(A/n: I reread the last chapter and realized I forget to explain the whole Frankie thing. Basically, I like to call Kakuzu Frankie, which is short for Frankenstein. I'm pretty sure you can connect the dots from there XD.
I was on spring break when I started typing this, but I put it off and then I had to go back T.T Forgive me . But, I'll let you get to round one of Family Feud: Akatsuki vs. Espada! Enjoy, read, review, and all that shit.
WAIT! I can't remember if I ever did one of these for this story yet, but I no own Naruto or Bleach. Otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here typing this shit. It'd be in the story line. :D Now you may read.)
Chapter 3
The Akatsuki and Espada came in different entrances. The two leaders (Kuro made Pein bring one of his bodies instead of that shadow thingy) glared at each other, ringed purple eyes clashing with brown ones. "Who are you?" they both demanded at once.
Their already narrow eyes narrowed further. "I asked you first." They both said again.
As sparks of lightening flew between the leaders, Mika and Tenshi entered. "Hello Espada people!" Tenshi said loudly, a wide grin on her face. "Hello, erm…"
"Akatsuki." Mika whispered to her.
"Akatsuki people!" Tenshi said, shooting Mika a grateful look. "Welcome to our first annual Family Feud: Akatsuki vs Espada!"
"What? Annual?"
"These bastards aren't my family!"
Shouts of protest arose from both parties. Tenshi pulled her horn out of her pocket and raised it threateningly. The Espada quieted down and plugged their ears while most of the Akatsuki members yammered on unsuspectingly. She pressed the button, the loud noise effectively silencing the Akatsuki. "Yeah, these games may or may not be annual, it depends on how Kuro-sama feels."
"Never call me '-sama' and I'm supposed to be your leader." Aizen muttered darkly.
"Well I have no respect for you." Tenshi said bluntly. "I have to respect Kuro-sama or else she'll do something to spite me." Tenshi glared up at the ceiling.
A loose piece of ceiling fell and bopped her on the head. "I didn't even do anything!" she cried, rubbing her sore head.
"Anyway." Mika said pointedly, "The rules of this game are simple. We'll ask a question and two contestants will be up on the stand thing." She gestured towards the podium in the front where the host normally stood.
"The first one to hit the buzzer gets to answer. If he or she gets it right and it's number one, their team automatically gets to play. If they get it wrong or if its number two or three or something, the other person gets a chance to answer." Tenshi added. "Whoever's team gets to two hundred points, wins."
"I think that's it." Mika muttered, nodding to herself. "So, any questions?" she asked louder.
There were none, so she made her way over to the Espada while Tenshi approached the Akatsuki. "Ok, so playing on this side will be Aizen, Harribel, Ulquiorra, Szayel, and Nishakku. Get on stage behind the podium things that say Espada." Mika pointed. Mentioned members went up to the stage without question.
"Well, what the hell are we supposed to do?" Grimmjow asked loudly.
"I was getting to that." She glared, giving him a 'Don't-make-me-sick-Tenshi-on-you' look. "The rest of you can go sit in the stands back there." Mika pointed to the seats opposite of the stage. "It doesn't matter where you sit, just don't argue, don't get too loud—" she gave Grimmjow and Noitora meaningful stared, which they objected to. She ignored them. "Don't act uncivilized in general, and don't call out answers or else your team loses points. No cursing, either." She looked them all over. "Got it?" there were mumbles of agreement as the remaining men went to go sit in the empty chairs.
"OK!" Tenshi said loudly as she approached the Akatsuki. "Since I don't know you and you don't know me, let me introduce myself. I'm Tenshi Inugo, heiress of the Inugo clan. Which one of you is Pein?" she asked, looking down at the clipboard in her hands.
The Akatsuki leader stepped forward. Tenshi grinned. "Nice to meet ya, Spikey! You'll be playing. Konan?" She glanced down at the board again.
The single female member stepped forward. "Hi! You're playing too. Itachi?"
The Uchiha stepped forward. "Oh…" Tenshi squinted at the Sharingan user. She got a bad vibe from him. "You're playing. Sasori?"
The short redhead stepped up. Tenshi looked at him. "You're playing too. And Kisame?"
The swordsman stepped up. Tenshi grinned again. "Ok! Now that I met all the contestants— who actually need to go on stage; go up there by y'all name— you other people introduce yourselves. You, start." She pointed at Hidan.
"The fuck I have to—?!" he started, but was interrupted.
"His name is Hidan. I'm Kakuzu." Kakuzu said.
Hidan started to complain, but Kakuzu sewed his mouth shut. "Oh, he'll get along well with Grimmjow and Noitora." Tenshi muttered. "Next?" the blonde asked.
"Deidara, hm." The bomber said, nodding at Tenshi.
"Tobi's name is Tobi!" Tobi piped up, pushing Deidara's head down to see Tenshi.
Deidara pushed him off angrily. "Get the fuck off!" he yelled.
"We're Zetsu." Said man came out of the ground beside Tenshi. She jumped and yelped.
"Don't do that! Who sneaks up on people like that?" she muttered the last part under her breath and added something about 'people getting killed like that'. She turned to the remaining members. "Well, the rules are simple: you people got sit anywhere over there," she pointed to the remaining seats where the rest of the Espada sat. "Just don't make too much noise or shout out answers or nothing. If you do, your team loses points and shit." Another piece of ceiling hit her on the head. She glared at the ceiling. "Oh ok, jeez! No cursing either. Just be civilized." She grumbled. "Got it? Good." She ignored the few muffled complaints from Hidan and turned to get onstage. The remaining members went to get seated.
Hidan plopped into the seat next to Grimmjow, a deep scowl on his face. "Did the bitch get you too?" Grimmjow asked lowly, glaring at Tenshi slightly. A piece of ceiling hit him on the head. "Ow!"
As if sensing his glare, Tenshi shot a glance in his direction. Hidan glared as well. "Mmmhmm mmmhhmm." He tried, then growled in frustration. Grimmjow grabbed the end of the string and pulled it out. "Ah fuck!" he yelled, holding his bleeding mouth. A piece of ceiling hit him on the head. "Ow!...Thansh." He muttered to Grimmjow as he silently cursed the Authoress.
"You're welcome." Grimmjow nodded back.
On the stage, Tenshi and Mika got both teams lined up correctly on their sides. "Now it's time to start!" Tenshi said loudly, a grin on her face.
"First up: Itachi Uchiha and Ulquiorra Schiffer!" Mika said.
"Uh-oh." Tenshi muttered.
"What?" Mika hissed.
"Earlier I had a bad feeling about that Uchiha guy, and now I know why!" she hissed back.
"Well, what is it?" Mika asked incredulously.
"Just watch." Tenshi said darkly as the two approached the podium.
"First question," Mika announced as she mentally wondered about her friend's mental health. "What is the most effective way to kill an opponent?"
Both Itachi and Ulquiorra hit the buzzer. At the same time. "I knew it!" Tenshi said darkly. "He's another Perfect One! Just like Ulquiorra!"
Ulquiorra sighed and looked at the short woman. "Tenshi, have you taken your medicine today?" he asked monotonously, as if going through a normal routine.
The girl looked down at her feet, shuffling around nonexistent dirt. "Maybe."
"Can we continue?" Mika sighed, dragging her hand down her face. "Tenshi, go take your meds." She pushed the girl in the direction of the area they kept their stuff. Tenshi dragged her feet as she went to go take her medication. "Let's try this again. On the count of three, hit the buzzer. One… two… three."
Again, both men hit the buzzer at the same time. Mika put her head down. "I quit. Itachi, just say your answer."
"Slit throat." He stated.
Mika turned to the board. "Slit throat" turned over as number one for twenty-nine points. "Is your team playing or passing?" Mika asked him.
"We're playing." He said before going to stand in his spot.
Mika went to go stand in front of Kisame, who was next. "Chop his head off." He said.
"Beheaded" turned over as number two for twenty points. "Sasori?" Mika moved down the line.
"Poison." The puppeteer said in an uninterested tone. His answer was number three for fifteen points.
"Hm, looks like this first round will go pretty quickly." Mika commented. She moved onto Konan. "Is it tough being the only woman with all those idiots?" she asked her. "Cuz I know Tenshi, Harribel;, and I have it hard and there're more than one of us."
Konan sighed. "You have no idea."
Mika patted her on the shoulder sympathetically. "You are one strong woman."
"Thanks." Konan smiled softly.
"So, what is the most effective way to kill an opponent?"
Konan thought for a moment. "You could suffocate him."
Her answer ranked number four for twelve points. Mika moved onto Pein. "Stab him in the heart."
"How heartless." Mika joked. She looked at the board, and the first red 'X' appeared. "First strike out of three." She commented.
She moved back to Itachi. "Punch him in the hear—"
"BLOW HIS ASS UP—! OOMPH!"
"Shut up, idiot! If we lose points because of you, it's coming out of your ass!"
Mika stared at Kakuzu, who had tackled Deidara when Tobi failed to keep his "sempai" quiet.
"… Sorry, but that will have to be points off." Mika said, wincing as the old miser struck the blonde terrorist on the head, enticing a yelp of pain from the boy.
Mika turned back to Itachi. "What was the last word?"
"Heart." The Uchiha said, a hint of annoyance lacing his voice at being interrupted.
They turned to the board; however, another red 'X' appeared. Mika moved onto Kisame. "Your answer?"
"Hm… Chop him in half."
The last red 'X' popped up. Mika strolled over to Ulquiorra. "What's the most—"
"Burn him." The quarto Espada interrupted her.
It turned over as the last answer for five points. Mika glared at Ulquiorra. "Interrupt me again and I'll sick Tenshi on you." She threatened.
"Sick me on who?" Tenshi walked out from the back, carrying a glass of water.
Mika pointed at Ulquiorra. Tenshi grinned slyly. "I'll get him after this is over."
Mika covered her hears, glaring at her friend. "Tenshi! Keep this fanfic at PG13 please! Stop being nasty!"
"I wasn't suggesting that!" Tenshi protested. She paused. "Unless, of course, you want me to mean it that way. I'm sure Ulquiorra wouldn't mind…" she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
"ANYWAYS," Mika said over Tenshi, toning out the blonde's next words as she addressed you readers. "That's the end of the first round; come back next time for round two!"
"Hey, I was serious!" Tenshi said loudly to match Mika's volume.
Ulquiorra sighed. "Please, Tenshi, not in public."
"Oh, so now you're embarrassed of me?! Fine then, it's over!" Tenshi fake-wailed.
"Are you sure you took your meds?" Mika squinted at Tenshi.
Said girl looked around nervously before running off, cackling wildly. "You'll never take me alive!"
Ulquiorra sighed again. "I'll go take care of her." He followed Tenshi backstage.
"Can we just end this goddamned chapter al-fuckin'-ready?!" Hidan yelled from offstage, Grimmjow yelling his agreement.
And this chapter ends with the Authoress bonking the two idiots on the head: Hidan for cursing and Grimmjow for agreeing with him.
(A/n: And done! Next chapter most likely won't be as long cuz it'll only be one round and not much extra dialogue and shit in between. I wanted to thank you people who review; you really make me feel all fuzzy and shit about the crap that I write. Another thing: I feel like my actual round of them [the Akatsuki and Espada] actually playing F.F. was boring. Hell, it was boring for me to write. Any ideas on how to fix it? Or does it work better with the humor excluded from the main stuff? Let me know, please. Ja ne—0Kuro Tenshi0)