Rating goes up now, you know what that means.
Kayli: Thanks so much for sticking with me! Glad you enjoyed it.
Queenjane 516: If it's any comfort, the epilogue might develop into a mini-sequel.
Captain-Rogue-River: Unfortunately not much time for father-son moments but later there will be…they have some lost time to make up for.
Badkarma00: I'm so happy to have a new reviewer! Thanks so much for the complements.
Hope this extra long chapter makes up for the delay.
Cassidy stayed by his side for the entire night, once Evan came back to her ready for bed she fell asleep with him and finally got some rest herself.
She slept deep and didn't wake when Kaylee came to get Evan for breakfast. When the crew came to talk to Jayne he shushed them all to let Cassidy rest so when she finally woke up it was to a crowded room full of whispering people.
"He probably didn't go far."
"We can't give him enough time to reassemble, it has to be as soon as possible."
"I can find him tomorrow."
Cassidy recognized her husbands voice, "you're all insane if you're talking about starting anything after all that has happened," Cassidy sat up as she talked hoping, despite just waking up, that she could get her point across.
"We didn't start anything Cass, we're just going to finish it," Jayne responded.
"We aren't going to do anything, we aren't even going to think of doing anything. For Gods sake Jayne you have a hole in your chest!"
"Ah hell I can go after him now."
Her exasperation was clear and Mal figured that getting in the middle of an argument between the two of them wasn't a good idea…but Jayne didn't seem to notice that now wasn't the best time to fight with his wife. Therefore, Mal decided to intervene, "tell them Wash."
Wash was waiting for a time to break the news, "no ones going anywhere any time soon. It seems like our man has some other enemies here in Destiny…enemies in high places, all ships are grounded for at least a week."
"Well what if they get to him before I do!" Jayne was still itching for a fight.
"Good riddance," Cassidy said.
"They won't," Mal said at the very same time, "they don't know where to look." Jayne and Mal shared a glance. "All you have to focus on is getting well so we can go after him." Thank God Mal was for once on her side Cassidy thought…Jayne had some major healing to do whether he wanted to or not.
Cassidy's policy only lasted so long thought since Jayne only stayed in bed the first three days, and by the fifth he was nearly back to normal. Cassidy knew he had to be hiding a lot of pain but she believed Simon when he told her that he was healing remarkably well.
Cassidy spent most of the time trying to avoid him because when she couldn't they argued. Jayne wanted to fight and Cassidy wanted to forget everything and let the authorities handle things…she didn't want Jayne to get more hurt, but of course he didn't see it that way.
On the fifth day it got worse.
"There's no way you're going now Jayne Cobb!"
"Cassidy we're wasting time!"
"Are you that in a hurry to leave me a widow and Evan fatherless?"
"You didn't want to marry me to begin with!"
"Because I never wanted to make you tie your life to this mess of mine!"
"Well you sure were in a hurry to marry someone else."
"You know why!"
"That's no longer a valid reason Cassidy!"
There was the stab in the heart Cassidy knew was coming, "If that's how you feel, then why did you never send for a divorce? I mean you did think I left you after all…"
Quieter, Jayne got to the heart of the matter, "Is that what you want? Is this where we finally succumb and get a divorce to go our separate ways?" He was terrified of her answer. What if she said yes? What if this was it…he didn't think he could deal with her disappearing from his life again. To disrupt any answer she might have given he pulled her to him and shocked her silent with a kiss. His original goal was just to distract her enough to forget an answer, but he became just as distracted the second his lips touched hers. It didn't take long for Cassidy to lose some of her anger and kiss back but her response ate at Jaynes conscience so he pulled back and spoke about what worried him most, "you shouldn't be married to me anyways, you deserve…" he trailed off when she placed a finger on his lips to shush him.
"Don't I have a say in the matter?" Then she saw the guns on the table behind him and she remembered why she was mad at him to begin with, "but it won't really matter if you're so determined to get yourself killed! I already thought you were going to die on me Jayne, I don't want to go through that again…if you leave tonight consider that your divorce."
Jayne was shocked silent and just watched as Cassidy walked out of the room. How could she do that to him? One second she has his pulse racing and the next for a whole different reason. Like hell he was going to let her control his actions like that though! However confused he was over the divorce issue he considered it something to be thought about at a later time, after he made sure a certain someone would never enter their lives again. All his plans went out the window though when he found out how much the rest of the crew agreed with Cassidy, he really didn't have a say in the matter…he couldn't get off the ship.
Cassidy hoped he wouldn't walk out, wouldn't force her hand…she didn't want a divorce but she didn't want him to die either! Pushing the thoughts aside she went looking for her son who was fast becoming the ships mascot. This time he was playing jacks with Kaylee and River but the second she entered the room he ran to her, "Mommy, I'm winning!"
"Is that so?" She asked beyond pleased to see him so safe and happy…almost like he belonged here. Evan didn't waste time on an answer but ran back to see if it was his turn yet.
"They won't let him leave," River announced as Evan bounced his ball used to her statements that he never really understood. Kaylee and Cassidy both turned to her though and Cassidy found a relieved smile, one more day she didn't have to worry about Jayne.
"Thank you."
When River smiled in return Cassidy joined them in their game to forge bonds and forget the complications for a moment. Cassidy was laughing at one of Kaylees stories when Inara walked in. She wanted to know if Evan was interested in visiting her shuttle for the night so he could watch and learn the stars. Of course she made it sound like some type of adventure and Evan was instantly excited. Inara knew that with all that had happened Cassidy and Jayne hadn't had much alone time together and since Jayne was feeling better they might need some so she had come up with a way to occupy Evan for a night to give his parents some privacy. Cassidy didn't immediately know what Inara's motive was but she had no reason to deny Evan the right to see some stars so she gave her consent.
When evening approached Inara sought out Evan and suggested to Cassidy that she go talk to her husband, which Cassidy considered odd since she had decided to do just that.
Jayne had been moved to a room close to the infirmary since Simon said he shouldn't be climbing the stairs to his room just yet. On nights Evan didn't spend watching stars he rotated between sleeping with Jayne and Cassidy which made it a little awkward since Cassidy was, for the time being, sleeping in Jaynes room. The crew had made it childproof and censored which Cassidy assumed was them anticipating the need...not them assuming their relationship had proceeded further than it had.
Cassidy had had time to get over her anger and she began to feel bad about how she had treated Jayne. She went to his room to wait for him and to apologize for how she acted earlier but she had no idea that he would take so long and before she knew it she was fast asleep.
Jayne had spent the day pouring over maps and ideas with Mal and it was Inara who reminded them both how late it was when she said that Evan wanted to say goodnight.
Evan ran and hugged his fathers leg and Jayne wasted no time, he bent down and scooped him up to hold him against his side.
"Daddy when you're better can you play with me?"
Jayne was already feeling guilty for how much of his time was being absorbed…he just got Evan back, he didn't want to lose him again. So he replied, "the second I get the doctors ok we'll play all sorts of ball games."
Evan was pleased with the promise and left with Inara who, with a backwards glance told Jayne he needed a shave. What a time to mention something like that he thought…then he rubbed his chin and realized that she was right…but he still had better things to do. With that, he cleaned up and left to his temporary room to get some undistracted rest.
He found his distraction asleep in his bed. He was still a bit sore with what they had argued about earlier but the sight of her in his bed still took his breath away. His attention was drawn to her pink lips that were slightly parted in her sleep and slowly his gaze drifted down to her chest that was slightly rising and falling. He was snapped out of it when he noticed that her breathing was growing labored and her forehead was creased in worry. It was when she started to thrash that he actively began trying to wake her.
Cassidy woke up to shaking and was terrified and fought Jayne for a second until she recognized him, then she instantly threw herself at him.
"It was just a nightmare Cass," he tried to be reassuring and hoped that it was working.
When she realized that she was clutching around his middle she released him and sat back against his bed, "I know…but they never feel that way." She looked up into his eyes and continued, "I'm sorry for what I said earlier Jayne, I was just so afraid of losing you that the fear was more than I could take."
Relieved that she hadn't meant what she said he smiled and pulled her closer to him, "I'm not going anywhere Cassidy."
Tucking her head under his chin she breathed in his scent, "not if I have anything to do about it."
Jaynes grip suddenly tightened when he remembered when Cassidy tried to shield him from the gun and he grew angry again over her safety. "You were a fool for trying to protect me," he said to the top of her head.
Cassidy smiled and decided to take the jump, "a fool in lo…" she stopped when he quickly jerked her away from him and held her at arms distance.
"Don't say it Cass!" His words contradicted his mind because he desperately wanted to hear her say it but he didn't want her to trap herself either, "Don't say it Cassidy because if you do then I'm gonna kiss you and not let go even thought we both know it shouldn't happen."
Hurt, Cassidy tried to get him to understand how much she needed him, "I know you probably don't want a woman like me, but…"
"Gorram it Cassidy that's crazy talk, I can't remember the last time I wanted a woman as much as I want you. It's you that shouldn't be with me, you should be with a rich, educated man."
"I'm tired of hearing who I should be with…Jayne I wanted you to kiss me forever, you just took that long to get to it."
Jayne had to sit down…he never once considered the fact that she might want to be married to him…that she might want him. It scared and delighted him at the same time and he could say nothing as she turned towards him and continued.
She had just wanted to come to apologize but after his words she found that she wanted so much more, "I feel their touch even now and it haunts me that they still hold that over me," she walked towards him and placed her hands on his shoulders, "I need you to wipe their touch away. I want a new a new memory…a good memory."
Jayne hoped he was hearing her correctly…he couldn't deny her the right to know pleasure and despite all his lingering feelings of unworthiness he could find no other argument…and he didn't want to. Wasting no more time he eased her into sitting sideways on his lap and brought his mouth down on hers.
Lemon from this point on…
This was something Cassidy could get used to, she opened her mouth when she felt Jayne tease with his tongue and melted into him as her tongue began to timidly duel with his. Jayne nudged her leg until she turned to straddle him and he slowly, deliberately moved his hands down from her shoulders, along her sides to her hips. When he pulled back to look at her he grew proud to see that her lips were swollen from his kisses. Then, her light brown eyes captured his own and he lost himself, he pulled her sharply to him right against the evidence of his arousal.
She gasped and, on instinct, backed up a little so she could look down between them at the bulge still hidden by his pants. The feeling of him against her was amazing but she still couldn't completely banish what that stiffness meant.
Jayne didn't like the look that crossed her face, "it isn't hard to hurt you Cass" and he hoped that was reassuring. She knew that in so many ways it could be, but when she looked up into his eyes she remembered that this was the man that she loved, he would no sooner hurt her than chop off his arm. She trusted him with her heart…she could trust him with her body as well. Moving back over him like he positioned her she lowered her complete weight on him and when he shifted slightly to make the contact better she gasped at the sensation.
It was clear that she was having trouble breathing and Jaynes ego swelled. He continued to slightly pull her against him as he moved up against her until she took over the movement for him. He kissed her cheek and moved to her ear where his breath made her tremble and he whispered words she didn't fully understand. He kissed along her neck as he moved his hands to the bottom of his shirt to pull it over his head but Cassidy stopped him.
"Let me." He was driving her crazy and she wanted to do what she could to return the favor. Her hands went under his shirt and moved up the front of his chest brushing over the planes of his chest and pulling up the shirt until she had removed it…then she went for his belt and this time it was Jayne that stopped her.
"Not yet, or this will be over before we get to the good stuff."
He helped Cassidy remove her shirt and cupped her breast in his hand as he moved his kisses to her shoulder and Cassidy gasped at the sensation as he rubbed his thumb over her nipple and gently massaged it. His other hand he reached behind her and worked the bra fastening open. When he pulled it off her he just stared at a woman he should have no right to in a perfect world but who was his wife in this one. She tried to cover herself with her arms but she stopped after seeing the disappointment in his face, he was her husband, he had a right to see her…she shouldn't be embarrassed in front of him so she found courage and lowered her arms and saw him look into her eyes understanding the significant of her trust in him.
Jayne slowly stood easing Cassidy to stand on the floor. He returned to kissing her as his hands moved to her waistband and behind to grab her butt and pull her against him. When their bare chests touched Cassidy threw her arms around her husband and pulled him closer. His hard chest felt sinful against her and she wanted to feel more. She felt his fingers ease into the front of her pants as he moved to remove them and she heard them drop. His touch was teasing as he slipped down her underwear all the while hoping she wouldn't freeze up on him.
In the dim light he took advantage of her openness and studied her. Damn, she was so beautiful, how did he get this lucky? Not wasting a moment for her to get nervous on him he lifted her up and laid her in the middle of the bed and followed her down. He had purposely left his pants on, he didn't want to go too fast for her but he didn't know how long he could last with the feel of her under him.
It was when he turned to kiss her that he noticed something was wrong, her eyes were closed and her jaw clenched. Jayne eased off of her a little and moved to her side.
Worried that she had done something wrong Cassidy asked, "why did you stop?"
"Do you trust me?"
"With all my heart," she honestly answered.
Jayne had figured it out in his head even though Cassidy might not have. He had never been with a virgin before and while Cassidy wasn't one technically she was emotionally and he had acted too domineering so he moved slower and said, "tell me if I go too far." He moved to kiss her and was proud that she answered fervently. Then he moved down kissing along her neck and moved down to her breasts where he gently squeezed one while moving his mouth down on the other. Cassidy shifted and gasped at the sensations he was causing. When he started to suckle she made nail marks on his shoulders to hold him against her. Jayne moved to her other breast and caused the same reaction but at the same time he moved his hand down the flat of her stomach and noticed that her legs were tightly closed, "tell me no Cass."
His whisper against her nipple caused a pleasant shiver to run through her and she marveled at the absurdity of his request, "I can't…please kiss me again."
Moving back up Jayne did as requested. His kiss was fierce and demanded a response she was very eager to give but was too short-lived. Jayne pulled away and explained, "I need to do more than kiss Cass. Tell me no now or I won't be able to stop." Then he proved his point by moving against her hip proving how much he needed to do more.
Cassidy loved him even more for how much she knew he was doing for her and holding back. She hadn't realized how much she was still closing off to him so she slowly opened her legs while looking straight into her husbands eyes and moved her legs to either side of him as her answer.
Jayne moaned and kissed her deeply as he moved his hand between them to cup her sex. She gasped and pulled away from the kiss as she pushed against his hand with her hips wanting something more that she didn't understand. Jayne did, he slipped a finger into her and moved his thumb over her bundle of nerves and Cassidy arched her back unable to stop her movements. She didn't know what Jayne was doing to her but it felt too good to care, something was building in her and she just wanted to reach it. Then she felt his mouth against her and his tongue replaced his finger and she was lost. His stubble was acting on a whole other level of stimulus and she was glad he hadn't shaved. It didn't take long until Cassidy reached down to hold his head against her as a wave of intense pleasure washed over her…and kept washing over her.
Her trembling both satisfied and aroused Jayne, he needed to be inside her. He quickly removed his pants and boxers and when he looked at Cassidy he noticed her studying him and a new concerned look crossed her features. That was exactly what he didn't want to give her time for. Of course she ruined his presumptions when she lowered her hand to grasp him. Jayne lowered his head with a grunt against her shoulder as she studied the part of him in her hand. He thought he might die, but he would give her time to grow acquainted with him.
Cassidy had seen a mans penis before, but…Jayne had to know that he was huge and…well she wasn't. She slid her hand from base to tip and said what she thought was obvious, "I don't think it will fit."
Jayne was too concentrated on controlling his breathing to make much of a logical argument so he just said, "It will fit."
"It won't hurt?"
Exasperated, Jayne asked a question in response, "Did what I just do to you hurt?" He found it beautiful that she blushed like she had a reason to be embarrassed. She wanted him, she was just confused about the signs that showed it. The sensations were so new to her, she was just beginning to understand how someone could become lost in this.
Not waiting for an answer Jayne kissed her and moved his hands down to her knees that he pulled up on either side of him which pushed his sex right against her and Cassidy lifted her hips and ground against him. She felt the warm feeling in the pit of her stomach grow again and wanted more.
Jayne could hear his blood pounding in his ears, he couldn't wait any longer. He pulled back and aligned himself. Just as he was about to enter her he paused and looked into her eyes, "your mine Cass, now and forever."
Touched beyond belief Cassidy raised her hands to hold his face between them, "I have always been yours Jayne…always."
His kiss was brutal and controlling, he was losing himself and Cassidy was being swept up in it. As his tongue entered her mouth he surged into her and swallowed the gasp she made. Jayne felt it all the same and tensed, "God Cass did I hurt you?" He was past the point of being able to stop but needed to know.
Cassidy felt full and complete—it was an incredibly wonderful feeling and she lifted her hips to rotate against his own to experiment and caused whole new bursts of pleasure. "God Jayne don't stop now," she breathed.
He took that as a no and could have cheered. His wife was so tight he knew he wouldn't last long, she gripped him as he withdrew halfway and when he pushed back into her she met him halfway and wrapped her legs around his waist to allow him better access.
As Jayne thrust into her, Cassidy looked down between them. For the first time she was fascinated at the process and watched as he repeatedly disappeared into her. It was incredibly erotic and when she pulled Jayne down for another kiss she felt like she was burning up.
Her whimpers were driving him crazy and he found himself struggling to hold back.
Cassidy didn't know what she was asking but she needed him to let go, "faster Jayne." He heard and answered, but still he hesitated…until he heard her demand, "harder, I'm not going to break!" That was all he needed. Moving almost out of her he slammed back in to the hilt and Cassidy moaned at the feeling. He thrust into her over and over and felt her tightening against him as he felt his own end approach.
"Look at me Cass," he ordered. Her eyes were shut from the feelings but she opened her eyes and looked Jayne in the eye. He held her gaze wanting, needing to see her overcome and needing her to see who it was causing her to feel this way.
Cassidy was being swallowed up and had to tell him, "I love you Jayne."
Hearing what he wanted to hear so badly completed Jayne. He thrust hard and Cassidy threw her head back arching against him and screamed out his name. Jayne joined her at the same moment, answering with yell of his own. He made a few smaller thrusts prolonging their orgasm as she milked his seed from him and then collapsed against her.
He moved to the side to not crush her but Cassidy rolled with him because she didn't want to break their intimate connection just yet. Jayne had never lost himself like that…it was scary how far his wife pulled him from his usual comfort zone but he found he didn't care—he had pleasured his wife and was plenty satisfied himself, what more was there?
Jaynes bubble was burst when he saw her tears, instantly concerned, "you said I didn't hurt you."
"You didn't."
He didn't understand so asked, "then why are you crying?"
After a moments hesitation Cassidy answered. "You should have been my first Jayne. They didn't have the right, it should have been you."
For once, Jayne was quick to understand and he pulled her flush against him, "Cassidy what we just had you've had with no one else so I was your first…right?" He left off the part that he had never experienced anything that powerful either which, with that logic, made it his first as well.
She nodded, happy beyond words, "and the last, Jayne."
"Past, present and future huh?"
she answered with a kiss.
Sounds like the end…really isn't.