Numb
Meredith sat against the wall, tequila bottle in tow, watching Cristina and Lexie dancing around the living room. She pulled the bottle to her lips, taking a gulp, and the hot, burning liquid made its way through her body. She was out of it, to others. Blank Stare. She sat empty, just taking drinks of her tequila every once in a while. But her head was swimming full of memories and thoughts and she couldn't help but wonder what to do next. Her ability to be a good mother was slowly going down hill, while every night consisted of Meredith drowning herself in a bottle. She wondered why people turned to drink. It makes you numb. She wondered if Derek was doing the same every night. Rose said it herself. That Derek was miserable. She took another sip. Sometimes being numb isn't the best way to fix it...
"I can't believe that this is actually happening, Derek! We're really gonna go through with this..." Meredith said. She smiled to herself. Her life was falling in place. She was getting married to Derek. Dr. Meredith Shepherd. That sounded nice.
"I know Mer. We're getting married next month and we are building the house of our dreams. I can't believe it." He kissed her forehead. Derek was nervous. Everything was too perfect. Why can't he just be happy and live his life. What if Meredith has doubts. No trust. Is this the right thing? It has to be.
"Lets go see the house tomorrow. I know its not done yet, but i want to see it!" said Meredith, as she pulled her body closer to his. She loved laying in bed with Derek. He was so warm, so inviting. She felt safe.
"Okay baby." he replied. Maybe everything would be ok. Derek get a grip. Stop being paranoid. She's happy.
Meredith leaned in and touched her lips to his so light, you could barley even feel it, but it sent shocks through the two of them. He wrapped himself into her. He pulled her T-shirt over her head and took in the sight of her perfect body. He kissed her lightly down her chest cupping her breast in is hand. He loved to make her feel good. He took one nipple into his mouth and swirled his tongue, then repeated the same to the other. Meredith let out a moan, pulling him close, begging for more. "Make love to me Derek" she begged, responding to every touch and kiss from him.
He slid himself into her slowly, her grip tightening on him. He kissed her neck, taking in the scent of her hair, the softness of her perfect skin. He pulled her legs around his waist allowing his thrusts to become deeper, causing her to cry out in pleasure. She could feel her orgasm about to engulf her body. All her senses were heightened. Her love for Derek swelled as she cried out feeling waves of pleasure.
"MEREDITH!" yelled Izzie. Suddenly she realized where she was. Not in Derek's arms, but in her living room.
"You scared me mer, I think you passed out. I've been trying to wake you for 10 minutes. Maybe you've had enough." Izzie said, attempting to pull the bottle out of her hands. She was getting really worried about Meredith's drinking.
"Iz, I'm fine. Just don't worry about it. I'm tired." Meredith lied.
"Why don't you go lay down, ok? I'll go pick up Delia from the sitter's so you can get some rest." Izzie replied grabbing her keys, as she headed for the door.
"Thanks Iz." Meredith took her tequila upstairs into her bedroom. She couldn't do this. She needed him. I guess being numb would have to do for now.
Sorry for the small update. More tomorrow!! The alcohol will be an issue with Meredith in the future. She has a serious addiction. Derek's was just temporary.