Chapter Fourteen

I find myself sitting on the roof just outside my bedroom window later that night after a quick, uneventful patrol. Most of the visiting Slayers have gone off to the motel Giles had set them up in for the night, exhausted with the time difference and the amount of strenuous training Faith had put them through all afternoon. I know exactly what she'd been trying to do all day. She was trying to prove that she should be my second in command instead of Satsu and she was every bit acting the part.

Faith has been near impossible to figure out as of late. After all these years, I really thought I knew who she was without actually knowing her. She always kept to herself, always worked alone, and she was always keeping all of us at arm's length at all times. But she always came to help out when she knew she was needed, her wanting to do things her own way never stopped her from doing just that either. She lived to be alone, lived to fuck and run, to slay, to eat, to sleep, and repeat it all over again. The Faith I've been seeing lately though? A far, far cry from the Faith I am used to her being.

No wonder I'm falling for her.

This is the crossroads I'm at right now, the very same crossroads I discovered I've been standing on nearly a week ago before all of this unfolded. Faith is my crossroads; I'm more than convinced that she is now. I still can't help but wish that this all happened between us without Satsu in the middle and without Falken being our main focus right now.

I lean forward a little and watch as Faith and Kennedy walk up the driveway together. They'd gone out for an extra hour of patrol, but I could see, even from up here, that they'd gone to a bar instead of the other cemetery that's close by. I just shake my head as I lean back against the wall and look up at the stars in the sky. I can only faintly hear them as they come inside the house, both of them trying to stay quiet since everyone else is asleep. After a few minutes, I hear my bedroom door open, but I don't look back inside to see who it is. I already know that it's Faith.

"Knew I'd find you out here, B," Faith says as she climbs out the window and sits down next to me. "Couldn't sleep?"

"No."

"Me and Ken went to that demon bar, tried to get some information out of some of the regulars there. Either those booze hounds honestly don't know anything about what's goin' on, or they are protecting Falken."

I turn to look at her as she digs out her pack of cigarettes from the front pocket of her jeans and lights one. I can smell the beer on her, but I know she's not completely wasted. She smiles at me a little as she leans back against the wall and looks up at the stars. She looks back over at me, her eyes raking over my pajama-clad body under the soft glow of the moon. Faith doesn't say a word to me as she runs a hand over my thigh slowly. I scoff as I look up at the sky and try not to let my body react to her touch. She stops at the hem of my shorts and circles the tips of her fingers over my inner thigh.

I know exactly what's going through her mind right now. She's horny, she's buzzing off having a couple of beers, possibly a couple of shots, and there's only one thing she's focused on at the moment. I should stop her, but I don't as her fingers dip under my shorts and stop before she reaches my sex. I reach up and take the cigarette that's dangling from her lips and I toss it over the edge of the roof. I know I can be angry with myself for giving into her advances and into my urges later, but I can't stop my body from reacting from her touch and wanting so much more.

"Can't stop thinkin' about you, B," she whispers as she leans in closer, her lips barely a breath away from mine now. I let out a soft gasp as her fingers slip past my panties and lightly stroke over my clit as my legs fall open just a little more. "I keep getting this feeling you don't want this, but then," she sighs as she nuzzles her nose against mine as she slides a single finger inside my hole, "I feel how wet I get you without even trying. I know you want this as much as I do."

It feels awkward doing this out here on the roof. Not just awkward, but very uncomfortable and I grip onto her arm, forcing her to pull her hand out from under my shorts. I don't say a word as I stand up, pull her to her feet, and lead her inside. As soon as her feet hit the floor, her lips find mine in a deep, passionate kiss that makes me completely weak in the knees. Her hands are sliding under the small tank top I'm wearing as we back up towards the bed and I pull apart from her lips just long enough for her to slide my shirt up over my head. Our lips crash back together as we fall onto the bed and I can't seem to get her out of her clothes fast enough.

She's in complete control and I'm at the complete mercy of her hands and her lips and her tongue. I couldn't stop her right now, not even if the world was ending. I pull her down on top of me as soon as she's out of the last of her clothes. She pulls back from the kiss and stares down into my eyes. I can see lust and adrenaline, but I can see a bit of fear and guilt, almost as if she's feeling a bit of regret for taking exactly what she wants right now from me. I know I'm trying to make this so much more than just a fuck between us and I can see that she knows exactly what I'm trying to do too.

I want to tell her I want this just as much as she does, maybe even more, but words feel foreign against my lips and I don't want to ruin this moment between us. I know she'll still be here in the morning since I know it's different with me. That's not hope talking, that's just knowing the truth that all it takes for her to stick around until the morning is being with me.

"B?" Faith looks confused as she stills all movement and just continues to stare into my eyes.

"Don't," I whisper as I place a finger over her lips. "Don't talk. Not now."

I sigh out softly as she kisses my finger softly and smiles. I slide my hand to the back of her neck and pull her in for another kiss. I bite on her lower lip as she eases a hand between our bodies and I moan softly when she slicks her fingers over my clit. I feel her shiver slightly before she takes her hand away as she breaks away from my lips. She moves down my body slowly, licking and nipping at my skin over my collarbone and then over the tops of my breasts. She licks over one nipple and then the other before trailing her tongue down my stomach and settling between my spread legs.

My hips jerk up as I feel her hot tongue circle over my clit slowly before moving down the length of my pussy, moaning as she does and sending sweet vibrations against my skin that travels throughout my entire body at once. My hands are instantly gripping her hair, holding her as close as I can to my sex as she pistons her tongue in and out of my grasping hole.

"Oh fuck," I moan as she grips onto my legs, spreading them wider as she fucks her tongue in and out so quickly I don't know how she can keep it up. "Faith...don't stop...fuck..."

"Don't stop?" She asks quietly as she pulls back and I jerk on her hair and she lets out a laugh. "Like I'd even want to stop."

I close my eyes and throw my head back against the bed as she wraps her lips around my clit and sucks hard. I move my hands from her head to the sheets, gripping tightly as she eases a finger inside of me and quickly slides in a second. I feel the beginning of an orgasm starting to build quickly and I just let myself go, unable to hold it off for very long with the things Faith is doing to me with her tongue and her fingers. I feel like I'm about to black out as one very intense orgasm rips through my body and Faith only eases her fingers out from inside of me and places small, light kisses over my sex, sneaking one last little lick over my clit before she crawls up my body slowly.

"Hmm," she moans softly against my lips as she lies on top of me, slowly grinding her sex into mine as I try to come down from the high she's sent me off on.

"Hmm," I sigh against her lips as she grinds harder against me. I don't need to second-guess the fact that she's close.

The bed is creaking slightly and all I can hear is her breath against my ear as I hold her close, our bodies slicking together as I feel her tumble over the edge much quicker than I thought she would. She leans back to look into my eyes and I see how dark they are with lust and I know that sleep is far, far off tonight. I just hope the bed can hold up and I hope that nobody else in the house hears us. She's not exactly quiet and I know I'm not either.

But it's not like I'm complaining. Not at all.

Faith had fallen asleep at some point during the night and all I could do was lay there next to her and watch her as she slept peacefully. After a couple of hours and knowing that sleep is definitely not happening for me, I end up getting out of bed, getting dressed and going back out on the roof to watch the sun as it rises over the horizon. My whole body is sore in every good way possible. I don't think I've ever felt so satisfied in my life, at least sexually.

That's just it though, that's all it is between me and Faith is great, mind-blowing sex. I can hear her snoring softly inside and I try to tune her out as I watch the sky lighten with brilliant reds, pinks, and oranges dancing across the few clouds off in the distance. I hear the front door open and I look down as Satsu and Kennedy walk out of the house and head down to the street for their morning run. I feel the urge to go and join them and after debating about it for a minute, I climb back inside, grab my running shoes and make my way downstairs without waking up Faith.

I manage to catch up to them a few blocks around the corner from the house. Kennedy just nods towards me as I take my usual place next to Satsu. None of us say a word as we jog through the streets, the birds chirping as they wake and the few cars that pass by us on the road is the only sounds surrounding us. Kennedy takes off ahead of us as we make our way back to the house and I had really been hoping she wouldn't leave Satsu and me alone right now. We near the small coffee shop where we used to stop for coffee on the way home from our morning runs and I motion to Satsu to follow me and she does without hesitation.

I order us each a latte and a bottle of water and we sit at one of the tall bistro tables near the front window. She isn't looking at me and I know she knows there's definitely something going on between Faith and I. She's just waiting for me to tell her, I know she is. But I don't even know what to say or where to start, but I know if I say anything or not, I'm going to end up hurting her either way.

"We should probably talk," I say softly as I circle my finger over the top of the large mug sitting in front of me. "I'm just not so sure now is a great time to start talking."

"There's never going to be a good time to talk, Buffy. Might as well make it right now."

"I don't know where to start."

"You can start by telling me what is going on between you and Faith," she states flatly as she takes a sip of her latte and stares long and hard at me. "I know something is going on between you. I'm not stupid, Buffy. I knew something was going on right from the moment it started down in the caves."

"I don't know exactly what is going on between us, but-"

"Are you sleeping with her?" Satsu cuts me off, but keeps her voice low. "Don't lie to me. Please. After three years, you owe me to tell me the truth."

"I didn't plan for this," I say softly as I reach out for her hand, surprised when she doesn't pull away and lets me intertwine my fingers with hers. "I honestly didn't plan on any of this to happen, Satsu. I care for you, a lot."

"But you aren't in love with me."

"I'm sorry," I say, not knowing what else to tell her right now. "I didn't want this."

"It happens, Buffy. Sometimes you do things you regret later. Sometimes you do things you don't regret but those things hurt other people that truly care for you and love you. I don't want to lose this with you because you've decided to jump into bed with Faith a couple of times. Let's be realistic here," she says and takes a deep breath. "She can never give you what you want and you know that. We all know that. This is Faith we're talking about here."

"You still want this?" I ask her, blinking a couple of times and trying to figure out if I misheard her.

"Buffy, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me," she says with a soft smile, the very same smile I'd nearly forgotten makes me melt every time I see it. "I know you and Faith have...history together and that this is probably one way for you two to figure out some things."

"But I've been cheating on you," I say under my breath as I take my hand away from hers. "How can you be okay with that?"

"I'm not okay with it, not at all, but I'm not going to give you up without a fight."

"You aren't going to fight Faith, are you? Because that's the last thing we need right now when we've got much bigger things to worry about."

"No, I won't fight Faith, although," she chuckles softly. "I would love to try."

"Satsu, I..." I trail off, wanting to tell her it has to be over between us, but a part of me doesn't want to let go of what we had and what I know we can continue to have if Faith isn't in between us. "I know what I want right now, but I don't know who I want."

"You don't have to figure it all out right now," she says and she glances at her watch and sighs. "We should get back to the house. Don't forget that Giles wants to gather the girls who just came in for a meeting this morning. We're already late."

We don't say anything else as we finish off our latte's and take our bottles of water with us as we leave the small coffee shop and head home. Satsu stops me before I head inside and she pulls me in for a soft lingering kiss. I know she wants the kiss to mean so much more, but I feel slightly guilty and like I've fallen into an emotional entanglement with her and Faith at the same time.

"I'm not about to lose you, Buffy. Not to her or anyone else," Satsu whispers, giving me one last lingering kiss before she walks past me and heads inside the house.

I stand there for a moment, shaking my head at what had just happened between us. Satsu was taking this too well. I don't even know what to make of this. She's almost making it okay for me to be doing what I am doing with Faith even though I know it's wrong. I don't even want to go inside right now because just being the same room as Satsu and Faith is enough to make my head implode. But I know where my responsibilities lie and I should be inside speaking to the girls, not Giles, not Satsu, not Kennedy, and definitely not anyone else.

I down my bottle of water and head inside to find almost everyone sitting around the living room waiting for me. The only person I don't see is Faith and Willow takes me to the side and tells me she's still sleeping. I groan softly and head upstairs knowing nobody else would dare try to wake Faith. I take a few deep breaths, fully holding onto my resolve not to do anything but wake her lazy ass up and I walk into my room and find her already awake and sitting on the windowsill smoking a cigarette.

"Meeting is starting," I say to her, not moving away from the doorway.

"So I heard."

"You coming or not, Faith?"

"Whatever," she shrugs as she turns to look out the window and takes a long drag of her cigarette. "It ain't like you need me down there or anything, B. You run the show here and you got your little girlfriend as your second in command. What the hell do you need me down there for?"

"None of that matters!" I say to her through gritted teeth. "We are all involved with this Falken situation, including you."

"Where'd ya run off to earlier?"

"I went for a run," I reply calmly and I wait for her to finish her cigarette so we can get downstairs and get this meeting started. "I didn't think it'd matter."

"It doesn't."

"Why are you being like this, Faith?"

She shrugs nonchalantly as she flicks her cigarette out the window. "Not being like anything, B. Just go down, get the meeting rolling and catch me up later on what's the what."

I don't want to argue with her, but I can't seem to figure her out right now either. How could we have shared all that we did last night and have it turn around to being exactly the way it'd been before all of this started between us? I try to keep my emotions in check, trying to be the emotionally closed off Buffy everyone else seems to think of me as. I leave her there in my room and head back downstairs, avoiding the looks I receive from Willow, Giles, Satsu, and Kennedy as I take my place at the front of the living room.

I catch the teams up on what we know with as much information as I can process at the moment considering everything else that's running through my mind right now. The girls are all hanging onto every word, asking questions before I can finish a single sentence. It's testing my patience and I'm trying not to grow frustrated and agitated with them. I am a leader, I am supposed to keep my head together in a time like this and not blow up at them. Been there, done that, got kicked out of my own house over that before and I definitely don't want a repeat of that ever again.

I assign everyone into three teams for patrol later and as soon as most of the girls leave the room, Giles pulls me aside.

"We have a problem," he says quietly.

"What would that be?"

"One of the girls has gone missing."

"Who?" I ask and I look over at Willow and Kennedy who just shrug. "Who is missing, Giles?"

"Veronica, I believe. I have every reason to believe that Falken might have kidnapped her."

I take a deep breath as everyone looks over at me, expecting me to make a decision at what we're going to do. I know exactly what we have to do right now. We need to go after Falken, find her and get her home safely before Falken does what I know we all fear he'll do. We can't let him open the Hellmouth here, not now, not before we have our army.

"Get everyone together," I say after a moment and without sounding as terrified as I feel. "We're going back down into the caves and we're going to rescue her."