Author's Note: I don't even know how long this will be anymore, so don't take me seriously if I start guessing again. It just keeps getting longer.

Alfred had to get glasses the summer before his sophomore year of high school.

Mattie thought it was hilarious up until the day his eyesight started failing as well, and the Jones twins were once again identical in almost every way. Or only to those who didn't know them well enough to tell the two apart by the color of their respective frames – Alfred blue, Matthew red.

"I think they look nifty!" Feliciano chirped, looming over Alfred's shoulder with a look of wonder in his eyes, taking every stroke of the Omega's pencil in with excitement. Alfred's bored habit of doodling on his homework had long since turned into an actual talent. If he couldn't play sports, then at least he had this. "Really, Al, you don't look as ridiculous as you think!"

"No one says 'nifty' anymore, Feli." Alfred teased, reaching up to push the spectacles further up his nose. He fidgeted with the sketchbook in his lap, glancing up from their place in the bleachers to watch the practices going on around them.

The cross-country team was sprinting across the grass at the south end of the field, a few feet beyond a soccer goal, and if Alfred squinted, he thought he could make out the figures of Lovino and Antonio. A Beta and an Alpha – always competing with one another. Alfred smiled to himself before shifting his gaze over to the soccer players, the main reason the young Omega was even there in the first place.

They were currently taking a water break, and he saw Ludwig and Gilbert first, arguing over something or other just as they always were. Honestly, even Alfred and Matthew didn't fight that much. Arthur was a few feet away from them, raising his arms above his head in a stretch before he bent over, gripping at his calves and holding the position for – what Alfred assumed to be – longer than necessary. The Omega's jersey rode up in the back a little, exposing slightly tanned skin, and Alfred had to look away.

"What are you lookin' at, Al?"

"Nothin', really." Alfred commented off-handedly, tearing his gaze away from the field to stare instead at his sketchbook instead. "I'm kinda stuck here. Just looking for inspiration."

Feliciano squirmed in his spot next to Alfred, perspiration starting to appear at his hairline. The two of them had been in the bleachers for over an hour now, Feliciano attempting to do homework while Alfred drew anything that caught his attention. Which was mostly Arthur, though anything incriminating was stashed away in another sketchbook that no one was allowed to see. But sometimes, Alfred couldn't help it. While watching the team play, Alfred became so enthralled by the movement that he almost hadn't realized what he was doing until a pair of legs took shape on his paper.

At this point, Alfred was still coming to terms with everything he'd been discovering about himself, and while things were still uncertain, he'd become more comfortable. Arthur never said much unless Alfred brought it up first, and even then they never made much progress. True to their nature, the two Omegas – while pretty rambunctious in their own way – were still skittish around one another when alone, and to vent out his frustrations, Alfred took to drawing.

Drawing had never been easy for him, though he'd become quite good while practicing in the privacy of his bedroom. He started out with inanimate objects before turning to animals, and was now trying to start on humans. It was easiest to draw faces, like Arthur's, who was the most likely person in Alfred's life to sit still for copious amounts of time. In addition, the British Omega's concentration levels were off the charts. Alfred could enter a room while his friend was studying for a test, draw his entire head in explicit detail, and leave without ever being noticed.

"I could model for you!" Feliciano exclaimed suddenly. "That's the assignment for Monday, right? Draw a human?"

An artist himself, the Beta had been ecstatic when Alfred expressed interest in drawing, all too willing to help the blue-eyed American until stick figures began to take actual human form. Drawing was the only class the two shared, though Alfred found that they stuck together whenever they could now. He'd always liked Feliciano Vargas, but never had their relationship been on the same level as his friendship with Arthur.

It probably never would be, but they were pretty darn close.

"That's what I'm trying to do now." Alfred huffed, frowning when the coach blew his whistle and the players – Arthur included – hustled back onto the middle of the field. "Or... I think so, anyway."

"You only think so?"

"Well, I was trying to sketch that tree over by the parking lot." Alfred explained, waving his pencil over in the general direction. "And next thing I know there are legs on my paper. And they actually don't look like shit, which is weird. You know how bad I am at human anatomy."

Feliciano frowned, maroon eyes narrowing as he studied the paper in Alfred's lap. "Huh, you're right. Those actually look proportionate."

"Gee, thanks."

"Were you drawing one of the players? I think that line you started above the calf is supposed to be a sock."

Alfred shrugged, though he had a nagging suspicion that he'd probably started drawing either Arthur or Ludwig. And by the definition of the muscle, significantly smaller than the German Alpha's, it was probably Arthur. "I don't even know. My hand is cramping anyway."

Alfred started to turn the page when Feliciano caught his wrist, snatching the sketchbook before Alfred could even register what had happened. "Hey!" The Omega yelped. "Give that back!"

The sound of a ball being kicked caught Alfred's attention, along with Ludwig shouting something in German, and Feliciano glanced toward the field briefly before waving Alfred away. "Hold on a second, Al, let me look at this. I wanna help!"

"Fine." Alfred grumped, scowling when his dumb glasses slipped further down his nose, the edges slicked with sweat. Really, how long was this practice going to last? Alfred was pretty sure he'd heard his mother say something about him having to walk home alone if Arthur's practice ran late, that Alfred needed to be home for some reason or other. Alfred didn't really want to leave without Arthur, but there was only so much the Omega could take.

Even from that far away, Arthur looked just as miserable as Alfred felt, panting heavily with his hands on his hips as the offensive players worked out a play that Alfred was certain they'd been trying to perfect even before the break had started. Coach Vargas – Feliciano's surprisingly youthful grandpa – was pretty much one of the coolest guys Alfred had ever met, but during practice, he was almost an entirely different person, someone even Gilbert wouldn't dare talk back to. They could all easily be there long after supper if they didn't get the movements right.

"I got it!" Feliciano piped up, snapping his fingers. "You can't draw it, because you've never seen it before!"

"Huh?" Alfred replied, distracted when Arthur used the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat and dirt from his face.

"When I was learning how to draw anatomy, I couldn't put the parts onto paper because I couldn't visualize what I was going to draw before I drew it." Feliciano explained. "I'd never seen a naked human body before. So, I took some magazines from my grandpa's room and looked at the pictures until I had a good mental image of what I had to draw. It was almost too easy after that!"

Alfred felt slightly ill, though he shouldn't have been very surprised. Feliciano had tried to show him "those pictures" before, which only made Alfred more aware of the fact that girls weren't his first choice. To make matters worse, he'd felt dirty when he looked at them, as if he were disrespecting the women in the photos. "So, what you're saying is that I need to really look at a naked person, and then I'll be able to draw anatomy?"

The Beta nodded enthusiastically. "For me, it's easier to draw them naked and then add clothes after. Maybe it's the same for you! I don't know how Mrs. Adams would feel if you turned in a nude portrait, though."

Feliciano started to laugh then, and after a moment, Alfred joined in. "This is crazy." The Omega said after a moment, removing his glasses to wipe a lone tear from the corner of his eye. "I can't stare at a picture of some naked guy until I can draw him!"

"You could draw a girl." Feliciano replied, and Alfred's breathing faltered, fearful that he'd said the wrong thing. "I can give you one of Grandpa's magazines, if you want."

"Sure." Alfred agreed, purposefully trying to fill his voice with as much eagerness as possible. "That would be awesome!"

Feliciano smiled, obviously pleased that he was helping, but then blinked when the coach's whistle blew, signaling the end of practice. "Wow, that didn't last long at all. Remember when we had to stay behind to help clean up the lunchroom after that food fight last year, and they were still doing drills when we left? Grandpa didn't come home with Lovi until really late."

Alfred nodded, remembering how Feliciano had taken the blame for Lovino when the principal demanded to know who had started the fight. Alfred had nearly choked on his bubble gum when his friend spoke up, voice calm and clear as he said, "I'm sorry. I thought it would be fun."

Afterward, when Alfred joined his friend in cleaning up after school just because he felt bad, he couldn't help but ask, "Why'd you say you did it?"

"He's been in enough trouble this year." Feliciano had replied, "he" being Lovino. The young Beta scrubbed fiercely at a grease stain on one of the windows, frowning while Alfred looked on in confusion and awe. "He would've gotten suspended if the principal found out the truth, and then fratello wouldn't be able to be on the cross-country team anymore. At least I don't have much to lose."

Alfred had decided then that Feliciano was much more brave than anyone gave him credit for, and it wasn't fair that the Beta was well-known for crying during a dissection in freshman year biology class. Alfred remembered Arthur pulling him underneath the table when Lovino flung a spoonful of mashed potatoes at Antonio, who in turn retaliated and started a full-blown food war. "Only in America." Arthur had muttered, rolling his eyes as a teacher entered the cafeteria and started screeching for everyone to settle down.

"Does this never happen in Britain?"

"Oh, it does, surely. Just not over a reason as idiotic as who has the best American accent."

Lovino had looked anxious when the principal showed up, only for that anxiety to switch to horror when Feliciano – covered in ketchup – stood up to take responsibility. Alfred had to admit that Lovino would've gotten into more trouble than Feliciano did, suspension being the probable outcome while Feliciano got off with two-hour detentions after school for an entire week.

Alfred stayed behind every day just to wait for his friend, sending his brother, Arthur, Annie, Scott, and Alasdair on their way without him. The Omega suffered major boredom while waiting those two hours out by himself, though it had been worth it to see the forlorn expression on Feliciano's face disappear when the Beta saw Alfred sitting just outside the door, waiting for him.

"Here." Alfred blinked at the sound of Feliciano's voice, realizing the boy was holding something out for him.

"Feli, why are you carrying a Playboy around in your backpack?"

"Grandpa doesn't know I have it. Put it away, put it away!"

Laughing and feeling only a little bit queasy, Alfred stuffed the offending magazine into his backpack, right in-between his History and Geometry textbooks. Now he'd have to work up the courage over the weekend to dig the thing out and stare at it long enough to acquire a mental image of a woman's body. Maybe he could force himself to like women more than men. Alfred would have to make sure his parents weren't home. Or Matthew. Or even Arthur.

Especially Arthur.

"Al!" The two art students looked down the bleachers to find Arthur standing there, toting his duffel and a soccer ball that was way past its prime, twirling his car keys around in his left hand. "Come on, or we'll be late for dinner."

"You guys live only a few blocks away." Feliciano said as Alfred gathered his things, shoving his sketchbook and pencil into his backpack and zipping it up. "How come you have the car?"

"Arthur doesn't like to walk home after soccer practice. Too tired. Comin', Artie!"

On the short drive home, Arthur was more talkative then usual, not that Alfred minded any. It was easier to just listen nowadays than it was to talk, and Arthur seemed to have no problems filling the silence that Alfred would've destroyed only a few months ago. "Next time we have to stay late because of Gilbert, I'm going to hide his clothes when he goes to rinse off after gym. Ludwig is growing irked as well. I thought there was going to be a brawl during the break."

Alfred grunted, hot and tired and all too aware of the Playboy crammed into his bag. Some part of him was paranoid that Arthur knew it was there. As if to confirm these thoughts, Arthur went on to say, "Hey, what did Feliciano give you after practice? It looked important."

"Oh, that?" Alfred replied, lolling his head to the left side so he could look at Arthur. "It was some art magazine. I'm having problems with drawing. Feli thought it would help me."

"Do you think it will?"

Alfred hesitated, watching a bead of sweat slide down Arthur's temple. "I sure hope so."

There were a few high school students in town that some had expected to drop out before senior year, but Annie Kirkland had never been one of them.

Alfred walked over to Arthur's house with Matthew on a Saturday in 1985. Alasdair and Scott had promised to take the twins fishing to keep them out of their mother's hair while she cleaned the house from top to bottom. Alfred was excited, chattering nonstop to Matthew on the walk over, only to find Arthur and Peter sitting on the porch swing with odd expressions on their faces.

"Hey." Alfred greeted, though he didn't know how to continue when Arthur looked up at him with eyes as acidic as Gilbert Beilschmidt's.

"Is something the matter?" Matthew inquired, and both boys flinched when they heard a shout from inside, accompanied by the sound of a door being slammed. "What the heck – "

"Mum's upset." Peter said. At six, most of the boy's speech problems were gone, though he was much more quiet than any of his siblings, more like Matthew despite the fact that they weren't related. Alfred, who was the kid's primary babysitter, thought that Peter was just scheming, a thinker – much like Arthur – who wouldn't say much unless it was important or his temper got the better of him.

"Annie plans to drop out of school." Arthur said before Alfred or Matthew could reply. "She told us as much during breakfast."

"What?" Alfred and Matthew said simultaneously. Alfred couldn't believe it! Annie had always been the smartest person he knew, helping them all with their tougher subjects until they were nearly experts themselves. She'd always loved school, found excitement in learning new things, and even when they were children she'd talked about becoming a teacher herself someday. If she dropped out of school now, what would happen to her?

"Did she say why?" Mattie asked, taking a seat on the porch next to one of the banisters while Alfred sat down in the empty spot beside Peter, taking the boy's hand when he reached for him. "Did something happen to make her want to quit?"

"She's pregnant." Arthur sighed, running a hand through his unruly hair restlessly and nodding grimly when Alfred looked to him with wide, azure eyes. "I know, I was shocked as well. I thought she smelled a bit peculiar, but I thought nothing of it."

"Did she say who the dad was?"

"Some Alpha in her grade. He lives in Anderson but makes the commute here for school. Apparently, they met at a football game."

"And by football, you mean real football, right?"

"They're getting married and Annie is moving to Anderson with him." Arthur continued, ignoring Alfred's comment. "She told Mum that she hoped we could still be a family and Mum completely lost it. They've been fighting for a good half hour, now."

Alfred frowned, not exactly angry with Annie's decision but instead filled with sorrow for her. He knew Annie well enough to understand that this whole thing was most likely an accident, that she'd always wanted a family but planned on waiting until she was older to have one. Now that this had happened, Annie and her mate were probably only trying to do the right thing by marrying to give their child a stable living environment. That was all Alfred could hope for in that situation, though he knew Lucie Kirkland wasn't going to accept it easily.

In their religion, sex outside of marriage was almost as taboo as two people of the same gender being together – or two Omegas. There had to be time for the bond to take before the actual mating began, and while you could choose a partner while you were young and stay with them, you couldn't act on any desires until the vows were spoken and the union was solidified in the eyes of the Lord.

While not as devout as Arthur, Annie took their faith seriously, and the knowledge of what she had done must have destroyed her inside. Alfred could only imagine how scared the Beta was, and he knew that if he were in her situation, he would want the strength and acceptance of his mother as well. But from the shrieking going on just inside the door, Annie wasn't getting that.

"She'll have to go to confession." Matthew said suddenly, hugging his knees to his chest and resting his chin atop them. "I doubt Lucie will agree to this if she doesn't."

Alfred loved Matthew. Really, he did. But he was so stuck in the ways of their faith sometimes that Alfred grew annoyed. Sex before marriage was bad, sure, but at least Annie was trying to make up for her mistakes. And if she wanted to apologize to God, she could pray to Him directly without having to shame herself in front of Father Todd.

But, Alfred reasoned, he'd been willing to go to confession when he told Arthur about his thoughts towards other boys. The Omega couldn't expect others to see reason when he himself hadn't been any wiser a few short months ago.

"That's what they're shouting about. Mum said she has to go to confession and get married before she leaves, but Annie told her they weren't ready to wed yet. She plans on leaving with him tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Alfred echoed, feeling sad. That didn't leave much time to say goodbye.

He could only imagine how Arthur felt about all this. Despite being as religious as they come, the emerald-eyed Omega wouldn't possibly damn his sister for any of this. Arthur had always been closer to Annie than any of his other siblings, and with her gone, who would he have to talk to?

Peter was too young – even now, he was looking among the three of them, baby blue eyes wide with fright in the midst of a situation he didn't know how to deal with. Alasdair and Scott had graduated high school last spring – Scott a year ahead of other kids his age – and while they had mellowed out since their youth, the two Alphas still weren't Arthur's first choice in company. But whenever the oldest Kirkland brothers decided to leave and start families of their own, it would just leave Arthur and Peter.

Alfred suddenly realized his odd little family was growing smaller far too quickly.

The front door suddenly slammed open, revealing Lucie. Her graying, blonde hair was pulled up into a haphazard bun, more than a few strands falling on front of her face, and as she stepped further out onto the porch, shutting the door behind her, Alfred noticed she was wearing jeans and an old t-shirt. That in itself was odd. It wasn't often that Lucie left her house looking so casual. "Caroline is home, yes?" She said briskly, stomping past Matthew and down the steps, off toward the Jones' house. "I'll be back in a while, boys."

No one said anything as they watched the woman start off down the street, obviously upset and desperate to be in the company of someone who would understand her frustrations. Alfred knew his mother was perfect for that job.

After a few tense moments of silence, the door opened once more. Scott came out first, followed by Alasdair, and while Alfred hadn't expected Annie to make an appearance, he was still disappointed when the redhead didn't follow. "Well, that was lovely." Scott said drily, glancing past Alfred and Peter to lock eyes with Arthur. "You could hear all of that, yeah?"

"Every word." Arthur replied, crossing his legs and leaning back against the porch swing, draping his right arm over the back of it, behind Peter and Alfred. The seat began to swing slowly with the movement, and Alfred pushed his shoulder back against Arthur's wrist. "Where's Annie?"

"Upstairs." Alasdair replied, reaching out to grasp Matthew's shoulder when the younger boy stood up. Alfred thought the man looked exhausted and near tears himself, but this was Alasdair Kirkland. He'd just as soon be an Omega than show weakness in front of them all. "You ready to get going?"

"Take Peter with you." Arthur interjected, smiling softly when the six-year-old whipped his head to the side to look at him. "Yes, you."

"But Mum said I couldn't go!"

"Eh, what Mum doesn't know won't hurt her." Scott said, grabbing the young Beta's hand and coaxing him into standing. "She'll probably be at Aunt Caroline's house for a few hours. Don't you want to see Mattie run away screaming when we get out the worms?"

"Oh, whatever, Al and I were ten when we last went fishing, let it go."

Alfred watched all of this at Arthur's side, and when the four boys left the cover of the porch, moving towards Scott's car, Alfred began to stand only to pause when he felt a hand on the back of his neck. Rather than continue to get up and leave Arthur alone on the porch, Alfred settled back down, turning to glance at the other Omega. "Are you not coming?"

"No." Arthur replied, eyes focused as he played with the hair at the nape of Alfred's neck. The younger of the two Omegas glanced out onto the lawn, just to make sure that no one was paying attention to them. "With Peter going, we wouldn't all fit in the car. Besides, someone should stay here with Annie."

"Do you want me to hang back?"

Arthur shook his head. "No, you – "

"Arthur Kirkland." Alfred jumped and Arthur pulled his hand away, and while more outwardly composed than Alfred, the green-eyed Omega was definitely startled. Annie had appeared out of nowhere, puffy-eyed and obviously shaken but still grinning at the two Omegas who were staring at her like deer caught in the headlights. "When was it that you started looking after me and not the other way around?"

"Are you okay?" Alfred blurted out. "I mean – "

"I'm fine, Al." Annie reassured him, though she was watching Arthur. "Mum will get over it. And I can't change the way she feels, so why be upset? Come on, we're going fishing, too!"

"We can't all fit Scott's car, Ann."

Annie grinned, holding up a pair of keys that Alfred realized belonged to Lucie, whose own car was currently in the garage. "Really, what more do I have to lose?"

Annie's departure marked another change in Alfred's life.

While the goodbye had been filled with tears and well wishes, Alfred's parents and Arthur's mom had also been filled with a new resolve to further institute religion into their remaining children's lives.

For Alfred, the Bible readings before bed were a complete and total bore and did nothing but convince him that everything was being shoved down his throat. And every slip-up he happened to make was completely blown out of proportion! He said the Lord's name in vain and was grounded for a week. Matthew didn't wake himself up in enough time for mass and was forced to go the following Saturday as well as on Sunday to make up for it.

But the worst of it was when Alfred's mom was cleaning his room and happened upon the Playboy magazine Feliciano had given him. Alfred came home from school that day and was immediately hustled into the car and taken straight to the home of their local priest – Father Todd – for confession. It was pretty much the most humiliating moment of Alfred's life, especially since he hadn't even found the time to think about the offending magazine, much less look at it, and to have his mother stand nearby while he recounted a series of false lies to a man who had baptized him when he was an infant… well, Alfred was completely red throughout the entire experience.

He started distancing himself from his parents, lost interest in almost everything, and spent more time in his room drawing instead of spending time with his family and friends. It was hard; for Alfred especially. As a naturally social person, that mood of indifference he always seemed to be in was off-putting and a little frightening. He wasn't sure how to deal with it, and no one was giving him the time or space to process it all.

Alfred's mother went into heat later than usual that year, a week or so before Christmas, and since he and Matthew were past the age where they needed to stay with the Kirklands for a week, Alfred found himself lying awake at night and trying to ignore his mom's sickening wails of pleasure.

He regretted forgoing the annual stay with the Kirklands. Really, he did. No matter how many blankets he buried himself under, no matter how hard he pressed his pillow against his face, nothing made the sounds go away. Not even Matthew's thick body spray could remove the fertile Omega scent from the air.

Alfred's twin brother wasn't affected by the smell of Alfred or their mom, as he would've been by any other Omega in heat, though the Alpha had opted to stay with the Kirklands in Annie's old bedroom – just for one night. Alfred wasn't sure why he hadn't gone with his brother after dinner, and at nearly midnight on a Wednesday, he regretted the decision now.

It was easier to ignore his feelings of jealousy when Matthew was around to talk to, but now that he was alone, Alfred was practically overcome by it. And boy did Alfred feel strange for being jealous over the fact that his own mom was being bred and he wasn't.

He could forget about it when he was thirteen and not as sexually driven out of heat, but now, things were different. How was it fair that just because he was a male Omega, he wasn't allowed to achieve completion in the way female Omegas were? His mom would never have to suffer as Alfred did every year and would for the rest of his life, and the Omega could've punched something just thinking about it.

Alfred stared up at his darkened ceiling, miserable, clutching a pillow to his chest as the noises began to die down for the first time that night. Maybe his parents would get a few hours of rest, giving Alfred the opportunity to do the same, but even though his eyes were burning and the Omega hadn't gotten a good nights sleep in nearly three days, Alfred just couldn't doze off.

It was snowing outside, the flakes so large Alfred could see their fuzzy shadows moving across his floorboards even without his glasses when he turned onto his side, light from streetlamps outside illuminating that single patch in the wood. Alfred watched through half-lidded eyes, finally close to falling asleep when he heard a knock on his window.

The Omega froze, clutching at his pillow and debating whether or not to call for his parents – his dad was probably still knotted, God, how awkward would that have been – but then he realized that in all the months he'd lived alone in that room, only one person had ever climbed onto the awning below Alfred's window in the middle of the night.

Sitting up so quickly his head started to spin, Alfred fumbled with his comforter, eyesight fuzzy, and crawled over to the window. Arthur climbed through as soon as Alfred managed to lift the latch, barely managing to avoid falling onto the younger Omega in his haste to get out of the snow.

"What are you doing here?" Alfred hissed, latching the window again as Arthur shook snow and water out of his hair. "Are you an idiot? It's like negative one-thousand degrees out there!"

"If that's the case, the next ice age is fast upon us." Arthur replied, throwing his coat and boots to the floor before falling back against Alfred's pillows with an appreciative groan. "Your bed was always more comfortable than mine."

"What are you doing here?" Alfred repeated slowly, not sure how to react to the fact that Arthur was in his bed, as if they were pre-teens again, giggling over stupid knock-knock jokes.

Arthur pushed himself up on his elbows, and although Alfred couldn't really tell, he was certain Arthur's eyes were boring into Alfred's own. "I figured you would appreciate the company."

"I do." Alfred amended quickly, wincing when the noises picked up again, though he almost welcomed them this time. Now there was less risk of his parents hearing him and Arthur talking. "God, I do. It sucks being here alone."

"Why didn't you come over with Matthew?"

"I was asking myself the same thing, honestly." Arthur scooted over when Alfred plopped down next to him, rolling onto his back to adopt his earlier activity of staring at the ceiling, this time with a partner. "Maybe I'm just a masochist."

Arthur said nothing, and the two Omegas lay there together in near silence, Alfred aware that his companion was shivering from the cold but not sure what to do about it and Arthur lost in silent contemplation.

"Did you know my father was a male Omega?"

Alfred blinked, turning his head to the side to peer through the dim lighting at Arthur. It wasn't often that any of the Kirkland kids spoke of their dad. In all the years he'd known them, only Scott had mentioned him in Alfred's presence, and that was just to say, "The old man died, don't say a word in front of our mum." The American had always wondered about Mr. Kirkland, about what kind of person he'd been, but it was pretty obvious neither Arthur nor his brothers and sister wanted to discuss him.

"No." Alfred said when he realized Arthur was waiting for him to reply. "No, I didn't know that."

"He died when I was nine, a few months before Peter was born." Arthur was still trembling a bit from the cold, but at least now he was smiling. "Seamus Kirkland. He was one of the kindest men I've ever known, and his outlook on life was simply amazing. I'm extremely lucky to have had him as a father."

"What happened to him?"

"Cancer. I can't recall what kind anymore, but it took him quickly. After the diagnosis, he was gone in a matter of months. Mum tried to take care of all of us on her own, but with a new baby on top of four growing children, she was overwhelmed fairly quickly."

Arthur turned his head to meet Alfred's gaze then. "I didn't want to move to America. None of us did. But in my father's will, he mentioned a house in the states that he'd acquired when his grandfather died. It was completely paid off, and when my mother managed to save enough to move our entire family out here, we left Nottingham and never looked back."

Alfred listened to his friend talk, drowsy enough that the sound of Arthur's muddled accent was actually lulling him to sleep. While Alasdair, Scott, and Annie were teenagers when they'd left England, Arthur and Peter were younger and more receptive to the change in atmosphere. Peter didn't have much of an accent, though he called Lucie "mum" just as his siblings did, along with a few other choice phrases he'd picked up from his family.

Arthur's voice, while still obviously foreign, had adopted more of an American undertone, and while Arthur refused to admit it, Alfred was able to tell. It was in the way his vowels sometimes sharpened, as well as r's at the end of a word. Alfred thought it made Arthur's voice more intriguing. Sometimes he would catch himself listening for variations in the other Omega's speech pattern.

"Since my mum is a Beta, she couldn't do much for my father when he went into his heats." Arthur continued. "She would stay with him as any Alpha would have, and while she couldn't truly give him what he wanted… probably needed, their relationship wasn't an unhealthy one. My father always told me that when I was older, I'd hopefully find someone like Mum, who would ignore the fact that I was a male Omega and take care of me as best they could. He was a man of the Church as well, but he never assigned a gender or label when he discussed those things with me. Alpha, Beta, Omega, male, female; it didn't matter to him, just as it doesn't to me."

"I hate my mom." The quality of his own voice startled Alfred. He sounded bitter, angry, like Arthur had been when they were younger. "She doesn't even know how pissed off I am right now."

"I doubt she's able to think much of anything at the moment. You and I both know that perfectly well."

"It's not fair." Alfred murmured, tearing his gaze away from Arthur and returning it to the ceiling once more, his eyes burning for completely different reasons now. "I can't imagine living the rest of my life like this. It's weird, Arthur. Heats only last a week each year, but now, those seven days feel like the only thing that matters. It's all I can think about, how much I dread it."

"I know, Alfred." The bed sheets rustled and then suddenly Arthur was looming over him, propped up on an elbow. Alfred could barely see through his tears, though he did notice the worried frown on his companion's face. "I feel the same way."

"I'm not gay." Alfred said, watching Arthur's face carefully. "But I'm sure as hell not straight, I know that now. And there's nothing I can do about it."

Arthur shifted again, pressing a cold palm to Alfred's forehead and pushing the hair off his forehead, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully. "You're really warm. I think you're getting sick."

"Arthur, knock it off!" Alfred snapped, slapping Arthur's hand away in irritation. "I feel fine!"

"You're not fine." Arthur insisted, undeterred despite Alfred's temper. "You're not taking care of yourself. The bags under your eyes are worse than they were at school this morning!"

"It's kinda hard to sleep when your parents are fucking right down the hall."

Arthur squared his jaw, emerald eyes as acidic as they'd ever been. "They've been there since last week and the week before. Ever since Annie left, you've been like this. Feliciano and Lovino came over last week to invite us to build snowmen and Matthew, Peter, and I had to leave without you because your parents couldn't get you to unlock your door. You're depressed, Al."

Was he? Alfred didn't know what it felt like to be depressed. He'd never thought about it before, hadn't considered that to be a possibility. But it made sense when Arthur said it. He didn't even remember hearing the Vargas brothers stop by. Come to think of it, when was the last time Alfred had even talked to Feli outside of art class? This winter had gone by in a blur, the only things Alfred really remembered being the times when he got in trouble for one thing or another.

Alfred sniffed, draping a forearm over his eyes in an attempt to block it all out, but it was of no use. Tears were already spilling down his cheeks. "I don't think there's a Heaven, Arthur. Or a Hell. I think there's only here and now, that this is where we experience the clouds and fires both, and after this, there's nothing."

"Hey, no." Arthur pried Alfred's arm away from his face, the look in his eyes completely aghast. "Where is this coming from?"

"I'm done trying! If I like men and women both, so what? If I want to give in to my heat instincts, who gives a fuck? I'm tired of walking on ice around my parents and ignoring what I want."

"What do you want?"

"I love you." The two stared at each other. "There, that's what I wanted, to at least say it to you. I love you, I do. And if I told my mom and dad they would ship me off to the nearest seminary and I would never see you again. They'd say I'm confused and sick and too young to know what love is, but you know, I wouldn't even be confused if it weren't for them."

"Alfred – "

"My parents always said being an Omega didn't mean I was any less a man, but that was a total lie. They treat Mattie and me differently just because I was born with a different blood type than him. I have to lock myself away during my heats and sit there in pain knowing I'm an abnormality and that taking care of myself will result in being excommunicated from my family!"

Arthur shushed him, wiping away tears as Alfred released a shuddering breath, realizing that the noises had stopped once more. Alfred has never felt more like a stereotypical Omega than he did in that specific moment, in his childhood bedroom with Arthur when he was sixteen and the other Omega was seventeen. He'd felt small and vulnerable beneath Arthur's body, complying as the older boy instructed him to stay quiet, alert with the fear that his parents could finally hear them and come to investigate – or at least his dad would have.

"You don't get to say you love me and then go off on a rant like that." Arthur chuckled, ignoring Alfred's acidic glare.

"Well, excuse me – "

"I love you, too." Arthur interjected, and Alfred blinked, because although he'd known in the back of his head, it was different to actually hear it out loud like that. His dreams didn't even compare, couldn't capture the raw emotion in Arthur's eyes when he said it. Only Arthur had ever looked at Alfred like that, as if he were something precious, something to be cherished, no matter the cost. "Of course I do, even if you are a complete and utter moron sometimes. I almost can't believe you allowed yourself to become so worked up over this that you're actually getting sick."

"I'm not sick."

"Our lives will be harder than most." Was it just Alfred's imagination, or was Arthur leaning down, getting closer? "But I promise you, Alfred. Once we're done with school, it will just be us, and you won't have to suffer through your heats alone anymore."

"You won't either." Alfred said. He had another reason to hate school, then. Until he graduated, he would live with his parents, and they would keep him from Arthur. "I always hated thinking about you being alone for a week, even when we were little."

Arthur grinned. "You burst out of the house after my first heat and checked every part of me more than once, as I recall. It was a bit embarrassing, you know. My brothers wouldn't let it go for weeks."

Alfred smiled, somewhat warmed by the memory, and when he registered again that Arthur was shifting closer, a squirming sensation became apparent in his gut. But it wasn't pleasant, not in the slightest, and before Arthur could do whatever it was he'd planned to do that night, Alfred had struggled away from him and was vomiting onto the floor.

"Maybe you're right." Alfred croaked when it was over, head and arms dangling over the edge of the bed in misery as Arthur rubbed soothing circles into his back. "Maybe I am getting sick."

"Or perhaps your body is getting rid of all the negativity you've been festering in for a few weeks now that everything's resolved."

"Artie, this is no time for your psychological, romantic crap, okay, I'm dying here."

"Melodramatic as always." Arthur chuckled, rearranging Alfred on the bed so the ill Omega was resting against his pillows once more. "At least you're starting to feel better. Sit tight, Al. I'll go get you a glass of water."

Alfred's parents had no idea Arthur was even there that day, staying close to the blue-eyed Omega's side and taking care of him during that first day of his illness. With so much snow on the ground outside, school was canceled – not that Alfred could've gone anyway – but it did mean Arthur didn't have an excuse for not being home when his mother woke up in the morning.

The phone rang around nine in the morning. Alfred dozed softly on the bed while Arthur answered the phone on the bedside table, still curled around the other boy's body, refusing to leave even for a second. "Mum, it's me. I'm sorry I left without saying anything last night. Al called and told me he was sick, so I came over to take care of him while Caroline and Robert are busy… yes, it's pretty bad. He can hardly move at this point. Okay, I'll tell him."

"What did she say?" Alfred asked, moaning deliriously when Arthur leaned down to press a kiss to his forehead, gripping the Briton closer.

"Just that she hopes you get well soon. And not to bother your parents."

"Yeah, Heaven forbid I walk in on them now."

They were careful. Winter melted into spring and any and all reservations the boys had with each other went along with it. In public, things stayed the same. They were nearly brothers and had been for many years; no one thought something was off, especially since Arthur Kirkland and Alfred Jones weren't the type of boys to deviate from the paths set for them.

Not much changed when they were alone either, though Alfred did notice how touchy Arthur could be, how happy it seemed to make him knowing that Alfred was finally capable of returning his affections after many years of pining, for lack of a better word.

Alfred's attitude started to get better, his overwhelming sadness over his situation disappearing the more time he spent with Arthur without getting caught, though that anger never left him completely. Despite the fact that he'd finally decided to act on his desires, he was still aware that what they were doing was considered wrong in the eyes of everyone they knew. It was frustrating, knowing there was nothing he could do to change it, couldn't tell his friends and family why he was suddenly "back to normal" – or almost, anyway.

Arthur said to give it time. Eventually, people would change. But Alfred wasn't so sure, and in March of 1986, the Omega's frustrations finally boiled over.

He'd been eating lunch with Feliciano, Matthew, and Lilli, teasing his twin brother over a small, silver promise ring that had quite suddenly appeared on Lilli's right hand, and Alfred doubts he would've heard Gilbert talking if it had been any other time of year. Alfred had gotten over his illness before Christmas, though most of his schoolmates were plagued with bouts of the flu toward the end of February and the beginning of March. It was a small school to begin with, though with the added absences, the cafeteria was quieter than usual.

"My mom was watching the television the other day." Normally Alfred didn't eavesdrop on other people's conversations, but he hadn't had the time to sit down in front of a monitor lately and was curious as to what the latest "gossip" was. Probably just some movie star with a new haircut. "It was like, one of those background people during a news broadcast, and they were interviewing some lady, and guess what I saw?"

"Feliks, no one likes it when you pause for dramatic effect like that, just spit it out!"

Alfred stifled a giggle, ignoring the curious look Lilli sent his way. It was a wonder Gilbert had any friends, what with the way he talked to them.

"Okay, okay! It was a pregnant Omega. And it was a guy."

Gilbert snorted, and even without turning around Alfred could imagine the sneer on the other boy's face. "Are you serious? Damn, the things they put on TV these days. I don't need to know if some guy likes taking it up the ass, thanks."

"Freddie, are you okay?" Lilli questioned around an apple. She was the only person aside from his mom and sometimes Matthew that called him that, and probably the only one who could actually get away with it nowadays. "You're starting to turn red."

"My mom keeps quoting the Bible when shit like that happens and says God will strike down the wicked!" That was someone other than Feliks or Gilbert, though Alfred couldn't tell who it was past the roaring in his ears. "It's getting pretty annoying."

"Even if God doesn't, someone else will." Gilbert commented. "I remember a few years ago dead Omega males were popping up all over the west coast. It's probably only a matter of time before society deems them worthless and snuffs them out completely."

Alfred was up and standing over Gilbert before the Omega even registered he had moved. Feliks stared up at him, shocked, and Gilbert was starting to turn around when Alfred poured the milk over his head. The liquid was white, not brown, so he must've swiped Matthew's on accident.

"Alfred!" Feliciano yelped from their table a few feet away, though Alfred was only paying attention to Gilbert, who jolted forward at the assault, slamming his hands down on the table before he whipped around, ruby eyes widening when he saw just who it was that had dared to bother him.

"Jones? What the fuck, man?"

"Omega males are not worthless!" Alfred snarled, and Gilbert scowled, seeming to realize his mistake. However, the Alpha didn't even look the least bit apologetic, and that only fueled Alfred's anger. "People like you make me sick."

"People like me?" Gilbert echoed, the cafeteria completely silent as the Alpha got to his feet, facing Alfred head-on. They were about the same height give or take a few inches, and while Alfred was bigger than Gilbert, the Omega knew he would have a hard time if things got physical. He wasn't used to fighting like Arthur was, wasn't conditioned thanks to soccer, but after nearly six years of toting Peter Kirkland around, Alfred's arms had definition. "What did I do? Speak my mind? I'm not the only one who thinks guy Omegas are pointless, why don't you go preach to someone else?"

"How are we pointless?"

"Umm, hello? Girls are the ones that are supposed to give birth, Jones, not guys like you and Kirkland. Haven't you been paying attention during Sunday school? It's a sin to even consider it. What purpose do you have, huh? Aside from making people uncomfortable, that is."

"You wouldn't be saying that if you were born an Omega! Or even a Beta! You think you're so much better than everyone else just because you're a stupid, hormonal Alpha."

"Maybe so," Gilbert said, smirking in Alfred's face, completely calm despite the milk dripping steadily off the ends of his hair, "but a stupid, hormonal Alpha like me is something you want, isn't it, Jones? Because let's face it, you're nothing without one."

Alfred shoved hard at Gilbert's chest, right in the center, just as he'd seen Arthur do to the Alpha on the field during soccer practice. Gilbert stumbled back down into his seat but was up again before Alfred could even blink, fisting the Omega's shirt and yanking him closer, teeth bared in a furious snarl.

Lilli was shouting something as the Alpha raised his fist, Feliciano up and out of his seat in an attempt to find a teacher, and suddenly Alfred found himself separated from Gilbert by Matthew. His twin shoved Gilbert just as Alfred had, though with enough force to actually send the boy sprawling onto the table, landing on a few lunches.

Alfred snatched the hood of his brother's sweatshirt when he surged forward again, afraid Matthew would actually attack Gilbert and finish what Alfred had stupidly started in a blind rage. "Don't you ever touch my brother again." Matthew said quietly, and the cold rage in his voice was far more terrifying than any yelling the Alpha could have done. Alfred had never been frightened of Matthew before and he wasn't then, but it was obvious Gilbert was, and that was really all that mattered. "Come on, Al."

Alfred allowed himself to be dragged out of the cafeteria, some parts angry and others shocked, and it wasn't until Matthew had him up against a wall near the gymnasium, shaking his shoulders, that Alfred was able to wipe the image of Gilbert Beilschmidt baring down on him out of his head. "Alfred Foster, what the hell was that?"

Alfred scowled, shrugging off his brother's hands. "Nothing."

"That was not nothing!" Matthew countered, moving to block the Omega's exit when he tried to stalk away. "You poured milk all over Gilbert. You could've gotten hurt. What if I hadn't been there, who would've helped you then? You can't do things like that!"

"Why?" Alfred spat. "Because I'm an Omega?"

"Because Gilbert is stronger than you! You're big, Al, but you're not invincible. And okay, maybe you're an Omega and maybe he is an Alpha, but so what? That fight would've ended horribly for you regardless. The fact of the matter is, you let your temper get the better of you and you could've gotten hurt because of it."

"I can take care of myself." Alfred said, meeting Matthew's furious azure stare with an identical one of his own. "I don't need you to protect me. And don't feed me that bullshit about how it doesn't matter that I'm an Omega and he's an Alpha. I know you don't think that, Matthew. You're just like everyone else."

Matthew blinked, the furious look in his eyes replaced by one of hurt. Alfred almost crumbled. For all his Alpha attributes, Matthew had a tendency to look like a whipped puppy when he and Alfred fought. But the look disappeared as quickly as it had arrived, and Matthew glared at his brother dangerously, taking a step back. "You get upset because you think everyone has prejudices against Omegas, but you have ones against everyone, Alfred. You seem to think the only person who understands you is Arthur, and that's not true and it's not fair."

"I didn't – "

"And not all Alphas are stupid and hormonal."

"Jesus Christ." Alfred groaned as his brother turned to walk away, though the Omega didn't try to reach for him. It was better to leave Matthew be when he got angry, otherwise he would lash out and then where would they be? "Mattie, I didn't mean it like that!"

Alfred watched his twin's form grow smaller and smaller until he eventually disappeared around a corner, leaving Alfred alone with the notion that he'd messed up big time.

Quiet footsteps sounded from the direction of the cafeteria, and Alfred watched miserably as Lilli approached him. "Are you okay?" She asked.

"I've been better."

"I heard you and Matthew talking."

"He's pissed at me." Alfred groaned, removing his glasses to press the heel of one palm against his left eye, wishing that Arthur were there and not stuck in some stupid student council meeting. "I would be, too, I guess, if I were him."

"He's only upset because he cares." Lilli insisted. "That was pretty scary. Gilbert was going to hit you, and he doesn't care that you're an Omega. He wouldn't have held back. If Matthew hadn't done something – "

"I would've gotten hurt, I know. Mattie said the same thing."

"I know it's hard to be an Omega." Lilli said, smiling ruefully when Alfred glanced at her after putting his glasses back on. "My parents want me to marry rich so I can stay home and raise my children comfortably. At our age, most people are being asked what they want to do once they graduate, but that's not my life."

Alfred shrugged. "Mattie and I will have to split the inheritance, but it's a pretty hefty one."

Lilli laughed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and staring off in the direction Matthew had taken. "When I told my parents I was dating Matthew Jones, they couldn't have been happier. Imagine when I go home today and they see my ring."

"That was pretty cheesy."

"Oh, I know. But it's Matthew. I couldn't stop blushing when he gave it to me before school."

"He's crazy about you." Alfred stated, unsure of how he'd gone from talking about his brother being upset with him to discussing the same brother's love life. "I know you guys are gonna do okay out in the real world."

"I sure hope so." Lilli said just as the bell that announced the end of lunch sounded. "Feliciano came back with a teacher after you guys left. I'm sure Gilbert's told him an interesting story by now. You should go straighten things out. I'm going to go look for Matthew. See you, Alfred."

"Bye, Lilli." Alfred sighed, pushing away from the wall as he and his brother's girlfriend went separate ways, thinking of a dozen different ways to explain to an adult just why he'd antagonized Gilbert without sounding like a sissy.

Alfred and Gilbert both ended up with detention – Alfred for starting the whole thing and Gilbert for nearly attacking an Omega. Matthew got off easy since he'd only been defending Alfred, and while the Omega was relieved he didn't have to sit in a tense atmosphere with his brother, it was still preferable to writing from the dictionary in the company of Gilbert Beilschmidt.

Gilbert fled the room as soon as the two hours were up, Alfred following more slowly, dreading the return home. He really hoped Matthew had decided to cover for him. Even if he was pissed, they were still brothers.

Alfred left the school at nearly five-thirty, and while he had expected a lonely walk home, what he hadn't anticipated was for someone to be waiting for him. Arthur slid off the concrete barrier that separated the yard of the high school from the sidewalk, watching Alfred's approach with his arms crossed. "Who told you?" Alfred asked once they were within a few feet of each other.

"Feliciano burst into the conference room and started tugging at my arm, shouting about a fight."

"Huh? He went to you instead of a teacher?"

Arthur shrugged. "I haven't a clue as to why. Feliciano never said it was you, otherwise I would have come myself, but since I was preoccupied, I called for Mr. Donald instead."

"Mattie took care of it." Alfred sniffed. "Can we go home now?"

Arthur looked like he wanted to say more, but only nodded in response, and the two walked home together in silence.