly in front of her. Just the thought sends shivers down her spine.

Deeks watches Kensi with a steady gaze, his eyes zipping back and forth from her to the coffin that they're following closely behind. Once it's been placed in front of the rows of chairs they both take a seat, Kensi thoroughly dreading that they have watch it all unfold from the front row. She'd much prefer to just sit in the back, away from all the attention they've been receiving throughout the day.

The single military trumpet rings out loudly, an eerily familiar song echoing around the cemetery grounds. Kensi closes her eyes for a short moment, trying to take a step back from the situation at hand but finds instead that she's only thrown further in.

Images play out before her mind, flashbacks of some sort.

Kensi at age four as her father taught her how to ride a bike. The father-daughter dance they'd attended together in kindergarden, something her mother had forced them both into. His first deployment, and how she'd clutched onto one of his legs at the airport, sobbing uncontrollably as she was pulled away.

Those are things that Kensi will never forget.

She forces herself to watch through blurred vision as the flag is pulled tautly across the coffin, each soldier holding a portion close to their chest before folding it in, bit by bit. She clenches her jaw as her throat constricts, and a small cry that she can't manage to stifle slips out.

Deeks reaches for her hand in silence just as he'd done back at the church, but this time around, rather than simply allowing him to do it without any acknowledgement, Kensi squeezes his fingers tightly between hers. He's her security blanket, and she needs him now more than ever.

Kensi has to pull back rather quickly though, as before she knows it a man is kneeling on the ground before her. She opens her palms to him, and he immediately places a folded up flag in her hands.

"Ma'am, this flag is presented on behalf of a grateful nation, as an expression of appreciation for your fathers heroic achievements." He lifts his hands away from the flag, leaving it to rest on her lap. "You have my deepest condolences."

Kensi nods, barely moving her head up and down as he steps away. She grips the piece of fabric with all of her strength, tightly clutching to the last remaining piece of him that she still has in her possession.

The marine salutes her, slowing raising one hand up towards his forehead before backing away.

"Atten-tion!"

The marines raise their rifles high into the sky, and one by one the gunshots ring out, each one somehow sounding more final than the last. They pierce the silence like a knife, slicing through the peaceful morning sky.

Birds flap their wings and fly away at the sound. Kensi wishes that she could go with them, as stopping herself from buckling forward and screaming is becoming more and more difficult with the passing time.

Regardless of how she's feeling, that just isn't going to happen. She has to stay, sit, and relive the loss.

Although Kensi knows that this is all customary, and that they're honoring him with the service, she can't help but feel that her father wouldn't want it to be like this. He wouldn't want to see her suffering through such a painstaking memorial.

But no matter how Kensi spins it, he deserves this, at the very least. He deserves to be honored.

Before she's really ready for it, the gunshots finish ringing out with one final, booming shot. It feels as if one of the bullets has somehow strayed away from it's line of fire and lodged itself into her heart. An eerie stillness follows closely after, all four rows of people completely hushed.

That doesn't last for long, though. As everyone stands up to go, there aren't voices so much as there is rustling- people grabbing their purses and jackets, sniffling as they exit.

Kensi can't seem to move, though. She's practically paralyzed.

Deeks remains seated beside her, totally docile as everyone continues to clear out. He watches as she stares forward at the coffin, both eyes narrowed as if she's studying something he just can't seem to see.

"Kens?" He asks quietly after another couple minutes of silence. They're the only remaining guests.

She lifts her head, nodding. "I know."

It's time to go. The words aren't added, but they're easily implied. It's time to say goodbye.

Deeks stands slowly and offers her one of his hands, which she takes willingly. He doesn't pull her along, but rather allows Kensi to pull him along instead.

She leads them towards the coffin, running two fingers across the shiny, ebony surface. He'll be spending eternity inside of it, so she figures that it's important to get one final glance.

"Bye dad," Kensi whispers, the two words broken and barely audible. She can feel her eyes begin to sting again, and decides that now is a good time to go. Leaving will surely only get harder with time.

As Kensi turns back around she keeps her pace slow, practically crushing Deeks' fingers with her unwavering grip. He moves steadily by her side, not saying a word as they separate and climb into his truck.

She pulls the door shut and leans her head back against the seat, staring outside. Deeks doesn't start the car as expected, but keeps his eyes planted on Kensi until she finally will turn to look at him.

Her features are exhausted and her cheeks bright red. Kensi doesn't say a word, as she senses that there's something he wants to let out and she doesn't have the energy to interject.

"Let me help," he offers, his eyebrows furrowed. "I just… I wanna do something. Anything."

Kensi's eyes flutter, hoping her lashes will bat the tears away.

"I'm not sure what can be done."

She shakes her head, and immediately begins crying again. It can't be stopped.

He scoots closer towards her, his eyes drooping and glistening with a slight sheen as Kensi wraps both arms around his midsection.

Holding her back tightly, Deeks whispers sweet little nothings into her ear while the tide rolls in.