Chapter Sixteen

Over the next three days we came up with a plan to acquire the farmhouse and set up camp there. And over the course of the last three days, both Satsu and Faith have avoided being alone with me at all costs. If I hadn't been so busy coming up with a workable plan to make Willow's idea happen, I think it would have driven me completely crazy.

The most unbelievable thing that happened started yesterday when I came down in the morning for my usual cup of coffee and f0und Faith and Satsu sitting alone in the kitchen, deep in conversation. A conversation that halted as soon as I walked into the kitchen. In the last several years, I'd never seen the two of them hold a conversation for longer than a minute without one or the other storming off before it turned into a very physical fight. They hated each other, or at least that's what I've led myself to believe all this time. Now I'm not so sure what's going on between the two of them. The conversation I'd walked in on seemed to be rather intense and from the look I received from both of them, I had a feeling I was a topic in said conversation.

But that was yesterday and today, they seemed to be right back to where they'd always been before, neutral and staying out of each other's personal space. I went for my morning run alone, pushing myself harder and further than I normally do. Every muscle in my body aches by the time I get back to the house, but it feels good and I'm in for a much needed cup of coffee before I can start the rest of my day. I walk into the kitchen and find Faith and Xander sitting at the table with blueprints laid out in front of them.

"Hey," I say to both of them as I walk up to the other side of the table. "What's this?"

"Blueprints for the farmhouse," Xander replies as he looks up at me. "Giles is going out to city hall this morning to try and buy the property. Faith took me out there last night and even though it's condemned, a few quick repairs will make the place liveable until we can really fix the place up."

"Xand here has the bright idea of extending the house, making it bigger. I say it'd be a helluva lot easier just to knock the place to the ground and start fresh," Faith says as she doesn't look up from the blueprints in front of her. "But of course we don't have time for that now. Figure we will as soon as we put an end to Falken's bullshit plans."

"I know a few guys who know a few people who need the work. We could get this done in three weeks, Buff."

"We don't have that kind of time," I remind him gently. "We need to start bringing in as many girls as we can right now, train them and get them ready to fight against Falken and his army of vampires."

"Look, you heard what Giles said the other day," Faith says as she looks up at me. "We can't train the girls here. The house is too small and we need the space to be able to train them freely and properly. That place? It's perfect. I don't know why you're so against this, B."

"I'm not against this. I'm trying to think realistically here."

"Whatever," she mutters under her breath and I watch her as she gets up from her chair and makes her way over to the coffeemaker.

She looks completely tense and I motion to Xander to leave us alone. He doesn't say a word as he rolls up the blueprints and walks out of the kitchen quickly. I walk up behind her, reading for anything she'll throw my way as I cautiously reach out and place my hands on her shoulders. She flinches slightly at the unexpected touch, but I hear her sigh out as I gently massage her tense shoulders and watch as she grips onto the counter in front of her. I run my hands from her shoulders and down her arms slowly and turn her around so she's facing me.

"What are you doing, B?"

"Making sure you're okay," I whisper. "You are okay, aren't you?"

"Sure. 'Course I am. Why wouldn't I be? Wait," she smirks as she steps away from me. "You're getting all clingy on me, ain't ya?"

"No! I'm just worried about you, Faith."

"Ain't got no reason to be worried about me, B."

"Right because everything is five by five with you, isn't it?" I ask acidly, rolling my eyes when she only laughs at me. "Why are you being like this?"

"Being like what? Like me? Do I gotta explain why I am the way I am or something, B?"

"I thought after we...I thought things had changed."

"Ain't nothing changed," she laughs as she shakes her head. "So we had a few rolls in the sack together. It was fun while it lasted, B. Don't know why you're making it more than what it is."

"But you wanted this as much as I did!"

"Just wanted a piece, B. Everyone else seems to have gotten a piece one way or another," she shrugs nonchalantly as she hoists herself up on the counter. "You're a good lay, can't deny that. Know how to touch a woman just right, get her off. Can't say I don't blame Satsu for looking past what we did to keep you around. If I was into the whole relationship deal and had a woman like you, I'd do the same thing."

I'm shaking as I try to keep myself from slapping her for saying the things she is. I should expect this though, this is Faith and she doesn't care about anyone else but herself. I feel so stupid for believing, even for a second, that maybe she's changed, that maybe she'd grown up and wanted something different, something real. I feel like a complete fool for falling for her too, but I can't exactly stop myself from feeling the way I do. There's no 'off' switch when it comes to feelings, unfortunately.

"I told ya I couldn't be everything you wanted me to be. Don't know why you're getting so pissed off, B. You know how I am. You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into when you landed in bed with me the first time."

"I'm not pissed off," I say softly as I clench my fists at my side. "I'm upset. There's a big difference, but of course you wouldn't know because you don't feel anything!"

"I don't feel anything? You're kidding me, right? The only reason I'm not making this into anything more is 'cause I just know it ain't gonna work out between us, B! We can't even be friends."

"You've never tried to be my friend! Ever!"

"Takes two, Twinkie. Didn't see you exactly tryin' to either."

"Oh my god, I'm not even going to get into this right now," I sigh as I feel my emotions going slightly haywire. "Just forget about it then, Faith."

"I'll forget about it when you do, which," she smirks as she hops off the counter and quickly pins me up against it, "you don't seem to want to forget about it any time soon."

"Faith, don't."

"Even when we're bitching at each other it gets ya hot, doesn't it?" Faith asks, her hot breath spilling over my lips as she leans in close. "Can't deny it, B."

"I'm not," I whisper, feeling myself unravel and succumb to the power she seems to hold over me.

"You get me hot, B. Ain't gonna deny that. Nothing equals what it feels like being with you. I'd say heaven but then again I never been myself."

I hold my breath as she nuzzles her nose against mine, almost kissing me but pulling back before she does. She knows how to get me worked up to the point where I'm nothing but frustrated and thinking of nothing but wanting her to kiss me, to touch me. To fuck me.

"What was it like?"

"What?"

"Heaven, B. Keep up."

"I...I don't remember."

"Bullshit."

"It was peaceful," I whisper. "And beautiful. There aren't any words to describe how it felt for me being there."

I realize this is the first time she's ever asked me about my second death. There is so much she doesn't know, but I think she wants to know all she can, but only when she wants to. Nobody has talked about it with me in a long time and I'm not so sure how it makes me feel talking about it now with Faith.

"Angel told me when you went and got yourself killed saving the world yet again," she says and she doesn't move away from me even though I can see how much she's fighting herself to do just that. "Got to admit I got a little scared. One Slayer left and she's rotting away in prison. When you were brought back, well let's just say I felt it."

"What'd it feel like?"

"Warmth," she whispers as she moves her hands from where they are on the counter to my hips. "All I can remember," she finishes with a shrug and I know she's lying or at least not telling me everything.

There's so much we haven't talked about and I know a lot of it we'll never talk about. I don't know how to talk to her about these things and I know she doesn't know how to take it. All we've needed to say to each other on the matter has now been said. I can't seem to focus on anything else now other than her hands as they slip under my shirt and smooth over the skin just above my pants.

I slide my hands up her arms and to the back of her neck and pull her in the last few inches for a deep, passionate kiss that sets my entire body on fire. I shouldn't be doing this right now, but I can't help myself. I need this as much as I want this. God this woman can kiss good enough to give me an orgasm on the spot. With thoughts like those, I know I have to put a stop to this now before it goes a lot further than just a kiss. I pull back a little, but she's insistent, kissing me harder as she keeps me pinned up against the counter. She's the one who breaks the kiss a moment later and I'm left slightly dazed.

"You wanna take this upstairs, B?"

"No," I whisper even though my body is screaming at me to let her do whatever she wants to it. "This has to stop now, Faith."

"You don't want it to stop."

"No, I don't, but I have to try to do the right thing and the right thing is putting a stop to this."

"Ain't gonna try to change your mind. You'll figure it out on your own, B, and when you do, you know where to find me 'cause you and I both know it ain't Satsu that you want," she smirks as she steps away and grabs a banana out of the fruit basket on the counter and walks out of the kitchen.

I lick over my kiss swollen lips slowly and sigh as I lower my head and know that she's right. Why does she always have to be right? I ignore the ache I can feel between my legs and all over the rest of my body as I head out of the kitchen and go upstairs to have a much needed shower. But living in a house with mostly girls, I should know better than to expect the one good shower in the house to be free this time in the morning. I grumble softly as I make my way down the hallway to my room and stop just outside of Satsu's room. I can hear her and Veronica talking quietly inside and I know that the fleeting idea I had of using her to get rid of the ache Faith caused is not going to happen right now.

Willow grabs me before I even reach my room and she drags me into her room and shuts the door quickly. I'm about to say something when she clamps her hand over my mouth and shakes her head no. I look at her, confused at what is going on and then I hear it. I hear the soft moans coming from the room next to hers.

"Oh my god this is traumatizing!" I whisper as she takes her hand away. "Why do I want to hear Giles and his wife having sex?"

"Because it's not Giles and Rachel," she whispers back.

"Who is it then?"

"I don't know," she says with a stifled giggle.

"Oh Will, are you ever going to grow up?" I laugh as I sit down on her and Kennedy's bed and sigh out softly. "Where's Kennedy?"

"Went out with a couple of the girls and Rachel while Giles sorts things out down at city hall with the property. I kind of wanted to talk to you."

"About what?"

"About you and Faith."

"It's not happening again," I say softly. "I'm putting a stop to it."

"Good."

"I don't want to though."

"I figured that," Willow says with a soft smile as she sits down beside me. "Buffy I know there's a lot going on right now, especially with Falken, but I think it'd be better for all of us if you figure out what's going on inside your head right now."

"Easier said than done. I keep trying to figure it out, Will. It's hard when there's feelings involved."

"Feelings for who? Faith?" She asks and I just nod my head. "You're in love with her, aren't you?"

"I'm trying not to be!"

"I wish I could say I saw this coming, Buff. Actually, I did see this coming as soon as I found out you and Faith are sleeping together."

"Were sleeping together. It's over. It's not going to happen again."

"It's not going to be easy. Not with her living here with us and always in your personal space."

"She's not always in my personal space."

"She's pretty much taken over your room, Buff," Willow points out and I sigh as I get up from the bed and start pacing. "Do you really think you can quit her cold turkey?"

"Well, I'm not so sure about the cold turkey part," I say with a teasing smile as I let those thoughts of weaning myself off of her invade my mind for a moment. Willow's eyebrows shoot up to her hairline and I laugh as I sit back down next to her. "Not to make this conversation weird or anything, but she's amazing in bed. I think she's the best I've ever had. I don't know if I want to just...stop."

"We all have heard the many stories of Faith and her conquests. We all know she's good in bed," she laughs softly then quickly slips into her resolve face. "Buffy, I just don't want to see you end up hurt. I cannot stand to see you with a broken heart and you and I both know that if this continues with Faith that is exactly what is going to end up happening."

"I know."

"I'm pulling the best friend rank on you right now," she says firmly as she turns and grabs onto my shoulders. "You need to figure this out, Buffy. You need to figure things out with Satsu too. And yes," she stops me before I can say a word, "I know she is going to look past this...thing with Faith and I can't say I blame her for wanting to either. She's in love with you, Buffy, and love makes you do a lot of crazy things sometimes. You and I both know that all too well."

"When did love become so complicated?"

"When you went and fell in love with Faith," she laughs and I shake my head and breathe in deeply. "She doesn't know you're in love with her, does she?"

"No. I don't think I want her to know and I definitely don't want Satsu to know either. God, Will, I should be in love with Satsu, not Faith!"

"Like I said," she says as she stands up from the bed. "You need to figure this out, Buffy. You need to figure this out right away. The last thing we all need is for you to be distracted while we try to deal with Falken and his army."

I know she's right and even though this conversation seems like it's come out of nowhere, I know it really hasn't. It feels long overdue and I lie back on the bed and close my eyes, wondering where I'd even start to try to figure things out. It'd all be so much easier if I wasn't in love with Faith. I look over at Willow as the moans from the spare room pick up and we both burst into a fit of giggles as we try not to listen in. Even in all seriousness, to act like a pair of teenagers while listening to someone else having sex in the next room is just the right amount of silliness we need in our lives right now.

I think Willow knows I don't want to be alone right now. She lies on the bed next to me and I look over at her and smile, just a little. I don't know what I'd do without her sometimes. She knows me better than I know myself and I can't help but wonder just why that is. Then again, not everything needs to be explained and it took me a long time before I had that all figured out. I have a funny feeling it's going to be even longer before I can figure things out when it comes to Faith and Satsu. Sometimes I wonder if I'd just be better off alone.

"You aren't better off alone," Willow whispers. "Sorry, I couldn't help but hear that."

I laugh and shake my head and playfully nudge her in the ribs with my elbow. I close my eyes again and try to clear my head and groan when I hear a crash in my room followed by Faith swearing loudly. I'm starting to think that agreeing to let her stay here is so very bad for my sanity. And my stuff.