Chapter 5

Three days passed and I was moved from the healers' quarters to my own personal chambers, Emma's cradle being placed in there as well at my request. There were no more visits from Loki, though occasionally I thought I caught a glimpse of something in the shadows, only finding later it was a trick of the light. Perhaps it really had been a nightmare. The fact that I hadn't had any dreams since the encounter, however, made me still suspicious.

At first, I did not wander about alone but only when Lydia or even Thor paid me a visit and invited me to join them either for a walk outside or to grab a bite to eat. After walking around the palace with them a few times I began to become a little more adventurous as I began to memorize my way around and felt a little more confident I wouldn't become lost. I learned quickly the architecture was absolutely perfect for soothing Emma whenever she became fussy. The sunlight leaking through the pillars captured her interest the same way the ceiling lights had back home. And I was learning quickly, distractions were sometimes a mother's best friend.

As I began to better understand the ways of Asgard, Frigga began to tell me about their current situation with the bifrost still being rebuilt and how its destruction had lead to chaos in some of the nine realms. Occasionally, when things were truly out of hand, Thor was forced to depart along with his companions to put a stop to whatever conflict had arisen. The process, however involved use of the Tesseract, and I could tell they all seemed to view it as a last resort, though I didn't fully understand what it did.

Thor was gone on one of those missions when I woke, or so Lydia told me as she paid her daily visit to check in. We both knew I was as healed as I was ever going to be, but I knew she was simply trying to make herself a friend so I didn't mind. "It didn't sound like it was anything too serious," she told me while she bounced Emma in her lap as I brushed my hair in front of my vanity. "He'll probably be back by evening and then the celebrating can begin..." She finished that sentence with a knowing smirk and I looked to her.

"Celebrating?"

"Oh yes," she said, looking up at me. "Feasting, drinking, music... there's been times its gone on for days."

"Sounds like college," I chuckled, turning back to the mirror.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing," I answered with a smirk, not really feeling like explaining. Lord knew that was a chapter in my life Emma would not hear about... not at least until she was much much older.

"You should join the celebration," she said, returning her attention to Emma, and I tied my hair back into a ponytail.

"Maybe," I said, turning to the bedside table and picking up a book. "Do you mind watching her for a minute? I just wanted to go to the library real quick."

"Of course! Go ahead." I nodded with a smile and made my way there, wanting to find something new to read. I'd managed to find several books with old tales, both historical and fictitious, and had found they were an great way to better understand my surroundings. As I searched through the many titles, I heard footsteps from behind me, and saw Frigga looking in.

"Hello, Anna. I didn't know you enjoyed reading."

I smiled at her and turned my eyes back to the books. "I don't do it enough anymore," I said. "I usually have my hands full with Emma." She made a small sound of understanding and made her way to the opposite end, scanning through the shelves, clearly already having a book in mind that she wanted. I watched as she read the titles quietly to herself as she searched and then sighed. "That's a shame. I don't see it..."

"Hmmm?" I inquired.

"Oh nothing. Was just looking for- aha!" She reached up and pulled out a book, smiling at the small victory. "That should satisfy him," she said to herself.

"Satisfy who?" I asked. The look on her face told me she hadn't intended to say that out loud, and she smiled and shook her head.

"Someone was looking for this," she said.

"It's Loki, isn't it," I said as more of a statement than a question. She frowned and I shrugged, looking back to the shelf. "Must be nice... having someone still doting on him while he's in prison."

"I can assure you that there's nothing nice about where he is," she said in a tone that told me I'd just crossed a line. I glanced over my shoulder at her and watched as she strode for the exit. "Miss Anna, what my son did to your world was unforgivable... but that doesn't mean I still don't hold out hope for him."

There was a pain in her tone that made me feel bad for speaking out so carelessly, but I still couldn't stop the question that left my mouth. "Why?"

She stopped in the doorway, then glanced over her shoulder at me, her eyes meeting mine. "Because he needs that right now. And because he's my son. As a mother, you of all people should be more understanding." With that she left and I sighed, feeling like an ass.

Glancing back at the shelf I settled on a book documenting some of the history of Jotunheim, and made my way back to Emma and Lydia.

It was early in the evening when word eventually made its way to me that Thor and the warriors had returned victorious, and not long after the smells of the feast being prepared could be smelled from my chambers. Originally, I had simply intended to stay in for the night and read, but when Thor paid me a visit, insisting I participate, I conceded. Hoping the clothing Jane had provided me would do, I picked out the nicest pair of jeans I had and a black blouse, discovering there was also makeup in the bag, a find that really made me happy.

After I felt I was presentable enough, I made my way out, carrying Emma on my hip, and I found my way easily to the banquet hall, using the commotion I could hear as a guide. I was immediately met with a large crowd of strangers, but Thor was fortunately not too far away, and I walked over to him, receiving a welcoming smile as he introduced me properly for the first time to his friends.

"Anna, I would like you to meet my good friends and companions, Lady Sif, Fandral, Hogan, and Volstagg." I smiled and nodded to them and Volstagg was the first to speak, reaching over to pat my shoulder with a smile.

"Glad to see you're finally out and about!" he said, looking over to Emma, amused at how large her eyes grew at the sight of him, no doubt a little intimidated. "And who is this youngster?"

"My daughter Emma," I said, smiling at Emma to try to reassure her as I bounced her on my hip. "Say hi, Emma," I said in a high tone. Her head bobbed a little as she stared at Volstagg, and I realized slowly it was his beard that had her interest.

"Oooh!" she cooed and I laughed as Sif stepped forward to get a better look at her.

"How old?" she asked with a smile.

"Almost two months," I answered.

"Old enough to feast with us then!" joked Volstagg, and Emma broke out into a big toothless smile. I kissed her cheek and followed them to the table to eat, allowing myself to binge for the first time in I couldn't remember how long, listening all the while as they recounted the events of the day, making jokes at each other's expense, and consuming wine by the barrel full. At one point I was so wrapped up, listening to their conversation that I didn't notice Emma's little arm get too close to my own goblet of wine, and when she knocked it off the table with a loud clatter to the floor, Thor reached over, taking hold of her hand and held her arm up, shouting, "ANOTHER!" with a while smile, causing me to laugh.

I ate, drank, and listened to their stories until it grew late, and feeling Emma was starting to grow fussy, I excused myself to my chambers to lay her down. After rocking her for an hour, her sleepy head resting on my shoulder as she breathed heavily, I felt no desire to retire for the evening yet, so instead I placed her in her cradle, and found a servant to keep watch.

Deciding I could do with some time alone, I made my way to the courtyard to watch the night sky. Behind me, I could still hear the sounds of celebrating continue, and part of me wondered if it would really go for days as Lydia said it had the potential to. The thought made my liver hurt, and I strode out into the grass, sitting down and laying back to watch the stars.

A twig snapped.

I jumped upright and looked around. There was no one there, but I kept my eyes on the shadows, not trusting them. In the corner I saw something shift, and I got to my feet.

"Who's there?"

There was no answer, and I stood still, knowing better than to investigate. Another sound got my attention from behind, and I spun around, again finding nothing. Slowly, I began to walk backwards toward the palace, not wanting to turn my back on the courtyard until I was safely inside or at least close enough for someone to hear me scream.

I felt someone breathe against the back of my neck, and I snapped around, only to once again be met with nothing.

I could hear my heart beating in my ears, and I broke into a run, heading strait for the palace. With each step, I could feel whatever it was pursuing me, and I headed for my chambers, my heavy footfalls echoing throughout the halls. I threw the doors open and froze.

Loki stood before me, his back to me, striding towards Emma's cradle.

"Leave her alone!" I shouted, storming my way towards him, only to step right through him and nearly crash into the cradle. I stood for a moment, confused, then turned when I heard the door shut.

"Hello, Anna," Loki said with a grin.

"I knew I wasn't dreaming!" I growled, glad I was at least standing between him and Emma this time.

"I wonder if you do dream," he said, cocking an eyebrow.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"Do you, Anna?" he asked, beginning to pace around my room. "Do the nightmares torment you every night? The memories? Are they so realistic that you could really be persuaded to think that my presence is one of them?" He came to a stop at the vanity and looked down at my makeup, seeming curious about it, and picked up a tube of lipstick. "Or is there nothing?" he mused. I didn't answer him, not in the mood to indulge him, and he glanced over his shoulder towards me.

"This is a lovely shade," he said, nodding to the lipstick. I opened my mouth, but before I could say a word I felt my body being jerked forward by an unseen force, coming to a stop in front of the mirror, and Loki stepped behind me, removing the cap before reaching around to apply it to my lips. I had to admit, I was impressed at how accurately he was able to do that using only the mirror to see what he was doing rather than just simply stepping in front of me. "It's your favorite isn't it," he asked. I didn't answer but continued to simply watch as he colored my lips. "Not too subtle to be missed, but not too dark to look sultry. But most of all, you love the way it makes your eye color, as you would put it, pop."

"How do you know that?" I asked. He smacked his lips, signalling me to do the same, and I obeyed, smacking my own so the color was spread evenly. His reflection was looking over me thoughtfully, and I felt his hands rest themselves on my shoulders.

"It was raining the night you met him, wasn't it," he whispered. A crack of thunder rang out from outside the window, and all at once a downpour hit. I looked to the window, seeing the storm that had come from nowhere, and looked back to Loki's reflection.

"What's happening?"

"Sshh..." he hushed, leaning his mouth near my ear. "Just focus for a moment and tell me about that night..." I didn't know why, but I somehow knew he was not about to harm me, though his sudden wellspring of information still made me uneasy. "Where were you?" There was a familiarity in his voice and for reasons that were beyond me, I indulged him.

"I was with a group of my friends, and we were at the movie theater." The world around me began to shift and change, and soon what was a stone floor turned into a cement sidewalk, walls vanished, the furniture dissolved, and I heard the familiar sounds of traffic and cars parking. I craned my head to the side and saw the theater I hadn't seen in years standing clear as day just a few feet away, and around me I heard the voices of the friends I hadn't spoken to for so long.

"And was he with them?" Loki asked, making me realize he was no longer behind me, though his voice seemed to still come from there.

"No," I answered. "He showed up with one of my friends who was running late."

A car pulled up to the curb and the back doors opened, Loki and a young man stepping out and the driver pulling away to find a parking spot. "He was wearing that sweater you liked so much, wasn't he?" Loki asked as he kept pace with my friend, dressed in the same clothes my husband had worn that night. "Or at least you told him you liked it three dates later."

"I don't remember what movie we were seeing," I continued.

"It was a horror film," he said as I followed him and my friends inside.

"He sat next to me and we were the only ones who didn't fall for any of the jump scares." We were sitting side by side in the theater, Loki with a bucket of popcorn in his lap that he was munching on. He tilted it towards me, offering me some, but I shook my head.

"What happened when the movie ended?" he asked.

"I walked to my car."

Again, the setting changed and I was no longer sitting in a theater but standing in a parking lot, a set of keys in my hand and my old car in front of me. From behind, I again heard Loki's voice in my ear.

"And he stopped you to ask for your number."

I turned around and Loki stood there with an older looking cell phone in his hand, punching away at the number pad. "Where did he take you a week later?"

I was becoming aware of a queasy sensation spreading through my body, but ignored it to think of the answer to his question. "He took me dancing," I answered.

In a twist of colors we were suddenly standing in an elegant ballroom, and I was wearing a beautiful black ballgown. Loki stepped in front of me, wearing the suit he'd worn in the first images I'd seen of him when he'd made his appearance in Stuttgart, and his arm came around my waist, taking my hand with his free one as he began to spin me around the ballroom floor, the other couples a dancing blur of colors around us.

"Was it in a place such as this? You and he dressed in elegance while others watched you both in envy as he showed you off proudly?" He danced me around, my body somehow knowing all the steps but my mind not knowing how that was even possible.

"No," I answered. "It was in a night club."

In a flash comparable to lightning, the ballroom turned into a nightclub, bright colored lights flashing around us and he released me, stepping back dressed now in a long sleeved black shirt with a v-neck, and a pair of jeans with a hole in one of the knees. The familiar tune of "Ka-Boom Ka-Boom," by Marilyn Manson hit my ears as more memories came back.

"It was a gothic nightclub we visited for laughs," I said, turning to one of the mirrors on the back walls and began to dance just as I had that night. "The music was so loud I could hardly hear myself think." Loki's hands came to rest on my hips from behind as he danced with me.

"But that was fine as you had no intentions of conversation that night," he said into my ear as I reached my arms up and around his neck. He lowered his head til his lips hovered over my collar bone as my hips ground against him and his hands began to trace over my ribs. I felt my cheeks grow hot as I watched us in the mirror, and while there was still a small part of me questioning the continuously changing surroundings, I somehow seemed to just go along with it. After all, I had already lived all these moments... Loki filling himself in my husband's place all too perfectly.

"There came a moment when you knew you weren't going home that night," he growled in my ear, and I felt one of his hands come up and grasp my breast. I did nothing to stop him and in the reflection I saw his eyes lock on mine. "In public even? Naughty..."

"I was young and stupid," I answered, hearing the song draw to a close.

I twisted around to face him, and we were suddenly standing in an apartment I hadn't seen in years. The bed was perfectly made, the knick-knacks on his dresser set up just right, and not even a trace of dust could be found anywhere. "You felt uncomfortable when you saw his bedroom," Loki said as he stood behind me, his hands grasping the bottom of my shirt as he placed hot kisses along my neck.

"It was too organized," I gasped, feeling myself giving in to the moment all over again. "Almost unnatural." I raised my arms just as I had when it first happened, and he pulled my shirt up and over my head.

"But you didn't let that dissuade you," he whispered, tossing my shirt aside as he bit into my neck. Soon his fingers found my bra hook and he unclasped it with ease, tugging it off as my breasts bounced free.

I spun around, my lips locking with his and his tongue plunged into my mouth, exploring it lustfully as my hands began to undo his pants. He pulled away from my mouth to pull his own shirt off, then captured me again in a tidal wave of aggressive kisses. One of his hands grabbed up a fistful of my hair as he lifted me up with his free arm, my legs wrapping around his waist, and he walked us to the bed, throwing me backwards onto the mattress before kicking his pants and boxers off. My pants and underwear were torn off in a flash and he positioned himself over top of me, his throbbing member pressing against my folds.

"Was it good?" he whispered, taking one of my nipples into his mouth.

"Oh god, yes!" I moaned in response to both the question and his actions. His tongue flicked over the hardened bud, and I felt him slowly begin to penetrate me as I dug my nails into the comforter.

"I certainly hope it was," he hissed, his eyes meeting mine with a dark glare. "For all the years of agony that followed, I hope the way he fucked you was at least worth it."

I lay stunned, completely broken out of whatever spell he'd had me under, but only for a moment. When he began to thrust inside of me, I was overcome with the moment once again, and I locked my legs around him, raking my nails over his back as he began to thrust at a vicious pace, each move nearly knocking the wind out of me.

My eyes rested on the ceiling as I ground my hips into his, taking in the scent of sex that was filling the room and the feel of his black hair against my cheek as his teeth bit into my neck. But just as I remembered, the moment was over too soon. Within a few minutes, I heard him groan as he reached his orgasm, pumping himself wildly into me before coming to a stop, pressing his lips against my neck and then pausing there as he worked to catch his breath. I closed my eyes, feeling his heart hammering within his chest as he was still pressed against me, and I placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.

"Tell me about the first time he hit you..." he whispered in my ear breathlessly.

When I opened my eyes, he was gone. I was back in Asgard, laying in my bedchamber, fully clothed, and Emma was sleeping peacefully in her cradle. I sat up, my heart still beating rapidly, wiping the sweat from my brow, and looked around. Loki was gone.