Grant seems to notice. "Do you ever stopthinking of who you're gonna fuck next?" He asks me teasingly. I snap out of my stare at Johanna Mason and glare it him. "No, of course you don't. Teenage whore-mones and all that crap." I frown when he emphasizes the word 'whore'.
I raise an eyebrow at him. I need to act like me."No, I don't. And I don't need to stop, because I can get anyone woman I'd like." I retort. This friendly argument is getting a little hostile. We stop talking when the tributes dressed as (surprise, surprise) coal miners from District 12 round the city circle and come to a stop in front of President Snow. He gives the speech he says every year to welcome the tributes, the crowd cheers, and all the mentors are brought downstairs with the escorts to meet up with their tributes. I walk down the line trying to find Steph. She's talking to of all people, Johanna Mason. I walk over. "Hey, Steph." I smile at her charmingly. "If it isn't the Johanna Mason." I grin at her and wink subtly. She rolls her dark brown eyes and folds her arms over her chest.
"You two know each other?" Steph asks, confused. She takes her hair down from the bun it was in. I look at Johanna, silently asking her if we know each other. She raises an eyebrow and shakes his head.
"I'm friends with her mentor, Blight." I lie, smoothly. "It was nice to officially meet you." I stick out my hand, and shake hers. Johanna's hand is soft. I wonder if the rest of her body is as soft. We're interrupted by the arrival of Ariel in her lime green wig to take us upstairs. She walks over to us in her at least five-inch high heeled shoes. "Hello, Ariel." I bite my lip a little and give her a slightly seductive look.
Her sheet white face turns bright red. "H-hi Finnick, hi Stephanie." She answers, flustered. I smirk a little. It's just too easy to make girls like you. If I smile or wink in their general direction, they think I'm in love or something. No wonder Grant has a reputation as a player. As we walk away, I turn around for a moment to wiggle my eyebrows at Johanna. She shakes her head, and Blight laughs. I decide I like Blight. He seems cool and funny. Ariel chats non-stop in the short elevator ride up to the 4th floor, and keeps glancing back at me, as if she's seeking my approval. It's honestly really funny. Stephanie notices this and we both crack up in laughter as we walk out of the elevator.
We all eat dinner together: Effie, Grant, Natalie (who just got back and looks very unhappy, to say the least. Not that I blame her.), me, Steph, Nick and their two stylists. They have new stylists, so I have no idea who they are or what their names are. Of course, they know me. I'm the Capitol's hottest new thing. They love me. We chat about mundane things that are appealing to the Capitol, like the current fashion trends and which celebrity is dating that super hot guy. "How do you know all this?" Steph asks me.
"My dad's wife is from the Capitol, and she tries to educate me on these type of things," I explain. It's so dumb, but I obviously don't say that. Ariel seems impressed and makes an unnecessary comment about how I'm more civilized than most people in District 4. She just called District 4 uncivilized. Coming from the person who enjoys watching kids fight to the death on television, I think, trying very hard to keep my facial expression neutral. It's pretty difficult, and Stephanie shoots me a confused and concerned look. I shake my head at her and mouth, Why are you looking at me like that? Everything's fine, seriously. Don't worry. She nods and chews on a fork-full of miniature vegetables served in some type of butter sauce.
I feel like a little kid around everyone here. Nick's the same age, but it seems as if Ariel, Grant, Natalie and Steph treat me like a younger brother or something. I might be overreacting, but it's starting to bother me. I'm a mentor, not a tribute. Ideally, I'd like to be treated like one. Then again, the Capitol treats me like an adult, I remind myself, wincing at memories of my last sexual encounter. There's nothing I love and hate more than the people in the Capitol. They adore me and everything I do, but they cause so much pain in my life, both physically and emotionally. I look around and the sullen avox in the corner. Her pale hands folded by her waist, her head down, her long brown hair tied at the nape of her neck. I wonder what she did to become an avox, get her tongue cut out and have to wait on us for the rest of her life. She must hate the Capitol even more than I do. I suddenly feel bad, she has a much harder life here than I do.
After dinner, I decide to talk to Grant. I knock on his door, unsure how to start the conversation. We're friends, and he's the mentor I'm using for this part of my life. It's like the Games never really ended; but this time instead of fighting to keep myself alive, I'm fighting to keep my loved ones alive. It's both easier and harder to do so now. He opens up the door and lets me in, locking it behind me. He scratches on some panel in the wall, and pushes a button. "I turned off the bug. It'll last for half an hour, and for that time nobody'll hear us. Something's on your mind, it's been bothering you for a while. Tell me, whats up?" Grant explains. I'm glad he noticed that I've been preoccupied. It makes all of this easier for me to say. I take a deep breath and start, venting out everything that's been on my mind.
"I may be a victor, but I didn't win by any means," I state. Grant says nothing, so I continue. "Nick and Stephanie - one or both of them are going to die. We'll have more deaths on our hands, more guilt. The Capitol loves me, but they love me in all the wrong ways. I'm fifteen years old, that's not even legal for another year! It's sick. They know, no he knows that I'll do anything to keep my family alive, and he's using my love against me. To think he has kids and manages to let these Games happen... that's so sick. What if his children were reaped? He knows the love parents have, and he doesn't care. It's- it's appalling." I vent, letting all my frustration out in one breath. I feel better already. I decide it then - I'm going to find out all the dirt there is on President Snow. The people I sleep with must know the Capitol gossip, and there has to some on President Snow.
Grant muses for a moment before telling me, "Look, Finnick. I'm gonna be honest with you. You may not be an adult, but I'm sure gonna treat you like on. This life, our life, it's very difficult. Nightmares, celebrity gossip and paparazzi, mentoring, and in some cases, prostitution. It sucks, it really does. But we're a lot better off than if we were dead."
"Do you have any loved ones?" I ask him. I've never seen or met any of Grant's family. He knows so much about me, but I realize how little I actually know about Grant. I thought he was a player and flirt, but that's just his Capitol persona.
"My parents. I'm an only child and I don't have a girlfriend or anything. My parents mean the world to me," Grant says, "I feel like I need to protect them, even if technically their job is to protect me. I have enough money that they were able to retire, and are pretty happy. I can't imagine what would've happened to them if I died in the arena..." He trails off.
I smile a little at him, unsure what I should possibly say. "You're right," I smile at him. "All of this is worth it, because I'm protecting my family and friends. Thanks. And you don't have a girlfriend? Not Natalie?" I ask, before I walk out. I guess I always just assumed that Grant and Natalie were an item since they both are good friends, and get each other.
Grant laughs and shakes his head. "No, she's my best friend but that's it. Go to bed or something." He walks over to the 'bug' in the wall, and I head into my room. I go to sleep early - around ten. I'm usually up pretty late since I have nothing to do in the morning anyways. Regardless, my nightmares are nothing short of terrifying. There's not just one, but small vignettes. The scariest are Adrienne drowning, getting (for lack of a better word) raped by that man, and Annie being killed in the Arena. I wake up, startled. According to the clock by my bed, it's a few minutes after one thirty in the morning. shudder when I realize that all three of those could easily happen if I don't do a good job at my jobs. I groan and pull my blanket over my head, attempting to get a few more precious hours of sleep.
I wake up again at three or four in the morning. I'm fed up by all of this. I don't have to wake up until noon. I'm terrified to go back to sleep, and I don't want to lie awake for six or seven hours either. I stumble into the bathroom in the dark, and go through the medicine cabinet. I find the purple bottle I've seen at least five hundred times before - sleep syrup. I pour the medicine from the bottle into the little plastic cup and gulp it down, thankful for the somewhat pleasant taste. Most medicine tastes horrible. By the time I've managed to put the sleep syrup bottle away and crawl back into my warm bed, the medicine has began to work, and I feel myself drifting off.
I don't wake up until eleven thirty. I feel relaxed, and refreshed. That was the nicest sleep I've had since I was reaped. I throw on sweatpants over my boxers and order some orange juice and toast from the brunette avox. While I wait for whoever makes my breakfast to finish, I go outside to see who's awake. Ariel's sitting on the couch, reading some glossy-covered fashion tabloid, and talking to a very bored-looking Natalie. She smiles brightly when she sees me. She's seems very motherly, or like she'd be a good mother. She's... nurturing, which is probably helpful for being a mentor. "Morning Finnick! You must've slept well." Ariel says hi as well, and they go back to gossiping about what celebrity wore that outfit, and which shoes and all that girl crap nobody really understands why they're interested in.
The avox brings me my food and I thank her warmly, before sitting down and eating my toast. It's really good; I don't think anyone can deny that the food in the Capitol is nothing short of fantastic. I crunch and sip for a while, and look at the clock. It's a little after twelve. My car is picking me up at one to take me to my two appointments today. I pray they're both girls. I read the Capitol newspaper, which is actually informative. It has articles about what's going on with district productions, and important things (unlike that fashion crap). After that, I get dressed and when I get back out, I see that Natalie's done the same. She's applying lipstick, and then calls me over. "Let's get out of here?" She asks me. I really don't want to, but who really has a choice about these kinds of things.
We walk to the elevator, and take it to a parking lot I've never seen before. She pulls a cigarette out of her bag, and sets it on fire. "Long route," Natalie explains, before taking a drag as I follow her down a path. She blows out smoke and I try hard not to cough at the smell. "It's terrible that he makes you do this. I know you don't wanna be treated like a kid, but you still are. You shouldn't have to do this. It's- there's no words for how sorry I am for you, Finnick." We spend the rest of the walk to the car and the car ride in silence. It's not awkward, there's just nothing to say. I reluctantly get out of the car and walk to my first client. *
Both of them were girls. There's no words to describe how relived I am. Natalie, on the other hand, doesn't look happy at all. Not that I blame her. Apparently, this is worse for girls. But they age quicker, so they spend less time being used.
When we get back to the hotel, I have enough time to take a long shower. I experiment with all the buttons in the shower, until I find my favorites. I use the artificial-ocean scent body wash and some white cream that makes my hair smooth and shiny. I never really cared about this kind of things, but now that I'm in the Capitol, I need to start acting like it.
I decide to visit Blight. He seems cool. When I push 7, I find him laughing and drinking with Haymitch and Grant. They all say hello and call me over to sit next to them in the living room. Grant hands me his cup filled with something clear. "Do ya want some?" He asks me, "It's pretty good."
I take a small sip of the clear liquid, fully aware that this is the peer pressure crap they tell us about in school. The smell makes my eyes water, and it burns my throat. I cough and sputter for a few minutes, and Haymitch guffaws loudly at the sight. Blight smiles a little. "That's disgusting," I scoff, "why the hell would anyone drink that?"
Haymitch rolls his eyes and smirks a little. "Finnick, Finnick, Finnick. You have a lot to learn. What would you do without us? Lesson number one. Nobody drinks alcohol for the taste, they drink it cause it gets you really fucking drunk. Lesson number two. Stay away from the morphs. Sure, sure they're nice or whatever, but that shit'll fuck you up."
"Don't smoke." Blight tells me, joining in on the conversation. "Natalie's nice and all, and she may like it, but it's really addicting. You don't want that to become your life. Also, use condoms. Seriously. You don't wanna get someone pregnant."
"Oh look who it is." Grant mutters under his breath. I turn around and see an angry-looking Johanna Mason stalk into her room, slamming the door behind her. "Well then..." he mutters.
"What is she even doing back here? Training doesn't end for another hour and a half," Blight muses. None of us have the slightest idea. When she comes back out of her room, hair wet and naked body wrapped in a very short towel, I can't help staring. I can tell she's trying to impress someone, because she has a ton of eye makeup on, and nobody's lips are naturally that shade of red. Blight's voice brings me out of my thoughts. "Johanna, why are you here? You should be at training."
She rolls her brown eyes at him. "Okay, mom. But seriously, it's so stupid. I'm not gonna learn anything new, especially with that dumb-ass angle you created..." She trails off, and then turns to me. "Holy fuck, Finnick Odair. Can you please stop checking me out? I'd be lying if I said I didn't like male attention, but it's getting a bit annoying." Grant laughs, and I shoot him a look.
"I'll stop checking you out when you stop trying to impress me. Nobody has makeup on when they get out of the shower." I fire back, trying to stay cool.
"Because you'd know what people look like when they get out of the shower." Johanna tries to counter me, but we both know she's trying to impress me. Or am I just really that cocky? Well I'm not cocky without reason, really.
"I would, actually. I also know what they look like in the shower." I retort, sounding cockier than ever. That seems to shut her up and she huffs away, going to get dressed. I laugh as she struts away. She's not fooling anybody. "Blight, whats your angle for her? It seemed to piss her off a lot."
He laughs, and shrugs. "I'm not supposed to tell you, but you seem cool. Whatever. Johanna said she's really good, so we're portraying her as a weakling because with her personality, she's not gonna form any alliances." I laugh a little because its true. Blight looks at me for a moment before asking, "What's with you and her? You have some serious chemistry."
Grant laughs. "Chemistry? Try sexual tension. He's been drooling over her since his victory tour." I scowl at him. "What? It's true." I have to try very hard to not throw something at him.
The rest of the day is pretty boring. Ariel spends all of dinner chatting about something dramatic that happened in the Capitol that nobody really cares about. It's really funny but Grant looks sick of it. I look at shy little Nick and unhappy Steph. They have the last day of training tomorrow where they get their scores, their interviews the day after, and then they're gone to fight to the death. At least one of them is not coming home. After dinner, I decide to talk to them in my room. "Alright, I know you don't want to think about this, but one or both of you won't be coming home in a week or two. I don't think I'm supposed to do this, but I want to." I hand them a few pieces of paper. "You can write letters to you family and friends at home, and I'll give it to them if you don't make it back."
They sit there in silence for a few minutes, and for the first time ever I hear Nick speak. His voice is quiet, but unexpectedly deep. "Thank you, Finnick," He says so sincerely, I feel like I've really made an impact in their lives. Stephanie says nothing but her eyes shine with unshed tears, and gives me a long hug. They leave my room to write their letters, and I'm sure I've done the right thing.
Sadly, my good conscience doesn't let me fall asleep easy. I lie awake, tossing and turning the whole night. When I finally fall asleep, I wake up panicking over some nightmare where Nick's family kills me. It's absolutely terrifying. I hate this. I don't want to rely on the sleep medicine for every night, so I don't take any. I just want to forget the nightmares, the terrifying memories. Can't I just escape reality for a few hours in sleep? Apparently not. Oh, well. I just wish there was some safe way to escape it all and just feel okay for a few hours - not alcohol or morphling or cigarettes. Even when I'm happy, I get reminded of everything bad that's in my life. Sure, I'm not starving or freezing or alone with no family and friends, but that doesn't make me happy. I've killed twelve people, I don't have a mother, my family is scared of me, the girl I like doesn't care about me. Well Annie cares about me, but in a friendly, platonic way. She'd never actually kiss me or hold my hand or love me. It's almost funny - I'm considered one of the most attractive men in Panem, and the one girl I have feelings for doesn't care for me. What are the odds of that? Then again, I'm kind of glad Annie treats me like normal, instead of fawning over me like every other girl back at home and in the Capitol. I can be myself around her. It's nice.
The next day is the same as the previous. I lie in bed as late as I can, get in the car and sleep with two women, then come back to the training center apartments. I hang out with Blight, Grant, Haymitch and Natalie for a little, but I don't see Johanna. The tributes have their private sessions with the Gamemakers, and then they come back up. I sit on the couch with Ariel, Grant, Natalie, the stylists, Nick and Steph as we wait for Caesar Flickerman to read off the list of training scores.
It's a pretty normal year. The tributes from 1 and 2 get scores from 7 to 10, Nick gets a 6, Steph gets an 8. Good, she'll be a Career. Steph says that they already formed an alliance. Nobody else really seems that interesting in my opinion, they don't stand out. Besides Johanna Mason. She gets a 6. That only stands out, because if that's her acting weak, she must be really good. A small part of me wants her to win, and I feel terrible about that since I should be rooting for my tributes. Then again, I've never really done what I've supposed to.
Helping Stephanie and Nick with their interview strategies is actually difficult. I try to help Nick be intelligent and smart, but he's too shy to pull it off. He always trails off in the middle of his sentences as if he thinks I've stopped listening. I contemplate making Stephanie flirty - she has the looks for it, but every time I try flirting with her, she blushes so much her face turns bright red and she laughs so hard she falls off my bed. So I pass her off to Natalie to talk to.
Then, Steph and Nick are taken away to get prepped for their interview, and I don't have appointments, so I play cards with some of the other mentors and take small sips from some of Natalie's fruity drink. They let me drink sometimes, but they won't let me get drunk. I understand why. I'm legally not aloud to drink until I'm sixteen. It's funny cause the Capitol will let me sleep with women and men who are ten, twenty even thirty years older than me, but I can't drink alcohol. Oh, the irony.
The interviews are normal as well. The classically beautiful blonde girl from 1 is flirty, and the boy is funny. The girl from 2 is fierce, and the boy is aggressive. Before I know it, it's Stephanie's turn. Caesar welcomes her to the stage, and kisses her hand. She's wearing a long tight but flowing gown that is silver and sea blue. They curled her hair and it flows over her shoulder and down her back like waves in the ocean. Her stylist must know what she's doing. Caesar and her chat for a little. Stephanie's interview strategy is sweet and mysterious. She only half-answers the questions, so it makes the audience want to know more. It's a fantastic idea, honestly. Nick, however, is forgettable. So are most of the tributes, and then it's Johanna's turn.
She's wearing a tight fitting tree green dress that shows off her fantastic body. Her hair is always up in a bun, but today it's down and I see how long it is. It goes all the way to her lower back, and is straight but curls up a little at the bottom. Caesar greets her and then they chat about the reaping, her strategy and her training score. "So, Johanna. You seem very smart, and got a good training score. What do you think your chances are that you'll win this?"
She smiles sadly, but I see the gleam of a killer in her eyes. I know it, because my eyes have the same. "To be honest Caesar, I really don't think I have any chance of winning."
A/N: Hey, guys. On a bit of a serious note, nobody's been reviewing. It's kind of hard to continue if it looks like nobody's interested.
R&R!