A/N: First of all, I just wanted to point out something from the previous chapter. A couple people called me out on Ellie's comment about Marlene being the only person she considered as family. Yes, I'm aware Marlene actually wasn't all that involved in Ellie's upbringing. I read the prequel comics that enforce that. That was actually the point, but I guess it was too subtle. Ellie said that in an attempt to hurt Joel, just like his "you're right, you're not my daughter... and I sure as hell ain't your dad" line was intended to hurt her. I hope that's a bit more clear now.

Before reading this chapter, I just wanted to take a second to remind everyone: this is not, nor will it ever be, a JoelxEllie fanfic. Any talk of love is merely of the father-daughter variety. I'm kinda bummed I have to make this disclaimer, but that's the world we live in, I suppose.

You guys have been overwhelming in your response to this fanfic. Reading the words of your reviews really helps affirm what I'm doing, and I owe a lot to all of you in that you've kept me writing this. Seeing such a positive response has definitely influenced my continuation of this fanfic as well as finally given me the assurance about writing a book. I hope you'll all read it whenever I finish it (hoping to have it done in the summer.)

Anywho, thanks again for taking time out of your busy schedules to read this! I've come up with some interesting ideas to wrap this story up, and it might actually go longer than the 15 chapters I intended. We'll see.

DISCLAIMER/LEGAL MUMBO-JUMBO: I do not own The Last of Us, it is Naughty Dog's property.

CHAPTER 12

MEND

Ellie watched out the window as Joel spoke with Tommy. She couldn't make out the words from their lips, but the general tone of their conversation was easy enough to decipher. Tommy put a reassuring hand on Joel's shoulder. Joel nodded. He mounted up on his horse, said something to Tommy, and began to trot down the path to the front entrance of the ranch. She kept her eyes on him until he disappeared into the forest.

Everything had changed. Now that she had the full picture, the full truth, she was overwhelmed with confliction. Intended or not, the Fireflies were going to kill her. The fires of Ellie's anger met the deluge of doubt that the truth had unleashed. She wanted so badly to be angry at Joel, to hate him, not only for lying, but for robbing her of the choice of what her life could have meant. But the truth washed over her, driving back the conflagration, insisting that, at the least, Joel's actions were explicable, and at best, defendable.

It was hard not to empathize with him in light of all he had lost, but she refused to let herself be complicit with his decision. She was supposed to be the goddamn cure for mankind, after all. His own words, do you even realize what your life means, betrayed his actions. Or did they? Joel's intent when he said that to her meant one thing then, but what would it mean now? Obviously, to him, her life meant more than anything else.

She found herself pacing back and forth in Danni's room, muttering under her breath. Snippets of angry words trickled out of her lips, followed by sighs of frustration upon reminding herself of his motivation. She realized that coming to terms with Joel's lies and the truth would take more time than she had here in the ranch house, and after a few more minutes she scuffled her way downstairs.

Tommy was waiting vigilantly on the porch, constantly scanning the treeline while clutching his rifle. He and Joel were indeed cut from the same cloth, although Tommy's appeared to be of a slightly softer weave.

"You ready?" he asked simply.

"As I'll ever be," she replied.

Tommy walked over, put his foot in a stirrup, and pulled himself onto the horse. He extended a hand down to help her up. She took it and made herself as comfortable as she could behind him. He gently tapped the sides of the horse with his heels and they began walking down the path back toward home.

Ellie maintained a level of stubborn silence that was only interrupted by the rustle of the late morning breeze in the trees or the trickle of a nearby stream as they rode. Her mind raced, grappling with the concepts of truth and anger. One moment, her mind was made up, resolving to stay angry at Joel, and the next she relented, subconsciously wanting to forgive him. She grew frustrated, and finally took a break to look at the facts. The only reason she was still alive right now, breathing in the fresh mountain air on a gorgeous morning, was because of what Joel did. In that moment, being alive seemed far more preferable than the alternative.

Tommy's voice startled her as she had practically forgotten she was holding on to him. "So… I take it Joel told you the truth about Salt Lake City?"

It took her a moment to realize he couldn't see her nod. "Yeah," she said, and then paused in a moment of realization. "How long have you known?"

She felt him sigh through his denim jacket. "Couple days after the two of you arrived. You remember when Maria took you on that walk and I took Joel on the morning rounds? He told me then."

"And what was your reaction to it?"

"Disbelief," said Tommy, steering with the reins to avoid a fallen boulder. "Anger, at first."

"You too?"

"Mmm-hmm. Things got… got pretty heated between us. He even threw a punch, and, fool that I am sometimes, I caught it."

This detail didn't help calm Ellie's simmering indignation. "That son of a bitch," she muttered.

"Hey, watch your mouth, that's my mother you're talkin' about," he replied. She hadn't intended for him to hear what she had said.

"Sorry. What'd you say? That provoked him into punching you, I mean."

Tommy stared into the woods, replaying the conversation in his head. "I believe I was about to remind him that he wasn't your father. He didn't take too kindly to that."

This reinforced Ellie's theory that she meant more to Joel than anything that was left in the world. Simply pointing out that she wasn't Joel's biological daughter was enough to lure a swing out of him. She found this troubling, yet comforting at the same time.

"So… you said 'anger, at first.' What about now?" she asked.

"Well," he began, "I… I understand. I can understand why he did what he did. That don't necessarily make it right, but I understand."

"Yeah…"

"Joel lost the most precious thing in the world to him. I wish you could have known Sarah. She was a sweetheart. You would have loved her." Ellie's eyes felt the bite of gathering tears. "Joel wasn't about to let the world do that to him again. I can't sit here and honestly say I wouldn't have done the same damn thing. He loves you, Ellie."

Hearing those words struck her like a slap in the face. Joel was never one to get overly affectionate or very open with his emotions. He hadn't come out and frankly told her what she meant to him. He was the type who let his actions speak louder than his words. But to hear Tommy affirm something that she had been suspicious of hit her deep.

"What?"

"He loves you. I wouldn't expect him to come out and say it, but he does. He wouldn't have gone to such lengths to save you otherwise." She blinked and stared into the dirty blue denim wall before her. "He was willin' to damn the world to save you."

She understood Tommy's sentiment, but the whole 'damning the world' thing didn't make her feel any better. "Great… so he damned the world because of me. Fucking great."

Tommy turned back to look at her. "Ellie, don't blame yourself. His actions were his and his alone. He was given a choice," he said. He stared silently ahead for awhile before continuing. "Kill the one you love to save a multitude of people, or kill a multitude of people to save the one you love. I know we'd all like to think we'd be noble and that when it came down to it, we'd do the 'right thing,' but… I'm not so sure I would have if I were in his shoes. Hard to tell what the 'right thing' is anymore anyway."

Ellie tried to take a step back and look at the big picture. Joel had brought her across the country, fought with her, protected her, to fulfill a mission. When he learned that that mission would take her life, he found the cost was too high and took on a new mission: to keep her alive. He had killed hundreds, maybe thousands of men, or what used to be men. He lied to her about the Fireflies. But after looking at the 'what,' she dug into the 'why.' Joel said she might understand someday. Well, that day had to be today.

Tommy's words resonated in her mind. He loves you, Ellie. She felt Joel's protective embrace when he found her in the restaurant at lakeside. She felt his gentle hands as he tended her wounds in the aftermath. She felt him cradling her after her nightmares, felt the deep reverberations against her ear on his chest as he sang to her. She felt every time that he went out of his way to show concern for her, to make sure she was alright. She felt every time he had called her 'baby girl.' He loves you, Ellie.

She had a moment of clarity. Joel didn't lie to her in spite of loving her. He lied to her because he loved her. She thought back to all they had been through together, how Joel's demeanor towards her had changed so drastically from when they first met. Her anger was now a smolder rather than a blaze. She couldn't stay mad at Joel, try as she might, given Tommy's revelation.

Ellie spent the rest of the ride in dumbfounded silence, trying to wrap her head around all this new information. Tommy wasn't talkative either, figuring she needed some time to think things through. The woods were peaceful and still as they rode. Ellie began looking about, soaking in her surroundings in an effort to convince herself that being alive and able to see such beauty in spite of everything was better than sacrificing herself for a chance at saving whatever was left of mankind.

They crested the ridge overlooking Jackson, the same ridge where that fateful conversation had taken place. Tommy pulled on the reins to stop the horse and took a moment to look over the town. This was one of his favorite viewpoints over Jackson. It made everything look almost normal.

"Well… you good?" he asked.

She sighed and nodded. "I'm good."

"Look, Ellie… it took me a long time to… to forgive Joel... for what he did, but…" he stared into the distance, searching for the words. "Well… I hope you can find it within you to do the same someday."

Her eyes drifted over the town, finally settling on their house. Their home. "I think I can."

"Good. Let's get into town."

She turned the handle and slowly pushed the door open. It groaned on its hinges as it swung away from her and revealed the living room. Joel was sitting on the couch, leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, wringing his hands together with a look of pensive concern on his face. The sound and movement snapped his attention to the door.

"Ellie…"

She offered a weak smile and said softly, "Hey."

"Come here, come here. Sit down," he said, standing up and offering her his seat on the couch. She took it, and he knelt before her. He gazed into her eyes for what would have been an uncomfortable amount of time for some other people, but Ellie didn't protest, simply returning his gaze. "Ellie… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I had no right to make that choice for you, and I'm sorry. I couldn't lo-" he stopped and ran a hand over his grey-flecked beard and tried to regain some composure. "I couldn't lose you."

"Joel, it's okay. I understand."

Hope beamed from his eyes as he looked back up at her. "You do?"

"I think so. Just…" she hesitated. "Just promise me one thing."

"Anything."

"Don't ever lie to me again. Please. No matter how much the truth hurts, the lie hurts more."

Joel blushed behind his beard. "I know. I'm sorry. I was afraid you… afraid you might leave me. I don't know how I could-" his words failed again, and this time he had to rise to his feet and walk over to the window.

Ellie stood and walked over to him. She stood facing his back for a moment, watching him stare out the window and take deep, even breaths. She approached and wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. His attempts to keep it together failed in that moment and he turned to face her. She saw the tears welling up in his eyes as he pulled her in to return the embrace. They each knew that words were meaningless in this moment, and they simply remained silent. They stayed there in front of the window, locked in an embrace, for a long time.

"Can you," Joel started, "... forgive me?"

Ellie smiled. "I think so, in time."

At that moment, the light in the kitchen began to flicker and went out. Joel noticed and went to check the bulb. The filament still seemed to be intact.

"Huh…" Joel remarked. He tried the light in the living room with no success. "Looks like the electricity is out. C'mon, let's go find Tommy. I bet one of those turbines in the dam went south again."

The two of them walked together to find Tommy. Maria informed them that he wasn't at their house, to which Ellie replied he must have swung by the stables to drop off the horse. Maria joined them as they headed to the stables. They met him halfway there as he was heading back to their house.

"Tommy, electricity's out again," Maria said.

"Yeah, that's what I heard. C'mon, let's get to the dam."

The four of them headed back to the stables, stopping to pick up a couple rifles from the gunsmith along the way. The gunsmith was a woman named Lakyn, a name which Ellie found quite peculiar. She was probably in her late thirties with sharp blue eyes, black hair, and an indecipherable expression. She would probably make one hell of a poker player, by Joel's reckoning. Tommy said she was the finest gunsmith he'd ever seen. She used to be in the military, but went MIA after witnessing them mowing down unarmed populations trying to get into the quarantine zones. She had probably been dishonorably discharged, but she didn't care. She had been a sharpshooter for the military and always took the best care of her weapons. They didn't have many tools for her to build guns with, but she had enough to keep the guns they had in good working order, and she had a knack for making even old, used weapons feel factory fresh.

"Lakyn, we need at least two rifles. Scoped, if you got 'em," Tommy said.

Without a word, she went into the back room and returned a moment later with two Browning bolt-action hunting rifles, each with a scope. She handed them over to Tommy. "You need a marksman to come along?" she asked quietly.

Tommy hesitated. "Actually, it wouldn't hurt." She hurried about, closing up shop, before grabbing a menacing looking black rifle adorned with a huge scope from the back. "Let's go," Tommy instructed.

They all headed to the stables. Ellie felt a sneaking sense of apprehension creeping in. She shouldered her hunting rifle and mounted up on a horse.

"Joel," she said softly, turning to him.

"Yeah?"

"I've got a strangely bad feeling about this…"

He nodded. "Me too. Stay sharp."

They rode off through the front gate toward the dam.

AFTERMATH: PART II CONTINUES

WITH CHAPTER 13