Noctis was bored. Just before him and his new friends got off the train the other three got changed while he stayed in his out fit that consisted of white dragonhide pans and boots and his purple scaled gauntlet.
They meet a half-giant which caused everyone else to gape and stare, they were placed on boats and forced to sail across the lake when the other students caught carriages pulled by skeletal horses.
Then they entered the castle and the professor from his first visit here showed up glared at him, said a small speech and then left. Soon after they were pulled into a great hall with a charm on the roof to make it look like the ky and a tattered old hat began to sing. Finally it was placed on people's heads and called out their house's. God it was all so boring.
"Harry Potter" Professor McGonagall called out. Everyone grew quite and started looking around.
One minute passed. Two minutes passed. Three minutes passed. "Mr Potter please come and get sorted" McGonagall ordered.
Noctis bored with all of the waiting pulled a book out of his pocket (bigger on the inside than the outside) and started to read it.
Ten minutes passed of McGonagall demanding that Mr Potter get sorted and Noctis reading when he lowered his book and called out "Professor it appears that there is no one who goes by the name of Harry Potter here so maybe it would be better for you to continue with the sorting."
Noctis smirked at McGonagall's expression. When he first met the teacher he believed that he would like her as she seemed to have a sense of proffesionalism which meant that she would be fair, not rude and unintrusive but the second she called him Harry Potter he changed his mind and knew that if she didn't stop soon he would make her suffer.
"Very well" McGonagall growled before continuing down the list.
True to Luna's prediction she was a Ravenclaw, Daphne a Slytherin, Neville a Gryffindor. The bushy haired girl who he found out was named Hermione became a Slytherin and everyone else was of unimportance at that point in time so Noctis didn't pay anymore attention.
Finally only one person remained. Noctis Esper. "Will you just be sorted?" McGonagall sighed.
Noctis was going to push it a bit but decided not to and walked over placing the hat on his head.
"Well well well aren't you an interesting one" the hat murmured in his head.
"Yeah yeah will you just hurry up this is boring" Noctis thought back.
"Very well just give me a second. You have such loyalty, a thirst for knowledge though not for knowledge's sake but for your dream, lot's of ambition though no cunning and courage... courage... courage is for Gryffindor you have courage so you must be a GRYFFINDOR!" the hat shouted out.
The Gryffindor table erupted into cheers but Noctis ignored them and sat at the Ravenclaw table next to Luna "it looks like you were wrong" he grinned.
"Mr Hat's not feeling very well Nargles have muddled his brain" Luna replied frowning in what looked like worry.
"So he's confused?" Noctis asked frowning.
"That's what I said" Luna replied.
Moving faster than anyone else thought was possible Noctis ran over grabbed the hat and smacked it on the ground yelling "WAKE UP!"
"Oh god my head. I've got a pounding headache" the hat yelled out. it stared at Noctis "who the fuck are you?" it asked confused.
An old guy wearing pink and yellow robes stood up "hat this is Mr Potter you just sorted him into Gryffindor now if you don't mind it's time for the feast" the old man said looking a little worried.
"What the fuck are you on Dumbledore I never sorted this kid in my life" the hat yelled. "Now kid put me on."
Noctis did as it said.
"What the hell I did sort you. But that wasn't me any fool can see you don't belong in Gryffindor you have nothing to fear so you have no courage to speak of. You are extremely loyal and a hard worker. You seek knowledge not for knowledge's sake but for your dreams which would make Rowena proud knowledge without a goal is like a sword without a blade fucking useless. Not much cunning but great ambition. Hmmm you don't differentiate between races or species, you will put people in their place if need be and you have the power to do it as well. Kid you will be a great asset to this house maybe you can change their image. Have fun in SLYTHERIN" the hat yelled the last part.
The entire hall was silent as Noctis walked over and sat down beside Daphne at the Slytherin table. Eventually Dumbledore regained control of himself and announced that the feast had began. Instantly piles and piles of food appeared all over the tables everything looked delicious and not any of it was part of Noctis's diet.
"I'll be right back" he informed Daphne before walking to the staff table infront of McGonagall.
"Professor the food for my diet is not here. How do I get it?" he asked politely.
"I'm sorry but the ingredients for your diet were too hard to come by and as such you will have to just eat what we have here" McGonagall apologized.
"Come now Harry a good english roast is just what you need" Dumbledore said genially only to be ignored as Noctis walked back to the Slytherin table.
"What was that about?" Daphne asked.
"I have a special diet and as such this food while edible is terrible for me. It appears that the ingredients were to hard to come by" Noctis shrugged.
"What are you going to do?" Daphne asked.
Noctis pulled a pen and paper from his pocket and quickly wrote something down before letting out a small sharp whistle. A whole appeared in the table infront of him and a green rabbit with a gem in it's forehead climbed out. The girls in the vicinity all went "awww."
"Hey Carbunkle I need you to take this to the kitchen's at home and return with what the chef's hand you can you do that?" Noctis asked petting the creature.
Carbunkle let out a small chirp grabbed the letter and jumped back in the hole which disappeared.
"What was that?" Daphne and Hermione asked at the same time.
"That was Carbunkle a friend of mine" Noctis said as Carbunkle reappeared with a bowl filled with steaming stew.
Noctis took the soup "thanks Carbunkle" he said smiling. "I'd like you to meet my new friend this is Daphne" he said gesturing to Daphne.
Carbunkle chirped at Daphne before diving on her lap and laying there to sleep.
"Awww he's so cute" Daphne cooed petting the creature.
"Ten points from Slytherin for incorrect attire Mr Potter" a voice sneered behind them. Noctis ignored it.
"Ten more points for ignoring a teacher" the voice sneered. Noctis just continued eating his stew.
Everyone in the hall was watching as the teacher was being ignored by Noctis. Eventually in a fit of anger the teacher reached out his hand to swipe away Noctis's stew only for the boy to stop him. "I don't advise doing that Professor" he said calmly.
"That will be twenty points and a detention for threatening me" the teacher sneered. Noctis just shrugged and quickly downed the rest of his stew.
It was at that point that Dumbledore intervened. "I need Mr Potter and the four house head's in my office now" he ordered before he walked out the four house heads quickly followed him. Noctis stayed where he was.
"What are you doing? Why aren't you going?" Daphne asked shocked.
Noctis rolled his eyes "he said Mr Potter I am Noctis Esper remember."
"You're going to cost us even more points" Hermione shrieked.
"Oh my god we won't win a cup. Whatever will we do" Noctis said dramatically causing several people to snicker.
A few minutes later when most of the house had finished eating the first years were given a tour to the Slytherin common rooms.
Yes Hermione in Slytherin im sure none of you expected that but if you go through most fanfiction that people do then you will see she belongs there. She can be very cunning and the hermione bashing fanfic always does her as if she HAS to be better than everyone else which is arrogance and ambition so she fits.
also someone complained that this shouldnt be funny (well i think they complained) and honestly im not trying to be funny it just happens. It makes sense for Shiva to freeze those who pisses her off so she does. the fact that you guys find it funny is just a bonus :D