A/N: Let me warn you that you're going to get a small glimpse into Scorpius's darker side in this chapter. Even if it hasn't surfaced much before, it is there. Also, you get to see a bit of how different characters deal with their darker emotions; namely anger and guilt.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All recognizable characters, ideas, events, places, etc. belong to JK Rowling. I also do not own One Direction, I just quoted a line from one of their songs.
….
Rose didn't know what had changed but suddenly she felt happy that the Ministry had chosen Scorpius to be with her. What had happened the other night? Did he somehow convince her that he truly loved her?
All she knew was that something significant had happened because something deep inside of her had changed. There was nobody she wanted to discuss this with, either. Because that would mean admitting that she'd gotten piss drunk. Quite frankly she was ashamed of that fact. Not because she was against drinking, but because of her reasons for it. To forget.
Ironic now that she had wanted to forget and couldn't remember anything that had taken place. Louis and Albus were always there for her and they wouldn't think badly of her for it, but she just couldn't bring herself to tell them.
A light tapping sound brought her out of her thoughts. There was an owl at the window that belonged to Scorpius. With a sigh she let it in, took the note meant for her, and shooed it back out the way it had come.
Rose,
Would it be alright if I called on you this afternoon? Perhaps around two o'clock?
Scorpius
A derisive snort escaped her. He wanted to call on her? Why did it sound so formal? In an endearing way she almost found it cute. Still smirking she turned the piece of parchment over, scribbled her answer, and sent it off with one of Al's owls.
What she really needed to do was bake. Quick as she could, she was in the kitchen with an apron on. With a sharp flick of her wand the radio began blaring whatever CD she'd been listening to last. When her hair refused to stay out of her face she twisted it up into a bun and used a handy little spell to hold it in place. For good measure she stuck her wand threw the red mop. At least then it should be out of the way of any stray ingredients.
The last time she'd baked, it had ended up covered in sugar and multi-coloured candy sprinkles. Baking was the best way she could think of to keep her mind off of any disturbing or confusing thoughts. Like Scorpius.
She'd left his mansion the day before in a hurry and didn't look back. Now he was writing letters to her in such a formal manner that she almost felt uncomfortable. Don't think about him, she scolded herself and continued with her distractions.
...
Scorpius knew he should be furious. To an extent, he definitely was. For example, the next time he saw Austin Longbottom he was fairly certain that he was going to punch him right on the nose. Strangely he wasn't mad at Rose.
At first he'd tried to justify her actions by reminding himself that she'd been drunk when she kissed Austin. Deep down he knew that wasn't an excuse. With all he was learning about his betrothed, one important thing that he'd almost forgotten was that she was terrified of the unknown and also of any deep feelings.
It made sense then, that she'd considered Longbottom. He was safe to her. They'd known each other since they were children. Not only was he a safe option, but she also didn't have any feelings for him other than friendship. That's what Al had told him, anyway.
Because Scorpius had told Albus about the entire ordeal. Leaving out the bit where Rose got upset because he had chosen her. The two of them had spent the entire previous evening discussing Rose's drunken decisions and they'd reached the same conclusion.
What mattered wasn't that Rose had kissed another bloke. It was that she kissed another bloke, turned him away, and came to Scorpius. Thus he felt rather happy at the moment. The witch he loved had, in some weird, twisted, and drunken way, chosen him.
Too bad she didn't remember that.
Her reply to his note had been a hastily scribbled 'yes.' He still had an hour before he had to be at her place, and there was someone he needed to see. With a dark grin he Apparated to London.
"Scorpius?" she was sitting in the back corner of the cafe and he weaved through the tables to her.
"Melanie," it had been a bit of trouble finding out who Longbottom was engaged to, but well worth the gold he'd paid for the information. Melanie Pole had been one of Rose's roommates at Hogwarts and if his informant was to be trusted, Melanie had been Rose's best girl friend for years. Although since then they had some sort of falling out.
Having been close to the Weasleys would have made her close to the Potters and Longbottoms as well, thus she had been Austin Longbottom's second choice. "When I received your letter I had half a mind to not show up. I don't think we've ever actually spoken to each other before. But curiosity got the best of me in the end," she shrugged.
"I know something that might be of interest to you," he said without preamble.
"I gathered as much from your rather cryptic letter. Care to tell me what it is?"
"The ministry has seen fit to pair you with Austin Longbottom, yes?" he waved away the muggle waitress who had come to take his order.
"Yes," she smiled faintly, "we dated for a bit at Hogwarts during my fifth year when he was a seventh year so it's not too awkward. We're just getting to know each other again."
"You sound rather happy about that," Scorpius's eyes were dark as he spoke. A side of him that normally remained dormant had come to the surface.
"I am," she purred, "he told me about how the Ministry let the purebloods request who they wanted to marry and how he put my name down."
"Interesting," Scorpius mused. The waitress reappeared and raised her eyebrows, as if demanding that Scorpius order something. "Coffee," he said quickly, "black. Make it to-go."
"He's alright, isn't he? Austin? You're asking a lot about him."
Scorpius smiled in a way that showed all of his teeth. It was quite a threatening smile, "I'm sure Longbottom is in perfect health," he rather sounded like he wished to change that.
"Then what's going on, Malfoy? I'm tired of you beating around the bush," Melanie snapped.
Scorpius took the styrofoam cup of coffee from the waitress, gave her some muggle money that was more than enough to pay for it and said casually, "You weren't his first choice."
"Excuse me?" Melanie bristled.
"Longbottom chose you second."
Melanie Pole looked completely shocked. "How dare you! How dare you come in here and spout such lies!"
"Oh, I'm not lying," he sipped at his coffee, "would you like to know who his first choice was?" Melanie said nothing. "Rose Weasley."
"That bitch!" Melanie slammed her fist onto the table.
"I would greatly appreciate it if you would refrain from insulting my fiance as she had nothing to do with Longbottom lying to you."
"How do you know this, Malfoy? Why should I believe you?" her eyes were shooting daggers at him from across the table.
"Two nights ago my fiance went to the Leaky Cauldron. When she was quite intoxicated, Austin offered to take her home. Along the way he decided to kiss her and offer to take her back to his place for the night."
All of the colour drained from Melanie's face. "He wouldn't do that..." even as the words spilled out of her mouth memories came rushing back to her, "two nights ago," she mused aloud, "I went to the Leaky Cauldron while he was at work. I saw Rose there, but she didn't see me. We tend to...avoid each other. I pulled Austin aside and asked if he wanted to come to my place after work. He turned me down and said he was rather tired and just wanted to go back to his flat and sleep."
Scorpius had known this already. The only thing she said that interested him was the fact that she and Rose avoided each other. What was that about? Hadn't they been friends at one point? "I'm sorry," he said although he didn't sound sorry at all.
She got to her feet and snatched up her purse. "I'm going down there right now and giving him a piece of my mind! I'm going to curse his arse until he's a mutilated puddle of goo!" she growled.
Still grinning like the devil Scorpius said happily, "Excellent plan."
Without saying another word to him, she swept from the cafe. He leaned back in the chair taking another swallow of coffee. If he had been a Gryffindor he probably would have gone directly to the Leaky Cauldron himself and beat the shit out of Longbottom. But he was a Slytherin and Slytherin's didn't play fair. They played dirty. They didn't get revenge on people who wronged them, they destroyed them.
Feeling smug with himself, he extracted his pocket watch and glanced at the time. He had just enough time to finish his drink before going to see Rose.
...
Two o'clock sharp he was at her door. There was loud, and rather obnoxious, noise coming from the other side of the door. He knocked hard. Several times. Eventually he came to the conclusion that she simply couldn't hear it. Tentatively, he turned the doorknob and inched the door open. "Rose?" he called.
Her voice reached his ears, but she wasn't speaking, she was singing. Not wanting to embarrass her, he almost retreated, then he thought better of that idea and let himself into the flat. Thankfully whatever Merlin-awful music she had playing was one of the CD's he'd made a copy of and listened to at his home. He knew the words to this one.
When he rounded the corner into the kitchen his casual face turned into a devilish grin. The beautiful witch was facing away from him, dancing in a rather provocative manner, with her arms above her head, sliding down, running the length of her own body, shimmying and moving in ways that should be illegal.
Not wanting to disturb her, but knowing that he needed to get her attention, he reached out a hand to grab hold of hers and spun her around to face him. Frankly, he didn't know how to dance in any way except formal ballroom dancing. So that was what he did now.
It was strange, he thought, that this type of sweeping dancing went with the music, but somehow his quick-paced waltz/tango improvisation did. Their bodies weren't touching aside from the hand he had on her waist, the hand she had on his shoulder, and their intwined hands. With a spin, he joined in with her singing.
"If you don't wanna take it slow, and you just wanna take me home, baby say yeah yeah yeah..."
Her wide blue eyes registered surprise as he pulled her hard against him and sang firmly, "...and let me kiss you."
Their twirls and dips moved them quickly out of the kitchen and into the sitting room. Being unfamiliar with the flat worked in Scorpius's favor. Right when he was about to spin her around again, the back of his knees hit the arm of the sofa and he toppled over it, with Rose still held tightly in his grip.
They landed softly onto the cushions, Rose on top of Scorpius, her legs tangled with his. Their noses were brushing and she was panting slightly from the physical exertion of so much dancing. He gazed up into her eyes, silently asking for her permission.
To his shock, it was granted. No words were spoken between them. Instead of answering his unspoken question, she dipped her head down to taste his lips. Something she had never felt or experienced before had hold of her.
With a start she realized that this emotion had a name. Desire. Her hands tangled into his blonde hair, running it through her fingers, as her lips continued to move against his in the most delicious way. Her heart sped up and her legs slid, as if they knew instinctively what to do, around his body.
Scorpius obliged to her body language, sliding himself up the couch so his length was stretched across it and they were snogging more comfortably. This side of Rose was new to him but he had always suspected it was there, just beneath the surface. This burning fiery passion.
Delicate hands tugged impatiently at his plain white t-shirt and he sat up, pulling it up and over his head, tossing it the ground. Rose moaned as she ran her hands up and down his chest. There was a light patch of blonde hair in the center, and the muscles rippled beneath her fingertips.
Her lips skimmed across his collarbone and his strong arms tightened around her. A voice in the back of her mind was telling her not to push this too far. Keep it from reaching the point of no return. But sod that damn voice, she wanted this.
His fingers fumbled with her wand that held her hair in place with it's spell, tugging it free so her long hair cascaded down over her shoulders. A slight thrill of fear ran through her at the idea of someone else having hold of her wand, but it went as quickly as it had come. Because it was Scorpius who had hold of it. He wouldn't use it against her.
As if in stride with her thoughts, he let it drop to the floor with a soft clatter and continued running his hands up and down her sides. Taking the next step, Rose sat up so she was straddling him in a rather intimate way, and pulled her own shirt off, throwing it to the floor.
Scorpius barely had time to think, 'Thank Merlin she's wearing a skirt,' before she laid herself on top of him again, pressing her nearly naked upper body against his with need. That was when she came to her senses; Rose didn't need this. She was in control of her own body, her own feelings, her own sex drive.
Abruptly she sat up, "What am I doing?" the question was asked aloud.
"Snogging me," said Scorpius innocently, "and doing a rather magnificent job of it."
His eyes flicked down to her breasts for just a moment then back up to her face, his eyes now openly displaying his wanton lust and appreciation. In a startlingly fast move, she was off of him and pulling her shirt on.
"Leave," she snapped.
"What?" Scorpius sat up and scratched his head, completely dumbfounded. For one wonderful moment he'd allowed himself to hope that perhaps she was ready to lose her virginity to him. His hardened length was aching in his trousers, and she was telling him to leave?
"Get out," she said this firmly.
"Rose, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen," he quickly backtracked, knowing that when a witch was angry, you had better damn well apologize and fast.
"I know, I know," she ran a hand over her forehead, "it's not you, it's-"
"What?" he mocked, "going to say 'it's not you, it's me'?" her face flushed and he knew he'd been correct. "What does that even mean, Rose? You just took control, practically molested me on your sofa, not that I mind, and now you're angry with me?"
Rose straightened at his words. She'd never seen this side of him before. This angry and assertive side. Although she wasn't about to admit it, she liked this side of him. "No, I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with myself, and if you don't mind, I'd like you to leave so I can give myself a good scolding!"
It sounded mad, but it was the truth. The moment he was out the door she would berate herself for what she had initiated. "Do you regret it?" His voice was calm again.
"No. Yes. I don't know."
"I sure as hell don't. Matter of fact I think we should do that again," he boldly reached a hand out to tug at the hem of her shirt.
Her hand smacked his away, "If you try, I'll break your fingers! I really need you to leave right fucking now, Malfoy!"
With one last angry glare, Scorpius threw his hands up in surrender, "Bloody fine! But just so you know, I sincerely wanted to spend time with you today. I didn't come over here for...for that," he motioned vaguely to the sofa and then he was gone.
One careful step at a time she backed herself against the wall and slid down it, drawing her knees into her chest and barely restraining the tears that threatened to fall. It truly wasn't his fault. He'd done nothing wrong. Oppositely, he did something amazingly right.
Rose was mad at herself for what had happened, not him. How could she be cross with him for anything? He was so sweet and considerate and caring. Perhaps, as Albus had assumed, she was starting to fancy him. Just a little. Her body obviously fancied him quite a lot.
Even now her entire frame was vibrating with excitement, aching to be touched in ways she had never been touched before. She wasn't comfortable with those desires so, again, she found herself taking her emotions out on Scorpius.
With an enraged snarl she vowed to herself that she would never let that happen again. She would never take things out on Scorpius. Maybe it would help if she was a sane human being and instead of reacting violently all of the time she actually talked about what was bothering her?
She debated on going to find Albus and Louis. They were always willing to listen to any crazy thoughts that entered her brain. They were her best mates and she trusted them. But no, they weren't the people she desperately needed to speak to.
As she thought of them now, she remembered Louis's advice for helping her deal with her past. Yes, home was the place she needed to be. That was where she found herself. Her parents lived in Godric's Hollow, just a few streets away from the Potters.
The place was so familiar and comforting to her. Godric's Hollow would always be home. The sun was high in the sky at the moment and memories flooded her mind; summer days spent with her cousins riding bicycles and playing catch with Quaffles and laying on the grass looking for shapes in the clouds and so much more.
"Daddy?" when she entered through the side door of the house, she found her father sitting at the kitchen table going over paperwork for the joke shop.
"Hullo, Sweetheart," said Ronald Weasley as he pushed the parchments aside and stood to hug her. "What brings you here? I can tell there's something on your mind."
"I was just stopping by to say..." she gulped, "that I love you," he heard the words despite the fact that they were whispered.
His eyes widened. He hadn't heard Rose say those words to him in a very long time. It was a rare occasion for her to feel the need to say them. Of course, he always knew she felt it, but it was wonderful to hear it.
"I love you, too, Rosie," he hugged her again, tighter this time, trying to express in that one embrace how much her words meant to him.
"Where's Mum?"
"Sitting room."
Rose nodded, the look on her face stoic, as she marched through the house to her mother. Hermione Weasley was on the sofa with such a random assortment of items scattered around that at first Rose didn't know what on earth she was doing.
Then she noticed the vase in her mother's hands. Hermione plucked up a couple of roses from the coffee table, put them into the vase, then poured in a small bag of marbles. "What are you doing?" even though she knew, the question escaped her anyway.
"Making the center pieces for your wedding reception."
That was her breaking point. Rose threw an absolute fit. She snatched the vase from her mother's hands and smashed it against the wall. "I don't like them!" she shouted, "I hate roses! I hate the colour yellow!" each statement was punctuated with her stomping on something, throwing something, or tearing something apart with her hands.
"Rose!" Hermione exclaimed in shock, but she wasn't done yet. Screaming incoherently now, Rose trashed every wedding item in the room. She shredded the invitations, threw bags of marbles out the window, set fire to the large collection of roses, and when everything was destroyed, she stood in the center of the room breathing heavily.
Very deliberately she extracted her wand from her cloak and gave it a wave. Every bit of debris vanished. The room was spotlessly clean and everything Hermione had been working on was gone.
"I apologize for the manner in which I handled myself just now. However, I think it's best if I take over the decorations and plans for my own wedding." Rose sat down on the sofa, motioned for her mother to leave, and pulled a sheet of parchment toward herself.
On the very top she began writing the names of flowers; Lily of the Valley, Ivy, Snap Dragons... Hermione stood, moved to the doorway where her husband was just coming around the corner to see what all of the commotion was about, and said, "Finally."
"What?" Ron asked in bewilderment.
"Don't you see it?" Hermione was positively beaming, "Rose actually cares about this wedding now. She wants to do everything herself. Make her own plans."
"So does that mean she fancies Malfoy now?" Ron looked disgusted at the thought.
"I believe that it does."
Their conversation had been whispered so Rose couldn't hear them. Now she looked up and said, "Mum, I am grateful for all of the effort you put in and I'm sorry I ruined your hard work."
"It's no problem, dear, you do what you want. It's your wedding."
"Thanks. Oh, and Mum? I love you."
...
Leila Scamander walked alongside Fred Weasley down the main street in Hogsmeade toward the Hogsmeade branch of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, which Fred managed.
"Lovely Leila," said Fred, "as much as I enjoy making small talk with you, I can tell something is on your mind. What brings you here?"
She fidgeted with her engagement ring on her finger, feeling like it weighed a hundred pounds. "Did you give Heather her ring?"
"Yes, I did. She loved it, of course. Rose has magnificent taste."
"And did you tell her that you chose her?"
"Yes," Fred replied honestly.
"How did she take it?"
"Quite well. She was flattered, of course, but Heather and I aren't in love. I also told her that she was my second choice and not my first. I think it's best to start relationships with honesty, don't you?"
"Bloody hell, I bet she didn't like hearing that!"
Fred gave a jerk of his head, "I don't think she cared really. I'm sure I wouldn't have been her first choice, either. That doesn't bother me. We've been friends for years and we're both committed to making a marriage work, even if we never really fall in love with each other we still make each other happy."
"I know what you're thinking," Leila accused.
"Pray tell, master Legilimens," he teased, "what is on my mind at this very moment?"
"You're thinking that I'm a silly little coward for not telling James yet. But it's so different, Freddy. James and I are in love. I'm not comfortable with keeping secrets from him, but I'm afraid he'll be upset if I tell him."
"Why would he be upset?"
"He had no say whatsoever. He had no control over this. When I first received the letter saying I was supposed to request three blokes to marry, I almost asked James his permission for putting his name down first, but I was too embarrassed to admit that he was my first choice. You know, at the time I didn't think he liked me as anything more than a mate."
"If he's mad at anyone, Le, it will be the Ministry. Not you. I am under the impression that he would be happy to learn that you chose him."
"It's only one week until the wedding," was she trying to change the subject?
"I'm aware," he deadpanned.
"I think I'll tell him that night."
"Before or after shagging him senseless?" Fred teased.
Leila giggled, "I haven't decided yet. See, if I tell him before then he won't be angry for very long because he'll be so desperate to get into bed with me. But if I wait until after then he will be so satisfied he won't get very worked up about it."
"Blimey, you really have thought this all through, haven't you?"
"It's been on my mind a lot."
"There you two are!" James came out of Three Broomsticks with a bottle of butterbeer in hand, waving at his two best friends.
Both Leila and Fred flushed guiltily and James quirked an eyebrow at them. "Hullo, love," Leila skipped up to him and gave him a quick peck on the lips.
"Everything alright?" he looked from her to Fred and back again.
"Just peachy, mate," Fred replied.
Not entirely convinced, James shrugged, "Come on in here, I was just discussing with Rosmerta the idea of having her bartend at our reception."
"What about the Longbottoms?"
"They're close family friends. I don't want them working at my reception! I just want them dancing and enjoying themselves with everyone else!"
Feeling simultaneously proud and guilty at her fiance's kindness, Leila gave him a half-hearted smile and let him pull her into the pub.
...
"Can I ask you something without insulting you?" James asked as he and Leila made dinner together that night.
"It depends. If you ask what my weight is, I'll curse you where you stand."
He chuckled weakly, "Nothing like that."
"What's wrong, James?"
"It's just that I noticed you and Fred together in Hogsmeade today. You looked awfully chummy."
Leila smirked at him, "Are you jealous, Darling?"
"I might be," he mused airily, "but seriously, Le. I know that we didn't exactly choose our situation. Do you and Fred - I mean is there anything going on - would you rather be with him?" The words were wrenched from him with trepidation.
Her eyes widened in surprise, "James Sirius Potter," she breathed, "how could you even think such a thing? There is nothing going on between Fred and I. I promise. We've always been close friends and we happened to be discussing Heather, if you must know."
"Ah, I'm an idiot," James cringed.
"Yes, you are," Leila agreed and hugged him tightly. With her face buried in his chest, she allowed her features to twist into one of fear and guilt.
...
Scorpius wandered around muggle London for a long time, unsure of where to go. All he wanted was to make her happy, was that so much to ask? Apparently it was. With a curse he kicked at a brick wall beside him.
Not wanting to think about Rose, his mind landed instead on the topic of his grandparents. Their words still circled around in his head, tempting him like his own personal demon. Of course power had a certain allure to him. Of course he wanted it.
Rose, the object of his love and affection, was unresponsive to all of his pursuits thus far. Well, maybe not entirely as she had responded quite enthusiastically not long ago. But that wasn't enough. One time she allowed herself to feel what she was feeling. It was a baby step if anything.
Wanting power was like alcoholism, he knew, as he'd watched it's effects on his grandfather. The more you had the more you wanted. Like a drug. You would become dependent on it; lost without it.
Using his marriage with Rose as a step up a social ladder felt wrong and dirty, but was it? Or was he, as he grandfather had asserted, too weak to seize such an opportunity?
Being a Malfoy gave him a taste of power, but it hadn't come as naturally to him as it seemed to come to his relatives. It had been an acquired taste. He was used to people listening to him and wanting to please him. How much more would that influence stretch when he was a member of both the Malfoy family and the Weasley family?
As his thoughts went again to Rose and how frustrated he was with her, and to his grandparents and how reasonable they'd sounded, and to his own heart, asking what he truly wanted, he made his decision.
...
Rose stayed at her parent's house for the rest of the day and for dinner as well. Family dinners was something she hadn't realized how much she missed. They had a small square dining table at which she was seated across from Hugo.
Under the table, she kicked at his shins and he stuck his tongue out at her. "Kids," said Ron out of habit. Hugo and Rose giggled at each other and continued eating. "This is really good, Hermione," her husband complimented.
"Thanks, Ron," she beamed across the table at him, "It's a new recipe Angelina gave me the other day."
The family ate in silence for a while and then, "This is nice," Rose said quietly. Everyone looked up at her in confusion. "I was just thinking how it will never be like this again. Just the four of us. In two weeks I'll be married to Scorpius and it will just be different."
"He's welcome to eat here whenever he wants," said Hermione while Ron scowled.
"I know," she sighed and threw her napkin onto her empty plate. "May I be excused?"
"Yes," said Hermione, although she sounded concerned, "Did you get a lot of things done for the wedding?"
Rose blushed, "Yes, actually I did. That was why I wanted to be excused. There are a few arrangements I wanted to discuss with Scorpius."
"Oh," Hermione tried to hide her surprise, "Well go ahead, then. We love you, Sweetheart."
Rose went to each of her family members in turn, hugged them, said that she loved them, too, and left. The Patronus soared away from her in the night and she hoped Scorpius would respond to it. She'd been awfully cold to him earlier and knew she didn't deserve a response from him.
When she reached her flat, however, it was to find Scorpius waiting outside her door for her, looking apprehensive. "Hi," she said quietly.
"Hullo," his reply was cold.
"I'm sorry," she said at once. Then she took hold of the front of his robes and stretched up to kiss him lightly on the lips. "I would very much appreciate it if you came inside with me. There are some things I wanted to discuss with you."
"What sort of things?"
She swallowed, "I think that it's about time I told you why I've been pushing you away when you've been nothing but kind to me."
"Alright," he consented, "lead the way."
...
Once they were both seated comfortably on the sofa, with two hot cups of tea in front of them, Scorpius decided to break the ice. "I've decided that I'm not going to start Auror training next month."
"What? Why not?" Whatever she'd been thinking of left her mind quickly.
"To be an Auror, you're given a lot of freedom, and a lot of power. I've recently come to the realization that I can't be trusted with power. I spent the afternoon speaking to a lot of different people in a lot of different positions, trying to figure out what job is the most humbling. I've decided I want to work in Muggle Relations, for your grandfather."
"What do you mean you can't be trusted with power?"
"It's too tempting for me. The day you were at my Manor, when you met my grandparents, they talked with me after you left. They told me that I could use my connections to you and your family to rise quickly through the Ministry. Even though I considered it, I know I couldn't use you and your family that way. It would be wrong. I love you more than I want power."
"Scorpius..."
"I know, you don't want me saying that I love you. But just because I don't say it doesn't make it less true."
Very deliberately, Rose leaned toward him and pressed her lips against his. Every time they did this she felt something inside of her tingling with anticipation. Before it could go any further, she pulled away. "It still makes me uncomfortable when you say it," she agreed, "but I'm not going to ask you to hide your feelings again. That wasn't right of me to ask of you and I'm sorry."
He eyed her curiously, "Apology accepted. Why the change of heart?"
"It's a long story."
"I have all night."
"I wasn't always this way. So distant and unfeeling. My first year at Hogwarts I was put into Gryffindor with four other girls; Helen, Becca, Wendy, and Melanie. We were really close for about five years, but I was closest to Melanie. The five of us would stay up late almost every night and talk about things girls normally talk about. Boys, make-up, clothes, boys, school, boys," she gave a soft laugh.
"What changed?" Scorpius encouraged.
"Everything. In fourth year I had my first kiss. Ethan Bones."
"The Ravenclaw Prefect in our year?"
"Yes, that's the one. Anyway, we started dating. I didn't tell anyone for a long time because I was so nervous that all of my cousins would become too overbearing and scare him away. I'd seen that happen to Roxie and Dominique both when they had their first boyfriends. To this day Albus even thinks that I was only with Ethan for a month, but we were actually together for a year."
"Did you two ever...?"
"Shag? No, we didn't. Which brings me to the next part of the story. Because I never told anyone about us, not even my best friends, Becca didn't know we were together. Apparently she fancied him. They started seeing each other secretly without me knowing about it."
"That bastard!"
"He's a bloke," said Rose tonelessly, "he wasn't getting what he wanted from me, so he got it from somewhere else. The reason Becca never told us about him is because she was ashamed. I guess he told her flat-out that he wanted nothing more from her than sex and she had agreed to it. How could she tell her best friends that she was shagging a guy she fancied even though he wouldn't date her?"
"Not all guys are like that, Rose."
"I know, but let me finish my story. I finally got up the courage to tell Melanie about Ethan and I. Mostly because she was my closest girl friend and as we aren't related, I thought she would be the most encouraging about my relationship. As it turns out, before I told her that Ethan and I were dating, she'd stumbled upon Becca and Ethan shagging in our dorm room and Becca had confessed their affair to Melanie as well."
"How did you take the news?" Scorpius asked.
"She didn't tell me," Rose looked down at the carpet now, unable to look Scorpius in the eye. "Instead she acted casually disconnected from the situation. I thought she would squeal with delight and we would gossip and jump around like girls do and talk about him, but she just shrugged and said that if I was happy with him then I should tell everyone and not hide our relationship."
"Ouch," he winced.
"Tell me about it. Talk about betrayal. That's not the last of it, though. Melanie also suspected that she knew the true reason why I was keeping my relationship with Ethan a secret. It was because I fancied myself in love with someone else."
"Who?"
"Austin Longbottom," Rose flushed shyly, "I'd fancied him for years. I didn't want him to know I was taken. So after talking to Melanie, I decided to announce to everyone my secret relationship. It was fifth year. In the Gryffindor common room, as most of Gryffindor was comprised of my family anyway, I just sort of...shouted it. I remember noticing that Becca looked horrified, but I thought that was because she was mad at me for keeping a secret from her."
"Did she fess up?"
"No, she continued sleeping with him behind my back for another month. Then she came clean and told me. Just the two of us were alone in our dorm when she made her confession. She said that she and Ethan had been shagging for months and that he decided he would rather be with her than me. She said she was sorry, hadn't intended for it to happen, didn't know that he and I were dating, but she loved him and wanted him and that was that."
"No! What a slag," Scorpius found himself becoming furious at these girls.
"I was devastated. Ethan broke up with me the next day, and I went crying to Melanie who then confessed that she'd known about it all along. We were talking quietly in a corner of the common room and when I angrily demanded why she hadn't told me sooner, she yelled loud enough for everyone to hear, 'I didn't tell you that Becca was shagging your boyfriend because I didn't think you would care. It's not like you actually fancy the bloke, Rose, we all know you're in love with Austin!'"
"Are all of your friends bitches?" Scorpius inquired with an attempt to sound casual.
Ignoring the interruption, Rose snuck a quick glance at his face and said, "Austin was in the common room, too, of course, and hadn't missed what Melanie had screamed. So when I ran out of the common room, he ran after me. He told me that he hadn't known how I felt. He said that he thought of me like a little sister and that he loved me, but not in the way I claimed to love him. Then he told me that he'd been dating Melanie for several months. So not only did Melanie start dating a bloke she knew I was in love with, she also kept it a secret, and didn't tell me when she discovered that Becca was shagging my boyfriend."
"That's a really messed up situation, Rose, I'm having a bit of a hard time keeping track of all of the betrayals by this point."
"I did, too. I couldn't stand to look at either of them. I went to Helen, who was my next-closest friend in my dorm. She turned me away and said that I was the one who was in the wrong. She said that it was my fault for dating Ethan and keeping it a secret. I felt so bad that I almost believed her. Almost. I started to feel unnecessarily guilty and ashamed. Like I had brought all of this unhappiness on myself. Wendy came to me, then, and said that she was on my side. She said that Melanie was a whore, Becca was a bitch, and Helen had always been spiteful. Yet Wendy didn't want to be my friend anymore, either, because she was too afraid of getting on the wrong side of the other girls," Rose snorted, "Some Gryffindor, huh?"
"Rose, Honey, I'm so sorry, but that was a long time ago. Shouldn't you be over it all by now?"
She shook her head back and forth vehemently, "That wasn't the end of it, though. After that, every chance they got they would say mean things to me. They spread rumors about me. They turned on me like they hated my guts. The worst part, I think, was that nobody saw how much pain I was in. Not Albus or Louis, or my parents or Hugo, nobody. They saw that I had changed. But that was all. They didn't know why or how, nor did they ask about it. They ignored it. That was when I stopped telling people I loved them. I had loved Wendy, Helen, Becca, and Melanie. I loved my cousins, my parents, my brother. But did they really love me if they didn't care enough to inquire about my well-being?"
"You thought they didn't love you?"
"How could I be sure anymore? I had been sure that my friends had loved me. I'd been sure that Ethan loved me. I'd been so wrong. But then you," This time when her eyes met his, they locked and held each other's gazes. "We'd only been together for a short amount of time, and you saw me. You knew me. I felt like you could see into my very soul in a way that nobody else could. You could tell when I was pushing you away, you could tell when I was upset, and you cared enough to ask about it. You cared enough to try to get me to work through it."
"Didn't anyone else?" Scorpius's heart hurt for the witch beside him.
"Louis graduated that year and left. Albus was a fifteen year old bloke, he didn't notice emotions at all. They just asked me about it a few days ago and we talked about everything. They apologized for being prats and suggested that I try to get over my issues by telling people I love that I love them. So I did, today I went to my family and told them all how much I love them. And Scorpius, I'm sorry, I don't think I'm in love with you yet. I want to be. I hope to be. I'm just not there yet."
"That's okay," Scorpius's hands were shaking when they reached for hers. He was so relieved and so happy that she was finally opening up to him. "I would wait forever for you, Rose, and I'm willing to wait however long it takes for you to love me back. But I do have a question. Longbottom...do you still love him?"
Rose snorted, "No. Absolutely not. I don't think I ever truly did. I just thought I did, you know?"
Scorpius nodded and pulled Rose onto his lap, "I'm not going to betray you. Or leave you. Or hurt you. You're right, Rose, I do see you. I notice everything about you."
"I know," she whispered, "I trust you, Scorpius. Please, prove to me that I'm right to trust you."