As soon as they arrived back at the tower, Tony headed for Pepper's closet. She had given him permission to find something to wear, and he wasn't going to walk around in his now ill-fitting jeans and t-shirt all day. He walked into her room, and stopped short in front of the full-length mirror in the corner. He hadn't really gotten a look at himself since the accident, and one thing he was pleased to note was that he was pretty damn hot.

He had a curvy, hourglass figure with breasts he would have loved on another woman. His hair was still short, and it looked pretty sexy on his smoother, daintier face. As a guy he was a playboy. As a woman, he looked more like a vixen. "I think I can deal with this…" He muttered. "Jarvis?" He called as he flung open the doors to the closet.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Download everything you can find on women's fashion. This is gonna be fun."

When he came downstairs, Coulson was talking to the other Avengers in the living room.

"We're in damage-control mode as we speak. PR here isn't that hard to manage, we're just worried about what Odin will say if he finds out what happened to his son."

"I doubt father will worry." Thor remarked. Loki was sitting in his lap, still devouring the magazine. "I daresay it's an improvement."

"You like me better as a child?" Loki asked. "Why?"

"Err…" Thor froze as he realized his mistake.

"Am I mean to you when I grow up? Brother, tell the truth!"

Tony figured it was time to create a distraction. "Hello, boys." He said, stepping into the room. Everyone but Loki stared. Including Natasha, which had some interesting implications. Tony was dressed in a pencil skirt and black high-heels, with a cherry-blossom pink blouse buttoned far too low to be decent. He had put gel in his hair so that it spiked up on end, and even expertly applied a little mascara and lipstick. And- oh god- he had shaved his legs.

Clint gave a wolfish smile from his seat on the couch. "Not bad, Stark, not bad!"

Tony smiled back, and put his hands on the couch arm, leaning over to give Clint a perfect view. "You really think so?" Clint gulped, and Tony smirked, standing back up.

"Oh, great." Pepper groaned, her hand over her face. "You were not just flirting with Clint."

"Nah, just messing with him." Tony said before he sat down beside her. "You know I only have eyes for you, babe."

"Wait…" Clint thought aloud. "Does that make you a lesbian?"

Pepper shrugged. "I'm still Pepper, and he's still Tony. What does it matter if the mechanics are different?"

Coulson coughed. "This is a serious matter, in case you've forgotten. As long as Loki is in his childlike state, neither of you are getting back to normal."

"What, you mean he can't change us back?" Tony said.

Loki shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry ma'am, I haven't learned either of these spells yet.

Tony shrugged "I could get behind being stuck like this for a while. And hey, we've got plenty of toys for kiddo over there to play with."

"Toys that won't explode if he presses the wrong button?" Pepper asked, already knowing the answer.

"Well, not so much, but he's a smart kid, right Loki?"

"I do take pride in my intelligence!" Loki said happily.

"What is he wearing, anyway?" Tony asked no-one in particular. Today Loki was wearing a Superman t-shirt and a pair of jeans, both still a bit too big for him.

"They're some of my old clothes." Bruce said. "I kept some after I left, for nostalgia's sake."

"Aww, little Bruce in a Superman shirt? C'mere!" Tony got up from his seat next to Pepper and walked over to hug Bruce.

"Ummm…" Bruce blushed a bit uncomfortably.

"That's it." Pepper marched over and pulled Tony up by the collar of his shirt.

"What? What'd I do?"

"I am not having you flirt with every guy in sight! It's just… it's just too weird!"

"I was not flirting, I was hugging! I'm allowed to hug my science bro, aren't I?"

"No! I mean- it's just- goddamn it, Tony!"

"I think technically it's more like Tanya." Clint commented.

"Tony could be a girl's name, couldn't it?" Steve replied.

"He could just spell it with an 'I'?" Natasha said.

"Hey, it's just Tony, alright?" Tony said, once he had gotten free from Pepper's iron grip. "Just because I've got different parts doesn't mean I'm actually a woman. I just look a little different is all."

"Yeah." Clint said, smirking. "Wait until you have to use the bathroom."

"I'm telling ya, Bruce, this has been a blast." Tony said as he and Bruce sat at the bar of the pub they were in. "Like five guys honked at me while I was walking here! My self-esteem has never been higher!"

Bruce smiled gently. "I think the word for that is actually ego, but as long as you're happy."

Tony grinned and took another sip of his beer. "What're you drinking, anyway?"

"Sprite." Bruce replied. Tony raised an eyebrow at him. "Alcohol greatly increases my chances of… well, losing control." He explained.

"I get it. Shit… now I feel bad for inviting you out here."

"No, it's okay. I don't go to pubs for the drinks, anyway; I go for the conversation."

"You, my friend, have your priorities gravely misarranged."

"I'm sure."

"Why hello there, pretty lady." A tall, tattooed man in a tank top was suddenly leaning against the bar next to Tony. Tony turned to face him.

"Hello yourself." He said, smiling. He looked past the man to see Bruce was shooting him a look that clearly said "don't do it". Tony winked, and turned back to the man.

"Whaddyou say we get out of here?" The man asked.

Tony cocked his head and smiled dangerously. "Oh, I'd love to. Let me just tell my husband where I'm going."

The man's face fell, and he left without a word.

"Didn't even say goodbye." Tony remarked. "Jackass."

"You seem really cool about all of this." Bruce said.

"You think?"

"Well, yeah. I know if I'd woken up like… well, like that, that I'd be panicking like crazy."

"Haven't you ever wondered, though?" Tony asked. "What it's like for a girl?"

"By "It" you mean…"

"I mean life in general, Bruce." Tony said, smacking him lightly over the head. "Get your head out of the gutter. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to use the little girl's room." A minute or so later, Tony came striding out of the restroom exclaiming, "Damn, that was easy!"

Author's Note: Don't get me wrong; I totally ship Science Boyfriends. But I felt like Pepperony was more appropriate for this fic. So here you go.