A/N: No throwing iPads or dropping laptops. It took them over three years to get here, so this takes as long as it takes to work out. More assertive Kate and hesitant Castle because that's how they both were around this time, when she had new confidence and certainty over what she wanted, while he was slowly losing faith.
Chapter 9 – Drifting
Castle hesitates on the bed just as long as it takes for Kate to slip one pointed, painted set of toes out of the bathroom door. Before his very eyes she slowly slides her long, bare, toned, tanned leg up and down the doorframe. He can see immediately that Kate Beckett is far more talented than any professional stripper - with her elegant tease and classy allure - and in the next heartbeat he also knows with a resounding certainty that he is a goner.
She has him body, mind, heart and soul.
So when she dangles her cotton camisole around the doorjamb and then tosses it out into the bedroom with unfettered abandon, that's when he sprints, feet briefly skidding on her bedroom rug, arms pinwheeling in midair, like The Road Runner chasing Wile E. Coyote, until he manages to catch himself on the dresser and slides to a sudden halt. He takes a moment to calm himself - flattens his hands down over his wrinkled shirt, smoothes his hair and pats his mouth - attempting to compose himself before he faces the playful vixen Detective Beckett is turning into before his eyes.
He takes a deep breath, puffs out his chest, and is on the point of entering the bathroom, when Kate's tiny cotton shorts hit him square in the face. He catches them when they drop down off his nose to land on his chest.
His mouth is hanging open when Kate's cheeky, grinning face appears around the door. Water thunders into the tub behind her, but he can still hear her giggling above the musical soundtrack of running water.
"Did you just—?" he gasps, as she doubles over, hands pressed to her knees, struggling for breath.
He holds her sleep shorts out to her and she snatches them back, tossing them into a laundry hamper in the corner beneath the sink.
"I'm sorry," she gasps, tears swimming in her eyes from laughing so hard. "That wasn't supposed to happen."
She's wrapped in a very short, white, fluffy towel, her shoulders and arms completely exposed, along with her legs all the way south of mid-thigh.
"You just did a strip tease…for me," says Castle, still not sure exactly how to respond, since it's kind of out of character for her.
But then there isn't much about any of this situation that isn't out of character for both of them.
"You don't seem…entirely thrilled," Kate points out, still chuckling, but trying to get her laughter under control for Castle's sake.
"No, I'm—Oh, bath!" he says, lunging past her to reach for the faucet. "About to overflow," he explains, quickly turning off the water.
When he straightens up, he's standing right next to her, and Kate turns towards him – fluid, natural, without a second's hesitation. She's a few inches shorter in her bare feet, and she looks up at him with such absolute trust in her eyes. He feels his stomach somersault and his heart rate speed up. She takes hold of his hands for a brief second, squeezes them both and then she lets go again to run her hands all the way up his arms, finally curling her fingers around his biceps to hold onto him.
"Stop fighting this, Rick," she whispers, letting her body fall into his, landing softly against his chest. "It's time to give in. I love you. I'm not going to hurt you," she promises, resting her cheek against his shoulder.
Castle freezes for a second. But what she's saying suddenly strikes him as so simple, so straightforward, and he breathes out in pure relief, wrapping his arms tightly around her, finally cradling her against his body.
He rests his chin on top of her head, revelling in just how perfectly she fits against him. "I love you too, Kate," he whispers, pressing his lips against her hair. "Look at me," he begs, tipping his head down so that he can see her when she looks up at him. "Don't ever doubt that."
Kate nods, smiles weakly and then she stretches up on tiptoe to kiss him.
They start off slow, a gentle, tender exploration, their lips barely brushing until the tingle becomes a burn and the kiss turns bruising when the fire inside both of them is allowed to burn freely. Kate lifts her arms up, slides her hands through his hair and then entwines herself around his neck, her carefully knotted towel forgotten.
Castle's breathing is erratic, his heart racing, as he finally gives in to the need and painful, fragile hope he's been carrying around like a stone in his chest for years. He breaks away from Kate's mouth to kiss her cheeks, her eyelids. He hears her breathy laughter when he peppers kisses over her forehead, her nose and chin – a light, tinkling, joyful sound that spurs him on to make more of that very same music. And then he catches the sharp intake of breath when he drags his mouth down over her jaw and across her tender neck, hoping his stubble isn't hurting her soft skin.
Her fingers clutch at his shoulder and the back of his shirt when he sucks and licks at the pale skin of her throat, tongue darting out to capture a bead of perspiration that trickles down her neck to land in the perfect dip at the heart of her clavicle.
"Yes," she hisses, when he sucks her earlobe into his mouth and swirls his tongue around the shell. "Yes, yes, Castle. Oh, God," she moans, curling herself around him, pulling him down towards her so that she can kiss the nape of his neck, wrapping him up in her own body, strong, warm arms holding him close.
Stunned, they pull apart a few seconds later, both panting for breath, their cheeks flushed and pulses racing.
"See," Kate whispers, cupping his face in her hands to focus his attention, searching his stormy, wild eyes with her own. "Tell me you don't feel that," she challenges him, placing her hand on his thundering heart, before she lifts his hand, presses it over her own racing heart and holds it there. "We can be good at this too, Castle. We're gonna be so good at this," she whispers, stretching up to kiss him again. "We are. We're gonna be so good at this," she chants, brushing her open lips over his neck as she reaches for the hem of his t-shirt.
She begins to lift his shirt, raising it to ribcage level until he gets the idea and then she takes a step back to give him room - and frankly just to watch - as he takes over for her, lifting the NYPD shirt over his head and stripping it off completely.
Her bottom lip is drawn in between her teeth, the kiss-swollen flesh blanched white, while her eyes are fixed on his bare chest. And she stands still in utter silence just worshiping him with her shameless, brazen gaze. She briefly flicks her eyes up to look at his face and finds him watching her. They share a moment of recognition and something that approximates agreement, a pact between them. This powerful, highly charged frisson ignites a spark, crackles, the flash of heat and then the slow flickering burn as the fire between them takes hold again.
Kate steps in close, hands reaching out to touch him. Her cheeks are flushed, the front of the towel, now barely knotted, rises and falls jerkily with each stuttering breath she takes, and Castle believes he can almost see her heart pounding beneath her skin. She places her hands on his pectorals, and he burns with desire, relief, potential, excitement, lust and overwhelming love for this courageous, extraordinary woman. He watches, astounded, breath held, as she smoothes her hands across his chest, up towards his shoulders and then back down over his torso in a blazing, lazy trail of scorching fingers and gazing palms, following every stroke and movement with her eyes. Every inch of him tingles as little jolts of electrical energy race out across his skin.
"You look amazing. You…you feel amazing," she breathes, her voice catching in her throat as a bubble of nervous laughter escapes along with her wonder at being able to touch him like this for the very first time.
"You sound surprised," says Castle, and Kate's head immediately snaps up to look at him.
He's smiling, that laid-back Castle smile she's so used to. But this…this is anything but usual for both of them.
"I'm—no! Not surprised at all. Just…in awe, I think," she confesses, so far beyond filtered thought that Castle almost laughs.
"Awe?" he chokes with a smirk, laughing when she cringes and buries her warm face in his chest.
"Shut up," she growls, nipping at the cords of his powerful neck with her teeth in at tiny act of revenge.
He slides one arm around her back and draws her tight against his body until the knot of her towel is pressed between them. "I have to go out drinking and let you come rescue me more often, if this is what it leads to," he tells her, stroking one hand down over her hair.
"No." Kate shakes her head, and then leans in to press a gentle kiss over his heart. "No need for that. I plan on telling you…a whole lot more just how you make me feel. Don't worry. From now on you won't be able to shut me up," she giggles, when Castle drops one hand to her ass and squeezes.
"Is that so?" he asks, crowding against her.
"Mmm-hmm," she hums, licking her lips before she kisses her way down the midline of his stomach, watching in delight as his abs jump and contract under her touch.
Castle eyes the bath she just ran over her shoulder. The water is still hot, steaming above the surface of the tub. If she gets called out it really would be better if they had bathed at least, since it's been more than twenty-four hours since he last showered.
"Hey," he says, leaning back a little, and then cupping her cheek with his hand, "how about we take that bath?"
Kate's eyes light up and he notices the slight hitch in her breathing at his fairly bold suggestion.
"You sure?" asks Kate, her fingers already skating around the waistband of his boxer shorts and sneakily dipping underneath.
"If you are?" counters Castle, eyeing up the loose knot on the front of her towel.
Kate's face becomes serious again in that infinitesimal dead space between heartbeats.
"You okay?" asks Castle with concern, lightly touching her bare shoulder.
She nods, but tears well in her eyes, and though she tries to smile through them, they fall, splashing down her cheeks and onto her arm.
"Hey, what's all this?" asks Castle, roughly pulling her in for another hug. He holds her, rocking them both from side-to-side. "We don't have to do anything, Kate. We can take this as slow as you want. I know the last twenty-four hours has been exhausting and emotional."
"No," she whispers, sniffing and wiping at her damp cheeks. "You don't understand. I'm happy, Castle. I'm so happy for once in my life…that finally I get to be with you. I've been holding back for so long," she laments, clinging onto him. "So, let's just take that bath before it gets cold."
Castle turns away to give her some privacy when she unfastens her towel and lets it drop to the floor at her feet. But she tugs on his hand, turning him back towards her.
"You can look, you know," she tells him, the most open, vulnerable expression he's ever seen written across her face. "I really don't mind. In fact, I think I'd maybe prefer if you did…look, I mean."
He meets her eyes, and at first he can't look any further down. But then she smiles softly and nods to reassert her permission, and he drops his gaze slowly down the entire length of her body, pausing now and again to absorb some detail he finds fascinating or mesmerizing along the way.
He takes a sharp breath in, one hand rising to cover his mouth, and his eyebrows shoot up in exclamation, while he uses the other hand to hold her arm out to the side as he appreciates all of her by the soft, muted glow of the bathroom light.
He shakes his head, at a loss for a second, while Kate watches him admire her naked body for the first time. It is a powerful, beautiful, perfect moment of intimacy shared by both of them.
"Stunning, Kate," he says reverently when he eventually finds his voice. "You're simply stunning. Beautiful, perfect…I—I don't know what else to say," he shrugs, shaking his head helplessly.
Kate smiles and squeezes his hand before letting it go. "Thank you," she replies, dipping her head a little submissively. "But perfect? Even with these? I don't know," she says, bringing her own hand up to touch the scar between her breasts and the second surgical incision between her ribs, both of which he saw but didn't linger over.
Castle shakes his head and reaches out without thinking towards the scar that marks the bullet's entry point into her chest. Kate guides his fingers until they're resting against her marred skin, watching as he lightly touches both scars in quiet, gentle veneration.
"You don't understand," he tells her, looking back up to meet her eyes. "You're perfect to me," he argues, stepping even closer. "I hate that this happened to you, I do. But you're here, Kate. Alive. You survived, and these marks are a testament to that, to your strength. So if anything, they make you more not less in my eyes," he says, smoothing his hand down over her ponytail.
Kate nods silently, kisses his fingertips to thank him and then she turns away and bends to trail her fingers through the bathwater to test the temperature.
"Perfect," she tells him, jerking her head towards the water to encourage him to get in with her.
Castle is naked except for his boxer shorts, and now that his moment to perform has arrived he's getting a slight attack of shyness that he doesn't quite understand. He was becoming aroused by the kissing and the touching they've engaged in so far. And finally seeing Kate naked has tipped him further over the edge.
But Kate makes it easy for him. She rests one hand on his arm for balance and braces herself to step over the side into the tub. The water swirls around her legs, steam billowing up into the warm air.
"Come on. Get in behind me," she tells him, turning her back on him and crouching down beneath the waterline, before scooting forward to make space for him.
Castle hesitates for just a second before he strips his shorts down over his thighs and steps out of them. Then he lifts one leg over the side of the tub. His manhood bobs in midair. Kate busies herself unwrapping a new bar of soap until he settles down behind her.
His body surrounds hers, and she gradually rests back against his chest. His legs slide down to settle either side of hers, dwarfing her with his muscular physique.
"You good?" she asks, looking back at him briefly, her face flushed and glowing with perspiration from the heat of the bath.
Castle nods and smiles a little stiffly.
Kate takes each of his arms and wraps them around her, encouraging him to hold her. Finally she feels him let go a little, his body sinking back against the end of the tub, muscles relaxing, his breathing deepening and evening out.
"Just try to relax," Kate tells him, a little surprised by this tentative version of Castle that she's stumbled across.
She has no fear that he will be anything short of a spectacular lover, and she knows that she is mostly to blame for the hesitancy and care he's displayed up until now. Her lie hurt and shocked him, the exposition of the truth took a lot out of both of them. She will have to work to regain his trust. Nonetheless, she wants him to enjoy himself as much as she intends to their first time together.
"Think the phone will ring?" Castle asks her eventually, as they float in the womblike warmth of the bathtub.
Kate laughs in surprise, her shoulders shaking and her breasts bobbing in the buoyancy of the water when she tips forward a little and then turns to look back at him.
The hardness of his arousal presses against her spine and she quickly eases back into her original position.
"Stop thinking about the phone or you'll make it happen," she warns him, with a rueful grin.
"Right. Sorry," he apologizes, stifling a chuckle.
Silence stretches out and Kate is just beginning to wonder whether Castle might have fallen asleep, when he suddenly speaks again. "I would have waited for you, Kate," he tells her, burying his nose in her ponytail.
"What?" she asks, startling slightly out of her own warm, sleepy haze.
"The lie…yesterday. I would have gotten over it…eventually."
"Castle, you shouldn't have had to wait or deal with my lies," she insists, disturbing the water around them as she twists to look back at his face once more.
"Okay. But I don't want you thinking that I'm only here because you ripped open your past for me. All those private thoughts in your journal…I'd hate to think you felt you had to show those to me just to keep me around. Because I would have waited without that," he repeats, pressing a kiss to the dip in her shoulder when she leans back against him again.
"Fine," she sighs, lacing her fingers with his and resting their joined hands on top of her stomach. "But at least you know everything now. And you won't have to wonder about that time anymore."
"True," he concedes, before continuing in a drier tone. "Other than hating myself for not following you up there and breaking down the door."
"Oh, my dad would have loved that," she chuckles, nudging him playfully. "And would you just stop!" she declares, her whole body shaking with laughter. "We're over this. Okay? We agreed. There are plenty of new, more fun things we need to be learning about one another," she tells him, flirtation clear in her tone and in the way she suddenly begins to move against him, as she strokes her fingers up and down his left thigh.
Castle grips her hip, his other hand still woven with hers and pressed against her stomach.
"Careful, Kate," he growls. "Don't start something you can't finish."
"Oh, I intend to finish and then start this up all over again," she warns him in a low, roughened voice, deciding it's time to give them both a gentle nudge forward.
"What if you get called out?" he reminds her again, glancing towards the bedroom where her cell phone is still stowed away in a drawer.
"Even if I get called out," she promises, her nails digging into the muscle of his thigh for emphasis. "So, let's both drop the shy, retiring routine, Castle. I would really like you to touch me now," she says, guiding his hand down across her stomach and between her legs, their fingers still laced together. "Please?" she begs with so much want in her voice. "I need you, Castle," she whispers, her breathing becoming labored, her skin flushed and her eyes drifting closed.
TBC...
A/N: Blame this cliffhanger on BlueOrchid96, my bomb buddy. She said it was a good place to stop! :) Love to hear your thoughts. Quick reminder that death threats are a federal offence as Mr. Fillion recently pointed out. ;)