A/n: Thanks so much to NikkiB1973 for updating her C/7 fic 'Shining Star' with my favourite chapter yet. Beta reading and enjoying it really inspired me to finish this. :)
Seven of Nine was glad to be back in Astrometrics. The Doctor had been correct, a dose of normality, however relative, was helping her. She'd completed the prescribed three hour regeneration cycle, and it had no doubt restored her physical reserves somewhat, she could finally walking without stumbling again, and stand still without support, but returning to her post in Astrometrics was the action that had given her some emotional equilibrium. Just letting her gaze follow a continuous sweep over the menagerie of consoles, monitors and devices she'd built into the lab over the years to efficiently organise and report the torrents of information that was fed into the room every minute was reassuring, even satisfying, to her. Just because she'd recently realised that she couldn't confine her emotional state to that alone, that as safe as her work was for her to give herself over to it wouldn't fulfil her forever, didn't mean she didn't still draw comfort from being here. For now, allowing herself to fall back into the routine her entanglement with Chakotay had so disrupted provided her with space to unknot her confusion, force herself to focus to on logic of data and formulae rather than the unknown of their fast approaching lunch…
She sighed then, perhaps work wasn't as an effective distraction as she'd hoped, at least when everything was so peaceful. Closing her eyes for a moment, she rotated her tense shoulders in their sockets. Her uniform, stiff with newness, was almost as reluctant to give as her taut muscles. The chirp of a sensor alert made her eyes shoot open again as she tried to recall which sensor she'd attached that, almost cheery, sound to. Walking hurriedly over to the relevant console, she felt an unexpected smile of delight tug at her lips as she read details of the discovery. "Computer, put a visual of asteroid belt 34678 on screen, sector 531 East." She ordered smoothly, nodding to herself as her unspoken conclusions began to reel down the screen as scan data on either side of the image of the asteroid belt. Her cautious smile unconsciously widened, it was a rare event for her to deliver good news. "Seven of Nine to the Bridge." She called down her comm. badge.
"Yes Seven?" Chakotay, obviously still on his Bridge shift, answered. His voice was a mixture of eagerness and apprehension; Seven couldn't help but wonder what their crewmates on the Bridge were making of his reaction, even as it made her own cheeks warm.
"Chak…" She cringed at the near slip, "Commander, you may wish to contact Mr Neelix and tell him to report to Astrometrics. I believe that the long range sensors have picked up a sizeable Talaxian settlement, it may be of interest to him."
She could sense that he was grinning, could hear the happy anticipation in his even tones, as he replied with a light chuckle, "That may be an understatement, I think it'll be of interest to us all, but especially Neelix. I'll let him know."
Seven was irritated at herself as she felt her mood contrarily dip a little as he clicked comm. line back off. She should be appreciative of his efforts to maintain professionalism, she'd asked nothing less of him mere hours before after all. Shaking off those disconcerting thoughts, she turned decidedly back towards the main console, determined to satisfy Neelix's curiosity as best as she could when he undoubtedly arrived.
That arrival came much faster than even she had anticipated as within minutes she heard the soft swoosh of the doors opening directly behind her. "Mr Nee…" She started to greet the Talaxian, surprise stopping her as she saw that not only the Morale Officer but also the Captain had walked into her lab. "Captain."
Janeway gracefully ignored her surprise, her eyes already locked on the image on the monitor beyond Seven's head. "Well, it seems the programming you put in place to register Talaxian lifesigns has worked like a charm Seven!" she declared approvingly.
Seven frowned slightly. She'd never heard of a 'charm', a magical trinket by definition, actually working. Soon though, she dismissed the irrelevant idiom. "It would appear so Captain." She responded carefully, looking past Janeway to meet Neelix's amber gaze. The man was staring at the asteroid field with a wistful awe that made her heart thump with empathy. She hoped the scans were right, she knew what it was like to be alone in the universe and since the Talaxian people were now so fragmented and dispersed around the Quadrant, she realised that Neelix must often share that lonely, singular feeling.
"How many are there?" He finally asked, his normally effusive voice heavy with emotion.
"Approximately 900." Seven answered softly.
"Are they on a ship?" The Captain asked thoughtfully, studying the image on the monitor intently. All she could see were a few massive hunks of rock, as intimidating as they were inhospitable, but if the row after row of Borg numerical code flowing down the screen was anything to go by then this asteroid belt was anything but average. It often irked her how at sea she felt in Astrometrics at times like this, she prided herself on having a working knowledge of every part of her ship, no matter how much she trusted the specialists below her. However, Astrometrics was one place that rule didn't stretch to, with the vast majority of the data presented in the almost purely mathematical Borg script she'd rather not wrap her head around. Thus, the rest of the crew were almost wholly dependent on Seven and Icheb to interpret, let alone control, the lab's higher functions. She suspected that Seven had designed it that way not only for efficiency but for her own security, a barter chip. The former drone had been so distrustful those first few months on board after all. Thankfully, it was different now, Seven was dependable, her behaviour generally predictable. However, it still would've been handy if she could have convinced her to loosen her grip on Astrometrics back then.
Seven shook her head firmly, earning shocked stares from both visitors. "No. According to these scans there is a settlement on the largest of the asteroids. It appears to be a mining colony on some level."
"That would make sense." Neelix mused, "There were always miners on Talax, those skills wouldn't die out if they found the right place." He stared at the looming, blackened rocks again in disbelief, "But why would they live there when there are plenty of M class planets in this system?"
"I'm sure they had their reasons." Janeway answered diplomatically with a questioning glance at Seven.
Probably because the dominant power in this system wouldn't allow them to settle elsewhere, Seven added silently, but, looking at Neelix's serious face, she knew that didn't need to be said. "The asteroid actually has a lower M class atmosphere and is rich in minerals if not plant life. It may be perfectly suited to their wants."
Janeway smiled at Neelix, giving his shoulder an empathic squeeze. "I think they'd still appreciate a visit, don't you think Mr Neelix? I've never met a Talaxian who didn't prove a firm friend to this crew."
Neelix's eyes welled for a moment before he blinked. "Thank you Captain." He murmured sincerely.
"Of course." Janeway assured him warmly, "I'll go and inform Tom of the change of course." She turned to Seven questioningly just as she moved back towards the door. "How long will it be until we're within hailing range?"
"Three hours at our current velocity Captain." Seven replied promptly.
Janeway flashed a widening grin at Neelix encouragingly, "I'll ask Lieutenant Paris to kick it up a notch."
Neelix breathed a sigh as the Captain left, one Seven found herself echoing as she watched his attention fixate on the asteroid. There was a longing on his face, hope brightening one side and grief haunting the other, that she'd seen on all the crew's faces with increasing frequency, ever since the tenuous comm. line to Alpha Quadrant had opened. They were seeing a glimpse of home, just as Neelix was now, but that vision reinforced just how far from home they all were. Neelix's family were all dead, these Talaxians would still be strangers in all likelihood. This homesickness she witnessed always clarified that she had no such link to the Alpha Quadrant, to any place or anyone except the Collective. The day Voyager completed its journey, if she lived to see it, would be a uniquely difficult one for her. The thought was disloyal to the crew, contrary to their goals, but it was painfully true none the less.
Neelix's voice, lower than normal but still open and friendly, cut through these thoughts clouding her mind, "Thank you for finding this Seven."
Seven lowered her eyes from his emphatic ones, uncomfortable with his gratitude given the selfish thoughts she'd just been harbouring. "I believe the focus of the scan was Ensign Kim's idea, hence the unusually…lively sound of the alert." She informed him quickly.
Neelix smiled at her knowingly, "I'll need to thank Harry too then, but you're the one who acted on it today, I'm grateful for that." When Seven didn't reply, her discomfiture growing, he moved closer to her, his spotted head tilting enquiringly, "How did your dinner with a certain First Officer go last night?"
Seven stiffened, her face flushing in response to the unanticipated assault. "How do you…"
"I'm the one who gave him the refresher course on the tenderloin, remember?" Neelix reminded her, his orange eyes sparkling until they almost seemed golden. "He didn't tell me who it was for." He assured her hurriedly, thinking he may just have landed the lovesick Commander in hot water, "But I've developed a…sense for these things over the years." He tapped his nose playfully, the action having the desired effect as Seven relaxed. "I suppose this is a little outside my brief as Morale Officer, but how did it go?"
The question numbed Seven's mind for a moment, all the turmoil and exhaustion of the night before flooding back. "It included some…unexpected developments." She eventually answered stiltedly, an odd panic running through her when she saw concern flickering over Neelix's honest face. "We're…we're going to have lunch today…" She explained, unsure why she was clarifying the status for him.
Relief and delight lit Neelix's face. "I'm pleased to hear it Seven!" he told her eagerly, "Do you want me to prepare something special in the Mess Hall for the two of you?"
Seven shook her head, beginning to feel overwhelmed again. "No, we made other arrangements." She said quickly, regretting the answer when she realised how little idea she had of what to do to make the Cargo Bay comfortable, no matter how much Chakotay had dismissed such considerations. "I'm supposed to be making the arrangements…" She confided weakly.
Neelix grasped the problem immediately, but didn't make himself too obvious. He'd never felt that it was right to be patronising with Seven, he'd always found her predicaments and confusions with the Voyager culture completely understandable considering her background. "I've always enjoyed a picnic lunch myself." He told her, "Not too fussy, fun and relaxed. I'd take a picnic before a sit down meal any day, but then I'd rather eat any way than do almost anything else!" he laughed to himself.
Seven felt her whole body sag with relief. "A picnic sounds very feasible." She agreed thoughtfully.
"For certain." Neelix pressed confidently, "You know, you don't have to stay here with me. I can call you back if I have anymore questions, since it's almost lunch time already."
"Of course I would return." Seven instantly assured him, "But I would appreciate…"
Neelix gave her left hand, still resting on the console controls, a fond pat. "I know." He smiled at him coaxingly when she still seemed uncertain, "Feel free to go to the galley to make some things if you have time." He added gently. Seven of Nine was one of the very few people he trusted enough to give a free rein in his beloved kitchen, after using it she tended to have it in better order than he'd left it in!
Seven returned the smile as best she could, knowing full well what he was doing and, for once, allowing herself to accept the kindness without any resistance. "Thank you Neelix."
Chakotay somehow managed to walk the threshold of Cargo Bay 2 without breaking his stride, but as soon as he reached that make or break point where the huge doors would open if he took another step his knees began to quake, his lungs refusing to fill with air, he had to stop. If he messed it up this time… No, a stronger voice suddenly drowned out the fear for the first time all day, you'll mess this up if she's waiting for you behind that door and you never go in! That thought brought a deep, steadying breath into his chest and he pushed his foot forward.
He held that breath in until the Cargo Bay's hulking doors had closed firmly behind him. His bravery wasn't immediately rewarded however, there was no sign of Seven. The Cargo Bay was even more eerie without her unaffected presence. Although the cavernous space was lit as normal, the shadows cast out from the multitude of storage containers seemed to lengthen as he watched them, taking on a green tinge from the luminous, lurking glow emanating from the row of sleeping alcoves. The room's Borg identity, added to his previous ideas of it as Seven's cage, made him shiver. She wouldn't stand him up, what if something else had gone wrong with her cortical node? Was she collapsed in here somewhere?
Propelled forward by his need to find her, he strode further into the room, his stance buckled over with worry. Within seconds though, he'd rounded a tall stack of round barrels and found Seven, kneeling on her Ventu blanket, which was already held down by a bulging basket and several plates of food, absorbed in trying to cut a small cake into even slices. He choked back a dazed laugh of relief at his own absurdity as he took in the scene, of course she was here!
It was a scene that charmed him to point where he almost didn't want to make her aware of him. Only Seven would set something out like this so strategically, mimicking a picture book picnic with such detail that he was left amazed. His attention was really taken by watching her bowed head as she tried to smooth the blanket out with one hand and distractedly swiping a few wayward strands of hair behind her ear with the other. "Wow…"
Seven jerked her head up, blood rushing into her face as she was met with his awestruck expression. Shakily, she teetered further back onto her knees, gesturing awkwardly at the arrangement in front of her. "It's a picnic." She explained, cringing as she stared at the barrels that had blocked the door from her line of sight and left her oblivious to his arrival. "I…I thought this position might prove more discreet, but perhaps I misjudged…" She trailed off when he still didn't speak, frowning uncertainly down at the picnic she'd spent almost an hour preparing. Perhaps she'd made some glaring error with it. Picnics were, as Neelix had said, superficially simple, but she'd learned that simplicity in the human sense was still complex for someone like her, uninitiated into cultural norms. Hopefully he'd forgive her if he ate, she'd realised that feeding humans, particularly men, made the memory of most social faux pas fade, it was one of the reasons she was glad of her culinary skills.
"No, you didn't misjudge…" Chakotay told her, all in one breath, still staring at the spread below him in disbelief. "I'm just surprised, I wasn't expecting so much. Did you make all this?" He peered at her intently, searching her face worriedly for signs of the morning's over-exhaustion.
"Some of it is replicated." Seven replied regretfully, "Not all of the ingredients were available in Hydroponics, but I prepared it all and its completely vegetarian." She paused nervously, starting to realise that she had likely 'overdone' it. Trying too hard was off-putting. "If it's too elaborate, I can…"
Chakotay pointedly stood on the blanket. "Don't touch a thing." He told her firmly, crouching down to her level as the pressure of anxiety lifted away from him and he felt a smile split his face wide. "This…this is absolute perfection." He murmured in a low, private tone, his awe still evident.
Seven found herself returning the smile, her blush clinging stubbornly to her cheeks as she absorbed his compliment, which seemed tailored to her. "Good." She replied, her breath catching as he slowly knelt to join her on the blanket, still grinning from ear to ear, his disarmingly warm gaze still locked on her face. He was so handsome…
"Better for me." Chakotay commented with a chuckle, "This is already the best picnic I've been to."
"This is my first picnic." Seven admitted, though she didn't feel as embarrassed to say so as she generally did about her lack of experiences. This just felt special. "I'm enjoying it so far." She added in a lighter tone, tentatively moving to sit with her legs crossed on the blanket.
As if on cue, as he shifted to ape her position, Chakotay heard as well as felt his stomach growl with hunger. He tried to drown the sound out by awkwardly clearing his throat, but one glance at Seven, who was loyally, but obviously, trying to stifle a laugh, told him his gut was still audible. "Well, apparently I'm ready to enjoy this food." He joked to diffuse the moment, reaching for a plate. "I'm starving, I haven't eaten since…" He trailed off as he remembered their aborted dinner from the night before, unsure if he should refer to it even casually.
Seven's eyes had indeed lowered uncertainly. "I thought that may be the case." She responded bravely after a long pause, picking up the salad bowl and offering him the tongs, which he took gratefully. Both of them jumped a little as their fingers unintentionally met. "I had a nutritional supplement before reporting to Astrometrics, but I am still glad of this lunch."
Chakotay nodded encouragingly, glad of the conversation, thin and stilted as it was. Missing their easy banter, he grasped hold of the mention of Astrometrics as a topic. "So, how did Neelix take the news of the Talaxian settlement you found?"
A tired smile tinged with an emotion he couldn't read passed over Seven's face, "I doubt the Talaxian ever believed themselves lost." She remarked wryly.
Chakotay chuckled, although he sensed the comment was a deflection. "No, I guess not." He agreed, "But really, how was he?"
Seven considered him for a moment, as if debating her reply. "Happy, of course, but…sad also. I suppose it reminds him that the Talaxian people are truly nomadic now, that they're vulnerable."
Chakotay sighed, "You're probably right, some things can bring back painful memories as well as give back old happiness." He watched her carefully, deciding to push her a little, "I'm sure he'd appreciate your concern Seven."
"Perhaps." Seven conceded softly, "I doubt it would be of significant help though."
Chakotay felt his heart tighten fearfully as she hit this pessimistic note, the concerns he'd had about the mental state he'd left her in resurfacing. Desperately, he scanned the room for another topic for them to cling to. As he swallowed a, heavenly, mouthful of his heaving plate of food and his eyes fell on the familiar stack of Borg spare parts an idea struck him like a bolt from the blue. "I know what would go great with this meal." He informed Seven enthusiastically as he scrambled back to his feet.
Seven's brow furrowed in amused bemusement as she watched his expression become increasingly gleeful. "What exactly?"
"My last bottle of Antarian cider…" Chakotay explained as he began to dive among the spare parts, grinning triumphantly as he plunged his hand into a particular barrel and pulled out a dusty but still unopened bottle. "Icheb didn't let on…"
"Icheb?" Seven asked, dumbfounded, before suspicion dawned on her incredulous face. "Explain Chakotay."
Chakotay spun around hurriedly as her tone brought the uncomfortable realisation that to Seven, Icheb's guardian, using a teenager to help hide his alcohol stash wouldn't exactly land him in her good books. "I wanted to hide my last bottles from Neelix, they're too good to be splashed into one of his concoctions, I decided he'd never think to look down here. Icheb saw what I as doing and suggested that it hide it among the Borg spare parts, since they creep Neelix out." He explained, spluttering, "I didn't encourage him to drink it, I promise! He's underage and I don't think…"
"I should hope not." Seven interrupted, having gracefully risen from the blanket and joined him by the spare parts while he was busy tying himself in knots. She swiftly took the bottle from him, assessing the contents, "It appears unopened, Icheb must've followed his own conscience on the matter."
Chakotay was left almost dizzy with relief. "Seven, I…" He started, stopped as he took in Seven's expression. A devilish glint glittered in her eyes and her frame was shaking with barely suppressed laughter. "Thankfully for me." He finished lamely. That was too much for Seven and a surprisingly light, free laugh began to ring out from her lips, soon joined by his own. "Okay, I asked for that one." He conceded as they finally got their breath back.
"Yes, you did." Seven agreed, still smiling, "Though obviously I need to catalogue my collection of spare parts more regularly. Who knows how many secretive people Icheb gave the same advice to?"
"Well, I'm not helping you look through it right now. This conversation has left me in need of a drink." Chakotay told her through more snorts of laughter, moving swiftly back towards their picnic.
Seven's face constricted with uncertainty as she saw him about to open the bottle. "Perhaps you should not waste it not me. The Doctor has concluded that I have a very low tolerance for synthehol…"
"Nothing could be wasted on you." Chakotay interrupted her resolutely, "As for your tolerance, I wouldn't push anything on you, but this isn't replicated, it has a lot fewer chemicals that synthehol. You'll probably be fine with half a glass or so."
Seven eyed the bottle uneasily, then nodded as the logic of his gentle offer sunk in. "Testing that theory would be acceptable." She said tentatively, kneeling on the blanket again to produce two glasses as he opened the bottle.
"I'd stop you before you got tipsy." Chakotay assured her understandingly as he half-filled her small glass and handed it to her before filling his own. "Cheers."
"Cheers." Seven murmured, echoing his warm tone as well as the word. Their glasses gave a companionable clink before she allowed herself a cautious sip of the pale golden liquid, immediately relishing its smooth, fruity taste, both sweet and bracingly tart. "You were wise not to relinquish it to Neelix." She commented approvingly.
"Right." Chakotay responded with an easy smile that faltered slightly as she blushed under his gaze. He made his eyes look around him for a moment to take the heat off her nerves and found himself looking around the Cargo Bay with fresh eyes. This corner of it at least, shielded from the door, struck him as a little more personalised, with the Ventu blanket spread lovingly under them. Seeing a kadiskot board, waiting for Naomi to interrupt Seven's work and ask to play, made him smile. He then reached his fingers to pull out a half hidden sheet of paper. It was a child's drawing. "Did Naomi draw this for you?" he asked softly, suddenly ashamed of his blatant prying as she stared at the picture, her eyes glistening for an instant.
"No, Rebi drew that." She replied, taking it from him carefully. "He discovered a talent for it. Azan preferred those building blocks Tom Paris introduced him to, Lego. I still have his model of Voyager somewhere. It's an awkward scale, but still remarkably accurate in some ways." Chakotay smiled at the pride in her voice, the Borg twins had always been hard for him to tell apart, but he knew that they'd been perfect individuals to Seven, as Mezotti had been also and Icheb still was. She breathed a thoughtful sigh, "You were right about letting them to have fun." She murmured nostalgically.
"You would've come to that conclusion yourself." Chakotay replied gently, "But I'm glad I could help." He'd by now spotted that well as keepsakes from Azan and Rebi, he could see pieces beaded jewellery Mezotti had loved to string together were also sprinkled around where they sat. Seven had let him into her sanctuary. He moved self-consciously away from the crate he was leaning on, suddenly very aware that these things were her belongings, all she had, but something about that particular battered crate tugged at his memory. "These…these are the boxes of what we salvaged from the Raven." He whispered in disbelief, "I sat here when I had to read their logs…"
"Yes, I suppose you did." Seven confirmed, sighing heavily.
Chakotay cringed, "I'm sorry I had to do that Seven, it was intrusive…"
"It was necessary." Seven retorted sharply, "Considering the situation, what I had done…"
"I never blamed you for going back, the Queen was blackmailing you." Chakotay assured her, his voice shaking with repressed emotion as he remembered the ordeal of reading through the Hansens' story. Doing so had been one of the Captain's most vehement orders, and he knew it had to be done, but he resented now the fact that after opening that can of worms by trying to benefit from the Hansens' tainted research, Kathryn had passed the buck of knowing the details of Annika's tragic last few days onto him. She wouldn't have been able to take the guilt, he knew.
"I allowed her to." Seven replied listlessly with a shrug of her shoulders, staring at the crate. "I haven't read those logs again, although apparently it would be therapeutic."
Recognising the well-intentioned pressure of the Captain and the Doctor both in those words and had to fight to neutralise his tone. "Only you can be the judge of that Seven." He took a deep breath, debating whether to take it a step further, "Your parents would understand your feelings, whatever they were. They loved you Seven."
Seven blinked at him, a grief tainted smile wobbling on her face. "I've come to the point where I can trust that yes…they did love me. I don't think I need to know anything else, not now."
Chakotay gazed at her, astounded by her maturity and humanity. It was more than most people possessed, let alone would reveal to another person. He impulsively reached for her, his gaze intensifying as he swallowed, ready to force out the question that had been haunting him since that morning. "Will…Will you be able to trust me again, after what I did?"
Seven was still for a moment, it was as if she'd stopped breathing, but then she surprised him by moving to kneel in front of him, their eyes level since he was still sitting. Slowly, she placed a hand lightly on each of his shoulders, he could feel them shaking. Then, she leaned forward and pressed her lips gently to his. It lasted barely a second before she pulled back, but it was no empty peck. It reminded his dazed mind more of the kiss of redemption and forgiveness offered at altars, representing angels.
Despite the brief contact, Seven found herself breathing hard as she was met with his burning, unreadable eyes, able to feel wetness dripping from her own. "If I didn't still trust…love you I would not be here now." She whispered honestly, "It is more likely that I do not trust myself with this situation, I've never…"
The unmistakable warmth of one of Chakotay's lithe arms tightening around her waist stopped her speaking, but it was his answering whisper that made her tears stop flowing. "I trust you with us." He murmured against her mouth before kissing her tenderly.
A/n: PLEASE REVIEW! :D I know many of you are waiting for updates to my other stories, especially 'The Gift' and I apologise for the delay, but now that I've finished this chapter I'll work on that.