EDIT 2/9/2014: Story's the same just going through and adjusting things. Proofreading and all that.

Chapter 2: Evasive Neurosis

Tony is kind of freaking out and pacing the kitchen. Peter's still in the tower so that's one thing off the list, but the second item is a little more troubling.

And the rest of the asylum invited themselves to his 'Hang Out with Peter' night. It's almost as if they don't trust Tony not to undo almost eighteen years of good parenting and traumatize the kid into a proto-Tony pre-Afghanistan complete with daddy-issues and mommy-issues and godfather-issues or whatever kind of issues they think Tony has, had, or will ever have.

It's a little more than slightly insulting. Except for how Tony is dreading the same thing.

Whatever, not the point. Tony needs to talk to Peter alone.

A plan which throws itself down the drain as soon as Steve, fresh from the gym and a shower, sneaks past the kitchen. Okay, so he tries to sneak and ends up walking like he's trying to dodge the paparazzi.

Tony smirks and wraps an arm around Steve's shoulder. "Cap, I don't know who told you that you were stealthy, but they were lying liars who lied because sneaking, not your strongest point."

"Verily!" Both Tony and Steve jump at the booming interruption. Thor smiles and pats their shoulders. "Apologies my friends, I merely wished to agree with Anthony that while the Captain excels at many things, sneaking may not be one of them."

"Hey, thanks, big guy." Tony smiles at Thor. Thor is really great and Tony's pretty sure the demigod is almost Tony's favorite. Even he does inflict back-breaking, soul-crushing shoulder pats. "Maybe you could give him some pointers, I never hear you until you say something."

Steve rolls his eyes and shows absolutely no discomfort after the back-pat of doom. Stupid supersoldier serum. "Thanks, Tony. And the pointers aren't necessary, Thor."

Tony barks out a laugh. "Oh, Captain, my Captain, you are so wrong, but that's fine. We can deal with your inability to sneak a little later. For now..."

"Ah, Anthony, I must submit a request."

Tony grins. "Sure, big guy, what do you need?"

Thor, God of Thunder, Prince of Asgard, and really big dude, actually bites his lip. Really, how is that even a thing. "Well, my dearest Lady Jane is currently in New York for a symposium." He is very careful with that last word like the feisty Dr. Foster had repeatedly smacked him over the head in order to get him to properly pronounce it. "And I was wondering if I might be allowed to invite them to stay in the tower."

"No prob-" Tony begins, but wait, rewind. "Uh, them? So that would be Dr. Foster plus one? Or more?"

Thor smiles graciously as he always does. "Only one, Man of Iron. The brave and gallant Lady Darcy."

Oh, dear. That was... a thing. Okay, Tony could do that. He could hide from the kid for... "Thor, how long is this symposium?"

"I believe that the symposium is only a week," Thor says, and that sounds doable except... "However, the Ladies Jane and Darcy were planning to stay in New York for two months. Which would lead to an unfortunate hotel bill." He smiles and tilts his head. "Or so the Lady Darcy informs me."

Two months. Shit. Well, Tony probably should've told his team after he figured out that Darcy was involved with SHIELD. Ah, well, c'est la vie. Yeah, he could do this. "Yeah, that's fine. I'll add them to the list of people cleared to be in the living quarters. When should we bring them over?"

Thor scooped Tony into the most dangerous bear-hug he'd ever had the misfortune to encounter. "Oh, dear Man of Iron, I shall bring them over immediately. They did not wish to impose, but we will be enjoying a night of feasting and entertainment tonight, will we not? There can never be too many people at a celebration."

"Yeah, sure, buddy. It's ... just could you set me down?" Tony wheezes out the last few words before gasping for breath when Thor releases him. Tony pats his huge tree trunks that he calls arms. "Go ahead and have Happy drive you to their hotel. And you know, give them a call so they know what the plan is. I'll take care of the hotel cancellation when they get here. Or later. Either way I'll make sure they get their money back. Anyway go, shoo. Fetch the fair maidens, or whatever."

Thor bounds away wearing a cape and tapping away on a StarkPhone. That will never not be weird.

Once the elevator is on it's way down, Steve sighs from the couch. "It will never be fair that he understands technology and pop culture better than I do."

"Yeah, sometimes. It's a mix. You definitely get some things that completely befuddle him, but you're actually pretty evenly matched."

"So, what's wrong with 'the brave and gallant Darcy'?"

Damn, Tony had been hoping Steve wouldn't notice that. "Nothing, what're talking about?"

Steve glares. "No, Tony. I'm tired of you avoiding things to do with young brunettes."

Ouch, that's probably a little too close. "Look, Steve, it's not a big deal."

"You were fine with Dr. Foster coming, but after you found out who her 'plus one' was, something changed."

"Look, we have a history."

"Oh, God, Tony. She's still a college student and you-"

"Not that kind of history." Tony sighs. He's gonna have to explain this. He really didn't want to have to explain this. He hadn't even explained this to Pep, and he had actually managed to convince her to date him.

Steve is watching him. He's tilting his head and waiting for Tony to explain.

Fine, if Steve really wants an explanation, he'll get all the explanation he can take.