Alone

Meredith woke up to Izzie banging on the door of her bedroom. She was on the floor next to her dresser covered in vomit. What happened last night? "Hold on Iz" she yelled back. She rolled over onto an empty tequila bottle. She got up and changed and then walked to the door.

"Hey sleepy head. How long have you been up? " Asked Izzie.

"Since you started banging on my door. What the hell did we do last night?" She replied. "And you guys owe me a bottle of tequila! The one we bought last night is empty. That was mine!" She said joking around.

"Mer, we didn't drink tequila last night. You had the bottle the whole time." Izzie said with a concerned look on her face. "You passed out and we sent you to bed when it was a little less than half a bottle left. Did you drink the whole thing?"

"I guess so. We must have partied hard last night. I don't remember most of it. OH MY GOD DELIA…is she still at the sitters?" Meredith asked with a panicked look on her face.

"You really don't remember do you? I sent you to bed and I went and picked her up and put her to bed for you. She's already been fed this morning and she's asleep in her crib. I can't keep watching her for you Mer. I know that she's only 5 weeks old and you're getting used to being a new mom, but you're getting drunk all the time. I'm worried about you…." Izzie said. She was worried Meredith was gonna get mad at her.

"Izzie. I lost my Husband, and now I'm a single mom. I'm sorry that I'm sad ok? I just drink every once in a while like a normal adult. Why are you always on my case about the drinking?"

"Meredith do you realize that you forgot about your daughter until halfway through our conversation. That isn't normal. You lost your husband almost a year ago, and yes you're a single mom, which means you have more of a responsibility. That doesn't give you an excuse to drink yourself to death…. "

"Izzie just leave me alone, ok? This is none of your business. Just go away" Meredith spat as she walked away towards the nursery to check on Delia. She pulled out her cell phone and called Lexie.

"Hey Lexie, are you off today?" she asked.

"Yeah, do you need anything Mer?" Lexie replied. She loved her sister and was so glad that hey had fixed things between them.

"Could you watch Delia for the day by any chance? I've got to go grocery shopping and run some errands." Meredith lied.

"Yeah sure Mer, just bring her over."

"Ok, I'll see you in a bit." Meredith said. She hung up and got Delia's diaper bag together and went to go take a quick shower.

----------------------------------------------------

It had been 3 long, horrible weeks since he had seen her emerald eyes. 3 weeks since he had been close enough to smell the lavender that engulfed his senses. 3 weeks since he had seen his daughter. Rose and Derek had gone to dinner in a nice restaurant in downtown Seattle. He was eating his steak, sitting at the table, but his mind wasn't there.

"Rose, I think we should talk." Derek said suddenly. He should have done this months ago.

"Ok" Rose replied, unsure of what would come next.

"I can't lie to you anymore. I made a mistake and you and I both know that. I'm still in love with Mer. I always have been." Derek explained.

"Derek, you cheated on your wife with me. Why would you be with me after the divorce if you didn't want me?" Rose asked with tears in her eyes.

"Rose I divorced my wife! I didn't divorce her to be with you. We were having problems. She was always at work and I was lonely. I'm just scared of being alone. This whole thing was a mistake. I'm being honest with you because I'm sick of the person I have become. I'm a wreck. I was alone and you were there. That's it." Derek said. He threw some bills down on the table and got out of his chair.

"I'll have my things out of the apartment tonight. I'm sorry Rose." He said as he walked away. If he couldn't be with Meredith, he would be alone. He couldn't be in a bad relationship with Rose anymore. He never loved her in the first place…