A/N: Updates are going to be not so frequent, and I apologize. I have a lot going on, and my real world life has to come first sometimes. :(
Less than an hour later, I'm sitting on the train with Natalie, nursing a cup of tea. I take a small sip and wince as the liquid burns my tongue. The two tributes are sitting in the big armchairs across from us. Mandy looks uncomfortable. Her spine is completely off the chair and her hands are folded in her lap with her gaze cast down to her feet. Julian, on the other hand, is way too relaxed. He's leaning all the way back on his chair and I can tell he's over confident. He thinks he could do this. I can't help but lack his faith. I'm so pessimistic about all of this.
Finally, Natalie breaks the uncomfortable silence. "So, I'm Natalie and this is Finnick. We're gonna be your mentors for the next couple weeks."
"We know that already." Julian rolls his eyes. Natalie shoots me a look of slight confusion and Mandy raises an eyebrow, the corners of her lips hinting upwards.
"You can drop the attitude. I'm sure you feel the need to compensate for something, but right now we're your best chance of survival. It wouldn't kill you to show us a bit of respect." I hiss at him, sounding much meaner than I'd like to. "Now let's try that again."
"There's two parts to your training: physical and interview styles. We can help a little with both, but we're mostly here to help you with your strategy, and if you want to make alliances; stuff like that." Natalie continues, as if she never stopped talking. "Do you wanna tell us a little about yourselves?"
Mandy volunteers to go first. "Well, I'm fifteen. I'll be sixteen a few weeks. Hopefully, that is." She looks down for a second, and I can tell she's terrified. I don't blame her in the slightest. "I'm pretty good with a knife, and I got the whole survival skills thing down. Uh, I'm an only child and my parents both work in town."
"Thanks Mandy." Natalie smiles, but it never reaches her eyes. "Julian?"
"I'm eighteen. I volunteered for that kid cause he looked weak and shit. I catch fish a lot, so I'm good at using a spear. I can run for a while and I know how to start a fire, for the most part. I'm the oldest of six kids, my mom's a nurse."
"That's really good, you guys. You're at an advantage from being from Four, so the odds are already in your favor, a little bit." I smile. "Do you wanna look at your competition?"
We move into the car at the back of the train, and I flip on the recaps of the reapings. It's hard to tell from a few seconds on the television, but it looks like their only real competition is a boy from 7 (and Johanna looks upset to see him reaped, I'll have to ask her about that), and the tributes from 1 & 2. The boy looks my age, and it's weird to see that he's almost young for a volunteer. Everyone seems so young, especially now. Julian's two and a half years older than me, but he looks so young and naive in comparison. He hasn't seen what I've seen or done what I've done or killed like I've killed. In a sick way, I almost want them to die in the arena. It's better than trying to live outside of it, and definitely a lot easier. I need some air.
I stand up and walk out, saying nothing. The three of them look up, but thankfully, they don't try to stop me. I call the only person who I can think would know how I'm feeling. Jo. I use the phone in the bar car to dial her mobile phone (I still don't get why she needs one, but whatever), and smile when she picks up after the second ring. "Hey, Finnick. How's it going?"
"I'm... alright. I just can't do this, Jo. It's too much. They're too good. I can't watch them die." I sigh, running a hand through my mussed-up hair. I groan inwardly, seeing as I'll have to style it for when I get off the train later.
"You do realize you don't have a choice, right?"
"Thanks for the empathy. I'm not stupid. I just wish it didn't have to be this way."
"How are your tributes this year?"
"Well we have a volunteer and a Career, so that's pretty good. I think I could actually bring one of them home. How about you?"
"The girl? No way. She's hopeless. And the boy, he's not meant to make it out." If it wasn't Johanna Mason I was on the phone with, I would swear I heard her voice crack a little at the end.
"What do you mean by that?"
"He's kind of my boyfriend."
"Boyfriend? You have a boyfriend?" I ask, a tinge of jealousy in my voice.
"Kind of. We were a thing for a while before the games, and I broke up with him the time he saw me before I got on the train. I guess he assumed that we were still together, and during the Top 8 Interviews, they spoke with him, and he introduced himself as my boyfriend. When Snow came to visit-"
"What? President Snow visited you?" I cut her off.
"Shh. Let me finish. Anyways, he wanted me to increase the number of... visits I have, and I said no-fucking-way, and he seemed oddly fine about it. He must assume that he could be killed off to punish me. And I guess he's right."
"I'm so sorry, Johanna."
"Me too. Hey, I gotta go, but I'll see you tomorrow morning."
I barely get out a "Bye, Jo" before she hangs up.
Dinner is awkward. I feel uncomfortable sipping wine in a pair of sweatpants that cost more than a week's salary back home, eating copious amounts of food while Mandy and Julian just pick at theirs. Natalie tries to get them to eat, but Ariel won't shut up about the newest fashion trends and this new escort named Effie who got stuck with District Twelve. Doesn't she realize that we're not even listening to her? I excuse myself to watch television straight after my plate is empty. I don't even realize that I've nodded off until I hear a tentative knock on my door. It's Mandy.
"Sorry, did I wake you up?" She asks shyly. "I couldn't sleep."
"Nah, I was up." I lie, smiling a little. I realize she looks uncomfortable and slightly flushed, and I remember that I took my shirt off. I motion one second to her, and throw on a tee shirt. "What's up?"
"I'm really scared, Finnick. I mean, I'm in a better position than a lot of the other kids, but still, that doesn't mean anything. As long as there's one person who can outrun me, outlive me, I'm dead."
"Don't say that. Just don't, okay? You can't think like that. If you go in there expecting to die, you're not even giving yourself a chance." I try to reassure her, but I can tell I'm not helping. Besides, it seems so hypocritical coming out of my mouth. How am I gonna save her or Julian if I can't even realistically save myself?
"You've been best friends with Annie Cresta for like forever, right?" She asks me. I nod, and she smiles a little. "She visited me after my parents and a couple of my friends. We've never been that close, but she sits next to me in my History class this year. I guess we're maybe sorta friends? I don't really know. But anyways, she said that I'll be okay, and that she'll see me soon, and that the two of you are really close, and that she knows that you'll take good care of me. Or something. I- I don't know what to do."
"Hey," I smile sadly. "It's gonna be fine. I'll try my hardest to bring you back, but I can only do that if you try your hardest to stay alive. Go to bed, alright? Tomorrow's gonna be a long day for you." I'm caught off guard when Mandy hugs me tightly, but I reciprocate, patting her back awkwardly. She's only a year younger than me, but it feels so weird, like I'm a lot older. These past two years have aged me way too much. This is supposed to be my 'good years'. Yeah, right. I drift off to low mumble of some television program, and my thoughts wandering. I can't get too attached. At least one of them is gonna be dead in a week or two.
A/N: Hey, sorry that this is so short. I'm gonna try my hardest to update weekly from now on. :)
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