I get on the hovercraft, and Grant and Mags are waiting for me. Mags hugs me tightly and wraps me in a woolen blanket. Grant pats me on the back. Something in his eyes worries me. It's like my winning is bittersweet for him in some way. He says nothing that would explain his emotions, but smiles and says "We're really proud of you. You did great." I know I won, but he doesn't say what I lost. I lost Lily, my virginity (which isn't necessarily a bad thing), and the worst- I lost my integrity. I'm 14 years old and have killed 12 people. In the arena, that didn't seem like a big deal. But outside of that, I feel terrible. I've broken the record of most people killed in the Hunger Games. I don't think that's something to be proud of. I'm scared of what I'm capable of.

As soon as we get back to the Capitol, I'm whisked away by my prep team, who clean me off, and make me look presentable for my second interview with Caesar. Haymitch stops by to congratulate me on my win, saying he knew I would all along. Grant, who has gotten dressed up as well, asks him "Do you'll think he have to?"

Haymitch scoffs, and shrugs. "They're practically lining up as we speak." He becomes solemn, and says "Honestly, I think it's an obvious yes." He then pats me on the back, and before walking away, warns me: "Kid, you've got some shit coming to you." I look to Grant for an explanation, but he just casts his gaze at the floor, looking very defeated. Ariel brings me down to my interview, cheery as ever.

Caesar introduces me, and before we begin, they show clips of the interviews back home they did for the final eight. My father and Adrienne are painfully optimistic, and Juliette (with little Dahlia on her hip) talks about how proud she is of me, and how she's sure I'll win. It takes a lot of self control to not roll my eyes at her. Then, they interview my good friend Sebastian, and Annie. She looks pretty as always, but I can tell they've touched up the video clip a little. They play up the romance angle a little, which bothers me, but Annie still sounds like herself. I miss her.

Caesar asks me a little about my time in the Games. First, he asks about how I felt when my district-mate was dying in my arms. I explain how Lily was a good friend, and how she was so nice to me, but that there only can be one winner. Caesar asks about why I didn't form any alliances, and I say that they would only last a few days, because one would end up having to kill the other. Caesar asks about how it feels to have killed half of the tributes. I respond my simply stating that I did what I had to, in order to guarantee my going home. I stick with my flirty personality that I used during my first interview whenever it's appropriate. I think it goes pretty well.

Ariel, Mags and I eat dinner without Grant. Mags says that he had some type of date, but she doesn't elaborate on it. I'm not sure why any district person would actually spend time with a Capitol person, but then again my dad married one of them. I can't sleep. Every time I manage to get a few minutes of rest, I'm awakened by terrifying nightmares. hear Grant come in later that night, but I don't bother him. He's heading back to District 4 with us in the morning.

In the morning, Grant is exhausted and he can barely keep his head out of his coffee. Mags keeps looking over at him sympathetically, and then giving me a similar look. Ariel seems oblivious to all of this, and her buoyant attitude seems just annoying. "Are you okay?" I ask Grant. Mags coughs loudly.

"Uh... yeah, I'm fine. It's... really nothing. Just a victor thing. You'll understand it soon enough." He responds, sounding on edge for no apparent reason. I shrug it off- I tend to over think things. After breakfast, I turn on the shower, and sit under the warm rain, just thinking. I stare at my hands, that used to be calloused from spending so much time weaving intricate nets and all the small scars from just being clumsy have been removed by the Capitol surgeons and it's been replaced with new, shiny skin. I feel fake, like the things that make me me aren't there. Who am I, now? Finnick Odair, District 4, Victor of the 65th Annual Hunger Games. I guess that's who I am, but it doesn't really seem through. I'm not that special. I pour shampoo on my head, clean myself, and dry off. I put on clothes, and begin to pack up the few things I brought with me.

All three of us take a car to the hovercraft pad, and head back home. I'm excited to be going home, but a bit uneasy. I feel like a different person than who I was less than a month ago when I left. Grant, who seems to have been reading my mind, sits down next to me on the bench I'm occupying. "Hey, Finnick." He grins at me. He seems more like his usual self. "So, I guess you wanna know what happens next. Well, you don't have to go to school anymore, so you get to work on a talent, or do nothing. Your family is gonna move into your new house in the Victor's Village. You're gonna live next to Natalie. She won the 58th Games, and she's 23. She's pretty cool."

"Do people treat you differently?" I ask. I want things to go back to normal.

He shrugs. "Sort of... I mean now you're a celebrity. Honestly, my family was kind of scared of me for a few days. Seeing the kid you raised slaughter a bunch of people is kind of hard on the parents. Things might be kind of stressful for you for next few years."

"How so?" I ask.

"Might be. I don't want to worry you with things that aren't definite. But uh... sometimes some victors have to spend more time in the Capitol than others." Grant hesitates. He averts his gaze from mine, and casts it towards the ground. He isn't being specific and I don't want to seem bothersome, so I just drop it. Whatever it is that's worrying him, it must be a pretty big burden. "I promise I'll tell you, if you even need to deal with it."

I put on a nice shirt and pair of pants, and comb my hair in the small bathroom. When I'm done, the hovercraft has landed, and we're back home in District 4. I step out, and the whole district is cheering. I grin happily and wave. It's so good to be home. To the right of the platform is a huddle of people – my dad, Juliette with Dahlia, Adrienne, Sebastian, and Annie. I hug all of them, even Juliette and hug Annie the hardest. She's crying a little, but neither of us care. I'm just so glad to see her. "I missed you so much." I whisper in her ear. She smiles and strokes my cheek. I hear Grant whistle, and roll my eyes. I had temporarily forgotten that I was in public.

I'm shown to my new home in the Victor's Village. I live there full-time, but we also still own our old house. Technically, the house is mine. If I were to die, my family would have to move back to our old home. I'm one of the better off in the district, not that anyone is that badly off. So I'm only a five minute walk away from my old home, and Annie. My mini-mansion is gigantic. All twelve of the homes in the small community look the same, with identical front yards, mailboxes, and views of the ocean. The Pacific, they call it. I'm not sure when it was named that, or what it means. But it sounds very Pre-Panem. My new home has three floors: the ground floor, a middle floor, and a smaller upper floor. The ground floor has a big kitchen with a table, a living room, as well as a large dining room, which I assume is for when there's guests over. In the back, there's large floor-to-ceiling windows that are really doors to go out in the backyard. The second floor has 5 bedrooms, a study and a "guest room" thats a lot smaller than the other bedrooms. The top floor is the coolest. It's meant for storage, so it's just a lot of open space, but there's a lot of room to make it whatever you want it to be. The sad part is, the house is too big and kind of lonely, since there's only five of us living in it.

We're all moved in by lunch time. Annie stops by. I answer the door, and at first she's taken aback by the sheer magnitude of the house, if I can even call it that. She squeals "Finn!" and runs into my arms. She's saying hello for real. I hug her so tightly I worry I might crush her. She doesn't seem to mind. I take her on a tour of the new house, and then we sit in my room, catching up. "Can I ask you something, Finn? In your interview, you said that you liked me. Did you just say that, or did you mean it?" She asks, her expression unreadable. I don't know what she wants me to say, so I decide the truth can't really hurt. Worse comes to worse, she'll just reject me. But we'll still be friends.

"Honestly? Well Annie, I like you. A lot. No, I really like you. And it's okay if you don't like me. Really, it won't change anything." I stumble on my words. I can imagine Lily mocking me. Finnick Odair, scared to talk to a girl he's known forever. I remember that she isn't mocking me, because she's dead.

Annie just smiles at me. I never know what she's thinking. But her smile is amazing. She pauses for a moment, and then looks up at me from behind her long, dark eyelashes. "Well that's good to know," is all she says, but leans in and kisses my cheek. She pulls away and says nothing, but just giggles a little. Annie lays her head on my shoulder.

"You have no idea how much I missed you, Annie Cresta." I tell her, absentmindedly twirling a finger through her dark wavy hair. I was worried that Annie wouldn't even look at me now that I've killed 12 people, but that isn't the case. Nothing's changed at all, but it took me being reaped in the Hunger Games to realize that I cared about her. Regardless, I know now, and that's what really matters. Annie and I catch up on everything I've missed out in school, with our friends and with the District. There wasn't a lot, but the whole district was rooting for me, and apparently practically everyone chipped in to pay for my trident. It's in my new room, I brought it home with me. Something that expensive really shouldn't be left in an arena to never be used again. Especially since getting that parachute saved my life.

There are 12 houses in every Victor's Village. 7 are in use. I know Mags and Grant, but the others are used by 4 other victors. They come to introduce themselves. The oldest (besides Mags) is an older man named Jake. He grumbles a lot, and I can't really understand anything he says. He won the 22nd Hunger Games. A male and female victor who appear to be in their mid thirties come by next. Daniella won the 43rd. She's very anxious, and I get the feeling that she was mentally scarred by her Games. Daniella refuses to sit still, as if she's expecting someone to come out from behind her wielding a knife. Michael won the 46th Hunger Games. He seems really nice, but I get the feeling he doesn't like me that much. I remember seeing recaps of his Games, even though I wasn't alive for them. He was a Career, and was a lot better than anyone I've seen in a while. The last is Natalie, the girl Grant told me about. She's pretty young, and seems to be very energetic. She doesn't look like other people in District 4, with her brown eyes and dark black hair. I wonder if one of her parents is from another district, but I don't ask her. She seems pretty cool, but we don't have a lot to talk about.

Adrienne makes fish for dinner, and my whole family eats together, but in virtual silence. Juliette keeps shooting me dirty looks from behind her purple eyelashes, and my dad keeps smiling at me. Adrienne tries to make conversation, but it really fails. Things seem awkward. Adrienne and I chat as we do the dishes. "I really missed you." She hugs me tightly, and then goes back to washing the plates. "We're all really proud of you." I smile warmly at her, and she splashes me with a handful of water.

I laugh. "You did not just splash me, Adrienne Odair." We used to have splash fights just for fun when we were younger. We grew up around water, it's like air to us. It's been a while.

"I think I did." She mocks my tone jokingly. This is war. I take the sponge and clean a cup, handing it to her to put in the dish-washing machine. When Adri reaches out to grab it, I pour the soapy water in the cup and pour it on her head. She squeals. I missed these moments, when we could just play around. She smiles at me, wiping the water off her face with a towel, and tying her hair up into a ponytail. "All done." She whispers, walking away from the sink.

I make myself at home in the master bedroom. Since this is my house, and not my dad's, I get the biggest room. Juliette threw a fit when she found out. To be honest, I really don't care. If she wants to kill 12 people, she can have her damned master bedroom. If she wants she can move back to the old house, or even better, the Capitol. There's no love lost between us. I'm not bitter at the fact that she married my dad – I really don't care about that. My mom's been dead a long time, and he has every right to move on. What bothers me is that she is so Capitol. Everything about her just screams high-class and pretentiousness. On top of all of that, shes from that abhorrent place that makes us fight to the death over crimes supposedly committed over half a century ago. I wonder if Mags remembers the Dark Days. She was 5 years old. I want to ask her about it. I remind myself to bring it up sometime, now that I can see her frequently. We're practically neighbors now.

I love my room here. It's been decorated beforehand, and is three times the size of my old room. There's cream-colored walls, wooden floors (imported all the way from District 7), and large windows with curtains that are the color of the sea. There's a large white bed with a comforter that's the same shade of blue as the curtains. There's room for 3 people to sleep comfortably in. There's a closet that's so big that I literally lay down in it. I'm pretty tall too. There's also a bathroom that's only for me (you have to go through my room to get to it) with all these cool lotions and buttons from the Capitol. It's all so unnecessary, but so nice.

I lie in bed for a few hours, but can't fall asleep. I'm not sure if it's because I have too much on my mind or because I'm terrified of the nightmares I'll face when I fall asleep. Everyone in the house is passed out, and all the lights are off. I tiptoe downstairs and outside. I don't even know where I'm walking to until I get to the section of the beach by my old house. I sit on the sand, letting the waves crash up against my feet. What if I got dragged out with the tide? I look down at what I'm wearing – only my boxers. Whoops. I walked out of the house and through District 4 in my underwear. Nice job, Finnick. I don't even have shoes. I take a breath, and dive into the sea, surrounded by water and the starry sky. I sit underwater for as long as I can, before I have to come up for air. I'm calmer in water, it's where I feel the most like my true self. I dive down as far as I can. It's dark out, and I can't see where I am. I just keep swimming, as far as I can. After a few minutes, I look back at land. I'm pretty far out, and the tide's rough. It's the middle of the night, and I'm alone in the ocean. I'm just not making wise decisions today. I think I've had enough life-or-death experiences in my 14 years, I really don't need any more. I swim back, and when I get four or five feet away from the beach, I let the tide bring me in.

I dry myself off on a towel someone must have left by accident, since I'm covered in salty water and sand. Not that it bothers me at all. I speed-walk to my new home. I've cleared my head a little, and now maybe I'll be able to sleep easier. Maybe. As I reenter the Victor's Village, I see Natalie. She's sitting on a plastic chair in front of her house. She just smiles a little and shakes her head when she sees me. "Not only are you out after midnight, but you went for a swim in your underwear." She points out, and pats on the chair next to her. I sit down in it. "You're pretty crazy. Couldn't sleep?"

"No way. I get nightmares." I admit. I don't know why, but she seems trustworthy. Natalie takes a breath from a small burning stick in her mouth, and exhales smoke. I don't know what she's doing.

Natalie purses her lips, and tucks her dark hair behind her ear. "This thing? It's a cigarette. You smoke 'em. Don't do it. Nightmares? Those suck. Almost every victor gets them. Not gonna lie, they really don't go away. Old Mags still gets them sometimes." She exhales loudly, and squeezes my wet thigh sympathetically. "Your nightmares are gonna be pretty bad. You didn't really get badly hurt, but you had someone die in your arms, and you killed twelve people. That's a lot, even for someone from around here. Oh boy, you don't know how bad it's gonna get. I'm sorry kid. Did Grant tell you what's in store for ya?"

I shake my head, no. "He almost mentioned something. I don't know. The only thing Grant said was that I would get girls or something like that."

Natalie ponders something for a second, before shrugging, and muttering something. She exhales again, and leans her head back at the sky. "Well that wasn't wrong. Victors are always adored. They just are. But some of them are adored more than others. You, for example-" She cuts herself off, and looks at me in disbelief. "Holy shit. You don't know how attractive you are. I don't even like you or anything like that. I'm years older than you. But oh my God! Really?"

I'm confused. "What are you getting at? And I really don't know what you mean." Natalie rolls her eyes, and takes another breath from her cigarette, flicking a little of the ash onto the grass and stomping it with her foot.

She sighs. "Finnick. You're hot. And I'm not just saying that. Every girl at that school," she points to my old school, "thinks your attractive. And you are. The Capitol agrees. Use it to your advantage. But also, it might hurt you." Natalie shakes her head. "Look, I don't wanna break it to you. You're gonna get a visit in a couple days, and everything will make sense. Go home, and get some rest."

"Night, Natalie." I tell her, and carefully let myself in the house, making care to not wake anyone up. I put on a new, dry pair of underwear, and hang the others in my bathroom before tucking myself into bed, and trying to fall asleep. I'm plagued by nightmares. Tonight it's about Annie. It starts off very nice: we're laying in bed, and we have sex. I realize she's taken Lily's place in the memory. And then fast forward to the arena. I see the tributes from 2 slaughtering her, and she dies in my arms. Annie died. I wake up with my heart racing and a cold sweat. The sun's coming in through the blinds. It must be seven or eight in the morning. I'm still tired, but I don't even want to try to go back to sleep. I hear the clanking of pots and the shuffling of feet. My dad and Adri have work and school, respectively. Juliette is getting her beauty sleep. I'm not sure what Dahlia does – she's still a little kid, I think she's in the lower grade school. I don't really know. What will I do all day? I don't have to go to school ever again, and I'm so rich from winning my games I don't need a job. I guess I need to find something to fill my days.

I slip on a pair of sweatpants and a hooded sweatshirt, and step outside. There's dew on the grass, and some people are shuffling around the Victor's Village. There's a booklet Ariel sent, that I need to fill out. It has a list of Capitol tabloids and newspapers that I can get delivered to my house for free. There's a name and a description for each of them. I check off the ones I've seen Juliette read, the newspapers that talk about current events and other things that go on in some of the other districts, and a few magazines. I get the ones that focus on celebrities and other famous people, fitness magazines and other leisure activities, and one more that really grabs my attention: Victor's Weekly. Apparently, its a whole fifty-page magazine where they talk about some of the victors and their lives. Maybe the mention me. As conceited as it sounds, I want to know what they say about me. I put that in my mailbox, put a few gold coins in my pocket and decide to go into town.

It's a short walk, and since most people are in work or school by now, it's lonely too. I don't see anyone, except for a young woman holding a baby. She looks up at me, and then speed-walks away when we make eye contact. I decide to go the shops. I'm not a huge fan of shopping when I don't need anything, but now I have more money than I'll ever need. And I get more money sent to me every month for the rest of my life! I have (what used to be considered) a week's worth of food money in my pocket, and that barely dents into the money I have for the rest of the month. I pick up some groceries, like milk, a few rolls of bread, broth for Adri's stew, and Dahlia's favorite nut butter cookies. I'm on the way home when I hear someone from behind me. They call out "Finnick!"

A/N: I'm not sure if I'm going to continue this, not that many people seem to be interested. Let me know?

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