Evelyn Ward was the first person awake this morning. She got out of the bed she shared with her husband and took a nice warm bath. She'd taken to humming while she was in the bathroom and this morning, a popular jazz song filled the air. It was Monday. The first day of the week. That meant it was time for school, her husband would be headed out to work and traffic on the road would resume as usual.

So many people dreaded Mondays, but this was one of her favourite days of the week. She got dressed and headed for the kitchen. She went through the routine of packing the kid's lunches. Donna and Jocelyn her two precious girls were fond of tuna sandwiches on white and Jocelyn her youngest had to have hers with the crusts cut off. She also packed their favourite cookies, fruit, some juice and some water. Now it was time to get them into their baths so she could start breakfast.

Monday breakfasts were a treat, she made them especially hearty. She served pancakes, scrambled eggs – "Make mine with cheese." Jocelyn would say – and sizzling bacon or sausages. The kids got dressed and sat at the table, eagerly waiting to stuff their mouths with the delicious meal.

Evelyn Ward sipped on her coffee as she watched them; she loved the aroma and the taste of the new brew her husband had bought for her.

"Now Donna, take your time." She watched as her eldest daughter packed one forkful of eggs after the other into her mouth. She had a healthy appetite. "I swear I don't know where you put it all." She shook her head and smiled.

Donna let out an embarrassed little giggle, nodded her head, and took some of the bacon off of her baby sister's plate when her mother stopped looking. It didn't go without protest and they started bickering at the table.

"What's going on you two? Jocelyn…." She said with her back turned, looking over her shoulder. She knew just how mischievous they could both be.

"She started it." Young Joss declared.

"And of course you had to end it right? Stop fighting you two. Family is all you have at the end of the day. Now apologize. And Donna, put back whatever you stole."

"I can't mommy." She said.

"And just why not?" Evelyn asked.

"I already ate it."

"Donna, you taking my little baby's food again?" Phillip Ward walked into the kitchen, kissing Jocelyn on her cheeks and he tousled Donna's hair. He walked up to his wife putting his arms around her waist and kissed her neck before planting a few on her lips.

"I love you baby." He said.

"Hmmm…..What's got you in such a good mood this morning?" Evelyn asked.

"I need to stay as positive as possible. I've got the meeting with the bank manager this morning, remember?"

"How could I forget?" She said turning back to the stove.

"I've got a good feeling Evie. It's gonna be alright, trust me." He whispered in her ear, before kissing her goodbye. Whatever it was brought a gleam to her eye and nodded her head and closed her eyes.

While her sister hadn't noticed, Jocelyn had witnessed the exchange between her parents and a look of curiosity was on her face and she wondered about what was said.

Evelyn collected the dirty dishes from the table and loaded them into the dishwasher a few minutes later when she felt a tug on her dress. There was Jocelyn looking up at her with doe eyes and an inquisitive expression.

"What is it baby?" she asked bending down to her eye level.

"I wanna know what daddy whispered before he left."

"It's just a little something we say to each other whenever he leaves for work." She bent over and whispered in her daughter's ear and she heard her giggle.

"Your love gives me wings."

The apartment was dark when she got there and Carter walked around in the open space. She took her coat off and put it on the bed and turned in the direction of the closet. The light was on and she slowly walked towards it. Carter spotted Reese on the ground slumped against the wall at the back. He was still and showed no signs that he realized that she had come in.

"John?"

She carefully approached him as she saw his head turn in her direction. She didn't like the look on his face. Normally he was always intensely focused, confident, sure of himself. Right now he looked extremely lost, his expression blank. This wasn't the man she'd come to know. This was the man who she met in the precinct after getting into a fight with Antoine and his crew.

He watched her walk toward him, watched as she stared at him, looking at her dress from the charity event that was in his lap. She was surprised that it was still there. She didn't think he'd keep it after she left.

"What are you doing here, Joss?" He asked quietly. His voice was raspy and low. It sounded like he hadn't used it in months. His eyes were red and the usual stubble he had, had grown considerably. He looked like a man in pain. She had to figure out a way to soothe it.

"Well Finch called me. He told me he hadn't heard from you and he was worried. He said you pulled a gun on him. Is that true?"

He looked away from her gaze at the mention of Finch's name like he was replaying what had transpired in his mind again. He was focused on the dress in his lap, staring at the fabric and his right hand moved over it, slowly.

"I'll take that as a yes." She said and she knelt down in front of him. "He said he was worried about you. He had to be, if he called me."

She reached out and put her hand on his arm wondering what he was thinking.

"Do you need some help?"

Those words got his attention for a minute and he looked at her again. There was a flicker of something behind his eyes, but it appeared and left just as quickly as it came. She moved the dress out of his lap and she saw his gun still in his left hand near him on the ground. She reached for it, and his grip tightened on it, not wanting to let it go.

"Are you gonna make me leave too, John? You gonna pull a gun on me too?" She put her hand on his shoulder and he closed his eyes slowly.

"Give it to me, John. Let me have it." She touched his face then, pleading with him. "You're safe with me, you don't need this. Come on, give it to me."

She was relieved as she felt him loosen his grip and he let her take it from his hand. She reached over his head and put it on a shelf in the back of him. She lowered herself on the ground next to him and just sat there for a moment wondering just how he got to this point. What had happened to cause him to regress like this?

How would she get through to him?

It was still early in the evening. Taylor was at her mom's place, so she knew he'd be alright. She and Martin had made plans for this evening, but as she looked at John sitting beside her she realized how much he needed her right now and she couldn't leave him like this.

"I'm not sure what's going on in that head of yours right now, but I'm here, John. For as long as you need me to be. I won't leave you until you're okay. If you want to talk, I'll be here. If you just want me to sit with you, I'll be here."

She looped her arm through his and held his hand linking their fingers together. He didn't respond, but she was determined to wait it out. She leaned into him, resting her head on his arm.

Even though she'd taken the dress from him, she noticed his gaze was still fixed on it. For a brief moment she flashed back to the first night it was delivered to her house. She felt excited taking it out of the garment bag. She'd stared at it as it hung up in her bedroom and when she finally wore it that night at the charity event she couldn't help feeling like a princess at a ball. The look on his face when he saw her had been priceless and the fabric swayed as they danced together later that evening. She smiled thinking about how he had taken the dress off of her after they went back to his apartment. Memories. So many memories were attached to that dress.

"I'm surprised you kept it. I honestly thought you'd get rid of it."

Memories, she thought once more. That's why he kept it. He wanted to remember that night they were together. A part of him still hadn't let her go. He was trying to hold onto her as much as he was trying to push her away. He probably felt as if things were closing in on him.

Where would she begin?

"You know the size of this closet has me convinced that a woman had to have owned this place before you did. I mean the shelving, this large mirror covering the back wall, plush carpeting. Had to be a woman right?"

She crossed her feet in front of her and continued, despite a lack of response from him.

"It kinda reminds me of when my sister and I used to play dress up in our mom's clothes. We'd throw on her pearls, her high heels and put her lipstick on. Donna used to love to try on different outfits, but there was this one dress of my mom's that I absolutely loved. It was always my first choice and I made sure Donna never got to wear it. It was black, sleeveless and cinched at the waist. The neckline wasn't nearly as low as this was, but it was pretty daring back in the day. And it had the most elegant beading. My mom turned heads when she wore it."

She smiled a little as she pictured her and her sister walking in front of her mom's full length mirror, puckered up lips and striking poses until Evelyn Ward would come in with the intention of scolding them for ruining her clothes of course. But she'd always end up playing dress up along with them, dissolving in giggles on the bed at the end of their 'fashion show.' Her dad would come in the room and say that his grown wife was just as bad as the girls.

"Donna and I were so close. We are close. We'd tell each other everything. I loved seeing her so much last year over Thanksgiving. There's nothing like family." She turned to him quickly as she felt him squeeze her hand tightly. She pulled his hand close to her chest and saw that tears were in his eyes.

She reached up and stroked his head, and rested her hand at the nape of his neck.

"It's okay." She said soothingly.

"Morgan." He said. "I had a sister named Morgan."

In all the time she'd known him, he'd never mentioned his family, let alone a sister who he seemed to have cared so much about.

"Tell me about her, John." She asked and he turned to face her. The almost vacant look in his eyes was gone. Now he was stripped bare, the expression on his face open, and she sensed that he was ready to let her in. "Tell me." She coaxed, with her hand still on his face.

She felt it was important that she touch him. He needed to know that he wasn't alone. He needed to feel comfortable and safe.

"She was my twin sister. She had my dark hair, the same eyes, the most beautiful smile. She was the most precious thing in the world to me growing up. She was just…..so loving, so…..giving. We were very close to each other, connected. She made me feel like I could do anything, be anything."

She nodded as he went on and once he started to talk about her, he couldn't stop. She listened to stories of their mother, their father, the abuse they endured, verbal and physical. Her heart broke and ached for him as he talked about how Morgan died, and hear his anger at his mother for standing there doing nothing. He seemed to relive the whole ordeal all over again and he squeezed her hand so tightly as he forced the words to come out.

He had no concept of a happy family. While she had grown up feeling loved and protected, he'd had the exact opposite. Now she understood his fear and why he had bolted.

He hadn't felt any sorrow over his parents' death. He hadn't allowed himself to grieve or any of them. He just pushed it all in the back of his mind, and finally it was catching up with him.

She realized how everything had all tied into Jessica's death too. First he lost his sister, the only real connection he felt to the world. He finally found something in Jessica, but lost it too when he left her to rejoin the military, then the CIA after 9/11.

He was in a vicious cycle that he needed to break. Maybe it was good that this had happened. After all it had forced him to finally speak of his sister's death, something that clearly still haunted him to this day.

"I couldn't save her." He said.

"No you couldn't have, John. But it's not your fault. Your father is responsible for her death, not you. You were just a kid and it was your parents' job to love you and take care of you, to protect you. They are the ones who failed Morgan, not you, John."

They were facing each other now on the floor and he she looked into his eyes cupping his face in her hands.

"Do you hear me? They are the ones who failed her, not you. You loved her more than anyone and she loved you back. You didn't fail her."

She held him then and she felt his arms wrap around her. He held onto her tightly and she felt as he must have when he held her after bringing Taylor home. She wanted to give him the same comfort he'd given her that night.

"You're such a good man. I wish you could understand how important you are, not just to me but to so many people, John."

She felt him letting go as she held him and he held onto her. She didn't see it as a weakness she saw it as a strength. He was finally finding the courage to face who he was.

"What do you miss most about her?" She asked, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

She listened as he started talking again, and bit by bit she felt as if the dark cloud around him was starting to recede. Amidst the nostalgia and the stories he told, a light came back to his eyes and her heart turned over when one particular memory caused him to smile. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen, she thought.

Her cell phone rang and though she looked in the direction of it on the floor beside her she ignored it.

His eyes bore into hers intensely. He said nothing, but she knew he was holding his breath wondering if she'd answer it, wondering if she'd leave. She picked it up and diverted the call to her voicemail. She switched it to silent then put it back on the carpet.

He squeezed her hand then, tightening his fingers around hers.

"Why'd you keep the dress, John?" She asked softly.

He looked away, and she hoped the small progress he made wouldn't end because of her question.

"I needed something….something to remember you by. It was a way to….feel close to you."

She nodded at his quiet admission and it caused tears to come to her eyes. He still missed her after all this time. Just like she still missed him.

"I did a very stupid thing. I hurt you in a horrible way. I was mean, I was cruel and…you didn't deserve it, Joss." She felt stupid, thinking she should be over that by now, but his apology for how he treated her that morning felt like salve over a stinging wound. She nodded her head trying not to cry.

"I am so sorry for hurting you. I know I don't deserve it but, can you forgive me?"

His words were heartfelt, his expression so sincere and with tears in his eyes she knew he meant it.

"I forgive you. I forgive you, John."

He hugged her again relieved that she forgave him and it felt good to be in his arms.

"Are you ready to get off this floor now? Cause I am." She got to her feet and held her hand out to help him up. "Come on." He got up resting his arm on her shoulder and they walked out of the closet together.

It was just past midnight and the lights of the city filtered in through the windows. There was a slight chill in the air and she ran her hands up and down her arms trying to warm them up.

"Have you eaten?" She asked turning to him. "Do you need me to get you anything?"

"Stay here tonight with me, Joss. Please." He said. "I just…Can you stay please? Just for tonight."

She came here tonight because he needed her help. He still needed her; she couldn't leave him just yet.

"Okay. Okay I will."

They lie in bed together for a long time later talking some more until he finally drifted off to sleep, holding her in his arms. He held onto her so tightly almost as if he was afraid she'd leave in the middle of the night and he'd wake up alone. She felt such a tremendous relief that he was much better than he was when she got there. She'd gotten him to talk to her, open up about the loss of his family, his sister and he apologized for hurting her. He had an incredible breakthrough.

But tears were silently running down her cheeks and she felt confused. She was crying for the boy who'd endured so much at the hand of this father and the neglect of his mother. She was crying for the boy who lost his sister and was left without a family. She was crying for the man who didn't know how to receive love because he felt he didn't deserve it.

She was crying for herself because this was where she wanted to be. She knew, after all they'd been through, she still loved him. Here with him, lying in his arms was where she felt she belonged. Right now though, she wondered if he was ready to be in a relationship. She wasn't sure if he ever would be after tonight.

Whatever progress he made was fragile at best, but she guessed at least it was a step in the right direction.

Tonight, she had been his friend. She had been his shoulder to lean on. Maybe right now, that was all he needed.

Love Hill at Lookout Crossing – 7pm

"What do you want to be when you grow up, John?"

Her smile was infectious, he thought. The light in her eyes bright, untainted and her dark hair was caught in the breeze. He'd never felt closer to another human being. Not his father, not even his mother. Nobody was as close to him as Morgan was.

One conversation with her could block out the screams coming from the other room. One word would help him to forget the bruises he watched his mother cover up with concealer. Her laughter could drive away the hopelessness he felt at the two of them being trapped in a home that everyone thought was perfect but was far from it.

She was his light.

Now they were here, sitting at the edge of this cliff, looking out over the horizon. It was so peaceful and quiet. He was in awe of his surroundings and the natural beauty there.

They could talk about anything right now at this moment; the trees, the sunset, the golden light hitting the rocks. But she wanted to know about his dreams.

"You heard me, John. What do you want to be?"

He shrugged at her question. "I don't know, Morgan."

"Yes you do. Don't be shy. It's me remember? We tell each other everything."

"I was thinking I wanted to teach. Maybe math or science. I'd love to work with kids."

"You can do it, John. You can be whatever you want to be. I think you'd be a wonderful teacher." She said holding his hand.

"What about you? What do you want to do?" the sun was shining its last bit of light on them.

"I want to fly."

He laughed at her then. "You're crazy."

"That's what I want. To grow wings and fly off into the sunset, far away from here and never look back."

There were tears in her eyes, but she wiped them away and smiled. "I can picture it now. We'll both leave together, you'll be a teacher and I'll finally put this place behind me. We'll never speak of it again. We won't have to, because we'll be free." She squeezed his hand and together they closed their eyes.

Then there was nothing but light, blinding light and he felt as if they were floating. Maybe she was right; maybe they could grow wings and fly away together. Maybe they didn't have to stay where they were; they could really be free after all.

He remembered light.

There had been blinding light and he'd dreamt about his sister again. This time there wasn't the disturbing image of her in a hospital bed or her being thrown against a wall. But they were simply enjoying each other's company while watching the sun set.

It was a beautiful memory and he hoped to hold onto it for many years to come.

He looked down to see Carter still asleep in his arms. She hadn't moved an inch and he felt glad that she was still there. How had he allowed her to slip away? Why had he pushed her out of his life? She was the best thing that had happened to him, he knew. But it had taken him so long to realize it. Now she was with someone else and it was too late to do anything about it.

Could there possibly be a chance she still cared about him?

Of course she did, she was still here in his bed at his request even though she was in a relationship with another man.

Maybe it was better this way. Maybe it was better to simply have her respect and her friendship again. It was more than he deserved after he had hurt her so badly.

She stirred in her sleep and he heard her whisper his name.

It made him smile and he wondered at her dreams. He planted a soft kiss to her shoulder before he closed his eyes again and drifted back to sleep.

"…sorry about that, Martin. I had a family emergency last night."

Reese heard Carter's voice in his ears and believed that he had to be dreaming. But the sound continued and he opened his eyes to see her on his couch talking on her cell phone.

"…no Taylor's fine. A really close friend really needed me. I'm still at her place. I'm sorry about dinner. But I'll make it up to you, I promise."

He remembered last night, her coming to the apartment, her talking to him until he felt something come alive inside him again.

Do you need some help?

Her question took him back to the first time they met. She had been almost an angel that day waking him up from his drunken stupor. Last night she'd been his angel again and she pulled him out of the dark once more.

He sat up slowly as he heard her giggle and got up out of bed. He went into the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. She was wrapping up the call when he got back and he heard her mention the trip that was planned for next week. She had to be talking to Thompson. He clenched his jaw thinking about what he could have said to make her laugh the way she had just now.

"I have to go, Martin. I'll call you later this evening." She walked toward him with a smile on her face. She'd put her hair into a ponytail and she was fresh faced and beautiful. "Good morning." She said.

"Good morning."

"So I made you some breakfast. Your favourite actually. Or was it mine? But anyway, there are pancakes and eggs and…."

"….bacon." He finished.

"Yes."

"Hmmmm…." He said and walked into the kitchen. "You didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to."

"If you have to leave…..I mean…your phone call….I'd understand." He said filling his plate.

"I planned to stay a little while longer, just to make sure you were okay."

They enjoyed a few hours together, talking, sitting on the couch. Before he knew it, it was mid day and he knew she was going to be leaving soon.

"Thank you, Joss. I never would have made it without…..a friend to talk to." There were tears in her eyes and he reached out to touch her hand.

"I'll be here. If you need me."

She got up and though he knew she had to leave, he didn't want her to go. Not yet. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he couldn't put it into words.

When had he become such a coward?

Carter was very aware of his eyes on her. He watched as she gathered her things, putting on her shoes and coat. Watching her get dressed was one of the things he always did. All she would do is put one leg after the other in her work pants, but he seemed to find it fascinating. It was so intimate the way he would study her movements in silent observation, how she combed her hair, even brushed her teeth sometimes.

It was just one of the unspoken things they had shared. It made it feel like old times again.

Now she had to leave. He walked her over to the front door and she opened it.

Just say goodbye and walk out the door, she told herself, but she looked at him almost as if she was waiting for him to say something.

Of course he won't, she thought but he pulled her into his arms suddenly, holding her so tightly against him. She hugged him back burying her face in chest, inhaling his scent, letting her hands move over his back one more time.

She raised her head up and his cheek brushed against hers. She felt his stubble scratch her face, his fingers in the back of her neck, everything was all so familiar. So were his lips as they pressed onto hers. Softly, tenderly, so delicately claiming her mouth and momentarily she was lost in it.

She was lost in the feel of him, the taste of him, the feeling that crept into her bones and seemed to move through her pores. It was his touch, the way he knew just where to kiss, what felt good and what turned her on. His tongue felt so good against hers, yes she was lost.

It was easy, it was familiar, all she had to do was put her arms around his neck and it would be like coming home, but she couldn't do it. She forced herself to pull away.

"I have to go."

"Joss, wait."

"I can't. You take care, John."

Reese returned to the library that very evening. He was greeted by Bear who obviously missed him and he spent a fair amount of time petting him and tossing the ball back and forth to him before presenting him with his treat; a doggy Danish.

Finch looked at him curiously noting the change in him, but he didn't ask him what had happened to cause it.

"It's good to have you back, Mr. Reese." Was all he said regarding his seclusion over the last two and a half days. "Time to get back to work."

They discussed their new number and over the next few days, things returned to normal. He felt the blood pumping in his veins again, he felt his sense of purpose return to him and he started thinking about the things he wanted.

He knew he wanted Carter back in his life. He realized he wanted her now more than anything. But he listened to her talk to Thompson over dinner about the trip they were about to go on next week and he knew he was running out of time.

Thompson had been incredibly patient but he was ready to take the next step in their relationship. He couldn't let it happen. He wouldn't.

He knew he should stop following her and stop listening to her conversations, but it had become almost habit now and he couldn't seem to help it.

He heard the sadness in her voice as she talked to her mother one night about a house she'd found. She thought it was perfect for her and Taylor, good neighborhood, a spacious back yard and the mortgage would have been perfect. But someone else had bought it out from underneath her and she was back to square one.

Taylor had been excited about it too and she didn't look forward to telling him the bad news. He wished he was there to comfort her then, be a shoulder for her to cry on if she wanted. But suddenly he had a better idea.

He dialed Finch's number.

"Yes, Mr. Reese?"

"Finch, I need a favour."