CHAPTER 7.
Though John's best intentions, Lestrade's secret didin't remain secret for a long time. Sherlock is a genius detective after all, and the very second he sees his brother (who comes to visit and ask Sherlock for help with government-involved case once again) he knows everything. His facial expression is just the same as John imagined it, and he laughs about it for next couple of days, for Sherlock's visible displeasure.
It's early morning when Lestrade calls them saying that another body was found, and John doesn't cancell his shift at surgery, hoping it won't take long, and goes with Sherlock to the crime scene, which is deceased women's flat in the London's outskirts. This time the victim is older, she's 42, but the pattern remains the same, shot to heart and cuts all over tattooed body.
Sherlock deducts that she was a client to Julie's studio as well, and that she was single mother of 12-years-old, running her own art gallery, and also a painter. John says "amazing" like he always do and Sherlock looks like a cat who just get a plate of cream. They still have no idea who the killer is though.
Sherlock makes vicious comments about Lestrade and Mycroft's relationship, resulting in DI threating him to make another drug boost, and then they leave, Sherlock all wraped up in the case and John hoping he will make it to the surgery for at least part of his shift, cause they need money for a rent as they always do.
He takes a cab to St. Barts and fortunatelly arrives at time, his mind still occupied with the case though. He feels sory for all the victims, but the last one being single mother and leaving young girl as an orphan makes him angry and sad at once. He wants with all his heart that Sherlock will solve the case and that heartless murderer will spend rest ofhis life in prison, but at the same time knows it won't bring deceased woman back to life. He checks on patients, but is lost in his thoughts, and can't wait to come home and see his son. So when new cute nurse who just started her job at his surgery asks him if he would like to go for a coffee with her, it catches him off guard. He agrees, she is really pretty after all, and though all his last dates ended up as disasters, he still hopes to meet right woman one day. Hamish needs a female role-model in his life, he thinks. And John himself needs company as well.
They leave St. Barts together, nurse, Kate being her name, tells him that she knows nice cafe nearby, and though his best efforts John realizes he can't concentrate on what she is saying. Kate is what is said to be classical beauty, with long, slightly curly black hair, fair skin and blue eyes, she is also a few inches taller than John, and he briefly wonders what is it that makes him choose taller women all the time, but it doesn't change a thing, no matter how he would like to shag her, he is just bored with her. She chats all the time, not noticing his lack of interest, and John is lost in his mind once again.
He thinks about how brilliant Sherlock was this morning, wraped in his coat, with pale expanse of his neck for everyone to see since he forgot his scarf, and with his eyes sparkling, today more green than blue. He thinks even more how intelligent he is, how he never ceases to surprise him, how interesting is talking to him, how he understands him without words after all these years of friendship – in short, how he is everything Kate is not.
He didn't notice when Kate goes silent. He realizes something's wrong only when she angrily throws money on the table and leaves. And he really doesn't care, he realizes. She was boring anyway.
John decides to go home and take Hamish for a walk. He needs to think, he realizes, all events of the day leaving him wounded up and anxious. He can't stop thinking about Sherlock though, and he doesn't know why, the picture of his infuriating flatmate still behind his eyes.
He comes home, and finds Mrs. Hudson playing with his son, so he thanks her for taking care of him and puts Hamish in his stroller. He tries to convince himself he's not avoiding Sherlock, who apparently disappeared in his bedroom, but he fails, and has to admit, that he hurries so he doesn't meet his friend.
What's happening to him, John has no idea, and he tries not to think about it, but he can't. He vaguealy remembers meeting Mary for the first time and falling in love with her and realizes he felt the same then as he feels now. This thought scares him. Surely he's not in love with Sherlock. He's not gay after all. He had men "crushes" back in uni, and then after he joined army, but it was never anything serious. And he and Sherlock has this unique kind of friendship...
John walks slowly through the alleys of nearby park, pushing Hamish's strolley, and thinks. Thinks about how he loves the sound of Sherlock voice, and how this voice gives him goosebumps, especially when so deep and when the owner of the voice is near and...
Soon John realizes his pants became uncomfortalbly tight and he closes his eyes, panic overcoming him.
Surely he's not having an erection thinking about Sherlock Holmes?
Nevermind what he feels, he realizes, the point is that even if he is in love with his flatmate – which is absurd and he of course very much isn't – said flatmate seems to be asexual, and, if even not, then totally not interested in certain army doctor.
John sits on the bench, Hamish deeply asleep at this point, and tries to be rational. So okay, maybe he is slightly interested - "infatuated", rather, he thinks bitterly – in Sherlock, but obviously he can't act on it, he would surely be rejected. Better if everything stays the way it was, their friendship so precious John wouldn't stand losing it.
A little bit more comfortable now, when it's settled, but still not sure how he will stand seeing Sherlock after what he just discovered, John decides to go home. It's cold, December in whole glory, and it starts snowing, Christmas around the corner.
John comes home, puts Hamish to his bed, little boy asleep whole time, and goes to sleep early.
He's not sure Sherlock even realizes he's at home, lost deep in his experiment (something involving eyeballs once again, John doesn't want to know details), and John is at the same time relieved and disappointed, and not sure what these feelings tells about him.