Chapter 10
The warmth of daylight on my face was the first thing to wake me, and the heavy but blissful sensation that was currently consuming my body made me realize just how deeply I had been sleeping. I rolled over, expecting to find I was once again in an empty bed, just as I had every other time.
When I came face to face with a pair of closed eyes beneath a few stray stands of messy black hair, I almost jumped right out of the bed.
Loki was sound asleep, one arm tucked behind his head, his other hand resting on his slowly rising and falling chest. I debated on whether or not I should wake him, knowing anyone could walk in at any second, but I couldn't stop watching him, seeming to take in some tranquility myself from watching him in such a deep state of sleep. My mind went back to the time I spent with him in the cell, and I mused over how I almost wished it had ended with him asleep by my side.
Loki was frustrating to understand, I was quickly learning. Since my arrival, he'd been someone I'd cowered from, grew enraged with, was aroused by, and no doubt attracted to. What he had in mind for me still was beyond me. Then again, I was still unsure what exactly was going on around me. With each of his visits my perception of reality was growing more and more confusing.
There was one question I still hadn't pondered too deeply... the question of how he was continuously visiting me like this. I hadn't given it much thought recently, but now that he'd encouraged me to start asking more questions, I couldn't help but begin to wonder how him laying beside me was even possible. My stomach twisted with nausea, surprising me, and as if he knew, Loki's eyes snapped open.
He placed his hand on my shoulder, grasping it firmly, and he shook his head. "None of that, today," he whispered.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, holding my stomach. He paused, looking me over contemplatively.
"I don't want you thinking on it, today," he said. "We explored some truly dark places last night. I want you to give it a rest for a while."
"Thank you," I breathed with relief as he pressed his lips to my forehead.
I couldn't help but feel glad he had chosen to behave in a caring manner today, and I relaxed against him, murmuring sleepily, "Show me something beautiful."
"What would you like to see?" he asked.
"Anything," I answered, stroking his pale cheek. He reached up, taking my hand as he looked deep into my eyes, and around us the room changed.
I was standing in a snowy forest, surrounded by snow covered trees, and above me was a night sky littered with stars. Even though there were flakes falling all around me, I didn't feel cold, even though I was not only not wearing a coat, but I was barefoot as well.
Behind me, Loki stood, looking up at the falling snow, a faint smile spreading across his face. I could tell in that moment he'd brought me to a place that brought him true peace. I wondered how many times he retreated here himself when he needed time alone.
"Even before I knew my true parentage," he spoke, still watching the snow. "I always found something beautiful about snow." I smiled, enjoying seeing him like this, and I looked up into the night sky, letting the flakes land on my face. Loki stepped closer, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my neck.
"I must leave you soon," he whispered. "Enjoy your day. Enjoy your beautiful daughter. Take in some fresh air. No more darkness for today."
He slowly withdrew from me, and the forest disappeared, bringing us back to my chambers, laying in my bed again. Sitting up, Loki stretched with a yawn, then got to his feet, pacing over towards Emma's cradle and peering in at the sleeping infant. I sat up, watching him, thinking of how the last time I was in this position I'd been frozen with fear. This time, however, I felt differently. The desire to protect her was not there, and I felt safe. After watching her for a moment, Loki muttered something that, while I wasn't positive, sounded like, "Your husband is a bastard."
And just like that he was gone, disappearing into thin air. I climbed out of bed, seizing the opportunity to have a few moments to myself before Emma would awaken, and went about getting myself dressed and presentable.
I found myself taking Loki's advice, wandering out to the courtyard after the soldiers had finished their training, and after laying out a blanket, I set Emma down on her tummy to let her practice picking her head up and propping herself up on both arms while I sat back with a book, listening to her little sounds to make sure she wasn't about to get fussy.
Behind me, I heard footsteps and before I had time to look up, Thor sat himself down next to me. "Glad to see you're looking well, Anna," he said and I smiled, setting the book down.
"I slept like a rock," I replied, looking down to see Emma holding her head up, wobbling a little from the strain before slowly setting it down again.
"I assume that would be after you were crying." I blinked, looking to him slowly.
"You heard me?" I asked, caring more to know how much he had heard.
"You were one of the voices I heard." I had no idea how to respond to that, so I sat silently, waiting for him to speak again. "My mother approached me with concern, so I came to your chambers to check on you. That was when I heard you crying and my brother's voice."
"So am I in trouble now?" I asked, turning my eyes back on Emma.
"No, but I will offer you a word of caution. You don't know my brother, Loki, like I do. And there's nothing left in him but lies and hatred. Whatever he's bated you with, whatever empty promises he's given you, I urge you to abandon them. He's nothing to offer you but pain."
"That's not true," I said without thinking. "Loki has brought me pain like you wouldn't believe, but-"
"It's nothing compared to what he's capable of," Thor interrupted, his tone grave. "Do not trust him, Anna. The next time he comes to you, send him away. Do not even let him speak to you."
Emma began to grunt unhappily and I reached down, picking her up and setting her on my lap. Thor reached over and cupped a hand under her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. She responded with a large toothless smile and he grinned at her.
"I know, you're happy here, Anna," he continued. "But if you continue to entertain Loki's effect on you, he will bring an end to that happiness."
"What do you mean?" I asked, but Thor shook his head.
"When he visits you again, send him away. Trust me." With that, he stood up and walked away. I only pondered his words for a few moments before returning my attention to Emma, bouncing her away happily in my lap.
Later in the afternoon, after Emma finally went down for her nap, I went for a hot bath, tying my hair up while the tub was filled. As I slipped into the water and reclined back, I stared up at the ceiling, breathing in deep the scent of the now dissolved bath salts. Lilac.
The scent brought my mind back to the prison once again and I smiled, feeling the warmth of arousal as I recalled the sweet events which had played out. Closing my eyes, I thought of Loki in his cell, imagining he was probably absorbed in another one of his books, quite possibly bored out of his mind.
Imagining his long slender fingers turning the pages made me remember how they'd felt when tracing down my torso...
I slipped my hand into the water and thought back on watching myself in the mirror as he'd cupped my breasts, how amazing he'd felt when he'd laid me back and teased me with his tongue, and the moment he'd first sheathed himself inside me...
The water splashed as I arched my back, gasping loudly, and I pulled my hand out of the water, allowing myself to sink back in the last lingering wave of pleasure.
"It will not happen again. Not until I've given you what you need."
I sighed, opening my eyes to the empty bathroom, wishing now more than ever I knew what he'd meant by that.
When the night came, Loki did not return, not surprising me, and I barely had time to feel disappointed as I was sound asleep very shortly after Emma went to bed.
For the first time since my arrival to Asgard, I dreamed.
I dreamed I was back in the hospital again, waking up for the first time after the accident. Beside me, my mother sat, holding my hand, her eyes closed and tears rolling down her face. At once I felt the urge to speak up, to let her know I was all right, but for whatever reason, I could not will my mouth to move. Instead I just lay there, watching her as if she were grieving.
In the back of my mind, I could hear a voice calling me, and my eyelids grew heavy.
I barely had time to catch a glimpse of a nurse stepping in, her eyes focused on the clip board in her hand, and her voice asking my mother, "Has nothing changed?" was the last thing I heard before my eyelids fell shut.
When I opened my eyes, nausea hit me harder than before, and before I had time to move, a hand came down, clasping the back of my neck, tugging me upwards as a pail was placed in front of my face just in time. I grasped both sides of it, heaving forward as I proceeded to vomit, coughing and choking as my stomach continued to twist and turn, and it felt like hours before it finally stopped.
When I picked my head up at last, noticing it was already daylight, a hand reached around, wiping my mouth dry with a handkerchief, and as soon as I was clean both the handkerchief and the pail vanished in a flash of green. I sat still, panting as sweat rolled down my face, and I felt a hand rub my back.
"What happened?" I asked, after a moment, hearing Loki sigh behind me.
"We're running out of time," he stated darkly. "Tonight, I will come for you, Anna, but I warn you, it will be far worse than before."
"What? What do you mean?" I turned to look at him, and he placed a hand on the side of my face, his eyes filled with a mixture or concern and... regret?
"I had hoped to prolong it... but I fear that's no longer an option. Everything is about to change, and you have to know the truth before it's too late. Tonight I will come for you, and you shall have your answers." I opened my mouth, but he silenced me with a kiss, his hand grasping the back of my head as he pressed me to him in an almost crushing grip. After a few breathless moments, he parted his lips from mine to whisper, "I would have you by my side... always." With that, I felt him fade away, leaving me alone once again.