Chapter 1
The Child that Didn't Exist

It was fluttering away now...

Akito was 29 years old now. Almost 30. She felt older than that. Much older. She felt older than Ren, her own mother. She could hardly lift a limb now, let alone walk. Talking was all that she could do, and even that wore her out. All she did was sleep, day in and day out. A worm was more active than she was. She lay on her deathbed now; weak as a limp blade of grass and as pale as a ghost. Hatori was her constant companion, and when Hatori wasn't present, Kureno was there, and sometimes Shigure.

Hatori was there now, doing Akito's daily medical examinations that lasted from 7:30 in the morning to 9:00am. Usually. Sometimes they lasted longer because Akito would put up a struggle. She was getting worse and worse and Hatori knew she was just holding onto life by a thread.

The morning sun would not rise this day. No; it would remain hidden behind grey clouds and cast a bleak and terrible light upon the land. Akito's bedroom was shrouded in a pale and dreary light, which spread hollow shadows across Akito's thin and boney face. He had seen her in worse shape than this before, but she was stronger back then. He could no longer help her now. Now, it was nearing the end.

"Shigure's coming to visit today," stated Hatori as he replaced the IV bag that hung next to Akito's bed. Akito said nothing as Hatori continued on with his work. "You still haven't told him the truth yet, have you?"

Akito made no sound at first. Hatori thought that she wouldn't speak, but she surprised him. "No one knows," she rasped. "Only you, and I… and the other three."

Hatori nodded slightly as he took a seat at her bedside and held her wrist between his left hand and his two fingers on his right hand. Her arm lay limp in his grasp and her eyes stared straight ahead as always. She felt cold to the touch and the room smelt of death. He released her momentarily; she slowly and painfully turned her head to look at him. It was the first eye contact she had made with him in days. He wasn't prepared for her dead eyes to lock hauntingly on his. A shiver crawled up his spine, but he found he couldn't tear his eyes away from hers.

"I'm going to die soon," she whispered in her scratchy, raw voice. "Aren't I?"

Hatori wasn't sure how to respond, other than to answer with the truth. "Yes. It will probably be a matter of days."

A strong wind whistled through the partially opened window, and billowed the curtains out like a swelled stomach. Hatori was taken aback when Akito started to laugh. It was a laugh that sounded like a dry cough and jolted her limp form like a seizure.

"It'll be sooner than that."

Hatori's arms prickled and he hurried to finish the remaining examinations. He hoped Shigure would come soon. She was barely hanging onto the thin thread of the string of life. She had one thing to do before she would let herself die. She knew it as well as he did.

Hatori left the room and entered his new study in the main house, just down the hall from Akito's room. He made note of Akito's declining health and proximity of death. He had only been sitting there for half an hour before Shigure knocked and entered through the front door. A servant greeted him and offered to make him some tea, but he gently declined.

Hatori stood up from his chair and walked out of the study. The front door was straight ahead where the hallway opened up into the living room. Hatori stood outside his study for a moment, watching Shigure as he silently took his shoes off in the entranceway. Hatori come into the hallway from the left and behind him, just down from his study, was Akito's room. Across the hallway from Akito's room, there was a closed door that remained locked in constant silence and darkness. The entire house was filled with darkness, until Shigure flicked on a light switch in the entranceway.

"Why is it always dark in here when I come over?" He attempted to joke, but there was no chuckle to follow.

Hatori didn't laugh either, but when did he ever laugh at Shigure's jokes? Not recently, that was certain.

"Akito wants to see you right away," Hatori said bluntly.

Shigure sighed playfully. "Always skipping with the formalities, aren't we?" Shigure left his shoes in the doorway and stepped in front of Hatori.

"She's in pretty bad shape," explained Hatori as he turned away from Shigure. He started walking the few steps to Akito's room. Shigure followed close on his heel like an obedient puppy dog. Hatori stopped outside Akito's room and looked at Shigure; Shigure peered into the darkness within. "She won't last much longer." Hatori's eyes bore into Shigure's.

"She's dying."

Shigure's face was emotionless as he stared into the room. Hatori closed his eyes painfully as Shigure went softly into Akito's chamber. Hatori remained standing outside with his eyes shut. He didn't know what would happen next. No one in the Sohma family was with child to bring the next "God" figure into the world. The zodiac would become godless for a period of time, and no one knew how long that time would be.

Inside the black room, Shigure sat down in the chair next to the bed where Hatori performed all of Akito's examinations. Akito was sleeping lightly on her back with her head tilted towards him. He studied her sleeping form tenderly. Her hollow cheeks and ghastly white form was frightening… but he saw beyond those suffering qualities. He saw her as the young woman he had fallen in love with years ago. And in her dying form was proof that she was mortal just like everyone else.

He had always loved Akito. Even though he had done foolish, selfish and devious things, he had always loved her like no other.

He gently placed his hand on top her hers that was resting across her stomach over her covers. She was cold and breathing faintly. She was still a child in so many ways. She never had much of a childhood, this he knew. She was born as the Chinese Zodiac's "God Figure" and because she was born as a girl, she was never able to fully live a little girl's life. She was dressed as a boy from the start and everyone was led to believe that she was a boy. No one knew that it was her mother, Ren, who forced this horrible gender-change upon her. Ren manipulated her daughter into believing that since she was born a girl, she would forever be weak. Her precious Juunishi would abandon her upon discovering that their God was nothing more than a pitiful girl, as wretched and insignificant as a bug… one that had to be crushed before it had a chance to spread its wings and fly away.

She had no hope of ever being accepted as a woman.

But then… she was taught to believe that. She didn't know any better. It wasn't her fault.

Shigure sat for a long time at her bedside in deep thought as he watched his beloved Akito sleep innocently. He wished that he could have done so many things in the past… but he was weak too.

Eventually, she began to stir and wake up from her slumber. She didn't open her eyes right away, but her eyelids did flutter a little like the wings of a pale, white dove. He stroked her hand that he was still holding gently with his thumb. This affectionate caress was just enough to open her eyes to the man that sat before her in the dark. He gathered her hand in both of his and pulled it close to his heart. He knew that this would be the last time he saw her alive.

"Hello Akki-chan," he whispered warmly with a smile. It had been a long time since he called her that, and he felt that it would be his last chance to share his affections towards her.

A small grin wavered on her pale lips. "Shigure…" she murmured in a husky voice. "You're just in time."

He bent forward and kissed her softly on her forehead. He could have sworn that he saw her blush a little, but it was too dark to be certain. He leaned back and stared sadly at her.

"What's the weather like outside?" she asked. "I haven't been outdoors in months."

"The sakura blossoms are in full bloom already."

"How quickly time flies when you spend the remainder of your life sleeping the days away…"

Shigure didn't say anything, but nodded sympathetically. She had grown softer with age—at least to him, she had. She had very little strength to fight back to begin with. She pulled his hand down and held it against her breast.

"I never did tell you, did I?" she whispered.

Shigure tilted his head slightly at her question. "Tell me what?"

She smiled shyly. "Remember our first time 14 years ago?"

He nodded with a childish grin on his face. She had only been 15 years old, and him 23, but he had always loved her and he told her that at a very tender young age. He had always stood by it, except for that one time when he was 26…

"I never did tell you…" she said slowly, smiling and suddenly looking like a little girl again, "that you have a daughter."

Nothing had hit him harder than that. He stared, stunned, at her, unable to say anything. He never knew… at such a young age, how could he… do that… to her?

She continued, seeing his astonishment, "I was 16 when I gave birth to her in secret. It was during that five month period that my mother had locked me up in the cat's cage and no one was allowed to see me, except Hatori of course. My mother was so ashamed of me…." She closed her eyes for a minute to regain her strength. "She was four weeks premature… but strong. In all these years she lived with my mother…. I can't say that I was happy to have her living with that Bitch… but I really didn't have anyone to look after her…. I was so young… and already had so much weight on my shoulders… being the 'God' figure and all." She shuddered silently. "I wouldn't… have made a very good… mother… anyway…"

Shigure watched her, unable to speak, as she closed her eyes, about to drift off into sleep again. For 13 years, he had been a father without knowing it….

"Take care… of her… for me…" she murmured.

She fell asleep, never to wake up again. He hadn't noticed that he had been crying until he tried to bury his face in his hands. An emptiness filled his heart, as if something was suddenly ripped from him. His pain was so intense and his sorrow so deep, that he began to weep loudly. He never cried like this. He never let himself go and express himself so openly.

But it didn't matter anymore. She was gone…

He heard a rustle, and it was then that he noticed the shape of a young girl standing silently in the shadows in the corner of the room. She approached him in the dim, cloudy light. Her face was hidden behind long, thick black hair, but he saw her peeking at him through the strands with large grey eyes. She stepped in front of him and timidly placed her small hand on his shoulder in comfort.

Shigure stared at her. "What's… what's your name?"

She blinked, and looked down at her feet timidly. She began to play with her long hair absentmindedly, then suddenly stopped with this look on her face as if she'd been slapped. Shigure's eyes widened at this behavior as she answered in a small, soft voice:

"Akiten…"

The child that didn't exist.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ayame will be coming up soon... so there will be a fun chapter soon! It's not all dark and serious! (How can it be when Shigure's one of the main characters? LOL)

THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEWING!