Two for one!
Serenity couldn't have looked any better to Cassidy when it finally come into view. They wasted no time getting Jayne past the concerned crew members and straight to the infirmary. Simon had heard he was needed and was preparing, but he wasn't prepared for Jayne to be carried into the room looking as bad as he did. Blood was soaked through his shirt and when they laid him on the table his head rolled down as if he really was dead.
That was an impossibility to Simon who had seen Jayne fight, but he checked for a pulse and found a weak response. Cassidy had torn open Jayne's shirt to find and clear the wound as Simon reached for his tools. While his back was turned Mal approached Simon and whispered in his ear, "what can we do?"
Looking him straight in the eye Simon responded the only way he could, "honestly, I think he's lost too much blood, but we have to try" he added with a glace back to Cassidy and Jayne. Louder, he continued, "I am the only one with Jaynes blood type so I'm going to have to ask Zoe and you Cassidy to do the surgery while I guide you through it." He was talking as he began to insert a needle into his own vein and moving to do the same to Jayne. For the moment blood was the key. Jayne would have enjoyed the irony if he could have of Simon and him sharing blood…Mal hoped he would be able to tell him so they could both laugh over it later.
Cassidy didn't care what was needed of her she would offer everything she could if needed. She and Zoe worked tirelessly to remove the bullet from Jaynes chest and stitch up his torn flesh. Hours had past and Simon had offered as much blood as he could spare, but even he didn't know if it would be enough. Cassidy cleaned up, glanced at Jayne and walked out of the room into the crowded walkway where people bombarded her with questions. She answered them all with, "where's Evan?"
Inara responded, "Kaylee took Evan to her room to play since she didn't think he needed to see this." She wanted to ask so much more of Cassidy but couldn't as she just saw her nod and walk past them all. Inara looked at the rest of the crew and knew that they were all praying in their own way that Jayne would make it out alright, even though only the preacher was obvious with his bible. While it may not always seem like the case, they all cared deeply about the lug and his crude ways…that and Inara feared that Cassidy wouldn't survive his loss.
Cassidy didn't remember the walk to Kaylee's room, nothing mattered until she felt Evan launch himself at her and squeeze the breath out of her. Here was one part of her heart that she got back and she was beyond thankful for that at least.
"Evan, are you ok? Did they do anything to you?" She feared the answer but needed one all the same.
"No mama, Nora said to hide in the room when they came over. She said they would forget I was there." Cassidy smiled at the effort Nora put into keeping Evan safe, she could never repay her. "Why are you sad?" He asked full of seriousness as he clumsily wiped at the tears on her cheek.
Until that moment Cassidy hadn't realized she was crying, could tears be for happiness and sadness at the same time? Could the heart rejoice and mourn simultaneously? "I'm not sad Evan, I'm happy you're back with me and safe."
"Daddy came didn't he?" he asked expectantly. All she could manage was a small smile and a nod before she hugged him to her to confirm that he was truly finally with her.
Kaylee felt like she was intruding but couldn't help it. She had tears in her own eyes at the sight before her and as badly as she wanted to know how Jayne was she didn't want to force Cassidy into answering her questions at the moment. Instead, she silently made her way into the hall to offer some sort of privacy to the reunited pair.
River was waiting for her, "he looks like Jayne doesn't he?"
Surprised, Kaylee considered it, "I guess he kinda does."
"Jayne's dying" she said matter-of-factly. Kaylee lifted her hand to her mouth to try and cover her gasp of sadness and she turned to run to the infirmary to see for herself…but River continued as if talking through the door to the woman beyond, "he has been dying inside ever since he left everything behind…in order to forget…but maybe this time he'll actually heal."
Meanwhile, in Kaylee's room Cassidy was trying to explain why Evan couldn't see Daddy now like he wanted, "he needs his rest Evan."
"I won't wake him up, I promise! Its been forever." Cassidy saw the pleading in his eyes and couldn't deny him, he was right, it was forever since they were together.
Holding her hand out to her little boy she gave in, "okay, lets go see your dad." It felt weird and right at the same time to hear Evan refer to them as his mother and father. It linked them in a way that they never really embraced before, he was their link to each other, could it hold?
Walking down the hallway she ran into some of the crew. Inara smiled her sad smile at her and knelt to introduce herself to Evan who referred to her as the pretty lady. Book quietly asked if Evan should see Jayne like that and she replied that she wouldn't stop him from seeing his father, who, she reminded everyone, wasn't dead yet. The rest of the crew cleared the way for her to enter the room unhindered with Evan who watched everyone with a silent curiosity but who still wouldn't loosen the death grip he had on her hand.
Until, the second Evan saw Jayne and he ran to the bed. Completely forgetting his promise, like Cassidy expected he might, he yelled, "Daddy!" Cassidy wished, but knew it was too soon to see any response from Jayne and saw Evan turn to her, "Mama, why doesn't he wake up?"
Patiently Cassidy replied, "like I said Evan, he's very tired." She watched as her brothers son played with one of Jaynes large hands with his own tiny ones. Evan would never remember Bryant when he grew older, he was too young when he died. His mother, Bryant's wife Natalie, had died in childbirth but Cassidy had plenty of good stories to tell him about her as well. What she didn't want to do, could never do, was tell Evan stories about Jayne. She was holding too many memories as it was. Bryant gave the only thing he had left in the world, Evan, to Cassidy under the protection of Jayne because he knew that was the best thing for the boy. Bryant had never expected that she would need to do it alone and she didn't want to.
When Simon entered the room to check on his patient Cassidy informed Evan that it was time to sleep, to which he quickly responded that he wanted to sleep with Daddy. In the middle of Cassidy vehemently shaking her head Simon interrupted, "I can bring in a cot for him."
Cassidy relented because she herself didn't want to leave Jayne and before she could answer in the affirmative she already saw Mal carrying one in, "didn't think you'd be sleeping in your room tonight" he offered as an explanation and she gave her thanks.
As she put Evan to sleep she blocked his vision of Jayne so Simon could check the wound. Being the young boy he was Evan wasn't very tired, or so he said, but with everything that had happened the excitement proved too much for him and after a few stories from Cassidy he fell asleep. Cassidy brought a chair over to the side of Jaynes bed where she could reach both him and Evan if needed and spent a moment looking back and forth between the two of them. She never thought they would be together again…of course the circumstances could be better but she had hope.
Much like Evan had done earlier, Cassidy reached over for Jayne's hand that even dwarfed her own and clung to it. She marveled at the hand that had done so much for her. Taught her to throw a knife when she was almost too young, danced with her, led her through a field after their son…fought for her…fought for Evan.
"Jayne, I don't know if you can hear me…but I have something to tell you," she was past keeping things to herself, she could no longer protect herself from Jayne. "I love you…I know I should have thrown caution to the wind and told you long ago…but fear used to control so much of my actions…not any more. It was you that reminded me of my strength, that that's one thing that can't be stolen from me. Jayne you have to wake up so I can thank you…" she moved her other hand up to caress his cheek.
"I know that I shouldn't try to hold on to someone like you. Like Bryant, you love to chase adventures, but I just need you to know that you own my heart through all of them. You and this little boy over here who wants you to wake up just as bad." She looked at the face that had never looked so pale and faltered for a second, "everyone here wants you to pull through Jayne…please don't leave us."
It was the beginning of the vigil over Jayne Cobb.