Chapter Seventeen
R0bin, Vi, and Rona finally turned up with their team shortly before we were all headed out on patrol. Faith took off as soon as they showed up at the house with her team of girls, promising she'd be back in an hour, two at most. It was nothing short of chaos in the house at first and after a half an hour, everyone seemed to calm down and settle around in the living room while Giles brought them up to speed on everything they needed to know.
Robin hasn't changed at all. I can barely look at him and I know why Faith took off so quickly too. She just didn't want to be around him and I can't blame her for that either. Despite it being four years, her relationship with Robin was the only relationship she'd ever been in even if she flat out denies it. Robin seems uncomfortable being here too, I can tell just by the way he can't seem to sit down for more than five minutes at a time. He and Giles are deep in conversation about the farmhouse and the barn that the Hellmouth seal is buried under. Vi, Rona, Kennedy, and Dawn are all off on the other side of the room, catching up since it's been quite a long time since the four of them were in the same room together. They had formed a bond before everyone had gone their separate ways and although Dawn never spoke of them, I know she missed them like crazy.
I'm starting to feel like having all these teams here and leaving the other Hellmouths around the world unguarded is a bad idea. A very bad idea. They aren't completely unguarded though even with the handful of teams here now. they did leave a few behind, but after what I've seen with Falken, Vivienne and the vampire army that dutifully follows them, two, maybe three girls guarding each Hellmouth won't have a chance in hell against them. It's a definite death sentence.
"How much longer until Falken's appearance changes?" Robin asks and we all shrug. "Nobody knows?"
"Unfortunately, our knowledge on Falken is fairly limited," Giles responds softly. "But, Buffy sliced off his arm. No matter what he transforms into, we'll know."
"Just look for a one armed shape shifting half-demon," Robin says with a laugh. "Sounds easy enough."
"You'd think," I mutter under my breath. I reach for my cup of tea on the coffee table that's grown almost too cold to drink.
"If you were close enough to slice his arm off, why didn't you kill him?" Robin asks me. I sigh softly when he gives me a look, the very same look Faith had given me when she asked me why I didn't kill him too.
"Vivienne had Faith. I was a little more concerned with saving her and the other girls."
"Faith is a big girl. She could've handled herself, Buffy."
I scowl at Robin and get up and leave. I don't want to sit there and be grilled by this man. He has no right to say anything to me right now. He wasn't there during the fight and although he's been filled in on all the details, he still has no right to jump to any conclusions and start pointing the accusation finger at me. I dump my cold tea in the kitchen sink and just stand there and stare out the window into the darkness outside. I can faintly see the glow of a cigarette back there and I know Faith is there instead of out on patrol where she should be right now.
I walk out the back door and head over to where Faith is standing against the tree. I look down to the ground and see a few cigarette butts by her feet and I know she hasn't gone out on patrol at all. She just rolls her eyes at me as I cross my arms over my chest and stare at her. She's angry, I can tell from the look in her eyes and the tenseness I can just sense coming off her in waves.
"Wood giving you shit, isn't he?"
"Yeah," I nod. "He has no right to say anything about what happened a couple of days ago. He wasn't even here!"
"Now you know how I felt being with him when I was. Always has to be in control. Always has to be right even when he ain't. Nobody should have to handle that shit. That man needs a fuckin' reality check sometimes," she mutters and takes a long drag of her cigarette. "Why is he even here?"
"Because we need everyone we can get right now, that's why."
"Shoulda just stayed in Scotland like the good wannabe Watcher he is."
"How come you aren't out on patrol?" I ask her and I watch her carefully as she shrugs and takes another long drag of her cigarette.
"How come you ain't inside with the rest of them?"
"You know I can't stand Robin either. There's just something about him that rubs me the wrong way."
She laughs softly and I shake my head as she offers me a drag of her cigarette. "Don't know how I managed to stick with him for a month before. He always rubbed me the wrong way," she says with a wink and I laugh at the double meaning of her words. "Gotta give the man credit though, he did try."
"And from what I remember, he bruised your ego badly."
"Damn right he did," she laughs and she flicks her cigarette to the ground and crushes it with the toe of her boot. "Feel up to going out on patrol, B?"
"Now?"
"No, tomorrow. Of course right now. Itching to get my hands on a couple vamps, beat them to a pulp. Gotta get out my frustrations somehow, right?"
I shrug and even though I'm starting to feel that same itch, I just shake my head no and decline her offer. I don't want her to know that I can't be alone with her for more than a couple minutes at a time right now. I don't trust myself around her. At all. I think back to the conversation I had with Willow earlier and I know I really have to figure this out, figure out what I want and I know I can't have Faith the way I want her. She seems to see the inner conflict I'm having right now, the raised eyebrow and curious look in her eyes evidence of that. But she doesn't say anything as she quickly lights another cigarette.
"Well, if you ain't coming with, I'll just see ya later, B."
"Faith, I-"
"Whatever is going on in your head, you better figure your shit out, B. Don't drag me into it either."
"Faith, wait," I say as I reach out and grab onto her arm before she can walk away. "Look, I'm trying to figure this out."
"Ain't much to figure out, B. We're just fucking. Ain't nothing more to it."
"That's just it, Faith!" I try to stay calm as she wrenches her arm out of my hold. "There's so much more to it and you are just in fucking denial!"
Way to keep it calm, Buffy. At least I didn't blurt out and tell her I'm falling in love with her. No, not falling. I have completely plunged all the way in love with her even against my own fears of feeling that way about her. She looks too smug as she steps close to me and looks me up and down.
"In denial? Hardly," she whispers as her hand finds its way to my hip. "So enlighten me here, B. What more is it?"
"I-"
"You got feelings for me, don't you?"
"Faith...I-"
"Don't lie to me, B," she cuts me off as she pulls me closer to her until our bodies are far too close for my liking right now. "I know you better than ya think I do. I'm not the one in denial here. You are. You know, what you said the other day about putting a stop to this, I think its bullshit, B. You don't want this to stop. I can bet you anything that all you think about is getting naked with me, feeling my hands touch you in ways she can't and having my hot tongue fuck you senseless."
I stop her when her fingers move to the button on my jeans. I can't let her do this. I can't let her take over me like this. Not here. Not now. Not ever again. She smirks as she steps back and leans against the tree, her eyes raking up and down my body with a hungry, predatory look gleaming in them. That same look never affected me before, but now...now all thoughts kind of seem to float right out of my mind as my body remembers just what it's like to be fucked by her.
"What I wouldn't give to know what you're thinking right now, B, but from the look on your face right now?" Faith chuckles softly as she uses her free hand to trail over her own body and over her breasts slowly, teasing me with sexy, naughty visuals. "You want this, you want me. You can stay in denial land all you want, B. You can stay with Satsu, which you and I both know will never be as fuckin' intense as it is when we're together."
She's just twisted this whole conversation around and I don't even stop her as she walks away and heads for the back gate. I just stand there with my mouth gaping open slightly as I try to figure out how the hell she's turned this all around onto me. I look back up at the house for a split second before I take off after her, catching up with her as she reaches the street.
"Coming on patrol?"
"Yes."
"What changed your mind?"
"Got some of my own frustrations I need to work out," I say under my breath and she laughs as she casually throws her arm over my shoulders. "Don't read into that too much, Faith."
"Oh I've read so far into it, it's impossible to go back to being all naive about it, about you."
"Oh really? Enlighten me then," I say, throwing back her earlier sarcasm right in her face.
Before she can say a word, we're stopped by two large vampires who jump out from behind two parked cars on the street. The vampires have the hungry look in their eyes as they stand in front of us. Faith slips her arm away from my shoulders and flicks her cigarette to the ground as she looks them up and down and lets out a short laugh.
"Hey boys," she drawls as she reaches for a stake she has tucked into the back of her jeans. "Come to play, haven't you?"
"Slayers," the one of the left growled as he held back his friend. "We haven't come to fight. We've come to deliver a message from our Master."
"Well, that's too bad 'cause me and B here were just discussing how we need to work out some frustrations."
"Falken is not pleased with you and your little troupe of mini-Slayers," the other vampire snapped. "Especially the blonde one, which I think might be you, Blondie."
"Hey, nobody gets to call her Blondie but me," Faith says as she takes a step forward and twirls her stake in her hand. "Which one of you boys wanna dance first?"
"Faith," I say softly and I reach out and grab onto her arm. "Let them talk."
"They talked, B. Don't look like they got any useful information between the two of 'em."
"Our Master sends you a warning. You have no idea what's to come, Slayers. You best be prepared for the end of your world and for your deaths, one by one."
I see Faith roll her eyes and I let go of her. She plunges for the vampire on the left, staking him without throwing a single punch. The other looks terrified as he slips out of his game face and takes off running. I'm surprised when she doesn't take off after the vampire and she only blows the dust off from the edge of her stake before she tucks it back into the back of her jeans.
"What is with vamps being fuckin' pussies these days? Can't get a decent fight in anymore. Just wish things would go back to the way they were before Falken and his bitch decided to control them all."
"Be careful what you wish for, Faith."
She shrugs as we continue walking down the sidewalk together, heading straight for the closest cemetery. We don't talk at all the short walk to the cemetery. Faith is chain-smoking, again, and every time I look at her I know she's going through something in her head. I almost wish she'd talk to me about this, but I know she never will discuss the things that run through her mind on a daily basis. It's just not who she is, that much I know.
I forget the fact that I don't want to be alone with her right now. I feel her reach for my hand and I don't pull away, I just intertwine my fingers with hers and find myself smiling a little as she tugs me past the cemetery gates. I have a funny feeling that Faith will never stop surprising me, especially not with small gestures such as taking my hand in hers for no apparent reason.
"How's the hand feel, B?" She asks quietly as she rubs her thumb over mine.
"Sore, but definitely not broken anymore as you can see."
"Good," she says with a soft smile, as we turn down the main pathway onto a smaller one that leads us deeper into the cemetery. "Better make sure you don't break it again. You need both hands, B."
"I can make do with one," I say with a laugh and she chuckles softly as she comes to a stop. "What?"
"Nothin', B."
"Seriously, what?" I ask her as she steps in front of me and doesn't let go of my hand. "Tell me what you're thinking right now."
"Thinkin' of things I shouldn't be thinkin' about in the first place," she responds, her voice barely above a whisper. "You've gotten into my head, B. Can't get you out. Don't know if I want to anymore either. Every fuckin' day that goes by, all I think about is you."
"And that's bad?"
"Yeah," she nods as she raises her other hand and gently cups my cheek. "You know that this can't be, Buffy. I ain't good enough for you. You deserve so much better than anything I can ever offer you. You got a good thing with Satsu. Sorry I came in between you two and fucked it all up."
"You're wrong."
"About what?"
"Everything you just said," I whisper as I step closer to her. "Faith, you were right before when you asked me if I had feelings for you. I do."
"What, you in love with me or something, B?" Faith asks, laughing softly and quickly stopping when she sees how serious I am right now. "Shit. Really?"
"I never asked to fall in love with you. I never thought I'd ever feel this way about you either. But something happened since you and I first kissed. I don't know what it is, but something inside of me just clicked in that moment. I can't not feel the way I do about you now, Faith. Believe me when I tell you I've tried to stop feeling this way and I just can't."
"You should be in love with your girlfriend, not me."
"I know. How screwed up is this?" I laugh as I shake my head slowly. I watch her as she licks over her lips slowly and I lean in and kiss her lightly, lingering for a moment and I pull back when she doesn't kiss me back. "I'm sorry, Faith. I'm really trying not to feel this way about you. Believe me, I am. I want to do the right thing, but I honestly don't know what the right thing to do is anymore."
"B?" She says as she lets out a shaky breath and quickly let's go of my hand and takes a couple steps back. "We got company."
I sigh as I turn around to see Robin, Vi, Rona, and Kennedy headed our way. The little moment that was building between Faith and I is completely shattered now and I try not to look as upset as I feel as the others join us. Faith stays back, avoiding Robin as he informs us there's a group of vampires on the east end of the cemetery that needs to be eliminated.
We quickly make plans to approach the group of vampires from two sides and I can only watch as Faith heads off with Kennedy and Rona, leaving me to go with Vi and Robin. I ignore both of their more than curious looks as we head off in the opposite direction. The last thing I want to deal with now on top of everything else is having to explain what's going on between Faith and I. I try to shake it from my mind as we approach the east end of the cemetery and the sounds of fighting can be heard before we even make it over the seven foot high stone wall.
Satsu and a few other girls are in the middle of a fight with what looks to be with two dozen vampires or more. Faith, Rona, and Kennedy are trying to lure a handful of them away from Satsu and a few of the younger girls. I feel my whole body buzz with anticipation for a good slay. I need it just as much as I know Faith does. I grab the stake Robin pulls out of his jacket and I jump into the fight, wasting no time in dusting a few vampires as I make my way to the center of the group and find my place next to Satsu.
I ignore the attitude in her glare when she looks over at me and focus on fighting and not getting myself bit or killed. I try not to pay attention to anyone else other than the vampires I'm currently fighting, but my eyes drift over to Faith and a surge of arousal rips through my body. Oh boy, I am so much trouble if I keep these thoughts up. So much trouble. I'm starting to see more and more of why falling for Faith is not the greatest idea. But I'm in far too deep now to pull myself out and when I look over at Faith again, I know I don't want to pull myself out. Yep, definitely in a lot of trouble here...